Who Said It: Ron Swanson From Parks And Rec Or Dwight Schrute From The Office
- by Kali Pye
- – on
- in Movies and TV
Parks and Rec and The Office are two of the best sitcoms of this century! Both mockumentaries star amazing casts and are timeless in their appeal! Mockumentary meaning that its filmed as if the crew is being interviewed or filmed for a documentary series. The Office’s show is supposed to focus on on the paper industry and Parks and Rec’s is on municipal government. Both shows have since ended but they still can be binge-watched over and over again.
Parks and Rec is about Leslie Knope, the director of Pawnee’s Parks and Recreation department. The show follows her and her co-worker’s antics to fill a pit that caused injuries to Pawnee citizens and follows them through their trials and tribulations. The Office is set in Scranton, Pennsylvania and follows the people who work at the paper company Dunder Mifflin. The first few seasons focus mainly on Michael Scott, the immature but hilarious boss but as the seasons progress, the series focuses on all of the characters as a whole.
Ron and Dwight are similar in a few different ways. Ron Swanson is a man’s man. He loves being burly, woodwork and meat. Dwight Schrute is a farmer who enjoys the simpler things in life, and beets.
It's up to the real fans to tell the difference between these two big personalities!
"Who is Justice Beaver?"
This quote comes from an episode where this character and their co-worker are conspiring to get rid of another co-worker who is problematic and needs to have revenge exacted on them. The nice co-worker says they can pretend to be tour managers for Justin Bieber and suggest that the bad co-worker leaves their company, to which this character asks, "Who is Justice Beaver?" prompting the nice co-worker to reply sarcastically that Justice Beaver is a crime fighting beaver. This character is well known for not being up on the current pop culture references as he chooses to stay off the grid.
"I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors."
Both Dwight and Ron are suspicious of others. Ron's afraid of the internet and the location services that it offers. Going extremely far to make sure that he is off the grid and that no one can find him. To the extent that he has a secret cabin that should he need to flee, he can. Dwight on the other hand is more suspicious of conspiracy theories and spies, as seen by jokes made by Jim about the secret service and Dwight having his own end-of-the-world bunker, which is apparently stocked with food and he refuses to share it with coworkers.
"There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk."
Any viewer of both Parks and Rec and The Office know that Dwight and Ron are very particular about their food. Ron loves a good steak and Dwight runs his own beet farm. He loves to talk about growing up on his farm and how he really prefers to eat organically from his farm as evidenced by him talking about to Robert California about exotic meats. As for Ron, Ron loves animal products, milk, eggs, meat, all of it! His only enemy is vegetables, anything green and he loathes vegans. So which one of these food connoisseurs said this quote?
"I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures."
From watching the show, its pretty obvious that masculinity and strength is important to both Ron and Dwight. Ron thinks men should be masculine and chop wood and work hard to take care of his family. This attitude is softened as the show challenges his perceptions of gender roles in the series but it still rings true for him personally. Dwight doesn't like to be seen as weak. He likes to come off as the alpha male. Like Ron, he enjoys hunting, acting almost primal like. So which of this pair believes that luck is something made for the weak?
"How would I describe myself? Three words: hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable."
Both Ron and Dwight are characters that come off as very secure and confident with who they are as people. In The Office, its seen that Dwight is a bit insecure about the fact that he isn't Regional Manager, but he also takes great pride in being Assistant Regional Manager (not Assistant to). Ron is also like this, he doesn't like people getting close to him and he doesn't like to talk to others about emotions because he's comfortable with who he is and what he's about. So who said this line? All are fitting characters for both of these characters!
"Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars."
Just like with skim milk, this character has pretty particular feelings about the dairy products that he eats. It seems as if this character is not at all interested in what would be considered a more 'trendy' food item and just prefers the good old full-fat versions that he's used to. This character isn't a bit fan of diets, or low-fat versions of things as he believes that food is supposed to be eaten without lots of artificial products in it that make it 'healthier', because in reality those foods can be just as bad as the full-fat versions, so why bother?
"People underestimate the power of nostalgia. Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses, second only to the neck."
Both Dwight and Ron are big fans of showing off their strength. Dwight has a passion for karate and even invites his sensei to the office for his black belt ceremony, and Ron is an avid sleep-fighter (he claims he always wins matches). As mentioned neither likes being shown in a light that could have them perceived as being weak. They both like to be considered a mans man, who can take care of their families and provide for them. Dwight with his beets and knowledge of bears, and Ron with his survival skills and his ability to disappear at the drop of a hat.
