Which Classic TV Cop Are You?
- by Lucas Wesley
- – on
- in Movies and TV
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? No, we’re not talking about the titular cops on COPS, although the officers of the long-running Fox reality series nonetheless should strike fear into the hearts of lawbreakers everywhere. Valiant though real cops may be, however, it’s almost impossible for them to match the ethereal cool TV audiences see in the boys (and girls) in blue on the small screen.
Starting way back in the 1950s with Joe Friday on Dragnet, the police officers seen on television are often amongst the greatest investigators the world has ever seen. Not only are they almost supernaturally inquisitive, deductive, and all-around brilliant, but TV cops also have a certain comedic cadence that would make them huge hits with audiences even if they weren’t all that great at their jobs. Of course, since things are scripted, they usually are pretty good at solving crimes, as well, always able to catch the bad guys and wrap things up with a neat bow in an hour or less.
Of course, not every cop on TV can necessarily match the charisma of Jack Webb or any of the many men and women who followed in his footsteps. Then again, some benefit for it, creating more original characters by breaking the mold. To find out if you’d be one of the smooth detectives always solving the crimes or one of the bumbling buffoons getting in the way of good police work, take our quiz and find out which TV cop you are.
Are you a good cop or bad cop?
Long before cops were even on television, those within the profession created two tropes that would forever define every subsequent officer to put on the badge: the good cop and the bad cop. As the names imply, the good cop is a nice person trying to help out even the worst suspect, knowing how scary it is to even be questioned by the police. The bad cop doesn’t have any of that crap, and gets right in a suspect’s face demanding to know the truth, whether or not they deserve treatment as a hostile witness. Which one are you?
Do you have a partner?
In the real world, virtually every police officer has a partner whether they like it or not. Police procedure pretty much demands it, as a second set of eyes on the scene can often prove integral in tipping the scales when a suspect tries to lie and say one officer acted unprofessionally. TV doesn’t always perfect match reality, though, so some cops on the small screen have gotten around real life rules and regulations by choosing to work alone. Would you take this risk, or do you want someone watching your back?
Why did you become a cop?
Everyone has a different impetus when they decide to pick up the shield, yet they all have something in common: the pursuit of justice. Well, in theory anyway, as the unfortunate fact of the matter is that some cops get into the game for all the wrong reasons. Maybe it’s revenge or just a thirst for power, but the point is that some cops enter the field solely to abuse their power in one way or another. Have you entered the field with noble motives, or are you on the fast track for corruption?
Does your department respect you?
Such is the nature of cops in popular culture that more than half of them end up complete pariahs amongst their coworkers for at least a couple scenes. Unless, of course, they’re the super cop everyone in the squad comes to with all their problems, in which case the idea that anyone would cross them is completely out of the question. Both types of cop have their rightful place in entertainment, but only one deserves to serve and protect in the real world. Are you one of them?
What’s your favorite cop movie?
In addition to the literally countless TV series that have been made about the men and women of law enforcement, an equally high number of major motion films have been made about the profession that is police work. For all they have in common, comparing the cops we see on TV to those on the big screen is almost impossible, if only because TV cops ultimately have way more time to ingratiate themselves to the public. Still, a few of these movie cops were so memorable we fell in love with them in two hours or less. Which cop movie had your favorite officer?
Where would you go on vacation?
If not the most stressful profession in the world, being a police officer is certainly one of them. There’s the impending threat that an unruly suspect could end your life at any minute, and that’s if you can even find and identify them first. It’s just as possible you won’t see death coming, simply putting yourself in danger by agreeing to the task of police work. For this reason, getting a few days away from the shield can be a genuine lifesaver. Where would you go if you had the time off to truly relax?
Do you like sports?
Call it an inexplicable trope if you must, but based on what television tells us, cops simply love sports. Perhaps it’s because of the cliché suggesting baseball and apple pie are the two utmost paragons of Americana, a concept that officers serving in the US of A are indirectly upholding each time they pick up the shield. Whatever the case, police work and passing around some kind of ball seem to go hand in hand for most of the cops we see on TV. Would you join them at the local game, or would you do a different kind of passing on the offer?
What’s the worst misconception about cops?
Let’s face it—as warn and relatable as many of the cops on television can be, the men and women serving in the real world equivalent aren’t always so nice. Then again, maybe they would be if the world weren’t so corrupt and filled with crime, making most cops walk through life with an extra layer of suspicion. Even if some cops deserve the scrutiny, it should go without saying that not all officers of the law are necessarily bad people, and in fact, many simply wish to serve and protect like it says on their badges.
Have you ever crossed the line?
