Rate These Foods And We’ll Guess Everyone’s Sign
- by Michelle_Sanders
- – on
- in Lifestyle
Funnily enough, our food preferences can say a lot about us. For instance, if a person likes pretzels, it might be safe to assume that they enjoy crunchy, salty foods. Alternatively, if a person enjoys pancakes, it could be that said person prefers breakfast foods which are delicious. Okay, so it looks like the only thing that our food preferences reveal is, surprise surprise, our food preferences. We guess we shouldn't be surprised.
Well, it looks like the foods that we enjoy may not say anything about us whatsoever. But, ha! Like we're going to let that stop us from trying to deduce stuff about random strangers! Yeah, right. Dream on, people.
Anyway, it turns out, there are a lot of foods out there that people have super strong, super varying opinions on. We're not talking about foods like chocolate chip oatmeal cookies or lasagna or ice cream, okay? We're not talking about universal faves, here. We're talking about foods like caviar and mayonnaise and capers. Foods that people either love most ardently, despise with every fiber of their being. Here's the deal, guys. Rate these foods using our simple rating system, and when that's all done, we'll guess everyone's sign. Now, step right up! Who wants to play?
Raisins
Raisins, or, as we like to call them, geriatric grapes. We don't know which winemaker these unfortunate grapes got on the wrong side of, but we almost feel sorry for them. Sadly, most of our sympathy is reserved for ourselves. We keep it on tap for whenever we pick up a baked good off the counter in the break room thinking it's full of chocolate chips, but it turns out it's been sown with these seeds of pure, unbridled dried fruit blech.
Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate is so good for you. Sure, it can't compete with milk chocolate or even white chocolate—which, technically, isn't even a kind of chocolate per se, because it's just milk and sugar. But, on the plus side, at least it's bitter and hard to eat. Some people say they like it, though. We'll let you rate it though.
Chicken Nuggets
We didn't know it was possible to feel anything but the deepest love and affection for chicken nuggets, but we brought a party platter to a friend's housewarming once, and some of the party goers were *not* happy about it. Go figure, right? So, are chicken nuggs where it's at, or are they super duper overrated? You decide.
Sauerkraut
Sauerkraut is fermented cabbage. Now, usually, whenever we discover our cabbage has grown old in the back of our fridge, we just throw it out, but apparently somebody looked at their old cabbage and was just like, "Oh, yeah. Now's the time. That's good eatin'." What say you of this divisive food? Is it delectable, or is it merely *vomits*?
Key Lime Pie
Pie is one of those foods that's pretty much loved by everyone. But, here's the thing. Not everybody loves every kind of pie. Sounds weird, we know, but it's been pointed out to us by some people we know that such is the case. One of the most debated pies is Key Lime. People who love it REALLY love it. People who don't? Well, they just don't. Where do you stand?
Lobster
"What's this? An immortal long crab boi eating crap up from the bottom of the ocean? Looks like dinner to me! Honey, start warmin' up the garlic butter!" That's our interpretation of how somebody actually decided to eat lobsters. Look, we don't want to insult an entire species, but we're just not sure who decided this stuff was a delicacy. Are you a fan? Or, perhaps sensibly, nah?
Funnel Cake
Personally speaking, we love funnel cake. It's just a pile of fried dough squiggles covered in powdered sugar. Who could say no to that? But we do question funnel cakes being served at carnivals. In fact, we question foods of all kinds being served at carnivals. Yes, let's combine provide people with plenty of greasy, unsettling foods to people who are fixing to get on rides that will most likely make them hurl. That makes a lotta sense.
Chicken and Waffles
Wait...chicken and waffles? Why is *this* a dish that people might dislike? We don't want to influence your opinion, but fried chicken is delicious, and so are waffles, so we don't see how anyone could feel anything but utter delight upon being served this sumptuous dish. Maybe that's just us. Although we sincerely doubt it.
Circus Peanuts
Ever wonder what it might taste like if a stick of orange sidewalk chalk and a memory foam mattress pad had a food baby? Well, wonder no more! Circus Peanuts are a candy popular with...well, of course, these candies are extremely well loved by...alright, so we can't really think of anybody *right now*, but we bet someone likes them...right?
