Rate These Celebs In Yoga Pants, And We'll Reveal If You Can Pick Up At The Gym
- by Ricky Bambuto
- – on
- in Lifestyle
So, your current mission in life is to pick up at the gym, is it? Oh, we already knew that. We could tell by your hairdo. Just kidding, your hair looks fine.
Having a glorious coif is important, because the gym is a jungle. Here, the natural order of things follows accordingly; the more time an evolved primate has spent at the gym, the higher he or she places on the ladder of hotness and desirability.
There are plenty of ways you can go about picking up at the gym. For instance, you can bother everyone between sets of your dumbbell curls, saying in so many words why going for coffee with you is super worth it. Or, you can keep a safe distance away and eyeball every lady at the gym through the mirror. Maybe your plan is to do that through all your gym sessions for months until the right time strikes. That would be creepy, though.
As an alternative option, if you're looking to skip out on the mystery, you can simply take this test and find out how your gym pick-up game will go. We have a crystal ball, after all, and know everything that happens through time.
As it turns out, for this little challenge, you'll need to first tell us how these celebs rate in yoga pants. Things could be worse, we know.
Iggy Azalea
Holy yoga pants. We knew that Iggy Azalea can rap, but we didn't know she could... wear yoga pants like that. That's a talent that we definitely don't have. We can't rap, either. How would you rate this content over here?
Kaley Cuoco
Kaley Cuoco is internationally famous for her starring role in the TV series Big Bang Theory. Legions of nerds and non-nerds have fawned over her for years, and you can see why. Here she is in yoga pants - how would you rate her?
Rihanna
Rihanna once said, in a famous song, "B***h better have my money!" Now, it's clear why she needed to get that money back: to buy these yoga pants so she can show off her gluteus maximus to the world. Thank god for money.
Kate Hudson
Remember that classic rom com How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Well, let us tell you something 100% true: if Kate Hudson was wearing yoga pants all the time, there's nothing she can do in 100,000 days to lose any guy.
Miley Cyrus
Miley is coming in like a wrecking ball. You know this lady from her heaven-to-hell transformation, starting as Hannah Montana, then evolving into the semi-demonic Miley before settling back into an in-between form. As it turns out, she never needed that wrecking ball.
Zoe Saldana
Aside from being an awesome actress, Zoe Saldana has awesome assets. If you're trying to pick up at the gym, be careful how you rate this one. If you choose the wrong option, we'll go to your gym and pick up everyone so that you'll have no one left.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
In the perfect blending of new and old school yoga pants-wearing technique, Jennifer Love Hewitt is entering this quiz white hot. Put those sunglasses on, boys. Men have died from a glare like this. Yeah, you know which button to press.
Khloe Kardashian
Can you guess who this mystery person in the yoga pants is? Is her name written in the title of the question? That's absolutely right. Here's our first yoga pants performance of the Kardashian clan. If you're looking to pick up at the gym, you'd better rate correctly.
Minka Kelly
So, you've been pumping those weights and smacking that cardio for 7 weeks now, and the females at the gym still have yet to surround you in a mating ritual. We're trying to help you figure this out here. Trust us - just rate Minka Kelly in yoga pants.
Salma Hayek
You might know Salma Hayek from her performance as Frida in a movie called Frida. She was great in that film, but we're pretty thankful that she didn't bring Frida's unibrow with her when she was wearing these yoga pants.
Hilary Duff
Is that the sunset giving rise to the full moon. No, it's Hilary Duff in yoga pants. Those Disney days are long gone - here's Lizzie McGuire fully emancipated and ready to do a sun salutation. Or, maybe she's not that into yoga.
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston is coming in as the prowling mountain lion of this quiz. You'll know her as 1/6 of the classic Friends sitcom and as the face on a million magazine covers, for whatever reason. Would you try picking her up at the gym?
Ariel Winter
Her name might be Ariel Winter, but she brings a tropical beach with her everywhere she goes. While we can't say we've met Miss Winter, we sure have heard a lot about her. What do you think about this Modern Family star?
Beyonce
It's the Queen of the Universe - Beyonce. Seriously, Beyonce is empress of all things. If you don't think that way, maybe you'll never pick up at the gym. Or, maybe you will. We're not telling you how we formatted this quiz.
Ariana Grande
Ariana Grande is here, and wow is she ever here. If you've never seen this young singer in yoga pants before - here she is. Now, isn't that something remarkable to see? We'd like to know what you think about that.