Speaking of corruption, members of modern society wouldn’t be so quick to assume cops were up to no good unless some of them actually were. On television especially, virtually every cop we see does something a little bit shady or questionable before long, at least if their show lasts long enough for them to do something interesting.
How do you feel about the show COPS?
In 1989, the Fox network changed the idea of cop shows forever by introducing the real deal to TV with the simply named COPS. Filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement, COPS was also innovative as one of the first true reality shows, pointing a camera at real life and adding very little to the proceedings aside from a soundtrack.
Do you believe in criminal rehabilitation?
No matter how horrible a given crime is, the person who commits it always has the chance of changing as a person and genuinely seeking redemption, but whether or not they’ll truly achieve it is hardly guaranteed. In fact, some may feel that true rehabilitation is impossible for the worst criminals, as bad people will always remain evil deep down inside. Do you agree with this?
Which crime is the worst?
Ultimately, there’s no use in comparing two criminals and deciding which one is a “worse” person. Motive is everything, and the specifics of the crime they committed rarely says the whole story about the kind of monster they are. However, if we get general enough about it, some assumptions can nonetheless be drawn.
Do you support the death penalty?
Thousands of years ago when the first system of law was invented, the people in charge decided than an eye for an eye was almost always an appropriate punishment. In less poetic terms, Hammurabi’s code suggested that the proper recourse for a murder was for the state to in turn murder them. How do you feel about sending criminals to the chair (or needle, or etc.)?
Would you ever go undercover?
For as fun as it sounds on paper, working undercover is also seriously dangerous, as it can generally spell death if the bad guys figure out one of their own is secretly a cop. As such, some cops might avoid going UC all together—would you?
Do you ever drink alcohol?
Due in part to the severe stressors associated with police work, another cliché about cops on television is that almost all of them seem to maintain some level of a drinking problem. Even those who don’t mention having gone to rehab or experiencing a partner or two who got lost in the bottle, making us wonder if alcoholism comes along with the badge and the gun after graduating the academy. Luckily, not every single cop on TV falls victim to this trend, but you still might. Do you?
Are you a good driver?
Of all the skills required to be an expert police officer, one of the most integral is being able to think fast behind the wheel of a car. No matter what sort of crime cops specialize in solving, they all inevitably get into a high speed chase or two when a suspect attempts to evade capture. Lacking this talent won’t necessarily make a person a horrible cop, but it can lead to the bad guys getting away if things go wrong, so it’s definitely something any aspiring officer should think about.
What kind of music do you like?
For three short months in 1990, ABC aired one of the weirdest police based TV shows in history called Cop Rock, its twist that it was presented entirely through song and dance. While that series was highly criticized from the very beginning, it’s not like cops are entirely averse to the idea of brightening their lives with music. Police officers are just like anyone else in feeling that the world sounds a little bit better with a melody and a backbeat, but which genre is particular do you have playing in your squad car?
Which city would you rather police?
Ultimately, there’s nothing less noble about serving as the police in a small town than there is in serving and protecting the people of a major metropolitan area. Either way, cops are doing their duty to uphold law and order, and the number of people they’re performing this service for doesn’t change how difficult a task it is to ensure everyone feels safe.
Do you have a family?
The desire to protect people around you is never stronger than when in reference to one’s own family. Perhaps it’s for this reason that many TV cops are proud mothers or fathers, doing everything they do in some way as a means of making the world a better place for their children. Of course, having a large family isn’t exactly a prerequisite for entering the police force, as the lonely sad sock cop is just as common a trope. Which side of the coin sounds more like you?
What are your political beliefs?
For the most part, police work has nothing to do with politics, aside of course from the fact all cops are working for the government and by extension it’s elected officials. Because cops are working for people in public office, many of them understandably take great interest in local and national politics, holding strong opinions on all things governmental. Assuming you’re the same way, what side of politics are you on?
Where do you live?
Despite the high pressure and intense situations cops often find themselves in on their day to day jobs, an unfortunate fact of the job is that it doesn’t pay all that well. Because of this, few police officers on TV or in the real world are able to live in big mansions on the hill. That doesn’t mean they’re all living in squalor, though, as cops still have plenty of options in where they can hang their weary heads after a hard day’s work. What kind of home are you living in?
Have you ever broken the law yourself?
There’s nothing worse to police officers than when one of their own destroys everything they’re working for and winds up in jail themselves for a serious offense. Hell, cops don’t even like it when they catch another cop jaywalking, as it makes the entire department look bad by association. Of course, to a truly bad cop, this is hardly a deterrent, with the extra scrutiny only serving to make it all that much sweeter when they get away with breaking the law. Can you relate to this thrill?
