If You Think You Could Be The Batman, Take The Quiz
- by Nicholas Conley
- – on
- in Movies and TV
Batman is one of the most popular superheroes on the planet. Since 1966, there have been ten movies that featured Batman as the primary star, with films led by such varied filmmakers as Christopher Nolan, Tim Burton, Chris McKay, and Zack Snyder. On top of that, Batman has also appeared in countless TV shows, had cameo appearances in other movies, been the star of a blockbuster video game franchise, and of course, had his own comic book running perpetually since the 1940s. At the end of 2017, the Dark Knight will make the next step in his cinematic career when he stands with his fellow superheroes like Wonder Woman and Aquaman as one of the Justice League, a movie that will be the culmination of the DCEU's story so far.
Amongst all these many Batman movies, quite a few different actors have donned the cape and cowl, and all of them have brought their own unique take to the role. Some Batmen have been honorable heroes, while others have been near-psychopaths. Every Batman, while created in the same mold, is a different person altogether.
Which cinematic Batman do you most resemble? Let's look over your personality, go through some fun questions, and decide, Which Dark Knight Are You?
Your build
Hey listen, you've got no super powers, okay? None. Nilch. That means you've got only yourself to depend on, so it's probably time to hit the gym and get seriously ripped. Or do you want to do that? Let us know what sort of physical build you have.
Which archenemy seems the scariest?
You're Batman, so you're one scary mofo. But there are scarier people out there, and they like to get in costumes and terrorize Gotham. It's your job to stop these criminals... but you're going to eventually find an archenemy who really, really gets under your skin. Which of these potential archenemies sounds the most terrifying to you, on a deep, personal level?
Why did your parents die?
No, no, we don't mean HOW your parents died: we all know they got shot by a mugger in crime alley. We're talking about on a deeper level, what caused them to die? What psychological or sociological factors led to the horrible event that has shaped your life? Look at it from a macro perspective, and figure out why it is that horrible events like this happen.
How do you feel about sidekicks?
Being Batman can be a lonely job, but you have the option to make it a little less lonely, if you decide that you're willing to trust someone. Would you be willing to take on a partner, a sidekick, a friend who will fight on this mission with you? Or do you want to work alone?
How do you present your public face to the world?
No, we're not talking about when you're Batman: we know that as Batman, you try to be scary. Rather, we're talking about the way that you present your public identity to the world, your true face, when dealing with coworkers, the media, people in a gas station, and so on -- not your family members, but rather, the people who you want to keep at some distance. Do you put on a mask of friendliness?
What sort of person would you fall in love with?
Batman has had many love interests over the years, and so have you. Let's exclude Catwoman for the moment -- we all know what Catwoman is like -- and instead, let's ask which of the following sorts of person you would be most likely to fall in love with, based on their personality?
The biggest defeat you've suffered?
Just because you're the Dark Knight doesn't mean that you get to win every battle. Actually, chances are, you're going to have to understand failure, loss, and hardship. Really, you're going to have some really heavy defeats that will make you want to hang up the cowl forever. In your own life, what is the biggest defeat you've ever suffered from?
Your relationship with your adopted father figure?
We're not talking about your relationship with your actual father, but rather, your relationship with someone in your life who has assumed a fatherly role. Chances are, someone has done this in your life -- whether it's a college professor, a spouse's father, or maybe a butler -- and let us know what that relationship is like.
Your personal philosophy?
Some sort of philosophy has to be driving you to become Batman, right? Sure, it started because you wanted to avenge your parents, but you've kept at it for a long time, so you must have developed some sort of personal philosophy that guides your every action. Which of these sounds the most like something you believe?
Your emotional state?
Considering that you're the guy who lives in a cave and wears a black horned costume, the chances are that you probably have some deep seated emotional issues stemming from the loss of your parents. Tell us, which of these particular statements most accurately reflects the issues within your own life, internally?
Your athletic ability?
If you want to stop the criminals of Gotham, you probably have to keep in shape, and that means hitting the gym, doing push-ups every morning, and keeping in peak physical condition. In your own life, do you do that? Or do you figure that you'll just keep doin' what you're doin', and you'll let the body armor and grapple gun do the work for you?
Would you kill people?
Traditionally, Batman has a major rule: he never wants to kill another human being. This rule is a major part of the comic book character, and the stresses that this role creates have played a key role in many adaptations, particularly the Dark Knight trilogy. Other adaptations cast this rule aside, showing a Batman who kills people. But if YOU had to save Gotham, would you be willing to take a life?
How have the hardships in your life impacted you?
You've faced some hard times in your life. Everyone has. From the beginning of your childhood, terrible events have occurred that have shaped the overall trajectory of your life in some pretty major ways. If you were to be honest with yourself, how have tragedies in your life impacted your personality, beliefs, and functions, on an internal level?
Your age?
Hey, this is a big one, because it determines not just what kind of Batman you're going to be, but also how long you're going to be able to BE Batman. Tell us, how old are you? Or at least your approximate age, at this present moment. Pick one of the options listed below.
How did you get the skills to become who you are today?
