Which Classic TV Mom Are You?

From the second they introduce us to the world, our mothers are generally amongst the most important people in our lives. The same thing is true of TV characters, which is why the medium has created dozens of highly memorable moms viewers around the world wished were their own. On the other hand, there have also been a few moms on TV we’re glad have nothing to do with us, though they do make the audience more appreciative of their own mothers by comparison.

If you happen to be a mom yourself, it’s totally possible you learned more about how to think and act around your children through TV moms than from the woman who actually raised you. Naturally, there’s a little bit of overlap, but with how often people watch TV these days, it’s arguable the average person spent more time with Carol Brady and Roseanne Conner than they did the people in their own home.

For readers who don’t have any kids yet, imagine you did when answering these questions, and you may just get a preview of the sort of mother you’d be. Those who get Florida Evans as their answer can go ahead and have kids right away, while others who resemble Bonnie Plunkett might want to think twice before taking the plunge into motherhood. In any event, take our quiz and find out which TV classic mom you are?

Question 1

Is your family wealthy?

One serious advantage that mothers on television have over the real deal is the issue of money. Even the TV shows that occasionally mention the family’s finances, any difficult rarely lasts longer than an episode or two (unless the show is in line for cancelation, an area real life doesn’t have to worry about). Unfortunately, reality doesn’t work quite like this, and how much money your family has can easily influence how you take care of your children.

Question 2

Do you cook for your kids?

In the modern era, it’s hardly a wife or mother’s “job” to ensure there’s a meal on the table every day when the kids get home from school. That said, there are plenty of mothers around the world to this day who actually enjoy feeding their kids and family. There’s nothing wrong with eschewing this practice, and it definitely doesn’t mean you love your kids any less if you order out instead of making them family dinners. It does say something about you, however, so what do you do during meal time?

Question 3

Does your family have any pets?

According to the ASPCA, 44% of American families own at least one dog, while 35% have a cat or two (or fourteen). These numbers might look a little low or a little high depending on the sort of TV you watch, as there have been eras when it looked like absolutely every family on the small screen had an extremely popular animal friend. The trend has been sagging a bit, but there are still dozens of adorable critters on TV and in homes around the country. Do you have one (or two, or fourteen)?

Question 4

Do your kids ever feel embarrassed by you?

Sometimes, kids, parents just don’t understand. Whether it’s never leaving the kid alone, constantly wiping schmutz off their face with spit, or inappropriate displays of affection, moms in particular seem to be great at embarrassing their children in highly public ways. Especially by the time they become teenagers, it’s almost impossible for a mother, or father for that matter, to avoid embarrassing their kids once in a while, but how often are you guilty of this?

Question 5

How’s your relationship with your parents?

All jokes aside about how mothers on TV crafted our lives more than the real deal, let’s face it. Those of us with moms still in our lives typically view them as pretty important, seeking that motherly advice no matter what the situation or how old we get. Nowhere is this bond more relevant than when seeking advice on parenting, as a woman’s mother would obviously be the source for her thoughts on the subject.

Question 6

How much time do you spend with your kids?

When babies are first born, many of their mothers outright refuse to ever leave their sides. Even as the kids get older, sometimes moms take great reluctance in giving their kids space to grow. Hopefully, you don’t take this trend to such extremes, and allow your children a little breathing room now and again. Maybe you don’t, though, and as long as your kids are happy with the arrangement, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Question 7

What job do your kids wish you had?

More and more women have entered the workforce these days, either to find personal fulfillment or because their family simply needed the money. This can be a good thing or a bad thing to their children, who might want mom around the house more. On the other hand, some kids probably celebrate the news their mom got a job simply because it means they’ll get to be home alone. If your kids were of that mindset, what job would they want you to have?

Question 8

How many kids do you want to have?

One would be hard pressed to find a woman happy to undergo the experience of childbirth more than once, and yet countless mothers around the world find themselves having a second kid only a few years after the first. Hell, some don’t even wait that long, nor do the ever stop the process, churning out baby after baby, year after year. Chances are you aren’t so ambitious in becoming a living baby factory, but you might be, so are you?

Question 9

Is your children’s father still in their lives?

At this point in time, it’s in no way necessary for a child to have two parents, one male, one female, both performing roles traditionally lined out for them over many generations. Society is finally aware the way things used to be doesn’t have to be the only way anymore, with plenty of single mothers raising kids just as well or even better than those who had men in their lives. Not that there aren’t also a few benefits to having a dad around. Do your kids have this positive in their lives?

Question 10

Do you approve of your children’s dates?

Speaking in clichés, it’s usually the father who freaks out about the guy his daughter brings home, but that doesn’t mean the mom is all too pleased about the boy, either. Flip around the genders in any way that applies, and the fact is, parents often have problems with the people their children date no matter what the circumstance. Do you fit the trend, or are you more relaxed about who your kids go out with?

