Eureka - at last, our ultimate assessment of health and well-being is now complete. After a period of research time and a considerable experimental budget, we've finally made the one test that will tell you - for sure - if you'll live to be 100.
How are we qualified enough to back such an examination? Well, that's an excellent question. We happen to be in possession of all the hard science knowledge and backing that is needed in order to relay proven information. We've studied, or at least have applied some thought to the field of health and well-being, for some time before embarking on this project. At this point, in retrospect, we can say that our test is quite tight, for sure. Are we doctors? In a small way, yes we are. But in the realest sense, we are absolutely not.
All this doesn't matter - what matters is you, and your life. It's going great, isn't it? Wouldn't it be nice to extend this party as much as you can? Well, thankfully, you're the one controlling your body machine. Life will throw you several curveballs along the way, but you always have the option to change your habits and change the way your body works.
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1Are you a positive person?
They say stress is a killer, and there's no better producer of stress than a negative mindset. If your thoughts mainly err on the negative side, the resulting stress might burn you out before you turn 100. Are you positive, or negative?
2How hydrated are you?
You're basically a walking tub filled with water and other stuff. All tubs need water, as do you. It's important to always, always stay hydrated. Anyone who's lived to 100 knows this very well. Do you water your body plant?
3Are you conscious of what you eat?
The food we put into our mouths influences the development of the microbiome, which apparently is responsible for plenty of bodily functions. Are you mindful of the things you eat, or do you just shark down whatever's in front of you?
4Do you exercise?
While it's good to be eating mindfully, a healthy diet combined with an optimal exercise routine sounds even better. If you want to be 100 someday, you need to be doing some exercise. Do you move your body vehicle in ways that improve it?
5Do you often get stressed?
Like we mentioned above, stress has been said to be indirectly responsible for a number of illnesses. Since living to 100 means being a lifelong soldier against armies of disease, it's better to avoid stress than invite it. Are you often stressed out?
6Do you drink lots of soda?
Through our looking glass, we saw a video that showed a drinking glass filled with the amount of sugar in a can of Coke. The glass was half full, with enough sugar to make a sweet apple pie. Do you drink that?
7Do you eat lots of fast food?
Everyone loves a good Big Mac every once in a while. In fact, just typing that magical sandwich made us run out and get one before we finished this entry. We're back now, but feeling discombobulated. Fast food isn't healthy to eat very often.
8Are you getting your vitamins?
Since we're self-appointed medical researchers, we can safely that vitamins are important and do lots of great things for the body. If you get your (actual, licensed) doctor-recommended dosage of vitamins, you'll have a better chance of making it to the big 1-0-0.
9Do you feel younger than you are?
Age is an abstract concept floating somewhere overhead, but we like to pay attention to it. Some of us do more than others, for sure. You can feel half your age or twice your age. At 100, you could feel 50.
10Any 100-year-olds in your family tree?
Genetics play a huge role in determining what kind of apes we become. You can control your fate, but remember that your DNA is always with you. If your family tree had/has some grand elders in it, you'll have a clearer road to 100.
11Do you like your work?
Considering that you spend a huge chunk of your waking, adult life at work, it's important for that experience to flow with what you're looking for in life. It ties into being a positive, happy, healthy person, to 100 and beyond.
12Are you optimistic about the future?
It's better not to think about the future more than the present, because time is weird. Of course, we all think about the future all the time anyway. When you do, are your thoughts happy or sad?
13How well do you handle stress?
Back to stress now. Even if you're perfectly prepared to allow stress to pass you by, you're bound to latch onto some anxiety every now and again. You're only human. When stress does get a hold on you, do you handle it well?
14Are you diurnal or nocturnal?
Diurnal means awake during the day, asleep at night; we didn't know that, either. It's the doctor-recommended way to live. When choosing our sleeping patterns, it's important to consider nature's clock and calendar, not to mention the habits of our ancestors over millions of years.
15Do you have a thing you like to do?
What's your preferred scenario here: living to 130 without anything really fun to do, or living to 70 doing what you love? How about this: live mindfully and passionately, and you can settle happily in between. Is there something fun that you'll always like doing?
16Are you an ambitious person?
That thing you like doing - how far are you willing to take it? To us, pursuing the furthest extent of a passion sounds like a good way to pass the time till 100. Do you have any crazy goals that you'd like to meet?
17Are you self-disciplined?
It's one thing to have long term dreams - definitely a good start. However, that good start can quickly lead to a long dead end if there's no discipline to back it. Those with a strong sense of self-discipline may very well be on the road to success till they're 100.
18Do you love knowing the people in your life?
It's not scientific, but you can imagine that love in your heart doesn't hurt your chances of living to 100. There's all those chemicals buzzing around the body, you know. Love is a healthy thing. Think about the people in your life - do you love having them around?
19Do you like going for walks?
The apes who came before us have been walking around for a super long time. Walking is as ingrained in our DNA as breathing. Okay, maybe not as much as breathing. Going for walks is healthy - do you do that?
20Are you an outgoing person?
Introversion is fun and interesting, but it's important to balance things. Those who are more outgoing tend to have a decreased risk of developing dementia later in life. There's people out there for a reason - consider reaching out once in a while, or accept them reaching out to you.
21Do you feel good about yourself?
If you want to live to be 100 years old, you surely don't want to be upset with yourself the whole time. We're not sure how that sounds to you, but it definitely sounds tedious to us. And very long.
22Do you stay up to date with what's going on?
There's always stuff going on, you know. Should you live to be 100, you'll probably be alive during a lot of important events of human history. These stories are always interesting, whether you're just taking them in as they come, or trying to string them together and figure out a bigger picture.
23Do you have a routine?
There's a lot of good to be said about a life lived free of any sort of schedule - at the very least, it sounds like fun. But we're not sure if it has the edge over a routine-based lifestyle in terms of longevity. If you have something to do, you'll always eventually wake up and do it.
24Are you a woman?
Women have an advantage in terms of lifespan right off the bat. Being a woman, when combined with living a gloriously optimized lifestyle, sounds like it could lead straight to an eventual 100th birthday. If you're a man reading this, you fight your way to 100 like a man!
25Do you want to live to 100?
Wait a second, do you even want to live to 100? We should have asked you this first. Time is weird - maybe you're 100 right now. That doesn't make any sense, but here's something that does: if you plan on living to be 100, it's good to start by knowing that you want to.