With the seventh and second-to-last season of Game of Thrones coming out this July, fans are waiting with baited breath to find out the fate of their favorite characters. To many, the subject of Tyrion Lannister is the most concerning; the "Imp" is arguably the most cunning and intelligent character on the show as well as one of the funniest. No matter how dire or dangerous the circumstances, Tyrion always has some sort of snarky and hilarious commentary on the situation. In the Marvel universe, Tony Stark plays a similar role to the dwarfish Lannister; Iron Man is the master of sarcasm, often pointing out the absurdity of the comic book genre or casually throwing shade at one of his villains.
Snarkiness aside, the two characters are much more alike than it'd appear on first glance. They both are the top minds of their respective series, both are characterized as womanizers, and both have strained relationships with their fathers. On top of all this, they both struggle to make friends and enjoy alcohol a little bit too much. Seriously, it's like these two are brothers separated at birth and sent to parallel universes!
That said, do you think you have what it takes to tell the two apart? Both Tony and Tyrion have a habit going on sarcastic, drunken tirades with lots of wit and a little bit of sass to boot. Let's play Who said this sarcastic quote? Tyrion Lannister or Tony Stark?
"That’s what I do: I drink and I know things."
Oh, how we all wish we could live by this philosophy! Tony and Tyrion both fit into that trope of "lazy drunken genius" that gets kicked around so much in modern-day storytelling. Tony drinks because of his own PTSD as well as his inner insecurity. Tyrion, on the other hand, drinks because he feels empty inside thanks to his hideous appearance, outcast status, and inability to maintain personal relationships. Though this quote applies to both of the characters, only one was able to bestow this wisdom upon us.
"I'll have you know I was playing a very unimportant game of chess right now with a man that kept saying 'king me.'"
We've all been here before, playing a game with someone that has absolutely no idea what they are doing. However, there are some games, like chess, that have somewhat of an air of sophistication about them. When two players engage in a game of chess, they match wits in a way that isn't seen by the likes of something like checkers or poker. This character uses this quote to show off his intellectual superiority over his opponent by putting forward that he was playing the "unsophisticated" game of checkers while he himself was playing chess.
"Textbook narcissism? Agreed."
We all know some sort of narcissist in our lives. No matter how hard we try to avoid them, these types of people seem abundant nowadays. Both of the aforementioned characters would definitely fall under this category; Tony and Tyrion both think of themselves as the smartest person in the universe, and don't react too well when their plans fall apart or somebody outsmarts them. In this situation, the character is smugly agreeing with the person who finally called them out on their BS.
"I try to know as many people as I can. You'll never know which one you'll need."
Remember when we said these guys were both narcissists? Yeah...This quote pretty much puts any doubt about that statement to rest. The character in question understands that any sort of real human relationship comes with baggage beyond belief. Instead, he sees the people he knows as some sort of human capital based on the knowledge and skills that they possess rather than the enjoyment he gets from being in their company. Yeah, textbook narcissism sounds about right in this case.
"I am the God of Tits and Wine."
Come on, this one should be dead easy! This quote is practically this character's catchphrase in his series (or at least one of his most memorable lines), and is much to vulgar for the likes of the family-friendly films of Marvel. Or is it? Marvel has gotten into the R-rated territory time and time again, and what better character to put in this R-rated world than womanizing sass-machine Tony Stark? Vulgarity aside, this quote is pretty spot on for both of the subjects of this quiz.
"Can I buy you a vineyard?"
If there's one thing you can say about Tony and Tyrion, it is that they like their alcohol! They also like their women. When a situation arises that combines the two, you can bet they feel like they hit the jackpot. The quote above comes when the character first meets a woman to which he takes a very strong liking. Playing off the old pickup line adage of "buying her a drink," he offers to purchase her an entire vineyard.
"Killing and politics aren't always the same thing."
There's no way around it- Politics are everywhere right now. Heck, it'd be surprising if even this quiz didn't garner some sort of politically-based backlash somewhere along the line. However, the character that said this quote wants nothing of it. Although he is willing to engage in political schemes for the good of his country, he'd much rather be sitting at home with a drink in one hand and a female companion in the other. He uses this quote to snarkily show his disdain for the political sphere.
