There's No Way You Can Name All These Simpsons Characters
- by Dylan Jacob
- – on
- in Movies and TV
When you're on the air for nearly 30 years, you're bound to have tons of characters come, go, and come again. The Simpsons may be about a simple family of five and their pets, but Springfield has plenty of characters who you recognize look-wise, but struggle to remember their name. Kind of like your high school reunion when you've been away from home for a long time.
As The Simpsons works its way through Season 29 (!!), we're going to give you 30 characters whose names you may struggle to remember at first. The characters you always see around Springfield like Moe Syzlak, Mr. Burns, and whoever Homer is drinking with aren't on a quiz like this.
We're going to do our best to avoid spoilers for any of the newer episodes, but most things with episodes 20-25 years in the past are fair game. Besides, it's not like there are that many people out there who don't know who shot Mr. Burns in the biggest mystery since J.R. found himself getting shot.
We hope you'll join us in taking this trip back to the nostalgic days of America's greatest cartoon. You know, aside from Batman: The Animated Series. Fine, we'll put prime Simpsons over BTAS for the time being. We still love BTAS, by the way.
Spider-Pig's real name is...
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig, nearly 11 years later showing up on this quiz. Can he fly? No, he can't. But he still has plenty of fans. Here he comes, Spider-Pig! A breakout character from The Simpsons movie who has made minor appearances in the main show over the past decade, Spider-Pig may or may not be the pig's actual name. Only true Simpsons fans will be able to get this right...or spot if we're just giving you a trick question. Maybe we are!
Sideshow Bob's brother from another series
Yes, Sideshow Bob and his brother both share the Terwilliger last name, so we're not going to include that in the answers. The brother from another series comes from the fact that David Hyde Pierce, who joined Kelsey Grammar in another hit show at around the same time, voices Bob's brother who intends to frame him for a crime at one point before then joining him in jail. Who would put them in a cell together? You shouldn't have any issues getting Bob's brother's name correct, right?
If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it
Beyonce's lyrics are too perfect for this Marge Simpson fanboy, an ex-lover of hers who wishes years after they were together that they lasted. There have been times where fans thought the most famous marriage in cartoon history would end because of this spurned lover (if you really want to call him that), but Marge has remained pretty faithful to Homer over the years. Although, everyone can agree that their marriage in 2018 isn't what it was in 1993. Who is the guy?
Good Ol'....
If we finished that sentence, we'd wind up spoiling it! Another character with an alliterative name, the difference between him and other characters who share the first letter of their first and last names is that he lacks their success or slickness. Whenever things go right for this older character, it's short-lived and he's back drowning his sorrows rather than being back on his feet. It's a tough time to be this character for sure. What's his name, if we can ask?
Krusty's father and far from a Jewish stereotype
As a Jewish person myself (though I'm far from devoted the way this man was), I do take certain happiness in seeing people of the faith portrayed in a non-stereotypical way. Krusty the Clown would have been an obvious answer here because there's too few clowns like him, but his overly religious, late father who found the clown's jokes to be just "eh" makes our list since a good chunk of fans likely won't get his name right. Can you do it?
Arghh, get him a whale already
There's many characters in this quiz who have either been retired for one reason or another or are mainly background props to this point in 2018, but a good number of fans still crack a smile when they see this captain show up on their screen. He's another stereotypical archetype of "the town's people" in a fisherman and a business owner, but at least he's not wearing an eyepatch. What is the good captain's actual name?
Hide your sweets...or walk away
This exchange student from Germany (interestingly, Switzerland in the German dub) has a love for sweets and different candies. That's really his character, though the moment most fans remember him for is getting left behind on a school trip when Skinner and friends tried sneaking into a Civil War reenactment. He's popped up here and there in the many years since, with the interesting name and full German accent still in full-form. Do you remember this young boy's full name?
Homer's half-brother, voiced by Danny DeVito!
Introducing a step-brother for Homer as early as season 2 was a risky move by The SImpsons writers, but we haven't seen too much of him in the past 20 or so years. Part of that may be because Danny DeVito is off doing so many other projects, which hopefully will continue with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia making a return either later this year or in 2019. Sharing an "h" name with his step-brother, who is Abraham's other son?
Can you tell us Comic Book Guy's real name?
Of course you know that this ponytail-wearing, stereotypical middle-aged nerd is the Comic Book Guy. We'd make a joke about you being the worst Simpsons fan ever if you didn't nail that with ease, but that'd mean incurring the wrath of this sarcastic but hilarious gentleman. Even the most casual Simpsons fans can point out his name as the Comic Book Guy, but are you able to tell us his actual name? And yes, we do think his initials being J.A. are like that for a reason.