Fortune Cookies
Fortune cookies have a very specific flavor, and that flavor is staleness with a hint of bland. If these guys didn't have a piece of paper with some meaningless and vague prediction typed up on it, they would be complete losers. As they are, though, they're only sorta losers, and we guess in a loser context, that's as close to being a winner as they'll ever come.
Chili Dogs
When you get a craving for a chili dog, only a chili dog will suffice. We don't make the rules, that's just the way it is. But, you know, when you're *not* craving a chili dog, they really don't sound all that great. But! We aren't the judges here. You are. So, where do you stand?
Pumpkin Pie
Like Key Lime pie, pumpkin pie is one of those desserts that people have super strong opinions about. For us, it's a texture issue. It tastes like Grandma was in a pinch, so she decided to make a custard out of a jar of baby food that had been at the back of her cabinet since your parent was a baby, stuck it in a graham cracker crust and called it a dessert. But maybe not everyone feels the way we do about this stuff.
Sushi
Some people don't like raw fish, even when it's been rolled in an intricate way with other raw fish and a variety of vegetables and pickled things. Sorry if you find that hard to swallow, but there it is. Sushi is one of those foods that just isn't for everyone. But those who love it love it lots.
Potato Salad
We brought some potato salad to a family reunion recently. You would have thought we brought a jar of Jif to a party thrown by people who are allergic to peanut butter. Everyone wigged out. And, sure, it wasn't *our* family reunion, but still. There was no reason to get the authorities involved. If you didn't like the potato salad, you could've just said so. Calm down.
Lemon Poppyseed Muffins
Muffins aren't divisive. Everybody loves a good muffin, especially if it comes with a pat of butter and a cup of coffee. But not everybody likes the same kind of muffin. Banana nut, cranberry orange, chocolate chip—them's the popular flavors. Lemon poppyseed muffins, on the other hand, aren't a guaranteed hit with everyone. Where do you stand on this issue?
Beef Jerky
Don't get us wrong, we love the taste of beef jerky. Who wouldn't want to gnaw on a dehydrated piece of steak? Sounds like a good time to us! The only problem is, every time we break out a bagful of beef jerky, our TMJ acts up. Beef jerky, why you so jerky? Soften up just a skosh, okie doke?
Gumbo
If you've ever been to Louisiana, then chances are, you've tasted some gumbo. It's kind of a big deal in the south, probably because it's delicious with its okra, rice, roux and crayfish (although, full disclosure, ingredients vary). However, this stuff ain't for everyone, and we respect that. What's your stance on this stew?
S'mores
Had a camping-themed sleepover recently. Thought everybody'd be thrilled when they saw us break out the graham crackers, marshmallows and Hershey's chocolate bars. Not so. One of our guests rolled their eyes and said s'mores are vastly overrated. She was promptly escorted off the premises. Anyway, we guess s'mores are controversial? Who knew?
Onion Rings
Onion rings are often sold at 50's-themed diners and fast food joints as an alternative to french fries and/or tater tots. Onion rings prove that you could fry anything and it would be met with approval by the general public, however, there are a couple caveats when it comes to this food. They can give you bad breath *and* repeat on you for days.
Clam Chowder
Ah, clams! You know, the things that make pearls! Hey, when you're done ripping the jewelry from their foot/mouth/tongues, why don't you feel free to stick 'em in that boiling pot of chowder? Maybe if people get hungry enough, they'll eat some. Or, maybe they won't. Right now, we ask you. How would you rate this dish?
Jell-O
Jell-O is pretty popular among kids, but not so much because it tastes good, it's mostly just because it comes in fun colors and is basically just an edible toy. Squish that stuff around in the cup and it makes all kinds of fart sounds, and you know how much kids love fart sounds. We figure that's why it's such a hit, not because it's yummy. But, we could be wrong.
Pineapple Pizza
Alright, you knew we had to mention pineapple pizza. We're sorry if bringing this food to the metaphorical table stirs up strong emotions in you all, but it had to be done. Now's your chance to decide, once and probably not for all, if pineapple pizza is a legit food worthy of our love, or if it should be thrown into a fiery pit as many people believe it ought.
