There's No Way You'll Name These NBA Players Of The 2000s
- by Will Morgan
- – on
- in Sports
The NBA is the greatest sports league in the world because basketball is the greatest sport in the world. That's why it's called "The Beautiful Game."
The NBA has gone through some interesting periods. From a start as a novelty league, it has blossomed with the tough guy work ethics of the '80s combined with the Bird and Magic rivalry. After that, the sport was sent into the stratosphere by Michael Jordan, whose Bulls won six titles, only interrupted between sets of three by the Rockets. After the heyday of Jordan and before Kobe and LeBron became legends, there was the 2000s.
Those early years in the new millennium was marked with flashy players that frightened white America and brash volume shooters who made sure to always get theirs. In short, it was an amazing time to be a basketball fan. It was the days of the Jail Blazers, the Kings, a dynamic duo in H-Town, working-class heroes in Motown, Seven Seconds Or Less, and a relevant team in New Jersey. It was so awful and amazing. These are some of the players. Let's see if you know your stuff.
Who's this two-time All-Star?
This two-time NBA All-Star has played for several teams but is most likely best remembered as the starting point guard for the 2007 "We Believe" Golden State Warriors team. That year, the Warriors entered the playoffs as the eighth seed in the Western conference and knocked off the number one seeded Dallas Mavericks. This player has also played for the Charlotte/New Orleans Hornets, the Los Angeles Clippers, the Cleveland Cavaliers and the New York Knicks. He's also the NBA's all-time leader in steals per game for the playoffs.
Can you name this sharpshooting big man?
This Serbian baller lit up the NBA from beyond the arc for 13 years. Standing at six feet and ten inches while shooting .400 on threes his first year as a starter, he helped usher in the era of the extra-large swingman. He played most of his career for the Sacramento Kings and now serves in their front office. After getting oh-so-close several times in Sac-Town, he finally got an NBA title in 2011 as a member of the Dallas Mavericks.
Who is this sleepy eyed assassin?
This dude, for a couple of stretches in the 2000's, was hands down the best player in the NBA. The back of his jersey should have just said "Better Than Kobe". Selected ninth overall i the '97 draft by the Toronto Raptors, this dude teamed with his cousin Vince Carter to make a Canadian NBA team a scary match up for the first time. He went to Orlando then to Houston. One game against the Spurs, he scored 13 points in 35 seconds. Dude was good.
What's the true identity of Agent Zero?
What kind of nickname is "Agent Zero"? What does that even mean? Is he like a secret agent or something? How is being a secret agent beneficial to playing basketball? Whatever. This player's other nickname is pretty sweet, though: Hibachi. What's better than a hibachi chef, huh? Nothing. This dude was a three-time All-Star and played the most memorable years of his career in Washington with the Wizards. He was suspended part of the 2011–12 NBA season due to a locker-room incident involving a gun and unpaid gambling debts. *Sigh* Oh, Hibachi.
Who's this guy with the ugly jump shot?
This dude, without a doubt, has the most unorthodox, butt-ugly jumpshot in the history of the game of basketball. If you haven't seen it, stop reading right now and go watch a clip of it. Oh, wait. Figure out his name first, then do that. This guy's best known for his days with the "Seven Seconds Or Less Phoenix Suns," but ended up playing for five different teams over the course of his 16-year career. He won a title in 2011 with the Mavericks.
Who's this member of the 2004 Pistons title team?
Oh, man. That 2004 Pistons title team. They had to have one of the best defenses in NBA history, especially for an NBA era that so favored drivers and volume shooters. Much like roughly a billion other NBA ballers, he played college ball at Kentucky. This guy was drafted in 2002 and rode the pine most of his rookie year. It wasn't until the playoffs of that season that coach Rick Carlisle put him in while trailing the Magic three games to one. He became a rotation dude soon after.
What's the name of this ex "We Believe" Warrior?
This guy was drafted at spot 40 in the 2005 NBA draft by the Golden State Warriors and promptly began overachieving. This guy skipped the whole college game and was drafted straight out of Lanier High School in Jackson, Mississippi. He started off in the NBA riding the bench but worked his way into the starting rotation by the end of his rookie year. In the 2006-2007 season, he was named Most Improved Player. He last played for the Indiana Pacers.
