Take This Quiz And We'll Reveal Which Vampire Everyone Is Like
- by Theo Kogod
- – on
- in Movies and TV
Vampires are the classic goth characters that have lived on in our imaginations ever since Bram Stoker first published his masterpiece novel Dracula. The Transylvanian Count was a perfect character.He was powerful and utterly ruthless, using his wealth and prestige just as much as his supernatural powers to control his victims, controlling their minds and drinking their sanguine nectar. Of course, this Stoker’s novel was what popularized the genre, the author was himself inheriting a much older tradition. Before him there was “The Vampyre” by John William Polidori, and before that, aeons of traditional vampire lore preserved within the oral traditions of different cultures.
And since Dracula’s publication, there have been vampire stories of every kind imaginable as the genre has achieved the same immortality as its nocturnal characters. There are TV shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Strain, and The Vampire Diaries. There are grungy vamp action films like From Dusk Till Dawn and Lost Boys. Japanese anime such as Tokyo Ghoul and Vampire Hunter D have shown some amazing visuals within the genre while pushing it into new directions, even as steampunk pieces like Van Helsing and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen returned to the Victorian roots of the genre. Answer these vampire questions, and we’ll identify the most similar vampire!
Is vampirism a gift or a curse?
With a few exceptions, vampirism is not something one can be born into. One becomes a vampire after being turned by another vampire. This process is a mortal one, but in losing one’s life one becomes immortal and is imbued with certain supernatural powers. Is the embrace of this eternal state a blessing or a curse?
What is the greatest power of the children of the night?
The Children of the Night have many powers at their disposal. They are stronger and faster than humans. Some are also able to perform feats of mind control, or to change form. Some can take flight or turn into a cloud of mist or bats. What is the greatest of their infernal power?
Identify the greatest enemies of vampires.
Those who stalk the night take life into their hands, rising from coffins to feed on their victims. As such, they have earned more than a handful of enemies. From moon-howling lycanthropes to the orders of trained human hunters, there are many who work to put the unliving back in the ground. Which of these is their greatest enemy?
Which type of quarry makes the best prey?
Vampires must drink to live. Without sustenance, the unliving go mad, drained by the thirst until they are little more than beasts. Hence the reason why vamps must hunt. Those who feed on mortals to sustain their own immortality know not all mortals are the same. Some taste better. Others make easier victims. And that’s not even getting started on nonhuman options. Which is the best quarry on which to prey?
Thoughts on Dracula?
Count Dracula is the most famous vampire, and has been since Bram Stoker wrote his book of that name. While many people know the Count to be based on the 15th Century Romanian voivode, Vlad “the Impaler” Dracula, Stoker was actually chose the name after checking out a book from the Whitby Public Library that said explained how Dracula meant “Devil” in Romanian. Still, there is no denying Dracula’s influence. Give us some thoughts on him.
This animal makes the best familiar.
Many of the children of the night have the ability to make animals obey their whims. Bats are the obvious choice, winging their way through the sunless skies. Plague rats are another popular choice. Then there are black dogs, a classic ominous symbol. Name the creature that makes the best familiar in its service to the dark masters.
Where do vampires originate from?
Immortal beings who skirt the boundaries between life and unlife, vampires are a species whose origins are shrouded in mystery. Some accounts trace these creatures to the Biblical character of Cain. Other origin myths link them to the Hekate, Goddess of Witches, or to the Lilim, or the Circle of the Crone. Humans are too short-lived to ever know the truth. From the options below, choose the most likely origin of vampires.
Which of these things is the most dangerous to vampires?
Vampires might be incredibly strong lethal apex predators, but they sure do have a lot of weaknesses. Garlic, sunlight, wooden stakes, silver, and holy objects all seem to deal mortal blows to the supposedly immortal. Of all these baleful objects that can prove the undoing of the children of the night, which is the most destructive to their kind?
Tell us the word that best describes vampires.
No one is easily summed up in a single word. This is particularly true for magical hemophagic nosferatu who are sensitive to UV rays and are at once destined to live forever while somehow not being alive. Yeah, not exactly easy to sum up with a simple word, is it? Still, that’s what we’re asking, so give it a try.
Who is the most dangerous vampire slayer?
Vampires might hunt humans, but some humans hunt them back. They do this for different reasons. Some have been called to this task, Chosen Ones, like Buffy and the other slayers. Some are born to it, as is the case with Blade. Still others have religious or personal motivations. But of all these slayers, who is the most dangerous?
Name the best vampire movie from those listed below.
