Obviously, the food pyramid is the way to go when it comes to meeting nutritional requirements. It's important for all of us to get our daily allotment of vegetables, fruits, dairy items, meats, fats, grains and whatever the heck else is on that bossy food triangle. Look, we know what we should be doing, how we should be eating, but here's the thing: we just don't care.
See, the way we figure it, this here is our life. That means that we get to make the decisions, at least when it comes to what we eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, as well as all of our various desserts and snacks. Which means if we want to completely disregard personal nutritional requirements in favor of eating nothing but bowl after bowl of different kinds of cereal, then that's exactly what we're going to do, gosh darn it!
So it's plain to see by now. We love cereal. One other thing we love? The Big Bang Theory! So we figured, hey, why not combine the two? Take a minute to rate these breakfast cereals using our very simple rating system—a scale of one, two, three or four stars—and get a Big Bang Theory character twin. Consider this the new prize inside the box!
They say that Lucky Charms are magically delicious, and they weren't kidding. We mean, the cardboard bits are nothing to write home about, especially once they get soggy in milk, so you can keep those things, but the happy, colorful little marshmallows? Ugh! How are we supposed to say no to them?
Colorful little donut-shaped bits of yum, Froot Loops are a favorite in any household. As far as cereals go, it takes Froot Loops quite a while to get soggy, which is a definite check in the pros column, plus they turn the milk fun colors and make it taste fruity, so add that to the list, too.
Honey Nut Cheerios
*Car salesman voice* Now, here you've got your Honey Nut Cheerios, a very reliable cereal model, it's been on the market for a long time, but the overall design has stayed basically the same throughout the years. This is a great starter model for anyone interested in getting into the cereal world, a good entry-level cereal. It'll satisfy your cravings and keep you full and focused, and many bowls of this cereal are still on the road after ten years!
It's funny, but we have never, ever, not even once in our life craved actual, real fruit for breakfast—or pebbles, either, for that matter—but we can't even count the number of times that we've craved Fruity Pebbles. They're so festive looking and so darn delicious, we've always got a box of this stuff on hand. Such a treat.
Eating chocolate for breakfast? That's a sign of a problem, and we know that because we have been there. You tell someone you ate chocolate for breakfast and they immediately become concerned that you're not capable of being a responsible adult—and, to be fair, they may have a point. However, eating Cocoa Puffs is a safe, reliable, completely judgement-free way of sneaking chocolate in to any breakfast, and the taste is deeeeelicious!
Why is this stuff called Cap'n Crunch? No, no, we don't have a punchline for that, we're serious, why is it called that? Is this what sailors eat out on the sea? They got a bowl of his in one hand, the wheel of their vessel in the other, a parrot on one shoulder, peg leg, patch over the eye, the whole shebang? Because we hope so. We certainly hope so.
It...is...ALIIIIIIIVEEEE!!! Okay, so maybe Franken Berry cereal is nothing like Frankenstein or his reanimated corpse of a monster, but we actually think that's a good thing, to be honest. Hot pink bordering on highlighter orange pieces mixed with bits of marshmallow, this monstrous cereal is a huge hit that packs a delicious and fun flavor punch.
Geriatric grapes stingily sprinkled into a bag of bran flakes, how could a cereal like Raisin Bran *not* be good? Sorry. Guess we're still bitter about this stuff because it was the only cereal our grandma had on hand whenever we spent the night at her house. She refused to feed us anything else because this stuff was "healthy", and, yeah, so it's not that bad, but still, we were kids! We wanted the good stuff, not Raisin Bran. Sheesh, Grandma, what were you thinking?!
Frosted Mini Wheats
When we see the word "frosted" on a cereal box, we don't even need to know anything else. That's the only bit of information you need to tell us in order to seal the deal. We're immediately on board. Seriously, we'll buy Frosted Mini Wheats, essentially chunky, unsalted Triscuits, so long as they're frosted. It's that simple.
Um, is Life cereal supposed to be a metaphor for actual life, or does its name imply that if gives us life, or...? What exactly? Ah, never mind, we love this stuff, in spite of the fact that we have no idea why it's called Life. It's satisfyingly cinnamony, it's crunchy and sweet. Truly delicious.
If we can't have Rice Krispies mixed with melted marshmallows and butter, then...well, we guess that's okay. To be sure, we would much prefer to snack on Rice Krispies in their classic "treat" form, but we love us a good bowl of this without all the bells and whistles, too. They're a little bland, but in a good way. We like it.
We don't know Tony the Tiger personally, but we trust him. We know that that great cartoon feline would never steer us wrong. He told us these Frosted Flakes are "Grrrrrrrreat!" and he wasn't kidding. And because Tony the Tiger was so sincere in terms of breakfasts, we would trust him with out life.
Anything with "corn" in its title is bound to be good. Corn on the cob, candy corn, popcorn, and on and on it goes. And, of course, Corn Pops are also on that list, somewhere very near the top, because they're just so darn good. Irresistibly sweet with a pleasant snappy crunch, a bowl full of these puppies is pretty hard to beat.