"Child labor laws are ruining this country."
Both Ron and Dwight are an avid fan of working to support themselves and working from a young age. Dwight worked on the farm as a child and when Ron was a child, he worked at a sheet metal factory and was running the floor at the age of nine years old. While we're sure neither would go and employ children in a dangerous situation or work the children hard, both believe that being employed as children gave them character and a strong work ethic. So which work loving individual believes that children should be able to work and earn money?
"I'm not interested in caring about people."
As mentioned, both Dwight and Ron value their privacy and solitude. Dwight lives far out on his beet farm with his cousin Mose and Ron generally leaves his location as undisclosed. Neither are what could be considered as social people. Dwight is only social when he believes it can get him a better relationship with Michael or a promotion, as seen in the Dinner Party episode. Ron would just prefer to be alone or with his immediate family. So realistically, neither would be particularly interested in caring about people or socializing. But only one character said this infamous anti-social quote.
"When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life."
Both Ron and Dwight are in touch with their primal instincts. In this scene, this character is talking about how they had smiling because in the primate world, baring ones teeth is shown to be a sign of submission, so when he sees people that are smiling at him, he sees it as a chimpanzee who is essentially submitting himself and doesn't want to pose a threat. Out of these two kooky characters, who would be the one to make this statement? Did it come from Dwight, the very possible Nat Geo fan, or Ron the avid nature and survivalist?
"Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's."
Both Ron and Dwight are known for making slightly outlandish claims throughout the shows. Whether they're true or not is more of a mystery, but the claims are outlandish nonetheless. This quote for example could be considered one of these claims because it doesn't make sense that feelings would regenerate any faster than anyone else's. Of course this claim was most likely used to make themselves look better or more powerful than their co-workers/subordinates. So who did this quote come from? Did it come from Dwight trying to make himself look better, or Ron trying to convince people he wasn't hurt by their words.
" Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon."
Both Dwight and Ron love to come off as mens men. Because of this they both have issues with letting themselves have feelings or show feelings in front of people they want to appear manly in front of. Of course showing emotions and manliness have nothing to do with each other, but these characters are supposed to almost be stereotypes and are supposed to be characters with very traditional values. As shown when Dwight courts Esther and follows Schrute family tradition and while Ron might seem a bit more headstrong, his views seem to fit life's stereotype of the nuclear household.
"Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself?"
This is a pretty age-old debate on whether workers should be tipped for jobs that people could easily do themselves or jobs that aren't that hard. This comes into question when this characters coworkers order pizza and this character doesn't want to tip the pizza boy as he feels the pizza boy didn't do anything extraordinary and that he could have delivered the pizza's himself. This character does go on to mention that the only person he tips is his doctor because he is unable to give himself medical exams and therefore believes the doctor should receive a tip for his work.
"Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you don't hear about is the many people they push further out to sea. Dolphins aren't smart. They just like pushing things."
Both characters have quite the passion for animals and both seem to known quite interesting facts about random things. This dolphin fact comes from what makes dolphin's happy to which this character talks about how dolphins like pushing things while delivering this hilarious anecdote about the intelligence of dolphins. This quote could come from Dwight and his seemingly unending fountain of useless facts, or it could be coming from Ron and it could be his explanation for why he doesn't trust dolphins. I doubt either of these men believe that dolphins are heroes, but at least they're hopefully mostly pushing people to shore!
"There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut."
Both men hold high regards to people of authority. Dwight has an interest as the Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff's deputy, so he's definitely one to respect authority. Ron is the leader of the Pawnee Rangers so he has an affinity for uniform and having things looking proper. So which one of these men believes that the only acceptable haircuts are ones that are short, clean and neat? While neither really has these haircuts, they both have short haircuts that could technically by styled to fit the haircuts mentioned and both have haircuts that are neat and well taken care of.
"Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms."
While neither have outright said they believe that men are stronger than women, they both certainly imply it throughout the seasons. In the end, they do both come to the realization that women are just as strong as men are and can even be stronger than men in some situations. Except, it does take both characters a bit of time to realize that women aren't as weak as they think. This quote talks about the "defects" in women, one being an emotional one and the other being a physical one. Which character was the one to make this ridiculous claim?
"There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger."
