Who Said It: The Rick And Morty Edition
- by Ben Sherlock
- – on
- in Movies and TV
“Wubba lubba dub dub!” Rick and Morty is easily one of the most quotable shows on television. It’s down to the characters, really. They’re so lovable and well-characterized and defined that each of their lines stand out as brilliant. The show is full of memorable lines, ranging from laugh-out-loud funny to thought-provokingly philosophical.
Now, with season 3 premiering on July 31 and everyone excited for it, let’s take a look back at some of the greatest quotes from the show’s first two seasons. They’re all we’ve had for over a year and a half now (Mr. Poopybutthole did warn us the show would take this long to return) and we’ve been watching them over and over, hanging off of their every word.
Rick and Morty is like a religion to its fans, who search through every episode in search of some deeper meaning or sense of understanding. The mere act of watching it is a mesmerizing and transcendent experience. It’s a truly inspired and original show, with each new half-hour of material released by Adult Swim being another masterpiece. It’s a much-loved program in all walks of life and super quotable, but can you match these quotes to the character who first said them?
“Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We’re all going to die.”
A lot of the characters in Rick and Morty take a depressingly nihilistic approach to life. Most of all, Rick takes this approach. He seems to pretty much hate life and everything in it because he’s aware of how far and how deep reality goes. Maybe our optimism is down to the fact that we don’t know the bounds of the universe. We don’t know how deep the rabbit hole is, and that excites us. But Rick does. He’s been to the bottom. And he’s miserable because of it. But whose quote is this?
“What people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.”
Rick and Morty is a show that, on the surface, cares more about science and exploring the universe than it does about love and feelings. But this isn’t true. It’s a very emotional show. Rick may not have loved his horse surgeon daughter Beth’s mother all that much, but he sure loved Unity. And as shown by the end of “Rixty Minutes,” despite Jerry and Beth’s often terrible relationship, they’re perfect for each other. Morty is deeply in love with Jessica, even if it’s not reciprocated. But who said this?
“You’re the little brother. You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery, you’re just a symptom of it.”
What a brutally honest sentiment. It’s a well-known fact that Summer was not planned and that Jerry and Beth kind of rushed into marriage because the pregnancy and the decision not to get an abortion forced them to. Perhaps, had they had more time to explore things, they wouldn’t be together, but like Rick says about everything in the universe, it’s best just not to think about it. But who said this startlingly candid and unfortunately true line to Morty?
“That's the difference between you and me. I never go back to the carpet store.”
Out of context, this quote does not make any sense, but Rick and Morty fans are well aware of the context. It's a reference to the game Roy, in which you live out the entire life of a guy named Roy in just a few moments of real time. Going back to the carpet store is also a metaphor for seizing the day and rolling with the punches and moving on to new and exciting opportunities. Whose quote is this?
“Jerry, majoring in Civics was your mistake. Don’t punish us for it.”
Jerry is the target of everyone’s abuse. The only member of the family who isn’t mean and condescending to him is Morty. Everyone else, including his wife and his daughter, showers him with insults and ridicule. He’s barely respected as a man and Beth is generally regarded as wearing the pants. This has all collectively shattered Jerry’s ego and left him very insecure, which has made him desperate for any kind of approval. He was desperate for Morty to respect his view that Pluto is a planet, and he was desperate to show off his college education on civil law. Who called him on it?
"I hate Mumumanunzdays. And I really could go for some enchiladas!"
In "Rixty Minutes," Rick and Morty back the right conceptual horse and sit around watching interdimensional TV shows, such as Ball Fondlers and Showtime from a world where humans evolved from corn. Another show that they watch is a version of Garfield from the planet where Morty got his sex robot from. This version of Garfield is also mean and disrespectful to his owner Jon, but in a far more extreme way. But can you remember what his name was?
“The factory tint setting is always too high!”
They are, aren't they? You'd think the TV manufacturers would've learned by now. One of the male characters in Rick and Morty was jumping with joy when he was told he could adjust the settings of the TV however he wanted in order to watch Midnight Run (one of the greatest movies of all time, by the way, go and check it out). Apparently there's an inherent problem with the factory setting of the TV screen's tint. Who took issue with this?