Rail = Rail, especially if you're a con man
We all know about the Monorail the same way we all know about Mr. Plow and Sideshow Bob, but part of what made that episode so legendary was the slick work by this Phil Hartman-voiced con man. Possessing everything a good con man needs from a creative, alliterative name to bright colors and a smile, we rally shouldn't be surprised at how easily he wooed the entire town of Springfield into building, of all things, a monorail. Who was this con man?
This may or may not be Michael Jackson
See, Michael Jackson voiced this one-shot character, but his name couldn't appear in the credits so he was listed as John Jay Smith. This character did think he was the King of Pop, however, before saying his real name at the end of the episode. Rest in power to the late Michael Jackson in one of his more memorable roles, something which unfortunately gets lost with all of the shows that parodied his run-ins with the law and his passing in 2009.
A decorated war hero who shares the same name as a Springfieldan...maybe
We're really not supposed to talk about the war hero on the left, as the show's writers have tried to do their best to retcon this controversial episode. As it turns out, one of the show's main characters and a fan favorite stole their name from someone they presumed to be dead. Why? Well, there's a reason that this episode has effectively been erased from the show's canon. Diehard Simpsons fans should be able to nail this one with ease.
The Simpsons' version of Barbie
What made The Simspons so popular during the 1990s was its mature, yet comical and sarcastic takes on current issues in the political climate. The topic of Barbie dolls and the "lessons" they're really providing to young girls was tackled in an episode where Lisa and the original Malibu Stacy try to create a doll which isn't only about telling girls to be skinny and not care about getting an education. What is the model for Malibu Stacy's real name?
Maybe the show's greatest secondary character
Name one of the show's top episodes and this old man is bound to be in there somewhere, dying in some form or another. His brains have been turned to mush by Mr. Burns, he's been set on fire by the sun, received the death penalty, pulled a knife on Moe, and been adopted by Homer as a "replacement" for Bart. Oh, and he was hit in the groin by a football in a home movie the former Springfield mayor made. Who is this?
Villain of The Simpsons Movie and a true politician
We call him a true politician because he lies, he cheats, and he's answering to a president who used to host The Apprentice. In The Simpsons Movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the u.S. President, not Donald Trump. An environmental politician with aspirations of a higher office and a temper that makes him willing to kill both Bart and Homer, it's probably a good thing he was one-and-done in the movie. Many fans were critical of his character, saying he didn't fit what the show was about.
Mayor Quimby's not-as-smart nephew
If Mayor Quimby is intended to be a parallel of former U.S. President John F. Kennedy, his nephew takes hints from both Kennedy's son, John Jr. The nephew assaults waiters, yells at people, and lacks even the slight tinge of intelligence that Springfield's long-time mayor does. We'd ask what went wrong in this Quimby's life, but we're afraid his yelling at literally everyone will break the fabric of time and space to scream at us as well. What is his name?
Reverend Lovejoy's rebellious daughter
Reverend Lovejoy has always been the stereotypical calm, cool, and collected religious figure - aside from when it comes to Ned Flanders - so we loved the idea of making his daughter a rebel against authority. It's just too bad she's only been in one major episode because the idea of her and past boyfriend Bart causing havoc in the town could be a miniseries of its own. Let's just hope that they treat poor Hans Moleman well. What's her name?
This real-life astronaut appeared on The Simpsons
The Simpsons has always had a knack for getting celebrities to guest star, whether it's athletes, actors, or even porn stars - or, adult actors. When Homer makes it to space in one episode, he is joined by some actual astronauts, including this real-life space traveler who is seen waiting for potato chips to land in his hand. He, for one, did not welcome our new insect overlords and instead tried to fix things. Do you remember which astronaut this happened to be?
A first-name only gay character who cures Homer's phobia
We never find out this character's last name (and spoiling who played him would probably spoil the answer), but many fans did find out things about the LGBT community when he appeared 20 years ago. The 1990s were far from a progressive time about gay marriage and non-heterosexuals, so having a gay character appear on one of TV's most popular show and explain without lecturing what life was like was awesome. And "Homer's Phobia" is an awesome episode name too. Who is this?
