This Quiz Will Tell You If You're In Love Or In Lust
This is something that so many people ask themselves if a relationship moves a little too quickly and becomes physical before you’ve established boundaries and expectations. But don’t get scared off just yet! That might not be a bad thing, answer these questions about your relationship and we’ll tell you if you’re in love or in lust.
But quickly, let’s discuss the differences: Lust is when you are purely motivated by your own personal needs and desires. Sure, that person might be good looking, or might be someone you’d establish an emotional connection with, but that’s not really what you’re interested in right now. Instead, you’d rather just stay in bed for hours, while avoiding any form of emotional discussion.
Love is the exact opposite; you feel that this person is YOUR person: they GET you, they SUPPORT you and more importantly, YOU support, get and love them! You’re more than willing to sleep with them, but it is the emotional connection you’re looking for, and are excited about.
So, which one do you think is at the foundation of your relationship? Are you sticking with it for love or are this just an extended booty call? It's time to find out by taking this quiz!
Do you like their personality or looks?
When you’re looking for a relationship, there is one particular trait that you find more necessary than others. For instance, perhaps for you, this person NEEDS to be good-looking, or they NEED to have a good personality.
Do you cuddle - even if there is no sex?
Cuddling is a grey area: it is something that can often make you feel that you’re in a relationship (even if you’re not, or friends-with-benefits), but it is by no means, an indicator that you are in fact, in a relationship. The more you cuddle without the per-requisite of sex, the more likely you’ll become attached.
Can you look gross around them?
Being able to look less-than-your-best is definitely a relationship definer, it means that you’re comfortable around this person enough to not look sexy (in fact, you’re fine to look completely UN-sexy in front of them and still be comfortable and possibly even expect romantic attention of some sort).
Do you feel like you have to be on point all the time?
This may sound like the like the last question, but there is a significant difference between the two: on-point is the inference that you’re not even comfortable looking less than your best (I’m talking highest level of hair, facial, body-hair, clothing and full on “wow” factor prep).
Do you spend more time in bed rather than talking?
When you talk in a relationship you begin to see them as more than just the “hottie with a body”, or the “guy that makes me laugh”, but actually get to know them for WHO THEY ARE (may be a good thing, or a bad thing - honestly depends on if you like them as a person or not).
Do you talk about your lives?
There is a fine line between being polite (i.e. “how was your day?” followed by a “fine”, or some other one-syllable answer with a possible follow-up sentence or two of explanation), and genuinely getting to know the person you’re with (i.e. “how was your day?” followed by “it was great, (insert descriptions about day), how about you?”). Do you put in the extra effort?
Can you laugh with them?
Laughing with your partner, or the person you’re seeing, is not only a good way to form a positive mental and emotional connection with them, but it adds another positive reinforcement about your relationship in both of your minds. On a more practical note it also demonstrates that you have similar comedic taste - which is just as important, if not more - as having similar moral codes or ambitions in life. While you can laugh with someone that you’re in lust with, it’s not as common.
Do you sleep over?
While you might not always sleep over, them wanting you to, or you wanting them to, opens the door in your relationship for it to progress into something more. It also allows for some pretty epic and long-lasting cuddling.
Do you go out on dates?
Staying in, cuddling and having epic, long-lasting sex sessions can be great, but if they’re not willing to leave your little love-nest for the occasional date, then there is honestly something a little funky about the relationship.
Can you see a future with them?
Being able to visualize a future with someone is part of YOUR ability and desire to attempt a relationship with this person. If you honestly cannot see yourself with them, then the relationship is not going to progress. While this isn’t a bad thing, if you can’t see a future with them, you should really confirm that with them (make sure you’re both on the same page).
Are you able to tell them no?
Can you Meghan Trainor them? If you’re not comfortable, or willing, to tell them when you don’t want to do something (such as going camping), and be secure in your relationship and their respect for you in that particular moment, then your relationship will never go anywhere.
Are you able to stay mad at them?
Being mad at the person you are involved with signifies several things: the first is that you are comfortable with them emotionally and that they are somewhat of a safe-place. Secondly it means that you expect them to listen to your feelings and behave accordingly. Finally it means that you are able to feel more emotions than JUST physical ones, and are not willing to ignore them.
What happens if you fight?
Fighting is sadly, a natural part of life, especially relationships. However, fighting between couples that are only casual relationships, tend to be the thing that ends whatever it was these two people had going. If you are truly in a relationship then a fight should not derail the whole thing.
Do you buy clothes specifically to wear for them in bed?
Let’s face it, no matter WHERE you are in a relationship, if you know what the person you’re with likes on you, you will automatically make sure to have a few key selections in your wardrobe that can be used for romantic evenings, moments of playful seduction, etc. But do you have a few, or a lot?
Do you plan your entire get-togethers based off of sex?
All types of couples get to a point in their lives where they plan sex-sessions - I mean, scheduling for the win, right? - but the thing is there is a difference in how this is done in a relationship based on love versus lust.
Are you going to the gym FOR them?
Quite a few people go to the gym to become hot to either stick it to an ex and/or to get the attention of someone they’re specifically looking at. While there is nothing wrong with this type of thinking, there IS a problem when you base the level of attraction you think that person has for you on the level of fitness that you have/maintain.
Do you make sure you always have sexy underwear on?
Wearing sexy underwear at the exact moment when the person you’re involved with is in the mood is often a very fortuitous moment: you’re prepared, feel sexy and they have a moment of happiness that you anticipated their needs.
Is it their name or nickname in your phone?
If you’re giving the person you’re sleeping with a nickname that is not either from an inside joke between the two of you, or the stereotypical kind (such as “My Baby”, “Boyfriend/Girlfriend”, “The Love of My Life”, etc.), then it’s just a relationship that is based off of convenience and your nickname is a reminder of that.
Do you tell your friends about them?
Telling your friends about the person you’re seeing means that you, at least, are willing and ready for this relationship to progress to the next level. It means you’re willing to update them about your relationship, to ask for advice, and even for the person you’re seeing to meet them one day.
Do you make sure to be extra sexy with everything you do?
If all you’re paying attention to - and want - is sex from this person, then chances are you’re doing everything in your power to ensure that that’s all they think about in correlation to you as well. While there is a point in time where that is normal, and expected, if you’re in lust this phase never leaves.
Do you try to stay mysterious, or let them know you?
If you want and expect a relationship, then eventually the mystery will have to leave and they’ll have to be familiar with EVERY part of you. But sometimes this amount of familiarity can be a turn off - especially when the other person was only looking for a physical relationship.
Do you shave all the time?
If you shave all the time, not only do you expect sex, but that means you’re making sure everything is perfect. Perfection isn’t a bad thing, but if you’re afraid you won’t get what you want physically unless you’re perfect - there’s a problem.
Do you only sext?
Sexting is one of the best and worst things about the twenty-first century. It means that you’re able to add an exciting and interesting part of your sex life, while not having to live up to your words until you’re mentally/physically caught up.
Would you go to them for comfort?
Going to the person you are romantically seeing for comfort about external parts of your life means that you’re wanting/willing to share your life with them, draw them into it, and expect them to help you through whatever you’re going through.
Have you met their friends and family?
Meeting their friends and family REALLY means that you’re no longer in the friends-with-benefits zone, my friend (pun intended). Just like the question where I asked if you told your friends about them, involving friends and family PERSONALLY (as in, they’ve met this person and are now able to know them and make their own opinions based off of this meet and greet) results in a relationship status upgrade - and SOON. Even if you haven’t met them yet and their just talking about it, prepare for a relationship talk.