The way most of us encounter vampires is on the big screen. Oh, sure, there are some amazing books out there, and we live in the Golden Age of Television with shows like The Vampire Diaries, and The Originals all coming to mind. But really, the movies continually raise the stakes for what we consider good vampire stories. Which is the best vampire film?
Thoughts on humans?
Humans. They’re kind of a big deal here on Earth. History is written with a clear human bias (no doubt because humans seem to write so much of it) and most vampires used to be human at some point in time. How should the immortal nosferatu view these bipedal delicious circulatory systems that seem to be everywhere?
Which fashion accessory should no member of the unliving be without?
Being a vampire is about more than staying out of the sunlight and drinking the ichor of the innocent. It’s also about looking really really cool. There is an heir of mystery of be maintained, an incubic (or succubic) beauty, or else sense of monstrous predatory danger. And if clothes make the man, as the saying goes, then perhaps they also make the immortal. Which fashion item should a nosferatu never be without?
Tell us the series that most accurately reflects vampire lore.
There are a lot of ongoing series which portray vampires. It’s long since gone past being a cliché at this point. But that doesn’t mean these series are all the same. Some are faithful to the original lore. Other series seem to take creative liberties (like insinuating that vampires can sparkle). Which series is most accurate to the original lore?
What is the best vampire anime?
Anime has the ability to tell stories that other forms of media can’t quite seem to emulate. It is the strength of Japanese animation that makes it popular the world over. Some of the best anime ever made are about vampires. These range from action to dark fantasy to paranormal romance tales. Of the anime listed below, which is the best vampire anime?
Which country has the coolest vampires?
Vampire traditions differ from one country to another. The most famous kinds are based on the Slavic Upir. Malaysia has the Penanggalan, a flying suck-happy head with innards trailing after. In West Africa, the Asanbosam has iron teeth and iron-hooked feet, while the Icelandic Aptrgangr is a spiteful Viking whose rage resurrects them so they can attack those they knew in life. Which country has the coolest vampire?
Of the vampire hunks listed below, which is the dreamiest?
Vampires are gorgeous. At least, they can be. Sure, there are plenty of the Buffy-type face-deformed -creatures or pointy-eared bald Count Orlok. For the real He-Man hunks, there are some advantages, such as moving easily among human society and charming potential victims. Which of these vampiric lordlings is the most attractive?
Which of these female vamps is the most stunning?
Real lookers, vampire women have been portrayed as eye candy far more frequently than their male counterparts. This is not say they aren’t just as strong of characters. Indeed, some of the truly great vampire characters queens of the night. Which of these vamps is the most compellingly comely?
What is the weirdest weakness vampires have?
Vampires have weaknesses which might seem difficult to understand. As creatures of the night, they can’t abide sunlight, but somehow can be under the light of the moon, which is reflecting the sun. They can’t cross running water. They can’t enter a home without an invite. These are weird weaknesses, and we say this while knowing we’re describing something as strange as undead nocturnal sanguine-suckers who stalk the night. Which of their weaknesses is the most bizarre?
Pick the perfect type of human to feed on.
Humans make such delicious snacks. They’re like walking juice boxes full to bursting with warm hemoglobin. Some humans might even deserve to become nightstalker chow. To the hungry vamp, there are choices to consider when choosing a victim. Does one prey upon the weak or the strong, the guilty or the innocent? Pick the best possible food supply from those listed below.
Which actor gave the best performance as Dracula?
Dracula is the most famous vampire in history. As such, most actors to portray him give it their all, but still their performance falls flat when compared to the exploits of the original 15th Century Romanian voivode who had a tendency of driving wooden spikes through his victims. Which actor gave the most convincing performance of Dracula?
What traits should a vampire master seek in their human subjects?
Humans frequently work as servants to vampiric overlords. They prove useful vassals, looking after their nocturnal masters during the night, offering their necks as a source of food, and generally submitting to alpha predators that rule over them. Humans might be weak, but they can be quite helpful, running errands and managing the menial tasks that are beneath a nosferatu to stoop to (or which the truly old ones don’t know how to do). Which of these traits is most useful in a human servant?
How long should fangs be?
A charming smile is a great way to make friends and influence people. But yes, the suckers do have a somewhat over-pronounced overbite, so fangs a lot for noticing. If they’re too long, they’ll get in the way. Too short, and they’re no use at all. Just how long should a pair of fangs be to be useful for feeding?
Which historical era makes for the best vampire stories?