Lisa's love interest from The Simpsons Movie
Like many other movies of TV shows and cartoons, The Simpsons Movie introduced a love interest for Lisa who never came back. This young man is Irish, well-educated, and is probably doing himself a favor by staying away from the craziness that The Simpsons family tends to attract. At least people who liked these two as a couple can hope Lisa and her man connected over social media and would try to make things work a few years down the line.
Fat Tony's right hand man
What would be an Italian mob boss be without the wise-guy Italian mobster who does his boss' every bidding and is good at intimidating people? Tony Soprano had it, Salvatore Leone had it, and Fat Tony has it with hard-working men like this. It's just too bad The Simpsons and FOX faced a lawsuit from a "Goodfellas" actor who claimed this character was based on him. We're trying to avoid saying too much not only so that you don't immediately get tipped off, but so that we don't get hit.
The always quotable, memorable...
"Hey, look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Look in your closet; there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I!" "Can't argue with the little things, it's the little things that make up life." "Back to the hammocks, my friend. You know, there's a little place called Mary Ann's Hammocks. The nice thing about that place is Mary Ann gets in the hammock with you." This character rocks big-time and we love him. What's his name?
Fat Tony's more-in-shape cousin
You have to give The Simpsons some credit for trying to retain normalcy in some way or another. Spoilers: Fat Tony winds up dying in one of the more recent seasons, paving the way for his cousin to come and replace him. Said cousin is in much better shape, but fully resembles Fat Tony sooner rather than later because the stress of ordering assassination hits causes him to overeat. Before looking like his cousin, what was the more-in shape Italian called?
Phil Hartman's impeccable, but flawed, lawyer
Oh, Phil Hartman. Can you only imagine what this lovable lawyer would be suing for today had Hartman not been killed by his insane wife 20 years ago? This ambulance chaser would be suing smartphone developers, Wall Street traders, and every other character in Springfield who uses sites like Reddit or Twitter for cyberbullying and mass-posting. Alas, now the show's main lawyer is this man's antithesis in the smarmy blue-haired lawyer. You have to remember this man's name, right
Homer's enemy and one of the easier questions on here
If you can't get this one right, you're definitely not a Simpsons fan. All this character had to show for his life of hard work was his haircut, his briefcase, his tie, and living above and beneath bowling alleys. Yet, Homer wants so desperately to be friends with him and doesn't have that opportunity when his enemy inadvertently kills himself when he has a nervous breakdown. Oh, and this character had a love for prostitutes, birthing a son in the process.
Another iconic role by Phil Hartman
Hi, I'm Dylan Jacob, you may remember me from such quizzes as "There’s No Way You Can Get 100% On This Name The 2010s NBA Star Quiz" and "Play ‘Smash Or Pass’ With These TV Beauties And We’ll Guess Your Type." That line right there comes from this in-series TV and movie actor, who has been in everything from documentaries to a Planet of the Apes musical. We love and miss you, Phil Hartman. What was this awesome actor's name?
A rich Texan who wouldn't look out of place in the NFL
Yes, he's known as the Rich Texan by seemingly everyone in town, but this man actually has a name. And that part about the NFL is funny because he owns the Boston Celtics as well. One of the Rich Texan's greatest scenes is him acknowledging he has obsessive compulsive disorder, shooting a gun in the air while proclaiming "YEE-HAW!", and stomping his foot four times and then repeating the process. Just so funny and great. What's the Rich Texan's real name?
Nelson's mother who at least finds ways to pay the bills
With all of the deadbeats in Springfield, at least give Nelson's mom some credit for working nights. It's not a luxurious job, but she does care for her son...and Frankenstein, who she once hooked up with in an unforgettable, strange scene. Most of the time, Neson's mom is just called Ms. Muntz, but she does have a first name that's said on occasion. Hint: it starts with an m as to continue the alliterative theme that many other characters have.
Homer's next-door neighbor and sometimes drinking buddy
When Bart would make his infamous prank calls to Moe in the show's earlier seasons, you would more often than not see this woman at the bar as well. As it turns out, she's the Simpsons' next door neighbor and has a daughter around Bart's age. We've also seen her hang out with Marge at points and try to replicate Thelma and Louise. Not bad! You may have some problems remembering her name at first, but we have faith in you!
The epitome of the benevolent old person
There are so many characters on this quiz who are insane, wacky, or just crazy. But this old man with the badass beard is a simple, benevolent old person who spends most of his days with Abraham Simpson and the others from the retirement home. We can only hope to have a beard that long if we make it that long in life. Nothing is guaranteed when you don't live in a world that never ages. What's this guy's name?