Buffalo Wings
Buffalo wings are tiny, plus they're served bone-in, which means they're kind of a pain to eat. Thankfully, they're also painfully spicy, causing your mouth to be set on fire with so much as the smallest of bites, so at least it's worth it! Also worth mentioning, it comes with a side of celery, so if you like that sorta thing, we bet you'll dig these.
Prosciutto
If you're not familiar with prosciutto, imagine bacon that's been sliced to the width of an atom and aged like a really smelly cheese. This stuff is potent, okay? It's got a powerful taste, and that can be a good thing or a bad thing, it all depends on your—or, rather, your tastebuds'—preference.
Hummus
We always imagined that hummus was invented when someone was making a PB&J, only when they opened their pantry, they discovered they were out of peanut butter, and all they had was a bag of chickpeas, so they decided to wing it, and this was the result. Maybe it came about in a different way, but we're pretty sure that's the real story.
Eggs Benedict
An English muffin topped with bacon, a poached egg and a delicious hollandaise sauce, we thought eating Eggs Benedict for brunch was the height of sophistication when we spent the night at a B and B with our bestie. She didn't feel the same way. In fact, she took one bite and gagged right there in front of everyone. So it looks like Eggs Benedict isn't a hit with everyone.
Tater Tots
Ah, yes. Tater tots. The tots of taters. Are these small potato children a worthy sidekick to a delicious hamburger, a scrumptious chili dog or an appetizing sloppy joe? The jury's still out when it comes to that decision. But instead of getting them back in the courtroom, we're going to leave this to you. Settle the score now!
Grits
Grits. Ever had 'em? They're made from corn, they're typically served with milk and butter, a lot like oatmeal or porridge or any other warm cereal. The thing about grits, though, is that they can be a tricky thing to make. Boiled for too long, and they get too sticky and mushy. Boiled for not long enough, and they're hard enough to break your molars. BUT! Boiled just right, and they can be...well, not great, exactly, but they're alright. We guess.
Liver and Onions
Everybody has that one food that, just hearing the name of it is enough to cause them to gag. For us, it's liver and onions. We don't mean to be dramatic or anything, but we would rather jump headfirst into a wood chipper than eat this dish. But, if you can stomach it, then more power to you.
Coleslaw
Why is the slaw's name Cole? Did it ask the chef who created it to be named that? Did the chef who created it pick that name because it was a favorite of theirs? We don't know how coleslaw got its name, but we do know this: it's only purpose in life is to take up a space on your dinner plate.
Candy Corn
Candy corn IS candy in that it's brightly colored and comprised almost entirely of sugar. But is it corn? We know that if you stack it, it kind of looks like corn on the cob, but where's the cob? Who thought corn was just the thing candy lovers wanted to eat? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE THINGS?!?!
Pickle Relish
Oh, yeah. Pickled relish is great. We still haven't been able to come up with any reasons as to why, but we've heard some people say they enjoy it, so we figured we would toss it into this mix, see what kind of reaction we get. We don't know, we guess this stuff isn't too bad on a hot dog. What do you think?
Deviled Eggs
The sins of these boiled hen-born creations are so heavy and numerous that they can only be described as "deviled". LOL, just kidding, but honestly, we would love to know why these appetizers are called "deviled" eggs. What did they ever do to you, besides taste not that great, but be the only finger food left on the snack table at the Super Bowl party?
Tapioca Pudding
Tapioca is a kind of starch that's extracted from the cassava plant, a type of woody shrub native to Brazil. We doubt that this information will make these small gelatinous balls any more palatable, even in pudding form, but we just thought we would mention it anyway. So, does tapioca pudding deserve an A+, or is it utterly yuck?
Guacamole
"WHAT?! Guacamole? How could it be that this food might be considered not that great? Don't you know that guacamole is the healthy superfood that dreams are made of?!" Were sorry to be the ones to break this news to you, home slice, but that guac you so adore? It's not for everyone. Indeed, some might even go so far as to say that this stuff is bland and has a gross texture. Not *us*, but we imagine somebody probably feels that way.