"People often claim to hunger for the truth, but seldom like the taste when it’s served up."
As we found out in the movie "A Few Good Men," many people just can't handle the truth. This character echoes this opinion with his quote, pointing out that those who seek the truth often don't like how brutally honest it is. It's completely understandable; the cold, hard facts are incapable of having any sort of biases. They tell you exactly what happened, even if the truth is something that you've been dreading and avoiding for the entirety of your life.
"You asked us to build a city fit for gods. This is better."
Leave it to one of these guys to claim that their creation is better than something a god would want to live in. Yes, Tony Stark made his legacy as a brilliant inventory, but that's not to say that a little bit of land development is out of his scope! Likewise, Tyrion is more of a "behind-the-scenes" planner/advisor, but remember that he was put in charge of the most important city in the entire seven kingdoms! Who claimed that their urban planning was so awesome?
"What sort of imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade?"
Yeah, we're gonna have to agree with them on this one. If you're going to send someone to secretly kill one of your enemies without causing a giant ruckus, it's probably best to make them use their own weapon. Seriously, if you know the weapon we're talking about, it's pretty obvious who sent the assassin. The quote in question happens right after one of the main characters of the series fights off a mercenary sent to kill them and closely inspects the dagger used against them.
"Doth Mother Knoweth That You Weareth Her Drapes?"
Characters based on the medieval period are going to always be dressed in costumes that appear strange to the modern-day viewer. What counted as high fashion back in those days was very billowy, with capes, tunics, tippet sleeves, and flowing gowns just scratching the surface. On this occasion, the character in question has had enough of the royal style of fashion and mockingly asks if their opponent's mother realizes that he's wearing her drapes. Come on, we know you know this one!
"The powerful have always preyed on the powerless. That's how they became so powerful in the first place."
Though both Tony and Tyrion are what would be considered rich and powerful men, they tend to have a heart when it comes to situations involving the less fortunate. The Lannister is willing to protect innocent children and avoid violence in his violent world when possible, while Tony literally uses his technological inventions to protect the people of New York. Despite being some of the most powerful men in the universe, these two can't stand those who use their power for evil.
"Schemes and plots are the same thing."
Well, they are! Despite the fact that one sounds a little less sinister than the other, a scheme and a plot have the same end goals in mind. Of course, not all schemes or plots are a bad thing...You can scheme to brighten someone's day. You can plot to pet your dog when you get home. Either way, you're going at it with the same sort of intention that you would with the other synonym. This character was surrounded by people who "schemed" their way to glory, and was himself completely fed up by the whole situation.
"And now I have struck a King! Did my hand fall from my wrist?"
You gotta love Kings. Always going around wearing that giant glitzy crown, acting like they're so much better than everyone else. Sure, they are the richest and most well-respected man in the Kingdom. Sure, they usually have a divine right to the throne. But the nerve of those guys! In a pivotal moment in this franchise, the character in question finally gets to lay his hand upon the pompous jerk in a way that was so, SOOO satisfying to fans everywhere.
"If there’s one thing I’ve proven it’s that you can count on me to pleasure myself."
Remember how we said that these two guys are womanizers? Well, only kind of. They both attract the ladies with their charm and wealth, but often drive them away thanks to their snarky and sometimes mean-spirited attitude. Not to mention, Stark has a constant target on his head and Tyrion is the least respected of the Lannister family. So, when times are desperate, see above quote. Of course the character who said this was simply making a double entendre!
"I need a day when there aren't twenty crises to deal with, but I don't see that coming any time soon."
Tony and Tyrion are plagued with crises. It's only natural; Iron Man lives in a world filled with supervillains and aliens hellbent on conquering the universe, while Tyrion has to live with the repercussions of King Joffrey and Cersei's decisions. Despite the chaos that is constantly unfolding around them, they both do a bang-up job at righting the ship. Tyrion was arguably the best Hand of the King in the entire series of Game of Thrones, and Tony is the secondary (sometimes main) leader of the Avengers.
