The quotable stars of both of Matt Groening's shows, The Simpsons and Futurama, have been characterized as two of the dumbest people on or off the planet. First of all, Homer Simpson is so stupid and reckless that it’s a serious concern (and veritable mystery) that he’s the sole provider for a family of five, and a wonder to everyone (especially Frank Grimes) how he managed to bag a beautiful wife and raise three children.
Phillip J Fry happens to be the worst and somehow best person to have found himself frozen for 1000 years. The Planet Express crew of the 30th century have only Fry to show them what we were like, but he's not exactly the pinnacle of culture. Sometimes his idiocy is as simple as forgetting his own name (da Vinci is a hard name to remember), but sometimes it’s alarming, like becoming his own grandfather.
Homer and Fry are so stupid that it can be hard to distinguish their madness from each other. Still, they both somehow manage to use their distinct lack of mental capacity and unique reasoning methods to save the day, or at least salvage what's left of a bad situation. Can you tell which of them uttered these quotes?
“Operator! Give me the number for 911!”
Homer and Fry’s antics often require intervention from the cops. In The Simpsons, the cops – Chief Wiggum, Lou, and Eddie – are featured prominently, and they’re very familiar with Homer and his past criminal record. Meanwhile, Futurama’s cops Officer Smith (Smitty) and his robot partner URL for the New New York Police Department are often shown using police brutality against perps with their lightsaber-esque futuristic nightsticks. But which of them called the operator to ask for the number for 911?
“Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?”
Homer and Fry have a few more things in common besides being stupid. For starters, their creator Matt Groening got their names from his father, Homer Philip Groening. Fry is the only Futurama character to get his name from Groening’s family, since he expended the rest of them – Marge, Lisa, and Maggie – on naming the Simpson family back in the late ‘80s. But they also have their love of fun and their penchant for being caught naked in common. So, whose quote is this?
“It used to be milk and, well, times makes fools of us all.”
This quote comes after someone finds yogurt in the character’s hat and asks how it got there. He explains that it was formerly milk and one thing led to another and it turned into yogurt. Both Fry and Homer have both got checkered histories with food. Homer went to the Kwik-E-Mart and asked Apu for a six-pack of Skittlebrau (the beer that has Skittles floating on the top that Apu believes Homer made up in a dream). And not to mention the time Fry put metal in the ship’s microwave during a supernova explosion and sent them back in time. Anyway, which of them said this?
“I’m in no condition to drive. Wait, I shouldn’t listen to myself – I’m drunk!”
Another thing that Philip J. Fry and Homer Simpson have in common besides being idiots is that they both love beer. There’s probably a correlation there, but Fry and Homer’s stupidity is a special brand, and it can’t be entirely down to alcohol. Homer calls alcohol “the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” Fry was drinking beer when he watched the season finale of Futurama’s answer to Ally McBeal, Single Female Lawyer. He interrupted the broadcast by spilling his booze on the transmitter. They’re both reckless drinkers, but which of them said this?
“I’m having one of those things. You know, a headache with pictures.”
Was there ever a more beautiful description of an idea than this one? That’s what he’s referring to when he says, “a headache with pictures.” Fortunately, the person he’s talking to can understand the method to this character’s madness and replies, “An idea?” And the character trying to think of the word for “one of those things” is grateful to have had it perfectly articulated. Both Fry and Homer often struggle with words – even the most basic in the English language – so which of them said this?
“No, I’m doesn’t.”
Both Fry and Homer are heavy drinkers, spending pretty much all of their time sitting on the couch, swilling beer, and watching TV. They’ve also seen the effects it has had on their brain cells, as they’ve both gone from very stupid to ridiculously stupid. One time, someone told either Fry or Homer that alcohol makes you stupid, and this was their response. Neither of these characters are particularly adept at properly using English grammar, so which of them said this quote?
“With $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!”
There’s a lot wrong with this quote, logically. Right off the bat, no one would ever be a millionaire with $10,000, since it’s $990,000 shy of $1 million, but Fry and Homer are the kind of fools who get confused in this regard. Whoever said this quote is using the word ‘millionaire’ to mean someone who is very rich, but even with $10,000, that wouldn’t really be the case. And then comes the second comic gut punch, the idea that you can buy love. Who said this?