Motivation is a great thing to have, if one has it. If not, it can be quite difficult to conjure up to get tasks completed. In this episode, this character is trying to get his co-workers to go and complete some tasks that have to be down, but his co-workers protest. In response, he gives them motivation to complete said tasks by offering them food once the task is completed. It doesn't take too long for the co-workers to want the incentive and work hard to get their jobs done. This quote might come off a bit harsh, but food is a great motivator.
"Studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work."
While neither of these characters really seem interested in office gossip, its possible that this character just really wanted to feel involved in the going ons of the daily office happenings. Office gossip is something thats pretty inevitable. If people are brought together to work towards a common objective, people are going to disagree and talk about it behind their backs. However, not all gossip is negative as seen in the episode where Michael Scott tries to spread the rumor that he's an Abercrombie model, but gossip does definitely bring people together which might leave this character feeling left out.
"It's always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain."
In both shows, Ron and Dwight have been known for being a bit lacking in trusting relationships with their co-workers. Both tend to keep to themselves unless necessary as they are both men who are interested in having their own life stay private. One way to avoid having people pry into their lives is by having their co-workers feel intimidated by them. If their co-workers believe that they're someone who is tough and could pose problems if messed with, they are less likely go pry into their lives or try and cause problems for them, so its good to show that they can push through great amounts of pain.
"All you need is love? False. The four basic human necessities are air, water, food and shelter."
Realistically, this quote is correct. All humans need to survive are air, water, food and shelter. However, with just these things life would get pretty lonely. Humans are social creatures who generally enjoy the company of others who share the same interest. This quote was most likely in response to getting rejected to try and convince themselves that they don't need a relationship in order to make themselves happy. Not everyone does need a relationship, some prefer friendship over romance but socialization with loved ones is generally something key to feeling confident, happy and satisfied with oneself and one's life!
"Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone."
Sometimes everyone needs their moment alone, especially after a big event. Big events or family events can be very daunting and exhausting. It can feel really great to just return home, kick back and watch some tv. Thats what this character is going for. After putting a lot of work into an event, they want to celebrate by spending some time on their own. It's an introverts dream! Even an extrovert will need some time to be alone so that they can recharge or get some rest before going back out into the big stressful world. This character knows whats right!
"I just want to be friends plus a little extra, also I love you."
There comes a time in a person's life that they meet that person. Whether its romantic, or platonic, this person comes into one's life to change it for the better. They can come when one is looking for a special companion or they can take one by surprise. The most important thing is that they exist at all. Everyone has this person at some point in their life, it just takes time to meet them. But once someone has met their person, they click instantly and its hard to imagine how life would be without that friend or romantic partner!
"My first ex-wife's name is Tammy. My second ex-wife's name is Tammy. My Mom's name is Tamara...she goes by Tammy."
This character seems to have a thing for women named Tammy. He was married to two Tammy's and his mother goes by Tammy. This one should be pretty obvious, but just incase it isn't here are a few more hints. This character has a tumultuous relationship with all of the women in his life. His relationships with both of his ex-wives are not good ones. They all tend to bring out the worst in each other but also find themselves to be compatible in other ways. So they may find themselves drawn back to each other but it isn't long before they're exes again.
"I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food."
This one may be a bit more difficult. As mentioned in previous posts, both men are pretty simple. They both share pretty traditional values, enjoy the more rustic things in life and one could say both fit into these loves. However, theres one character who is a bit more passionate about dark-haired women and breakfast foods than the other. So much so that this character has pictures of a hearty breakfast and pictures of dark-haired women hanging on the walls of his office to keep him reminded of what the important things are to him in his life. Who is this?
"I bought a ticket for 'Grizzly Man' and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater but I kept waiting. That's the thing about bear attacks... they come when you least expect it."
For those who don't know, Grizzly Man is a documentary about a man who dedicates his life to grizzly bears and their lifestyles until he was unable to anymore. This character is a big fan of bears, grizzlies in particular. One of the best quotes that this character is well known for is actually a quote where he is being taunted by his co-worker. His co-worker dresses similar to him and pretends that he is this character. He then utters the famous lines, "bears eat beets. bears. beets. battlestar galactica", meaning those are this character's most talked about interests around the office.
"It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it."