Question 11

Have your kids ever seen you drunk?

Last time we checked, alcohol is still perfectly legal at most places in the modern world, and this holds true for mothers the same as it does for everyone else. That said, most mothers would probably try and hide their love of intoxication when the kids were around, or at least they’d do so until said children were old enough to drink themselves. Of course, not all mothers are so noble, so do you drink around your kids?

Question 12

What city would you rather live in?

When a woman makes the decision she wants to have children, one of the most important pieces of the planning process may well be deciding where those kids are going to live. This usually isn’t something women decide on their own, with either their husband or extended family offering thoughts, suggestions, and opinions along the way. If it was entirely up to you, though, which of the following cities would you choose to raise your kids?

Question 13

Can you help your kids with schoolwork?

As everyone over the age of 18 is well aware, the things we learn in high school and earlier can often disappear from our minds the second we graduate. Depending on what you go on to do for a living, this may not matter in the slightest, despite what your teachers told you. Until, that is, you have kids of your own taking those same high school classes you once went through and decide they need help. Could you give it to them?

Question 14

Do you watch movies or TV shows with your kids?

This being a quiz about mothers we see on TV, it feels appropriate to ask the mothers taking it if they ever watch TV with their kids. If not the small screen, perhaps you and your children travel to the local theater now and again to take in a major motion picture. Either way, there are only certain types of movies and shows appropriate for the whole family. Do you watch any of them together?

Question 15

Who spends more time with your kids, you or their dad?

Once again, we reiterate that it doesn’t necessarily matter in today’s world whether or not your kids spend equal time with mom and dad, nor what roles everyone is filling when they all do so. On the other hand, the parent a kid chooses to spend all their time with usually does say something about how they feel about their folks. Do your kids always rush to your side, or do they prefer hanging out with the old man?

Question 16

What type of music do you like?

Thankfully, there’s no “mom rock” equivalent to the idea of “dad rock,” if only because we’re afraid of how much Neil Sedaka it would include. Also, it’s possible in today’s world that the average mom spent the 1970s rocking out to sweet sounds of ABBA and the Bee Gees. With that sort of embarrassing past, it’s no wonder why they try to cover it up and pretend they just like whatever the kids like when driving them to school.

Question 17

What do you do for your kids when they get sick?

To many mothers, nothing is more terrifying than the thought of losing their child to some sort of illness. Of course, there’s no need to rush to these morbid conclusions every time the kid gets the sniffles, but that doesn’t stop some mothers from doing exactly that. On the other hand, some people run away from the sick regardless of how closely related to us they happen to be. What do you do?

Question 18

What style of clothing do you wear?

Ever since Saturday Night Live infamously mocked the concept, moms around the world have been avoiding “mom jeans” for less insulting styles. Well, that’s what one would expect anyway, as these unflattering pants are still shockingly prevalent in the world today. At least some moms realized how silly they looked, crafting more unique styles for themselves than the norm. What’s your style?

Question 19

Are you a neat and tidy person?

Much like how it’s totally unreasonable for a husband or kids to assume their mother will definitely be making them food every single day, there’s no reason to assume being a mother alone will turn a woman into a household maid. Mother or not, some women just can’t be bothered to clean up after themselves or others, and aside from the fact this means they live in a pigsty, there’s not really anything wrong with not wanting to clean.

Question 20

How would your kids describe you?

Simply having children hardly means the rest of the world no longer matters to a woman, but chances are, the kids matter more to most moms than anyone else. For this reason, what a mom's kids think of her is equally integral to the woman’s self-esteem. We could ask how your friends, coworkers, or random passersby seem to judge you, but none of that matters. Instead, we’ll just ask what word your kids would use to describe you.

Question 21

Who is the perfect TV dad?

No woman is an island, and the most important figure in her life if not her children is usually her romantic partner. Since we’re talking about TV moms here, that usually means TV dads, especially considering how few families on the small screen have caught up with modern times and acknowledged non-traditional households. Regardless of whether or not your own situation necessarily fits the mold, if you could have a TV dad help you raise your kids, who would it be?

Question 22

Who babysits your kids when you’re busy?

As much as some mothers wish they could be with their kids every single second of the day, this simply isn’t possible most of the time. Even when the kids are babies and require this sort of 24 hour care, life doesn’t stop simply because there are children involved, and sometimes moms need to leave the kids alone for one reason or another. You probably shouldn’t leave the kid completely alone, though, so who do you hire to watch them?

Question 23

Did having kids kill your romantic life?

No matter how some women try and hide it, having a baby changes their bodies in many, many ways. Granted, it’s entirely possible for a woman to have the biological advantages or exercising spirit that allows her to shed all the baby weight almost instantly, but not all ladies are so lucky. Others may feel their bodies never quite recovered from having a child, and their romantic life could suffer for it. Did yours?