“What he says is true because it’s in all caps. Are you gonna argue with caps?”
This quote sums up exactly how President Donald Trump thinks the American people are responding to his angry all caps tweets. The way that the person this character is talking to responds to this asinine comment sums up how people are actually responding to Trump’s tweets. They see no sense in it: “Why does that make it right?” she asks. Our lovably dumb character explains, “He took the time to press the shift key. I think he knows what he’s talking about.”
“Shut up and take my money!”
Both Fry and Homer are suckers for American consumerism. They’re a salesman’s dream. Fry has his dreams invaded by commercials. He’s also constantly sucking on Slurm, the biggest chemical-filled corporate soda of the 30th century, and when they did a contest, he fell for the scam and bought as many cans of Slurm as he could afford. Meanwhile, Homer hears teleshopping phrases like “For a limited time only...” and “Supply is limited,” and it sways his decision to buy – that’s the whole reason they say those things! Anyway, which of them summed up consumerism with this quote?
“I’ll have you know I bedazzle my own underpants.”
Fry and Homer often make grand, “I’ll have you know...” statements that aren’t as impressive as they think they are, because they’re foolish and the people around them frequently call them on. Also, from a behind the scenes point of view, it’s a good way for comedy writers to set up a joke. We know that both Fry and Homer wear tighty whities, but which of them is vain enough to not only get theirs bedazzled, but to actually go out of their way to do it themselves?
“But ice cream cake!”
This quote came in response to, “But you’re going to kill us all!” It’s a reasonable counter-argument. “But ice cream cake!” It’s the kind of thing an idiot like Fry or Homer would think was a Sophie’s Choice-esque situation when, of course, it’s far from it. They’ve both come close to ending the world a few times. Fry often dooms the Earth (and sometimes other planets) with his idiocy during his intergalactic adventures with the Planet Express crew, and Homer has a close shave with a nuclear holocaust every day that he bothers to go into work. But which of them said this?
“Have you seen my sombrero?”
Both Fry and Homer have shown an interest in Mexican culture, besides the obvious one, of course: their love for nachos. Well, all Mexican food: tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas etc. They’re a pair of foodies – they love all foods. Homer has a fake Mexican ID where he’s wearing a sombrero, has a handlebar mustache, and his name has been changed to Homer Sanchez. Fry’s family on his father’s side is from New Mexico, which isn’t strictly Mexico, but it’s close enough. So, which of our lovable fools said this?
“My pudding is trapped forever.”
Obviously, Fry and Homer are not very bright guys. They see the world in a skewed way that can actually be quite astounding sometimes to viewers of The Simpsons and Futurama. They take something as simple as snapping the loop off of a tin can without getting the lid fully off to mean that their poor pudding is now lost for all eternity, trapped and unattainable at the bottom of a broken can. This quote has probably been said by both of them, either on or off screen, but which of them said it on screen?
“You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.”
Whether the show is set in the 20th century or the 30th century, phones are just as popular. The Simpson family’s phone is a corded landline, whereas the phones of the future that Fry is trying to wrap his head around and his friends Leela, Bender, Amy, and the rest of the Planet Express crew have grown up with and gotten used to are far more intricate and technologically advanced. But the principles of calling your friends, getting cold-called by telemarketers etc. is timeless. Obviously wearing a towel doesn’t affect your hearing. Who thought it did?
“People said I was dumb, but I proved them.”
A lot of people would say that Homer and Fry are dumb. Some of the fans of their shows tune in specifically because of how dumb they are, because it’s entertaining to watch. This quote is so perfect, because it sums up both characters in nine words. They’re so proudly stupid and delusional. And it’s worded brilliantly. Obviously the way this character says this sentence actually proves the people who called them dumb right, but they don’t admit that they’re proving them right. They just ambiguously say, “I proved them.” Who said it?
“Well, I may not have brain smarts, but at least I have street smarts.”