As vamps are immortal, they exist throughout time as a constant threat, feeding on humanity from the shadows. From the ancient world when monsters dwelled in the wild places beyond the city-states up through the medieval era of feudal monarchs and past the Early Modern era of steam and Victorian manners, these predatory hunters have stalked into the modern era. Which historical period makes for the best vampire tales?
Do vampires sparkle?
There are lots of acceptable variations on the appearance of vampires, but none has been more contentious than this one question. The vampires of Stephenie Meyers’ Twilight series famously twinkled in the sunlight. To fans of the series, this justifies the natural good looks of the vampiric characters. To those who dislikes it, this sparkletastic detail was harder to accept than the transforming into mist or not having a reflection. So we pose the question: do vamps sparkle?
How does a sire choose someone to turn?
Vampires sire new offspring from among the human population. In some stories, this is done with a bite. In other accounts, each must drink from the other in a willful act in which they both participate. What qualities does a vampire look for in a human being they choose to turn into a fellow member of the unliving?
Where should a child of the night sleep?
When the sun rises, those cursed to eternally prowl the night must seek shelter from its lethal rays. Many choose to sleep during this time. More still don’t have a choice, immediately growing weary as the first light peaks over the horizon, involuntarily slipping into an unconscious torpor. Where should nosferatu go to sleep through the reign of the day star?
Which of these does NOT count as a REAL vampire?
There are a lot of types of vampires out there. Some of them are pretty straightforward but a lot are nightmarishly bizarre. We’re also not sure everything that’s called a vampire counts as one. It can be pretty hard to swallow that some of these sanguine-suckers are vampires. Choose one of those listed below to stake out as definitely NOT a REAL vampire.
Can vampires cry?
This might seem like a bizarre question, but one has to really contemplate it from a biological perspective. And yeah, necrobiology was never anyone’s specialty in school. But c’mon! Can creatures who need to drink ichor really cry? And if so, are their tears made of saline, or something a bit more strikingly red?
How should a vampire control their victims’ minds?
Mind control is the purview of the undead, powerful psychics, and televangelists, but nowhere is it more dangerous than in the case of nosferatu. Mind control has a variety of methods. A spoken word or hypnotic stare could do the trick. So could a psychotropic agent in a vamp’s bite. How do vamps control their victims minds?
What role does religion play in the lives of the unliving?
Myth + Ritual = Religion. That is the equation many scholars of religious studies tend to use to simplify the definition of the term in daily conversation. In supernatural stories of immortality and infernal deeds, religion seems to take a more immediate role in events, what with crosses and holy water burning vampires and their general aversion to places of worship. What role does religion have in the unlives of vamps?
Do vampires have souls?
The nature of souls and their existence is one of those questions best discussed by the sorts of philosophers who like debating how many angels can dance upon the head of a pin (for the record, the answer to that is “π”). But when someone becomes a vampire, they are turned into an infernal sucker, so their soulfulness comes into question a bit more. Thus, we ask: do vamps have souls?
Are the unliving inherently bad?
Good and bad can be a relative concept in a lot of contexts, but the malevolence of the undead seems a lot less relative. Vampires are basically infernal apex predators possessed of necromantic power. To quote the legendary Buffy Summers “Can a vampire be a good person?” Try taking a bite out of this question.
Which slur is most insulting to vampires?
Words can hurt. Maybe not as much as being exsanguinated from fangs ripping into one’s larynx, but they still hurt. Insults are catered to the specific people they are directed at. It is hard to deliver a burn to a vampire that hurt them as much as the morning sun. What insults are like garlic to their feelings?
What is the greatest vampire romance story?
Eternal love. It is a natural story for those who share eternal (un)life together. There are some classic vampire romances to consider. Selene and Michael. Angel and Buffy. Louis and Lestat. Bella and Team Whatshisname. Dracula and Mina and Dracula’s three wives. Which vampire story tells the greatest tale of romance?
Where should one acquire their wooden stakes?
Few things can slay a vamp like wooden stakes, but as every slayer knows, those things don’t come cheap. It’s just not the same since COSTCO stopped selling them in bulk in the same aisle with the garlic mace and silver-plated samurai swords. Where should slayers acquire their wooden stakes?
Pick the most engaging vampire TV show.
Vampires on TV have gotten to enjoy some of the best stories ever to appear on screen, helped by the long-form episodic story structure, where audiences can watch these immortals grow in modern moments of dramatic peril. We want to know which is the most captivating TV show about vamps?
Choose the item best suited to a vampire’s style of combat.
