This 60-Second Test Will Reveal How Long You've Left To Live
- by Michael Winter
- – on
- in Lifestyle
If there is one thing most of us don’t want to talk about ever it is that life will one day come to an end. As dead-certain as we are that the sun rises in the east and sinks in the west, some day in the future we’ll all be lying down with our arms crossed over our chest beneath flowers and a tombstone.
Still with us? OK…
Until then try not to be too sad about your fate. Every day above ground is a good day, right? So, why not live a little more than you did before you started reading and sit back to enjoy today’s quiz?
We promise it’s a great one for turning a down-frown around because once we’ve crunched your answers and run them through our foolproof mega-machine we can tell you exactly how long you have left.
Doesn’t that sound awesome?! What’s more, once you’ve found out: celebrate! Unbox your life-vouchers and pack your stuff for a trip to Paris? This, friends, is a gift that keeps on giving.
Never mind how we go about this; take it from us that the answer you get will be more accurate than any previous end-of-life learning you’ve ever enjoyed. We say: Live long and prosper. Or not. Depending on your answers.
To what sort of routine do you live your life?
We all choose to live our lives differently. No matter how similar you think you are to others, there will be one thing they do that stands out as cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. But then, they probably think the same about you. How do you live yours?
How do you make someone feel when you meet them for the first time?
It's an important pro-human necessity that we're nice to each other. But sometimes, we just can’t help ourselves, especially when it comes to douchebags (those guys are tiring). How do you stress-cope with meeting someone for the first time?
If there are chores to do, how long do you leave them?
Life was once a chore: think of our Founding Fathers, how hard they worked and how dedicated they were to The Cause. No spare time, no fun, etc. These days, we do everything we can to avoid house chores and annoying domestic-ness.
How quickly do you get angry?
When you get angry, your blood fills with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, which lead to an increase in your heart rate. Is that good for you? Does it keep you feeling alive? Really, think about it…
What’s your favorite food?
Ah, food, nutrition, fitness: words that conjure up, for many of us, colossal life-sucks. For others, though, they combine to make the Good Life. But even the fittest among us have a hankering for something that’s not on the good-for-you menu once in a while…
How quickly do you get overwhelmed by problems?
When we find ourselves staring at the house going up in flames on Christmas morning, we'll naturally taste the bitter tang of chagrin. But luckily, such things - the 'what’s worst that can happens' - rarely happen. Even so…
What do you do to relax?
You kick off your Air Force Ones and begin an evening of meditation, which includes a soak in a bath full of essential oils. Or not. Your choice. To what degree you can chill aids your mind to come to terms with the next hot bout of stress and anxiety.
How do you feel about yourself right now?
In terms of personality tests, this one's a standard. But remember, this is no ordinary test, and for some, it may be the last one you take. So, instead of saying “Yeh, I feel like a million bucks,” take care over this one, and BE HONEST.
How adventurous are you?
No screens. No TV. No laptop. No phone. “Let’s go outside in the sunshine,” as someone once said. “I know you want to, but you can't say yes.” And sunshine is a great source of vitamin D and happy-juice rays. So do it. No excuses.
What do you feel about those worse off than you?
The world is full of “haves” and “have-nots.” Sometimes, there are huge divides between both rich nations and poor. Sometimes, it's a closer-to-home difference as seen when driving from Sunset Boulevard to Skid Row.
How good are you at your work?
If you didn’t think you were any good at your work, would you admit it to your supervisor? We think not. And yet, what good is hot-bottling it up? Perhaps, you're actually good at your work and you just don’t think you are. Yes, that’s probably the case.
Roughly how many hours per day do you work?
Off you go to work in good faith. And depending on what your day has to offer, you feel excited, nervous, or bummed. If you feel nothing, you’re probably in the wrong job. According to ABC News, Americans work longer hours than anyone else.
How many things in life are you afraid of?
Aha. Manias and phobias are a source of both interest and humor, and yet, for sufferers, they can be debilitating. Take for instance a woman in England who has a cheese phobia. She finds it impossible to eat a microdot of cheese! How must that impact on her sorry life?
How often do you sit and relax?
Doing something by the seat of our pants means that we trust our own expertise to carry out a task. But if your pants have no seat because you’re always sitting down, how do you get anything done? That’s a question for another day.
How often do you travel abroad?
We find our window seat in the plane (preferably the one next to the exit door) and stow our hand luggage in the overhead. The plane takes off, and after that dose of Ativan, we sleep the sleep of the dead. We awake at our final destination…
What’s a perfect night for you?
We were definitely tempted to join our friends at the opening of a new Walkabout in town with the guy-promise of cheap beer and a set from The Australian Pink Floyd Show tribute act. But now, the night is here. Are you feeling as confident?
Are you afraid to draw attention to yourself?
Our teachers always said that we like to draw attention to ourselves, but that was maybe another way of saying we were troublemakers. Not everyone’s the same, though. Are you the quiet type? Does the thought of someone looking at you make you anxious?
When you go out for a drink, what do you do?
We asked you about your favorite night out, but let’s now pretend you’ve decided to have a few drinks with friends. How crazy do you go? Are you a sipper, a gulper, or a fish? Be honest… it’s the only way we can be certain about how long you have left.
Which one do you think is worse?
This may seem like a random question, but depending on how you answer it, we can tell a lot about you. When we say “worse,” we’re talking about how sad it makes you feel. So, never mind how any of these things happened - just answer the question, will you?
Roughly how many friends do you have?
If you’re honest, that last friendship you made was in itself an act of desperation, seeing as you’ve been bombarded by them for weeks (although maybe they feel the same). But what does this new arrival bring your tally of friends to?
What extreme sport would you consider doing?
Picture this: you’re about to do something exciting. We know for some of you, this will be a blank-drawing exercise, but you have to use your imagination to answer this next question. If you could do any type of extreme sport, what would it be?
How many times a week do you lie?
Russian author Leo Tolstoy once said, “Anything is better than lies and deceit!” And this is true up to a point. We all sometimes may be tempted to tell a white lie, but the problem with white lies is: where do we draw the line?
What stresses you out the most?
Forget your phobias for just a moment, and let’s talk about general everyday stresses - those micro-screwups that on one hand should have no consequence but on the other shouldn’t have happened in the first place. How do they make you feel?
What sport do you like to watch?
If ever things seem to be going our way and we feel like chilling with a sport of some kind, we may choose something equally relaxing to watch, such as golf, or we may want to see what’s going down at the most recent WWE event. And yes, WWE is a sport - don't get us started... just choose one!
What are you destined to be?
Perhaps you’re happy in your work – whether you think you’re good at it or not – but then again, maybe you hate your work. Have you ever found yourself dreaming about what your life will be like in five years’ time? Or ten?