Who is your favorite TV lawyer?
In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. This quiz is all about the police who investigate crime, yet it can’t be forgotten that the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders play just as big a role in the process of justice being served. With this in mind, the greatest ally of a TV cop is a TV lawyer, so which of these litigators is your favorite?
Do you abuse your authority?
Theoretically, to be a police officer is to be a part of the most noble profession in the world. Unfortunately, not everyone to wear the badge has done so with honor, which is why not all cops are given the respect the good ones deserve. Corruption has long been a trope of the cop genre, with police flashing their badges at just the right moment in order to earn monetary gain, or at least a few free hot dogs now and again. Would you ever use your status as a cop to your advantage and try to take a bribe?
What are your plans for retirement?
It’s more a trope in film than on television, but we’ve probably all seen at least one story about a cop who is right at the cusp of retirement only to suddenly get sucked back in to the biggest case of their life with three days left on their pension. From there, things usually look pretty grim, and it seems like they just might not make it to retirement after all. Then, inevitably, the day is saved, and they get to retire in peace. Where does the story end for you?
How is your romantic life?
There’s no denying that a certain type of woman is heavily attracted to police officers, much to the happiness of select cops. Unfortunately for female cops, the opposite cliché seems to be true, with men intimidated by their badges and fearing the idea of being with such a strong woman.
Which of the following cop shows is your least favorite?
Let’s face it—the mere fact a TV show is about cops hardly guarantees viewers that it’s going to be any good. Quite a few cop shows over time have absolutely sucked, with either critics or audiences refusing to treat them with any sort of respect. We’re not saying these four are the worst of the worst, but true fans of the genre know they just aren’t as good as some of the better examples. Which is your least favorite of all?
Do you ever give to charity?
In many respects, being a police officer can be considered charity work in and of itself. On top of that, the police force is usually in need of some charity, with fundraising balls and galas asking for money from the public on a yearly basis. That said, the fact police are inherently charitable by nature might mean officers of the law are more likely to support numerous other generous endeavors, as well. Have you ever given your time or money to those in need?
How do you dress?
After they reach a certain level, cops are no longer confined to the typical officer’s uniform we see in the real world. Most police on TV are above that level, generally mocking the “unis” as being a class below their hardened detective status. It’s not as though wearing one’s personal clothing on the job somehow makes them more important, and yet TV detectives flaunt their status in any way possible, putting stock in everything they get to control. This in mind, how do you dress? How do you dress?
What’s your favorite movie genre?
So prevalent are police in the world of film that there has been a cop movie or two for virtually every genre audiences could possibly imagine. Dramatic cop films like The Departed go without saying, as few professions other are as dangerous or thrilling. Buddy comedies like Lethal Weapon find fun in the extreme situations and bring in huge audiences with their unexpected, charming laughs.
Who is your best friend?
Most cops on TV are so busy working cases and investigating criminals that they don’t have time for social lives, and if they do, it’s spent entirely on romance and/or their spouses. Aside from other people in the force, TV cops are rarely able to form any strong friendships.
What’s your favorite decade of television?
While cop shows have existed basically since television began airing weekly episodic dramas, they’ve obviously evolved from Joe Friday in a major way. It wasn’t until the 1980s that police officers could show any real hint of corruption on the small screen, and by the turn of the millennium, fictional cops were just as likely to be bad guys as good guys. Nowadays, joining the once noble profession of police work is basically a moral grey area in and of itself, and all of these differences understandably effect how fans of the genre view the medium. Which era was your favorite?
Do you like being a cop?
Ultimately, it all comes down to this one. Anyone who doesn’t enjoy a job they’re doing always has the option to quit, and even if you’ve never done a day of police work in your life, reading this quiz may have been all you need to know the profession isn’t for you. On the other hand, it could have been filled with countless reminders of exactly why you took the job. So, which is it—did we remind you why you’re a cop, why you’ll never be one?
Who’s the worst TV criminal?
It’s easy for audiences around the world to follow the actions of police officers, knowing their badge and shield inherently make them heroes in pursuit of justice. However, it’s usually the villains who are more interesting, either through their sheer lack of humanity or the specifics of how their evil makes itself known.
What’s your favorite cop show?
All right, enough questions about what life would be like if you were a cop. Chances are, you don’t actually wear a badge, so we may as well end this little adventure in fantasy and ask a question about what you really do with your time, like watching TV. Considering you’ve taken this quiz, we have to imagine you’ve enjoyed a number of cop shows in your day with plenty of favorites to list from, but if you had to pick only one of these four classics, which would it be?