Vampires are not like humans. They are stronger, faster, and possessed of a supernatural fury. They move differently. They also can’t be hurt be bullets or blades (unless these are blessed, enchanted, or coated in a substance like silver or holy water). For all that, they are still (for the most part) human-shaped. Given all these factors, which implement is best suited for vamps to wield when they go into battle?
Where are the best places to stalk human prey?
Humans gather in herds. Like cattle. Only more delicious. That humans are social creatures makes it hard to stalk them. Finding a reliable hunting ground means staking out a place where humans will regularly congregate and gather as a renewable food supply, but where there aren’t so many that the occasional drained cadaver will be noticed. Where is the perfect hunting ground?
Can humans and vampires peacefully coexist?
Nosferatu are predatory by their very nature. Humans are their natural prey. Despite this, countless stories feature romances, friendships, or partnerships where humans partner up with the unliving as an essential part of the plot structure. Is this just a naïve interpretation? Can the children of the night peacefully coexist with mortalkind?
Is science or magic better for defeating the children of the night?
Science versus magic is one of the great face-offs of fiction. With vampires, this affects how we understand the stories. Scientific interpretations of vampirism liken it to a virus, even calling the vamps “Virals” in some classic stories. In such tales, electric UV lights and anticoagulants to fight them, while religious objects have no effect. Magic vampires are hurt by crosses, prayer beads, and Stars of David, but also have access to greater powers like shapeshifting and control of animals. So, science or magic?
Pick the scariest non-European vampire
Most of the vampires we are familiar with are the European types inspired by Slavic lore, Viking draugr, and Irish tales of creatures in the mist. There are so many more. The harrowing Jiangshi from China. The sanguine-slurping “maneater” Rakshasas of India. The ancient Arabian ghouls who feed on corpses. The Adza from Ghana who can take the shape of a firefly, spread malaria, and possess victims. Which of these is the scariest?
Which of these historical figure was secretly a vampire hunter?
The movie still pictured here hit theaters in 2012, bringing back an old debate about ancient secret orders of vampire hunters and legendary figures fighting off occult threats. Honest Abe is far from the most intriguing figure to have supposedly taken a swing at annihilating the undead. Which historical figure was really a vampire hunter?
How many members form the ideal size of a vampire community?
Humans are social animals. Vampires are harder to determine the full social range of. Many seem to be solitary hunters, and indeed, loneliness and brooding alienation seem to be among the most heavily explored aspects of their stories. That said, many seem to gather in pods or covens, or even form huge feudal monarchies in modern cities. How many vampires is a good amount to form a community?
Choose the best vampire cult classic movie.
Not all vampire films are equal. Some are big Hollywood blockbusters built on action, suspense, or romance. But the best films are frequently cult classics. Maybe they had a big budget. Maybe they were indie flicks cobbled together on a shoestring budget of cheap Halloween costumes and red liquid capsules. Pick the best vampire cult classic.
What can vamps have beyond their favorite drink?
Part of why vamps have the reputation that they do is because of their drink of choice. Without it, they go mad, overcome by a tremendous frenzy. But what happens when they try to eat other food? Can they have anything else, or will it turn to ash in their mouth? And if they can have other foods or drinks, which ones can they have?
What types of place makes the perfect home for vamps?
Vampire hobos just are not as shiver-inducing as the iconic image of the dark vampire lord atop his ancient hilltop fortress. Thus we must conclude that vamps need a roof over their head (if for no other reason than to keep them safe from the sun). Which locale makes the best home for the unliving?
Which holiday do the children of the night celebrate?
Holidays are, quite literally in the most reductionist linguistic sense, holy days. As nosferatu are not holy, and as they do not particularly do well in daytime, celebrating holidays must seem anathema to them. Still, there are certain notable events that the children of night might observe, meaningful nights to mark the passing of time. What holidays to they celebrate?
Tell us the best vampire video game.
Video games are the modern interactive literature which has come to captivate audiences in the 20th and 21st Century. That they paradoxically are so new and yet can capture stories about immortal beings like vampires so well is an irony not lost on us. But take a moment to put down the stakes and take up a controller to tell us what the best vampire video game is.
Pick the genre of stories which make for the best vampire stories.
Genre is everything in storytelling. Sure, characters drive the story, but they operate within a set of rules defined by the world around them, and that world exists through the lens of genre. The sci-fi action Blade series has a very different aesthetic to its vamps than does a high fantasy like Vampire Hunter D or a Victorian gothic classic like Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Which of these is the best genre for vampire stories.