Who is Mr. Big Shot?
You have to have brains to be a point guard in the NBA, You have to have an elite b-ball brain to be a championship level point guard for a good stretch of your career in the NBA. This guy went number three in '97 and played for 8 different teams in his 17 year NBA career and won the title in 2004 with Detroit. He was named Finals MVP of that series as well.
Who was "The Franchise"?
This three-time All-Star, former member of the Houston Rockets, had the sweet nickname "Franchise". And he truly was The Franchise during the beginning of his career. He was drafted second in the 1999 NBA draft by the Vancouver Grizzlies, but refused to play there, citing "Distance from his home, taxes, endorsements, and God's will". His rights were traded to the Houston Rockets and he went on to crossover every fool that tried to guard him. Eventually, the Rockets traded him for another star, but let's try to not remember his non-Rockets days.
Who's the big man?
This big dude with the big hair played nine seasons with the Detroit Pistons. He made two NBA Finals appearances with them and won a title with them in 2004. Big man was drafted in 1996 by the Washington Wizards, but barely played. It wasn't until 2000 in Detroit, after a brief stint in Orlando, that this fella started to become a known commodity with his defensive dominance. He also won defensive Player Of The Year four, count 'em, four times. That's some solid D.
Who is this import from China?
In 2002 this skyscraper was selected number one overall by the Houston Rockets and helped to eventually turn them into a multi-billion dollar franchise. Previously, he had played in the CBA for the Shanghai Sharks. He was the only international player ever to be drafted in the first overall spot without having played any college ball in the United States. It took a few years, but he became one of the most dominant centers in the game. But he soon developed a few lasting injuries that plagued him the rest of his career.
Who is this pass-happy point guard?
It may seem completely ridiculous to newer and younger NBA fans, but once upon a time The Sacramento Kings were one of the hottest teams in the NBA. In those early to mid 2000's seasons, the Kings came so close to the NBA Finals that their fans swore their had to be a conspiracy. Turned out, they weren't far off, but instead of a league wide conspiracy, it was a gambling ref manipulating free throws. This guy was the point guard through it all.
Who is this fat power forward?
Oh jeez, this guy. This dude made a career of being that dude people hated. And then, just when it looked like his career was on the downswing, he goes out and wins a world title. Ain't that something? He was drafted sixth in 1996 after playing his college ball at Kentucky. He played for the Boston Celtics until 2003 then went to Dallas, then Atlanta, then back to Boston. He won the title with Miami. And he never saw a shot he didn't want to take.
Who is "White Chocolate"?
Let's go ahead and get this out of the way, White Chocolate is a lame nickname. This dude deserved better than that. This point guard made a career out of flashy passe, collecting fines, and serving suspensions. He was yet another member of those title contending Sacramento Kings teams that were doomed to fall to the Lakers in the playoffs. He ended up playing 12 seasons in the NBA and finally won a title in 2006 with the Miami Heat.
Who's that guy with the Mighty Mouse tattoo?
Mighty Mouse here was drafted number seven in the 1995 NBA Draft by the Toronto Raptors. Only standing at five feet and ten inches, this dude still managed to be a reliable point guard in the land of giants. He was named NBA Rookie of the year and then in 1998 the Raptors traded him to Portland. There he helped make up the fearsome suqad that became known as the Jail Blazers. He played all the way until 2008 until finally retiring and going into coaching.
Can you name this post player?
Tall guy over here entered the 1996 NBA draft straight out of high school. He was selected 17th overall by the Portland Trailblazers. He had some early rookie troubles and despite some sporadic success here and there, never really seemed to click into the NBA game. Finally, in 2001, he was traded to the Indiana Pacers. He flourished in Indiana and ended up receiving the NBA Most Improved Player Award that season. He went on to become a six-time All-Star. Oh and he was involved in the Malice At The Palace, but that's another story.
Who is this guy supposed to be?
