There are literally hundreds of online personality quizzes designed to determine if the examinee is or is not a hipster. However, for the sake of this quiz, we’re going to work off the assumption that you absolutely are a hipster. Even if that’s a label you loathe with every fiber of your being, be a good sport and embrace it for the next 25 questions. If all 25 questions are read, comprehended, and answered, this quiz will determine with startling accuracy your true age and gender.
The following questions were constructed following careful research of hipsters of all ages and preferences. Interviewees ranged from those living in Brooklyn, the hipster capital of the world, to Dublin’s Temple Bar, which is sort of like the European mecca of hipsters and the hipster-esque.
So read on to learn where you stand on the hipster spectrum. Are you an ageing man desperate to cling to the last traces of youth by tying up what’s left of his hair in a man bun or are you a young girl who must rely on her parents to fuel her coffee and vinyl addiction? Maybe you’re neither. Maybe you’re somewhere in between.
Let’s get started and find out.
You walk into a bar, what do you order?
Okay, so it’s a little later in the day and you’re a couple of hours removed from your trip to the coffee shop. Now you’re standing in a bar. The music is blaring, the people are dancing, and you’re looking for something a little stronger than a hot drink. What do you choose?
You have a spare $20, what do you do?
There are few feelings better than sitting down to examine your finances at the end of the week to discover you have come in under budget and have some extra cash to spend whatever way you see fit. Let’s say you have $20 you weren’t expecting. How do you spend it?
Which of the below countries would you most like to visit?
Traveling is a great way to broaden the mind, but I think we’re all guilty of romanticizing certain countries. We spend our lives thinking about certain places so much that there’s virtually no chance of them living up to our expectations. Still, it’s good to get out of your home town for any length of time. If money was no object and you had a pilot on standby to take you anywhere in the world, where would you choose?
How do you spend a rainy day?
Everybody loves a sunny day, but a little bit of rain is nice every now and then. In many cases, a rainy day forces us to stay inside, pushing us to the limits of our imagination by forcing us to create our own fun. What is your go to activity on a rainy day?
Where do you get your news?
Although the news remains as violent and as depressing as ever, the way we get it has changed drastically over the past couple of years. With the world more connected than ever before, an event can become international news within just a couple of minutes. Where do you get your news from?
You have just arrived in Amsterdam. Where do you go first?
Amsterdam is fast becoming one of the most popular cities in the world. With its liberal attitude and lax laws, it's a great place to visit if you’re looking for a bit of adventure. Let’s say you have just arrived in Amsterdam for the first time in your life, where do you go first?
It is the final countdown to the end of the world, what do you do?
It’s finally happening. The long promised apocalypse is finally upon us and everything the Bible said was going to happen is happening to the letter. The sky is falling. The ground is breaking open. Once-adorable horses are breathing fire from their nostrils. It’s the final countdown, how do you spend it?
Choose your favorite singer-songwriter
Hipsters love singer-songwriters. I mean, everybody loves a good singer-songwriter, but hipsters seem to have a special thing for poetic lyrics pouring from the whiskey-scarred throat of a singer of questionable quality. Of the six beloved singer-songwriters listed below, who would you rather listen to during an exhausting cross-country drive?
What has been your greatest achievement this year?
Everybody has a couple of achievements of which they are proud. Even the sorriest sap on the street has won a competition or two. I know it’s considered impolite to discuss your own success, but I’m giving you permission to do so here. What has been your greatest achievement so far this year?
What is your favorite sport?
Hipsters generally don’t play a whole lot of sport, but for the sake of this question let’s say you are being forced to participate in one of the several hundred sporting events more athletic members of society delight in. It’s a bad situation to be in that’s for sure, but what sport do you choose?
What was the last website you visited?
There are literally hundreds of millions of websites on the internet, so you can tell a whole lot about somebody by examining their internet history and taking note of the websites they choose to spend their time on. Of the six websites listed below, which have you visited most recently?
You walk into a coffee shop, what do you order?
Hipsters are nuts about coffee and similar drinks. I don’t know what it is, but hipsters take to coffee like ducks take to water. Of course, they don’t actually swim in the coffee, but I’m sure most of them would take the opportunity to do so were it presented to them. What is your typical coffee order?
You’re late for work, what is your excuse?
Unless you’re the single most punctual person in the world, it’s safe to say you’re going to show up late for work at least once in your life. Being late is forgivable if you handle it right, but if you approach it the wrong way you could destroy your career forever.
If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
Hipsters generally play one or two instruments, although in most cases they don’t do it very well. If you could choose any instrument to become an absolute master of overnight, what instrument would you choose? To make things harder, you cannot choose an instrument that you can already play to any extent.
What is your favorite board game?
A good board game is one of life’s greatest pleasures. In fact, board games are one of the few remaining methods of relaxation that don’t involve looking at a screen for any length of time. Of the board games listed below, which would you like to be playing right now?
Which singer do you like that you wish you didn't?
People are generally happy to talk about the music they like, but even the most outspoken music fan has some musical preferences that they would like to keep to themselves. It’s safe to say you are a fan of one of the singers listed below. It is also just as safe to say that you wish you weren’t.
If you could have dinner with any author, who would you choose?
Stereotypically speaking, literature means almost as much to hipsters as music does. For many, reading is a way of life and a day without a book being bought or read is a day wasted. If you could choose one author, living or dead, to share a three-course meal with, who would you pick?
Choose your favorite talk show host
The talk show market is absolutely saturated and it doesn’t look like that’s going to be changing any time soon. There are dozens upon dozens of daily talk shows both on our televisions and our laptop screens, but just who do you choose to watch at the end of every working day?
What is your primary means of transportation?
Getting around is easy for some, but hipsters are often forced to get creative. In fact, it isn’t unusual to see some hipsters riding to work on a unicycle (although that’s generally just for show and very rarely necessary). What about you? What’s your primary means of transportation? We’re not putting in a unicycle option. Stop riding your unicycle, you look silly.
Your favorite flannel shirt has been ruined in the wash. What do you do?
There are few people this side of Mick Foley who love flannel shirts more than hipsters. If you’re a hipster, you likely have at least a couple of flannel shirts in your wardrobe, regardless of your age or gender. However, age and gender will influence how you react to said flannel shirts being destroyed.
How did you meet your last partner?
Much like news, dating has been changed forever by the internet and the supposed convenience that it brings. Dating websites and apps have taken the pressure off guys to approach girls in public, but many people insist on sticking to tradition. Do you? How did you meet your last partner?
What must a restaurant have for you to eat there?
Hipsters are infamous for being extremely picky eaters. For a hipster, finding a place to eat even the smallest meal is a tedious affair and requires many hours spent online, reading menus and reviews. What turns you off a restaurant? What must a restaurant have for you to eat there?
Which recent death upset you the most?
The celebrity deaths have really been piling up over the past couple of years, but it’s hard to think of any year that took the lives of more famous people than 2016. We lost some of the world’s greatest artists (along with some less impressive names). Which recent passing affected you the most?
Choose your ideal location for a night with friends
Everybody needs a good group of friends to help them relax after a tough week, even hipsters. Let’s say your chosen group of friends have left you in charge of choosing the location and activity for your next night out together. Where do you take them? What is your ideal location for a night with your friends?