Nature truly is one of the most beautiful things that the world has to offer. Most of the wonders of the world are natural monuments that draw visitors in every year to take in just how incredible they are and how mother nature truly has done her best. This character is an avid outdoorsman who isn't really a big fan of art. He believes that instead of looking at a picture of something, one should go out and view it in person. While most wish they could do this, it isn't always financially smart. A nice park can be a nice cheap alternative though!
“Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.”
Stress can be found in all areas of the workplace. From CEOs to the people who work minimum wage jobs, each position comes with their own degree of stress. This character however believes that he is never in a position where he feels stress, and that stress only comes when he feels that he has to get the approval of people he deems to be inferior to himself. This character believes that the only people he should need to seek approval from are the people who work above him, and believes that they would be satisfied with all of his hard work.
"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard."
Almost everybody has heard the age old expression that if one gives a man a fish, he will eat for a day, but if one teaches him to fish then he will eat forever as he will be self-sufficient. This character believes that it should be every man for himself. He believes that people should focus on taking care of themselves and feeding themselves over others, because as he says 'fishing's not that hard'. While that statement may be true, this character really missed the mark about how that expression is meant to be about coming together to help each other.
“I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… And a panther.”
This character is quite well-known for his exaggerations. The biggest problem however, is that he firmly believes these exaggerations to be true. He can be a bit ridiculous when describing his abilities, but he's really trying to make his co-workers think that he is someone who is superior and is not someone to be messed with. This quote shows him explaining how fast he is, instead of comparing himself to a speed similar to that of a humans, he goes on to say that he is between the speeds of a snake and a panther. The panther part is obviously not true, but he can think what he'd like!
“Congratulations on your one cousin. I have seventy, each one better than the last!”
Once again this is a quote all about exaggeration. Fortunately, both of these characters have been known to be a bit ridiculous when it comes their claims of their abilities, but one man is a bit sillier than the other. This character prides himself on his massive family. His family comes up quite a bit on the show, particularly the strange and anti-social cousin that he lives with. It is well-known in the series that this character has a massive family as he seems to pull out cousins left and right. It's hard to believe that they're all as superb as he says, considering his cousin Mose.
"My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese."
Both characters talk about their jobs and how they feel that their jobs aren't being done correctly many times throughout this show, but this character complains the most. This character is a firm believer on getting as little accomplished for his workplace as possible. Many times throughout the series, he compares his employer's work ethics and morals to other businesses but one of his greatest comparisons is the children's chain Chuck E. Cheese. This character would love the profits and privatization that comes along with the Chuck E. Cheese franchise and sincerely wishes that his employers would consider doing the same.
"I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."
Almost every employee in history has had co-workers they don't get along with. It could be because of a disagreement, or they just simply don't mesh as people and that's okay! As long as co-workers can get along and work cohesively, then everything is fine. This character actually prefers to not socially interact with his co-workers at all as he believes it helps them to work better together. It can be a bit understandable that sometimes it is better to just work alongside people and not be their friend, but it seems a bit extreme to not speak to them at all.
“And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t.”
This character takes law enforcement very seriously. So serious that he volunteers his time in his community to act as an additional law enforcement resource. This quotes comes from this character speaking about his responsibilities and how the job is so important to him that nothing could compromise his work, not even friends. He then continues on to inform his co-workers that the job hasn't helped in making him any friends. The character does try and exercise his powers a few times in the show, attempting to make citizen arrests, but his attempts usually go unanswered and tend to be empty threats.
"When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them."
This character is very big on privacy. He likes to keep to himself. The age old 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' does not apply to this character. He would prefer to keep everyone far away from him, especially on a personal level. He doesn't really enjoy socializing. This quote is quite similar to the previous quote of working alongside someone for years, only to never learn their name. This character shares teh same sentiment that theres no need to get close to the people that one works with as this character prefers a life of pure solitude.
"My perfect Valentine's day? I'm at home, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over six months ago."
Valentines Day is the day for lovers and is very important to a lot of people, especially to those who are in relationships. Its a time for lovers to express how much they care for each other and show it using gifts, dates, etc. This character prefers to spend his Valentines Day at home alone, selling the reservations he made early to couples who weren't lucky enough to get reservations on time, or couples who waited until the last minute to try and book them. It's an effective way to make money, but he really should leave Valentines Day to people who enjoy it.
"You had me at ‘Meat Tornado.’"