It has got to be so much pressure to be drafted at number one overall in the NBA draft. It has got to be so much more pressure to be drafted number one in the NBA draft and not be great at basketball. This guy went number one in '99 to the Chicago Bulls, and this was back when people didn't laugh every time you mentioned the Chicago Bulls. Unfortunately for this guy, he didn't become the superstar he was expected to be.
Who is this reality star?
You may recognize this guy from the last championship Lakers team, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or a random rehab center. Dude was drafted in '99 at the four spot by the Los Angeles Clippers. Normally, getting drafted by the Clips is a death sentence, but he flourished. Did I say flourished? I meant suspended twice in four years for substance abuse violations. He went to Miami then got traded to the Lake Show. Once there, he and Pau helped Kobe win a title, since Mamba couldn't do it on his own.
What's the name of this goon?
Seriously, look at this goon. He looks like the guy in camo holding up the line at Starbucks while he asks what a Frappuccino is and mispronounces everything on the menu. Can you believe this goober actually made two NBA All-Star teams? He played for six teams, yeah actual NBA teams, in his 14 year career. And he was actually a pretty reliable bro down at the center/power forward position. He's probably best remembered for his time with the Kings, but he also was acquired, and gotten rid of, by the Bulls twice.
Who is that man in the sky?
This guy... this man... this superhuman, was the best dunker in the NBA. He was drafted fifth by the Golden State Warriors in the '98 draft and quickly traded to the Toronto Raptors. He won Rookie Of The Year that year. The next year in the dunk contest, he cemented himself in the upper echelon of the gods. Oh, and the dude is still playing in the NBA. Below the rim, obviously. He is one of seven players to play NBA ball for 20 seasons.
Who's this?
A long long time ago, the San Antonio Spurs were not just universally accepted as having the best run system in the entire modern NBA. Nope, that reputation had to be earned. Sure, they were always good in the Popovich era, but this player helped prove they were masters. This guy was drafted in '95 by the Suns and became a two-time All-Star with the Mavericks. He was a shoot first, first or second option. But, when he went to the Spurs, swallowed his pride, and came off the bench, he won a title and added to the Spurs legend.
Who's the Canadian?
This guy proved wrong the usually very reliable expression "Nothing good ever comes out of Canada". This was the man the brought Mike D'antoni's monstrous vision of basketball to life for the first time in the NBA. He was drafted 15th in the '96 draft by Phoenix and was traded to Dallas in '98. That's where he started to become the player we know. Then in a typical dumb Mark Cuban move, he was let go. There, he stole two MVP awards from Shaq.
Who is this blocking machine?
This guy was a four-time member of the NBA All Defensive team and is 12th on the NBA's all-time career blocks list. In his 17 year NBA career, he was named NBA Defensive Player Of The Year once, in the 2006-07 season. He started with the Toronto Raptors, went on to the New York Knicks, then made his way to the Denver Nuggets. He later bounced around to the Trailblazers and the Rockets, before finally returning to the Knicks.
This guy. Yes, this guy. Who is he?
If you watched any amount of basketball in the 2000's you'll immediately recognize this guy as that dude you wanted to punch in the face from the Timberwolves. This guy was drafted sixth in 1999 by the T-Wolves. He spent the majority of his career in Minnesota, staying there until 2006. He was a coach's selection in the Western Conference for the All-Star team in 2002. He bounced around for a couple of years until retiring in 2009 and going into broadcasting. He smiles too much.
Who is this guy that calls himself the "Jet"?
Ever notice that b-ball dudes nicknamed The Jet are never the fastest guy on the court? I mean sure this dude was quickish, but never the fastest. And the other NBA guy with the Jet monicker was Kenny Smith. I guess he earned that nickname by walking the ball slowly up the court then dumping it to Hakeem Olajuwon? Anyway, this guy was picked tenth in the '99 draft by the Atlanta Hawks, but is most closely associated with the Dallas team he won the title with.
Do you know this star?