It’s fair to say that neither Fry nor Homer have any kind of smarts. They certainly don’t have brain smarts, and as shown by Homer’s time as a bounty hunter and the many times he’s been scammed, beaten up, kidnapped, or almost killed, he doesn’t have any street smarts. And as shown by the disgusting egg salad sandwich that Fry ate at an intergalactic gas station, neither does he. But one of them said this quote and then stepped out into the street and got hit by a bus. Who was it?
“Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
Both Homer and Fry are shown to have different levels of empathy. There are people they care about and people they don’t care about. Homer cares deeply about his wife Marge and his kids Bart (even though he hardly ever shows it), Lisa, and Maggie. However, he’s shown not to care in the slightest about the likes of Flanders and his father, Abraham. Fry, on the other hand, loves Leela more than he loves life itself, but he doesn’t really care much for anyone else. So, who said this?
“Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.”
Homer and Fry don’t make much of a splash at their respective workplaces. Homer is an occupational hazard unto himself down at the nuclear plant, and Fry causes way more problems than he fixes at Planet Express. In an episode of one of their shows, one of them got promoted as a foil for being a patsy, but they think it’s real. They believe they were hired because of their “motivational skills,” providing this explanation of what those motivational skills entail exactly. Which character was this delusional?
“I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!”
Religion is portrayed a lot on The Simpsons, with Reverend Lovejoy boring churchgoers every week. The religion of The Simpsons is generally Protestant Christian, albeit with Lisa being a Buddhist and Homer confusing Jesus with Jeebus. But did he confuse God with Superman? Or was it Fry, who lives in a strange future where religion has changed and evolved with science? His world contains Robotology, Robot Judaism, and The First Amalgamated Church (basically a mix of all religions, even agnosticism), so who wouldn’t get confused and turn to Superman for salvation? Whose quote is this?
“The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute...Statue of Liberty...that was our planet! You maniacs, you blew it up. Damn you! Damn you all to hell!”
The shocking plot twist at the end of Planet of the Apes baffled audiences back in the late 1960s when it was first released. It’s since been parodied by everyone from Mel Brooks to Kevin Smith, and on pretty much every comedy series on television. So, most people these days know that the planet in the movie was really Earth the whole time – except idiots like Homer and Fry. But which of them only realized it when they said this?
“Our relationship is the best thing in my life, so I’m sure I’ll enjoy talking about it with you.”
This is the most tragically naive thing anyone could ever say when their wife or girlfriend tells them that they need to talk about their relationship. It also makes it all the more difficult for the woman to tell them what they need to tell them. Homer’s marital troubles with Marge is one of the hallmarks of the show, and a plot device in pretty much half of the show’s episodes. Meanwhile, Fry’s tumultuous on and off relationship with Leela provides a lot of the story of Futurama. So, which unfortunate doofus said this quote?
“Give a little credit to our public schools.”
This quote is not in fact a shout-out to the underappreciated staff of public schools, who put their necks on the line for terrible pay and the sheer reward of educating the next generation of kids. It’s actually an ironic add-on to another character saying, “Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV.” So, was it Fry or Homer who got topical with this joke, pitting the rotting nature of children’s minds on the education provided by the public schools of America?
“I love these lazy Saturdays.”
It’s a well-known and well-documented fact that Homer and Fry are a very lazy pair of individuals. They spend all day sitting on the couch, watching TV, eating chips, and drinking beer. One time, one of them was lying back on the couch, wearing their pajamas, sipping on a beer, watching TV, and saying, “I love these lazy Saturdays,” only to be reminded by another character that it is in fact Wednesday. So, who said this quote: Fry or Homer?
“Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!”
Who was it, Homer or Fry? They were on their hands and knees, fumbling under the couch for a peanut they had dropped down there, and instead found a twenty dollar bill. He said, disappointed, “Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!” Then his brain told him “Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.” Still confused, he asked his brain, “Explain how.” So, his brain explained, “Money can be exchanged for goods and services.” And then he rejoiced. Which character was this?
“If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
Was it Homer or Fry who offered up this sage wisdom? They’re both characterized by their penchant for random get rich quick schemes that go very quickly down the pan. The lottery is basically a get rich quick scheme that the whole nation is in on. Winning the lottery doesn’t require any work; it only requires good fortune. Obviously that is hard to come by, but still, it does contradict this character’s words of advice. Who was it? Fry or Homer?