It's well known to both Parks and Recreation fans and The Office fans that Dwight and Ron are big carnivores. Ron is well known for his love of a good cooked steak, and the famous scene where he orders an entire deli meat platter to eat by himself. Dwight is known for his scene where he sells goat meat and the episode where he celebrates Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas with the Hog Maw. So which one of these fellows was the one to be extremely intrigued by the 'meat tornado'? Was it Ron, the carnivorous connoisseur or Dwight, the man who locally sources his meat?
"Are you going to tell a man that he can’t fart in his own car?"
Realistically, if one owns something they have the right to fart in it. However, out of common courtesy its best for one to try and avoid passing gas while in the presence of others. This character feels as though this courtesy shouldn't apply to one if they're in something that is their own possession, such as their house or car. This character's peers and co-workers most likely don't appreciate that they choose to not follow along with this social norm. This is actually quite uncharacteristic of this character. He doesn't seem like someone who would oppose this rule as he is reserved.
"When I eat, it is the food that is scared."
It is common knowledge now that both of these characters can come off as aggressive and as very stereotypically masculine. They like to know that their peers and especially their subordinates fear them. This quote comes from someone suggesting that this character is scared to eat a particular food, to which this character replies in an angry tone that the food is the one who should be scared not the other way around. This quote is said in a possible last ditch effort to come off as manly as possible and as if he is not afraid when in actuality he might be.
"I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me."
Confidence is something that neither Ron nor Dwight are lacking in. Both believe themselves to be very competent men who are good at what they do. This quote exemplifies that. This character believes that he can overcome any challenge that comes up to him, and that he isn't afraid of being challenged. This confidence is certainly something to be envious of, however it can also come from a bit of blissful ignorance as everyone has their weaknesses, despite these men not wanting to admit to either of them. Life's challenges definitely have their work cut out for them with these two!
"I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief."
This character has no respect for public servants, despite technically being one. He dislikes dealing with his local government and will go out of his way to make sure that they don't accomplish anything. This reason is why him and his secretary get along so well, as she is lazy and books meetings and events incorrectly just so this character doesn't have to deal with them. When working with contractors, this character has developed quite the stereotype for them. We're not sure if this is something thats derived from a bad past experience, but his distaste for contractors is quite evident!
"Yes. I have decided to shun him for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence."
The Amish community is something that this character is very familiar with. He doesn't classify himself as Amish, but he is a big fan of their work and its very possible that members of his family could be part of the Amish community. This character respects the Amish lifestyle so much that he often incorporates their techniques, such as the silence one, into his life. This quote comes from this character being frustrated with a co-worker of his who is quite chatty. He knows that avoiding him and silence would really irritate him, so he takes the Amish way of doing things.
"You couldn't handle my undivided attention."
This quote is another quote where viewers see examples of this character's sass. The sassiness seems to come from this character when he feels that whoever is speaking isn't worth his time. This quote comes from a scene where there is a meeting and this character is tired of being talked down to and bossed around, so when the speaker asks for his undivided attention, he retorts that his undivided attention isn't something that this individual could handle. Does this quote come from an angered Dwight or a frustrated Ron? It sounds like something both characters might say when annoyed.
"Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards."
This character believes that almost everything is something caused by corporations to get more money from consumers or tax-payers. Birthdays are apparently one of them. However, this can easily be proven false as birthdays have been celebrated for hundreds of years and the Hallmark company has only been around since 1910 when it was started by teenager J.C. Hall. (About Hallmark) While it is one of the biggest greeting card companies in the world, it's a bit ridiculous to think that this ancient tradition was created by a US company solely for the purpose of profiting off of their customers.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow."
One of the most uncomfortable common ailments among people is eating too much. After eating too much, people are left feeling sleepy and sluggish and generally don't want to do much else than sit around and let their food digest. It seems that this character did the same. It's well known that both characters love meat, so which character was the one to eat too much bone marrow and end up with a stomach ache? It could be Dwight after eating too much goat, or it could be Ron after having a nice big breakfast at J.J.'s Diner. Who was it?
"Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable."
This character is someone who isn't a big fan of anything that could be considered healthy, instead of enjoying something healthy like salmon or cod this character prefers to enjoy some nice red meat for dinner...or breakfast or lunch. Really, this character will eat red meat for any meal of the day and probably even for snacks if he could. Even though meat and fish both provide protein in the food pyramid, this character would rather classify fish as a vegetable because of its health benefits. So which character considers fish a vegetable? Is it Dwight Schrute or Ron Swanson?