Kylie Jenner
It's the queen of... whatever the hell she's queen of. For whatever it's worth, if Kylie Jenner lived in a kingdom ruled under yoga, she would be the queen of yoga pants. Here you are: Kylie Jenner, queen of yoga pants.
Jennifer Lawrence
After proving herself as one of the world's best actresses, Jennifer Lawrence sought out another objective: to dethrone Beyonce as Queen of the Universe, first by beating her in a yoga pants competition. Will she win? Does she even have a chance?
Kim Kardashian
Oh no, here comes Kim Kardashian. Don't you dare lie - you knew long before taking this quiz that you'd run into Kimmy at some point. Kim Kardashian invented yoga pants in a parallel universe and brought them to ours. The question is, how well does she wear them?
Megan Fox
Remember that iconic Transformers scene, when Megan Fox was leaning over Shia Labeouf's car, trying to fix it for him? She was wearing jeans in that scene, but she definitely should have been wearing yoga pants. Would you not agree?
Sofia Vergara
They say that Vergara, in its Spanish to English translation, means "Apostle of the rump". We have no source to verify that, and it's probably not true. What's definitely true is that Sofia knows how to rock a pair of yoga pants. Right?
Nicki Minaj
If ever you need your yoga pants filled, call Nicki Minaj. She'll fill them right up, in no time at all. If you have any doubts about that, look at how she fills up those yoga pants right there. If you'd ask us, we'd say those yoga pants are filled and can take no more of whatever's in them.
Vanessa Hudgens
Vanessa Hudgens is like a sweet angel who can sing you a lullaby and enact classic fables before you with her amazing acting abilities. Also, she can walk by you wearing yoga pants, and totally make your day. Is your day going better after seeing her here?
Kendall Jenner
The purist of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, Kendall took some clean notes from her family members on how to rock out wearing yoga pants. Sit back, have a Pepsi, and think about how you'd rate Kendall in yoga pants - your gym pickup game might depend on it.
Jessica Biel
Jessica Biel is known as one of the toughest dames in Hollywood, both on-screen and off. Do you know what else she's known for? Can you venture a guess? That's right - making banana bread out of used iPhones. And wearing a great pair of yoga pants.
Scarlett Johansson
If you're paying attention, you'll notice an observable trend in Scarlett Johansson''s films: that she's crazy hot, enough to make the viewing experience freaky. In fact, our research is conclusive in ranking her as one of the top three hottest women in this quiz. The question is, how do you rank her in yoga pants?
Amber Rose
When it comes to celebrity beefs and scandals, Amber Rose's name has popped up more than a few times. Of course, it's not hard to see why - a yoga pants performance like this is sure to stir some conflict. Are you feeling conflicted?
Margot Robbie
Margot Robbie made wolves of millions of men when she played a wild dame in Wolf of Wall Street. Now she's here to finish the job, and her weapons of choice are her yoga pants. No one can resist her might, not even you.
Nina Dobrev
Nina Dobrev is considered to be one of the most beautiful celebrities working in 2017. Whether or not that's true is pretty obvious (come on now), but we want to know what you think of her in yoga pants. And you want to know if you'll be able to pick up at the gym.
Emma Stone
Emma Stone is one of the most lovable, versatile actresses out there. Since bursting into the scene with the movie Superbad in 2017, she's proven herself to be a true force in Hollywood. But, has she proved her skills in yoga pants?
Sophie Turner
Sansa, what are you doing? There's no yoga pants in Winterfell. Winter is here - it's cold! Oh, that's not Sansa, it's Sophie. Sorry Sophie, we were confused. By all means, you can just continue going wherever you were headed to.
Katy Perry
Ever since Katy Perry told us that she kissed a girl, we wanted to hear more. Since then, she's told us plenty of things through her chosen medium of song, and we appreciate every word of it. You know what else we appreciate? Yoga pants.
Jessica Alba
The silent stripper of Sin City is here, and she showed up in crazy yoga pants! How dare we look without our sunglasses - the glare! Ah, that's better. Sunglasses on, boys. Now, take a good gander and tell us your rating.
Olivia Wilde
Inside the movies and out, Olivia Wilde is known as a cool, loveable, beautiful person. Outside the movies, we sometimes get the chance to see pictures of her in yoga pants. Of course, this is not something that we can complain about.
Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift split the world in half with hit song after hit song over the last few years. What a tremendous talent, there's no doubt about that. What we're wondering is this: is there a doubt about her yoga pants skills? What do you think?
Amber Heard
Amber Heard, aside from being analyzed by early AI as the most beautiful woman in the world, is quite gifted in the yoga pants department. Taking one look over here should relay that fact quite well. Unless you disagree? Let's see.