Question 24

What kind of snacks do you make for your kids?

Forget about making the family three solid meals each and every day, because that’s a pretty impossible dream in today’s world. However, having a job and thus lacking the time to cook ornate dinners every day doesn’t mean a mom can’t patch together a snack for her kids now and again. Even if all you do is go to the store and buy the Cheetos, that’s a small part of motherhood in and of itself.

Question 25

Do you ever watch soap operas?

Since the very first soap opera hit the air, it was very obvious who the melodramatic, histrionically acted programs were targeted towards. They aren’t marketed for women in general, but rather the specific type of woman who happens to be home alone (or close to it) in the middle of the day, which for the most part means young mothers watching their babies. Just because you’re home when soaps air doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy them, though, so do you?

Question 26

What’s your favorite holiday to celebrate?

Based on every TV holiday special in history, regardless of the day in particular they happen to celebrate, the real reason holidays exist isn’t to give people days off, but to bring them closer to their families. Moms especially seem to champion this idea, with countless examples across all literature showing the greatest gift a mother can ever receive is seeing her kid come home for special occasions. What’s your favorite day to see this happen?

Question 27

Have you ever done any illegal drugs?

Back when this quiz asked if you ever consumed alcohol in front of your kids, we made sure to point out there’s not really anything wrong with that from a legal standpoint. Thankfully, most mothers are over the age of 21, and thus they’re allowed to drink all they want. When it comes to harder drugs like cocaine or heroine, though, there’s really no excuse for a mother to keep imbibing to get their jollies. You don’t do that, do you?

Question 28

What would you do to punish your kids?

The last thing any mother wants to do is punish her children, but let’s face it, sometimes the kids need to get taught a lesson. In today’s world, spankings are highly controversial, meaning moms need to get more creative in making their kids realize they did something wrong. While capital punishment of any kind is generally out of the question, what would you do to your kids if they were bad?

Question 29

What kind of shoes do you wear?

They say the shoes make the man, but most of the time, it feels like this expression is far more suited to the fairer sex. For the most part, men just wear whatever’s comfortable to them while doing their jobs, while some women can own as many as a couple hundred pairs of shoes for every occasion from work, to vacation, to the third Tuesday of every July. Hey, we don’t know how specific you are about it, and we don’t really want to know. All we need is the general type of shoe you wear.

Question 30

How much makeup do you wear?

Over a full millennium ago, ancient Egyptians invented the concept of makeup, and women around the entire world have never looked back since. It’s not just about covering up imperfections and making yourself look “conventionally beautiful,” as makeup can, well, make up a woman into the person she always wanted to be, and all it takes is a few swabs endorsed by Mary Kay. Do you appreciate the ability, or do you go au naturel?

Question 31

Where would you rather live?

In many respects, the house parents choose to a raise your family in is their own little universe, where outside forces can’t corrupt, influence, or otherwise effect their kids. Because of this, the actual home you live in can be extremely important to your outlook on the world, because like we just said, that home is a microcosm of your family’s whole existence. With this in mind, what sort of dwelling would you choose to live in?

Question 32

Who is your favorite movie star?

The mothers we see on TV are often so perfect that real men simply won’t do for them. Hell, even their TV husbands rarely seem up for the task of keeping these idyllic ladies happy, so we wouldn’t blame them for fantasizing about movie stars instead of the guy sleeping in their beds. Maybe you’re not so unlucky and you have a good man (or woman) at your side, but if not, which of these actors do you wish was there?

Question 33

Do your kids love you?

Hopefully, this one is a no brainer for most of the moms taking this quiz. Unfortunately, we know that the truth isn’t always pretty, and some moms out there have less than appreciative kids, to put it lightly. The mothers on TV have the same sort of fears any real mom does about her kids not always feeling the love. Do you harbor such worries, or are you confident your kids care about you?

Question 34

What’s the perfect Mother’s Day?

Since 1905, Americans have used one special day in May to celebrate their family matriarchs. After the original Mother’s Day was declared in the US, other countries around the world have taken the example and created their own mother-based holidays, crafting unique opinions on the best way to do so. Having been invented well after 1905, every mom on TV has had the chance to enjoy this special holiday if the writers so allowed them.

Question 35

Do/Would you like being a mom?

In the end, it all comes down to this. You just had 34 questions to think about the pros and cons of motherhood, to take the good, take the bad, mixed it up, and then have all the facts of what being a mom is all about. With all this reflection, all that’s left is to decide whether or not you thought it was worth it to have kids in the first place. Ideally, most moms will have no problem answering this question with a resounding yes, but not everyone is so lucky. Are you?

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