You can't just switch on the lights in the Batcave one day and decide that you're Batman, right? How did you get your skills? What factors and training did you undergo in your life in order to become the brilliant, skilled, and interesting person that you are today?
Favorite Batman writer in the comics?
Why is this relevant, considering that we're discussing the movie versions of Batman, rather than the comics? Well, it's because every Batman movie to date has had a different comic book run as its primary inspiration, in regard to characterization, tone, themes, and so on. Pick the Batman writer that you consider your favorite.
What kind of car would you like to drive?
Vroooooooooooooom! It's time to fire up the Batmobile. You get to have, without a doubt, the coolest car of any superhero out there. Definitely a lot cooler than the Arrowmobile, that's for sure. In any case, since you get to pick what car you'd like to drive, tell us your preference.
Your best friend?
Maybe your best friend is the chief of police, or maybe it's a sidekick, but either way, you've got to have some sort of friend out there, right? Again, it gets lonely being Batman. If you do have a best friend, let us know which one of these people sounds the most like them.
Are you really a hero?
Sure, you put criminals in jail. But do you think that your nightly adventures on the streets of Gotham are truly making a difference, or that you yourself are truly the hero that you're cracked up to be? Or rather, have you lost hope in the endeavor by this point?
Your costume?
Okay, it's time to figure out what sort of costume you'd like to wear! There are a couple rules, namely that you have to have little horns on your head, you have to wear a cape, a utility belt, and you have to have some sort of bat emblem on your chest. After that, everything goes!
Your greatest fear?
You might be the creature of the night that the criminals fear, but if you want to be so scary, it probably means that you have some serious fears of your own. If the Scarecrow managed to hit you with a blast of that fear gas, what sort of terrifying fears would emerge from it? Let us know what seems the most like you.
Do you care about law and order?
As Batman, you're the opposite of that chaotic force that they call the Joker. Or are you? Gotham is on the verge of becoming a lawless slum at any minute, depending on what version of the story you follow. How much do you care about law and order?
Your secret weapon?
Aside from your costume, your wealth, and your training, we're willing to bet that there's a secret weapon you have that manages to make your life a lot easier. After all, you've got no super powers, don't forget that. Which of the following options sounds the most like something you use? Look at your own life for examples.
How do you feel about justice?
Aside from being a founding member of a team that gets called the "Justice League," as Batman, you're definitely apt to have some pretty strong views about justice. Is justice one of your most important values? Or do you care a lot more about mercy, compassion, or what have you?
What is the problem in your hometown?
There are a lot of problems going on in the world today, and many of the worst ones have filtered down to your hometown, home city, or wherever you live. If you were to pick and choose what the biggest problem going on right now was, which of the following ones sounds the most accurate?
What does your home look like?
No, we're not talking about the Batcave. With some variations, that tends to look pretty similar, mainly just being a dark cave with lots of bats and some fancy supercomputers. Rather, what we mean is your ACTUAL home, where you sleep at night: you know, your personal Wayne Manor. Which of these sounds the most like it?
What keeps you going today?
We know that what got you started down your current path was probably a bit traumatic, but today, what is it that keeps you going? What goal do you have, what belief, what personality trait ensures that you continue fighting the good (or bad) fight that you are presently?
Choose a favorite (non-Batman) movie.
Now c'mon, if we let you pick a Batman movie, it'd just be too easy! Instead, here is a list of movies that have nothing do with the Dark Knight at all. Amongst the titles listed below, pick the movie that you would consider to be your favorite.
What's the biggest threat to your city?
If you had to pick one particular threat that you deem the most dangerous to the city you love, what do you think it would be? Not so much what the most recurring threat is, no, but rather the one that would probably be the most deadly as a whole, or the one that seems to be destroying the city the most.
What's your problem with people?
Well, there's not really any particularly nice way to put it, but if you're going to be Batman instead of the Flash, it means you probably have some antisocial tendencies. If you had to pinpoint what the cause of your many social difficulties was, what do you think would most accurately describe it?
Pick a favorite Superman.
Though it took until 2016 for Batman and Superman to actually cross paths on the big screen, the two characters have a long, long relationship in the comics, which goes back many decades. Sometimes it's a strong friendship, and sometimes they are bitter enemies, but which Superman would you say is your favorite?
How do you deal with problems?
Everybody has got problems, particularly you, since you go out on the town in a crazy Bat-costume. But let's say you have some emotional and/or social problems going on in your life. What is your way of dealing with those problems? Do you talk to people?
How would your friends describe you?
You've already described yourself in extensive detail at this point, so we're pretty close to having a good idea what Batman you are. But if we asked your friends, how would THEY describe you? Which of these seems the most like something that they would say?
What would drive you off the deep end?
According to the comic book version of the Joker, all it takes is "one bad day" to make a person go crazy. Really, it usually takes a lot more than that, but what about you? If you had to pick, what do you think could finally cause you to go off the deep end for good?
How will your story probably end?
Okay, final question! You might be having a great time being Batman right now, or maybe you've having a lonely, bitter time, but either way, someday, everyone's story must come to an end. Let us know what sort of ending you would expect your story to probably come to in the end, whether you like that ending or not.