“God’s turning people into insect monsters. Thank me.”
In the episode “Rick Potion No. 9,” Rick invents a potion to make people fall in love with Morty and it goes horribly wrong, turning the people of Earth into “a bunch of Cronenbergs.” This is a reference to body horror movie pioneer David Cronenberg. So, the survivors resort to killing these Cronenbergs in order to stay alive. One character is saved and says, “Thank God!” The one who saved her kind of, in a weird way, sums up why religion is stupid by saying, “God? God’s turning people into insect monsters. Thank me.” Who was it?
“Everything's black! I can't see a thing!”
In "Rixty Minutes," there's a commercial that Rick and Morty watch on interdimensional cable television in which a guy who owns an electronics store, but he isn't quite sure what the prices are, because he can't see, because his eyes are full of ants. Also, he can't feel the sensation of touch, which allows him to be set on fire without even realizing it. Somehow this man operates his own business and has gotten TV airtime for a commercial. What's his name?
“Morty! What are you doin’ to me? Five more minutes of this and I’m gonna get mad. It’s not my fault this is happening.”
Morty's teacher features in the show a lot. In "Lawnmower Dog," they enter his dreams in the style of Inception and find that he has a creepy sexual obsession deep in his mind with Summer. This came as unnerving news to Morty, of course. The teacher was also teaching a class when Morty turned into a car, and also in the alien simulation when Rick came to grab Morty and tell him that the lesson is built around getting one of his secrets. But what is the teacher's name?
“In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.”
One of Rick's best friends is a bird-based being from another planet, where "bird culture" reigns supreme. He pointed out the error in Morty's behavior in terms of "bird culture," which also happens to be what we consider it in human culture. Rick cares for this guy like he cares for nobody else (except possibly Morty). He showed one of his very few moments of genuine emotion when he was killed by his bride, who revealed herself at their wedding reception to be an undercover intergalactic federal agent.
“Let me out! Let me out! This is not a dance!”
In the season 2 episode "Big Trouble in Little Sanchez," Rick transfers himself into the consciousness of a teenage version of himself in order to help Morty and Summer fight their gym coach, Coach Feratu, who is a deadly vampire. However, he stays in the body and it starts to slowly kill him. The real Rick is crying out to be saved, but it's too subtle for anyone to notice, including this catchy song. But what did he go by as a teenager?
“What is my purpose?”
At the breakfast table once, Rick crafted an advanced little robot simply to get something from the other side of the table that he couldn't reach. The robot performs this task and then realizes that's the whole point of its existence, at which point it lets out an exasperated, "Oh my God," to which Rick responds, "Welcome to the club." So sad. Anyway, what is the name of the robot who discovered the harsh realities of life and won our sympathy?
“My life has been a lie! God is dead! The government's lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! ”
As Rick has promised us in the season 3 premiere and trailer of Rick and Morty, this year we’re going to be treated to the darkest season of the show yet. But that’s not to say that it wasn’t dark before the third season. The first and second seasons contain some of the darkest moments ever to hit television screens, even considering the dark age of TV we’re currently living in. But who gave us this dark and disturbing line back in season 1?
“Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!”
During one of his madcap scientific experiments, Rick created a hybrid of one of the greatest and noblest men in history and one of the worst and most evil men in history. His aim was to create someone who was truly neutral in their morals and their politics. Instead, what resulted was an annoying dude who spoils the party in season 1's "Ricksy Business" and ends up dead. Still, he's a great character with a funny name. But what is it?
“It’s like the N-word and the C-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.”
Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon are not afraid to use bad language in their show. The FCC and all those parent groups that hate Family Guy might not like it, but screw that, it’s Adult Swim. They should be able to say whatever the hell they want, because that’s their right as Americans, and they make full use of that right. But which interdimensional traveller used this quote to describe the bad slur you shouldn’t use in front of a Trafleforcian?
“Weddings are basically funerals with cake.”
