Take The Quiz To Find Your Action Movie Alter Ego
- by Ben Sherlock
- – on
- in Movies and TV
Action movies are one of the most exciting genres of movie. Sure, horror’s great because it taps into your deepest human fears and comedy is fun because it makes you laugh but action’s got it all. Action movies have explosions, shootouts, car chases, foot chases, helicopter chases – all kinds of chases – and they top it off with witty puns and one liners to punctuate killing people or blowing up buildings (which they never, ever look at – they always have to walk away without turning back or even flinching, because that’s the coolest way to handle a nearby explosion). But action movies are more than just guns and violence and car crashes. They’re mostly that, but they can also feature deeply complex protagonists (or shallow and two-dimensional protagonists). For example, Die Hard’s John McClane is a hero, but he also has flaws: he neglects his wife for his work, he smokes, he gets broken glass in his feet – he’s a real human being. And Lethal Weapon’s Martin Riggs has lost his wife, which sent him on a downward spiral that spat him out in a trailer on the beach where he contemplates suicide – only to be brought back to sanity and happiness when his partner Roger Murtaugh accepts him into his family. Point is, there are plenty of different types of action movie hero. But which one are you? Are you a McClane, a Riggs, a Murtaugh, or someone else entirely? Take this quiz to find out!
Do you have a very particular set of skills?
This doesn’t necessarily have to be a set of skills that you gained from training to be a CIA operative. It’s just a very particular set of skills – it could be the skills to sell a used car or the skills to roast a chicken. Do you have a very particular set of skills?
Are you a fan of western movies?
Hans Gruber describes John McClane as “just another American, who thinks he’s John Wayne,” to which McClane replies by quipping that he’s always been a fan of Roy Rogers, which then becomes his nickname to the cops. Are you a fan of western movies?
Do you feel lucky?
Luck is a relative concept. The unluckiest people in the world can also be the happiest, while the most fortunate can be the most miserable. Luck isn’t related to happiness, but do you consider yourself to be a lucky person?
Are you reluctant to do things your friends ask you to?
For some people, being asked to do something by their friends is the worst thing in the world. They just want to kick back and do nothing, so when they do get asked to do something, they’re reluctant to agree. Are you one of those people?
Do you smoke?
If you smoke, that’s your decision and you have every right to do it. But there are these anti-smoking people who don’t believe that you have a right to smoke and actively protest against it. Anyway, are you a smoker?
Are you a fan of revenge?
As the old Klingon proverb goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. If you lost all your loved ones to assassins and had your body violated while you were in a coma, you'd probably be on the war path when you woke up. But some say the best revenge is good living. Are you a fan of revenge?
Which dog is cuter?
They say that dogs are a man’s best friend. Writers of action movies often give their protagonists a dog companion so that they have a living thing to vent their soliloquys to, and also because they’re adorable. But which of these is cuter?
Do you like the game Simon Says?
Simon Says is a fun party game, whereby a person (going by the pseudonym Simon) tells a big group what to do, and they’re only supposed to do it if they start by saying, “Simon says...” Of course, it’s less fun when a terrorist plays it. Do you like the game Simon Says?
Are you well-traveled?
Traveling the world is something that people often say they would like to do, and “I simply don’t have the time” is something they also often say – that’s their excuse for not ever doing it. But are you genuinely well-traveled?
Are you too old for this s**t?
It’s sad when you start to notice signs that you’re aging and realize that there are some things you used to be able to do that you can’t do anymore, and that’s where Roger Murtaugh’s catchphrase comes from. Are you too old for this s**t?
Which side of the law are you on?
Some people are able to make a career and an honest living – well, not honest – out of crime. But then others carve out their own careers and income from being on the other side of the law, fighting the crime, as a cop. Which side of the law are you on?
Would you do anything for your kids?
Everyone who has kids loves them and would do a lot for them, but not everyone would fly to Paris and beat their way through legions of Eastern European criminals to save their daughter from sex traffickers. Would you, though?
Do you believe in taking the law into your own hands?
The concept of the vigilante is an ethical nightmare. Sure, you could leave it to the police and the trusty justice system to work everything out, but we all know they probably wouldn’t. Do you believe in taking the law into your own hands?
Do you suffer from athlete's foot?
Some people, okay let's face it, most people, have dealt with a smelly shoe in their lives. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a shower and airing out your shoes. Sometimes it's a little more tenacious, like athlete's foot. Do, do you have it?
Do you suffer from PTSD?
A lot of the soldiers who came back from ‘Nam suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, and it drove one in particular out into the woods where he fought off the local cops one by one, waging a one man war against the whole department. Do you suffer from PTSD?
Which of these martial arts are you trained in?
Training in martial arts takes a lot of time and patience and determination, so very few people have the discipline to do it. But those who do can ably defend themselves against danger. Are you trained in any martial arts?
Would you serve in Vietnam?
Let’s say you got drafted in the US Army at the height of the Vietnam War and they expected you to fly out into combat immediately. Would you serve your country nobly or would you get a doctor to write you a note and flake out?
Which of these cities is your favorite?
Setting is very important in action movies, because they influence the action sequences. For example, the steeps of San Francisco are great for car chases. It’s also important for the protagonist’s life, because it’s where they live, so that makes it pretty significant. Which of these cities is your favorite?
Are you a lone wolf or part of a duo?
Some people operate alone. They track down the sex traffickers who have kidnapped their daughter alone and they travel to Paris to fight through them and get them back alone. But others have a friend with a sniper rifle off in the middle of the desert, watching the handoff. Are you a lone wolf or part of a duo?
Would you rather watch The Three Stooges or kung fu movies?
Kung fu movies like Shogun Assassin can be really cool, especially when they’re authentic Japanese productions influenced by real mythologies and ideas – and with cool, slick, bloody effects. But The Three Stooges are a classic comedy team. Which would you rather watch?
Samuel L. Jackson or Laurence Fishburne?
These are two iconic African American actors who have each become screen legends in their own right. Samuel L. Jackson brought Mace Windu to our screens, while Laurence Fishburne gave us Morpheus in The Matrix. So, who do you prefer?
Are you looking forward to retirement?
Some people love to work. They love getting up and going out and contributing to society and having a purpose in life. But others can’t wait for it to be over, so they can simply spend their days with their spouses and children. Are you looking forward to retirement?
Have you ever been in love?
A lot of people’s biggest dream in life is simply to fall in love. Of course, you can fall in love and lose it, but they say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Have you ever been in love?
Are you easily called back into action?
Are you just itching to get back into the game, or do you need to be wooed? For a lot of people, a boring life of barbecues with friends and karaoke machines for daughters leads you to jump right back into action as soon as someone close to you gets kidnapped. But some people are reluctant to go back to ‘Nam or to Afghanistan or to Burmese rebel territory. Are you easily called back into action?
Which of these actors is your favorite?
There have been some really great actors dabbling in and out of the action genre. For example, Sylvester Stallone is a charismatic and enormous man and he’s carved out a legendary status in the genre, whereas the immensely talented Liam Neeson was a tad late to the game, but has now become the king of action movies. So, which of these actors is your favorite of the bunch?