"If you’re going to be a cripple, it’s better to be a rich cripple."
Yeah, these guys are kinda a-holes. As wise and kind as they may be, they are both considered the king of sass in their respective universes for a good reason! Seriously, this quote comes right after a horrible accident renders one of the series' main heroes broken and battered. Of course, one side blames the other for the accident (rightfully so) and an all out war breaks out between the two factions. This quote was just a way to try and ease the tensions between the two parties.
"I know everything. I can't help it."
We get the feeling that Tyrion and Tony both shop at "Narcissists-R-Us." Seriously, how far up your own ego can a guy get? Yes, they're highly intelligent and yes, they are right more often than they are wrong. But come on, how can you hear someone say a quote like this and not instantly roll your eyes at their ego? The lack of hubris of these guys is what always makes it so funny when they get knocked down a peg for being wrong.
"It’s not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy."
Let's be honest here- We've all had our moments where, after a little bit of coaxing from our friends, we've gone out and drank a little too much. However, this is far from the case of Tyrion and Tony. Though the MCU has tried to stray away from his alcoholism to keep with the more family-friendly tone of the films, comic book Stark is a downright alcoholic. Tyrion never gets quite this bad, but if there's one thing he enjoys more than a good book, it's his wine.
"It’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head."
You may think that the wording of this question instantly gives this one away. But it doesn't! Tyranny runs rampant throughout the Marvel Cinematic Universe as well as Westeros. Forces like Dr. Doom, Black Panther, and the Shadow King all claim royal heritage. Obviously we don't need to tell you guys about the ruling class in Game of Thrones; the entire story centers on the idea of "who will sit on the Iron Throne" and rule the country at the series' end! This quote is in relation to one of these rulers going off his rocker.
"You know damn well nobody's too big to go away when the right people are angry at you. And these people are very, very angry at me."
In the world of fiction, you make a lot of enemies. Both of these guys have been around for decades (at least in real time), amassing violent adversaries along the way. However, their biggest threat isn't the Mandarin or the Blackfish's army. No, the biggest threat to a hero's safety is a person with infinite wealth and equal rage. When you piss off somebody like the Kingpin, Tywin, or Cersei, you'd better make sure you're looking around every corner before you take a step out. These people have the resources to make just about anyone disappear.
"There's one last little thread to be taken care of, so I'll go and attend to it and leave you to... polish his silverware."
Yeah...did we mention that these guys are both rich. Like, filthy rich? If it wasn't apparent before, the way this character brushes off the other person like they are just another one of their servants should make it abundantly clear. During an incident in the series, the character who said this quote is locked in an intense conversation with their peers before they are quite rudely interrupted. Even more rudely is the way he responds, telling them that they can "polish his silverware." Another double entendre!
"Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons. Doesn’t seem right."
Morons, represent! As much as it pains us to admit it, this character is right. When you dive into the records of history you'll find information about generals, kings, presidents, philosophers, and inventors. Where are all the books about Joe Schneider, the town drunk? He may be on to something here...In modern-day pop culture it seems like every franchise needs their village idiot. Star Wars had Jar Jar, The Office has Kevin, Pirates of the Caribbean has Pintel and Ragetti, and so on and so forth. .
"Following’s Not Really My Style."
Say what you will about their bad habits and attitude, but Tyrion and Tony Stark are anything but followers. When Stannis Baratheon was about to invade King's Landing and King Joffrey hid away like a coward, who led the counter-charge? When action needed to be taken in Meereen, who released the dragons? On the flip side, who was the one that waltzed up to Loki and mocked him without any sort of protection? Both of these characters are unpredictable leaders, and that's why we love them!
"I tell myself -- that I hate being drunk again. Well. It's just not true. Because I'm enjoying the hell out of it."
The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. This quote is literally the opposite of that! Both of the titular characters of this quiz struggle with their alcoholism in different ways; Tony is currently sober but is just one bad day away from jumping back on the wagon. Meanwhile, Tyrion is living in constant fear for his life and cannot afford to be letting his guard down. However, his love of wine is too great: He allows himself to indulge in a little merry-making every now and then.