The episodes of Rick and Morty don’t depict a lot of weddings, but the one they did depict was a heck of an important one. It rounded out season 2. The Smith family became wanted fugitives, Summer’s high school friend Tammy ended up revealing herself to be an intergalactic federal agent, and Birdperson was killed in the cross-fire of a feds v. outlaws shootout. One of the Smith family didn’t want to go to the wedding, because they resent marriage. Who was it?
“My function is to keep Summer safe, not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked about, like, the general vibe and stuff.”
In the season 2 episode "The Ricks Must Be Crazy," Rick and Morty leave Summer to go on one of their wacky interdimensional adventures through time and space. Rick leaves Summer's safety in the hands of one of his belongings, which uses brutal murder and harrowing psychological manipulation to keep her safe. One of these methods involves using a cop's dead son to get him to call a ceasefire. Then it gives her this sass when she questions its methods. But which of his belongings said this?
“Calling me Gearhead is like calling a Chinese person Asia face!”
Rick and Morty often plays on racism. The writers of the show can masterfully use races and species that they themselves have created in order to satirize racism and get away with jokes that they might not do if they were confined to just Earth. It's fine to make a glip-glop joke or two, because although we know it's an offensive word in their world, it's not offending anyone here that we know of. So, who does Rick refer to as Gearhead that he objects to?
“That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.”
In the season 2 episode “The Ricks Must Be Crazy,” Rick reveals his car battery to be powered by a tiny species that lives inside it, who have built a whole civilization around generating power. Their ‘alien overlord’ Rick set it up for them under the guise of giving them the chance to lead prosperous and fulfilling lives. However, he’s really using most of their energy to power his car. But which of the Smith family made the slavery comparison when he explained it to them?
“Would you like to ride the bone train?”
John Oliver, the guy from Dan Harmon's other show Community and now the host of HBO's satirical show Last Week Tonight, once guest starred on Rick and Morty. He played the scientist in charge of Rick's theme park inside a homeless man's body in the episode "Anatomy Park." He ended up sacrificing himself because it was all his fault they were in danger in the first place. He also dragged out this bit, confusing Morty who was terrified by the danger.
“I communicate through what you call ‘Jessica’s feet’ – no, wait, ‘telepathy.’”
In the episode "Mortynight Run," Rick and Morty have a morality crisis. Morty objects to Rick selling a gun to an assassin, so he rescues the assassin's target, but later finds out that the target is ridiculously powerful and a huge risk to humanity's fate. Also, the ensuing adventure leads to hundreds of lives being needlessly lost, mostly at the hands of the genocidal maniac who Morty saved. But what name did Rick give to the gaseous being who uttered this quote to Morty?
“I’ll buy those boobies for 25 schmeckles.”
Schmeckles is just another of the weird, out of this world currencies that get exchanged during Rick and Morty’s many intergalactic (and sometimes interdimensional) travels. One weird little one-shot background character popped in during the episode “Meeseeks and Destroy,” when Morty was leading the adventure for once. The pair of them ended up in a bar, where they were accosted by a woman with big boobies who was looking to sell them. But who was the guy offering to buy them?
“Now, be my footstool, Snuffles.”
The episode “Lawnmower Dog” was from early on in season 1, before Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon started titling all the episodes of the show (or at least the large majority of them) by rehashing movie titles with the name Rick or Morty wedged into it, I’m Alan Partridge-style. In it, Rick makes the family dog Snuffles super smart, so it can understand what they ask him to do. Jerry was impressed: “This is what I’m talking about. This is a dog.” But who was enough of a jerk to make the dog be their footstool?
“Take your attitude to the men’s section of K-Mart, because you need to cut me some slack.”
The characters of Rick and Morty will often throw an insult – or, as Jerry calls it, “an urban diss” – or two at one another. Rick in particular likes to insult people. Not just gear people and super intelligent gaseous beings (or, as Rick calls them, farts), but his family and closest friends, too. Rick has this strange way of making Jerry and Morty’s names sound like insults, just by the emphatic way he says them. Beth shoots out insult upon insult too, generally aimed at her husband Jerry. But who delivered this classic K-Mart zing?