This dude was drafted in the four spot in the '96 draft by the Minnesota Timberwolves and, get this, he's still playing! For serious. He currently plays for the Beijing Fly Dragons in the Chinese Basketball Association. Dude has won three CBA titles over in China. While he was playing the good old U.S. of A. he was a ballin' point guard that put up big numbers in Minny and a couple of other clubs including a hilarious stint on the Knicks. And he had his own line of sneakers! They are the ones the poor kids at school wore.
You know this guy, right? Who is he?
Balls don't lie, and neither does this guy. This highly combustible power forward was the most entertaining man in sports for about a decade. He played his college ball at UNC then went into the draft in '95. He was drafted by Washington but quickly made his way over to the Jail Blazers. After that he went on to continue his tough dude reputation as a member of the Detroit Pistons. He became an NBA champion in Detroit in 2004
Who's the guy in the goggles?
Man, if you weren't watching the NBA in the 2000's (and if you weren't, why would you be taking this quiz? Weirdo) you missed an amazing thing with the "Seven Seconds Or Less" Phoenix Suns. They ran an offense that was derided as a gimmick, but ended up being what became the modern NBA. And this was the versatile big man at the center. Taking dishes and collecting rebounds from Steve Nash, he wrecked shopped. Then he got knee surgery and went to the Knicks. Both those things are horrible.
Who is this Wolverine?
Alright, I know what you're saying. "This guy was drafted in '93! He's a 90's player not a 2000's!" First of all, stop talking to your computer. Second of all, shut up. Yes he played amazing in the 90's for Golden State and Washington. But, he had his best years in the early 2000's playing for the Sacramento Kings and would have taken that team to the Finals if they didn't get Donaghy'd. This guy can do no wrong on the b-ball court, except for calling time out at bad times.
Who is this old guy?
He was drafted in '94 by the Dallas Mavericks and played solid ball there at the point for several years. Once he got shipped to New Jersey in 2001, and made the Nets relevant for the first time, he finally got to the NBA Finals. Those Nets squads came close but he didn't actually get his ring until he went back to Dallas and accepted a reduced role.
Who is "The Answer"?
This dude was known as "The Answer". The question was obviously "Who's the man?" He was drafted number one in '96 by the Philadelphia 76ers and made an immediate impact. That year, he performed a killer crossover on Michael Jordan. Check it out on the YouTube. It's neat. Okay, now that you're back, he was the All-Star Game MVP in 2001 and 2005 and was the league MVP in 2001. That is also the year he made his only trip to the finals. His game was just too beautiful for a title.
What's this cat's name?
This dude lead the University Of Rhode Island Rams to the Elite Eight in 1998, but college basketball is stupid so forget I mentioned that. He was drafted later that year by the Houston Rockets in the second round, 41st overall. He started at shooting guard for the Rockets with his buddy Steve Francis for six years. Later, he and Stevie were shipped to Orlando for T-Mac. Getting traded probably sucks but at least he got to go with his buddy.
Who is this Grizzly?
This guy was drafted at number three in the '96 draft by the Vancouver Grizzlies. He was probably the first actual star that franchise ever had, if you don't count Big Country Bryant Reeves, and why in God's name would you count Big Country Bryant Reeves. This guy is a devout Muslim and fasts during Ramadan and everything. He also stood by his teammate and buddy for not standing for the US National Anthem before not standing for the anthem was cool. He retired in 2008.
Who's the Tar Heel over here?
This dude right here. He was on a stacked UNC team that went to the Final Four, but college ball is dumb so sorry for mentioning it. He was drafted in '95 in the three spot by the Philadelphia 76ers. Unfortunately he was quickly saddled with the potentially career killing label of "The Next Jordan". No one can live up to a billing like that, but he was quick to take to the NBA game and was a very solid player his whole career.
Hey, who's this Russian guy over here?
This dude could not be any more Russian if he tried. His nickname is AK-47. His wife is down for an "open relationship". He has a stupid dragon tattoo covering his entire back. And look at his hair. If this dude was any more Russian he would be a talking bottle of vodka. This Ruski was drafted at the 24th spot in '99 by the Utah Jazz. He played there for ten years and was the only Russian person in Utah. He eventually signed with the Nets during a series of deals they made in 2013 that destroyed them for eternity.