If graham crackers are your thing and gold is your fave precious metal, then, boy, howdy, do we have the cereal for you. Golden Grahams are delicious squares of crunchy yum sprinkled in cinnamon and sugar and, yes, when combined with just the right amount of milk, it really is as magical as it sounds.
Chex is so great not just because it's a delicious cereal, but because it's so versatile. You can mix it with other little bite-sized goodies and create a tasty snack, a finger food that's just perfect for parties. Plus, they look like little woven baskets. We don't know if that's a good thing, but it's definitely not bad.
Honey Bunches of Oats
With the flakes and the signature Honey Bunches of Oats, this cereal is one that's hard to top. It's got all the appeal of a basic granola, but with the flair of regular cereal, too, so it captures the hearts of avid breakfast cereal fans and health nuts alike. There are several variations of this cereal, some of which have fruit for even more healthful yum!
We don't know who decided to combine our love for chocolatey cereals with our love for fictional cartoony vampire mascots, but we would just like to take this opportunity to thank them. Count Chocula cereal is all marshmallowy goodness, and the shaped pieces turn our regular milk into chocolate milk. This may as well be magic.
Back in our day, Trix cereal actually came in shapes. Guess the manufacturers got lazy 'cause now they're all balls, and that's fine, we guess, but we miss the shapes, that's all. It was more fun that way. But, the good news is, they haven't altered the recipe at all. Trix cereal is still as sweet and scrumptious as ever, so we're still big fans.
Eating cookies for breakfast is frowned upon. However, when you shrink those cookies down to, say, the size of a half-dollar, and you toss a whole bunch of them into a bowl with milk? Ha! Well, now, it's not a "sign of a problem", it's "all part of a complete breakfast"! How does that work? We don't know, but don't question it, just roll with it, people.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
We love cinnamon toast and we love cereal and we often find ourselves in such a quandary because, for the life of us, we just can't decide between the two. Then we remember, oh, yeah! Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a thing that exists and, while it may not be able to solve *all* of our problems, it can definitely solve this one.
Learning is so much more enjoyable when food is involved, and vice versa, by the way. It adds incentive. It's so much easier to remember things when you know that by remembering them, you'll be getting a tasty prize. That's why we loved Alpha-Bits when we were little. We learned all 26 letters of the alphabet in no time at all because of these tasty treasures. Thanks Alpha-Bits!
Grape nuts, made from neither grapes nor nuts, low-key taste like cardboard and high-key will break all of your teeth. This cereal should come with a label that says "Absolutely positively DO NOT under any circumstances eat without milk" because doing so will certainly result in an orthodonture-related travesty. Maybe Grape Nuts are dehydrated, and we're supposed to let them soak in milk overnight before we eat them? Still haven't figured this cereal out, to be honest...
Sadly, we aren't allowed to eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for breakfast, and not because it's socially unacceptable, but because our mom told us not to, and she knows a lot of people, so someone would probably spot us then rat on us. HOWEVER! We have great news because Reese's makes a cereal calls Reese's Puffs, and it's every bit as delicious as the candy—so there, Mom!
Honey Smacks is a puffed wheat cereal made by Kellog's, so naturally the mascot for this product is a frog. LOL, actually, we have no idea what frogs might have to do with honey or smack, but, you know what? Who cares? We certainly don't. this stuff is tasty. We already want another bowl and we haven't even had one yet.
It never ceases to humor us the fact that so many people, including us—no, scratch that, make it most especially us—will outright refuse to eat fruit for breakfast, and will then turn right around and eat something that is significantly unhealthier but has a fruit flavor. That said...we love Apple Jacks! Waaaaaay better than real apples. Like, no contest.
Our sources say that Honeycombs cereal isn't made from real honeycombs, like, the stuff that comes from honeybee hives. It's just a cereal in a shape that's somewhat similar to honeycombs flavored with real honey. We don't have anything to add to that, we just thought we would let you know. Also, this cereal is delicious. That is all.
It's not called "Your Average Everyday K" or "Boring Old Ordinary K". It's called *Special* K, people, and don't you forget it! Special K really is special, that's why we only break this cereal out when we've got good news to celebrate. When we get a promotion, for instance, or when one of our close friends gets engaged. This is the filet mignon of cereals, it's time we all start treating it with respect.
Boo Berry cereal isn't the least bit spooky, except when it comes to the flavor. Because while we are not even a little bit afraid of these blueish purple pieces or the marshmallows mixed with them, we are quite afraid of how delicious they are together. It's eery how delicious this stuff is. So we guess it really does put the "boo" in Boo Berry.
Wouldn't it be perfect if you could eat cookies and milk for breakfast? Well, now you can! Oreo O's cereal is basically just a bunch of Oreo cookies. They may be shaped like Cheerios, but don't let that fool ya none, they're just as cookie-ish as the cookies they're named after. Perfect for the first meal of the day, for a snack *or* a dessert. Yum!
The thing about granola is it isn't a brand of cereal, it's just a type of cereal. It's not like Cap'n Crunch or Frosted Flakes, it's pretty much just anything that's a combination of grains. Oats, barley, wheat, this cereal can also include seeds, nuts, fruits and other things you might imagine a bird or a horse enjoying. Usually with just a touch of honey, and often found at those hipster health food stores, we have to admit, we have a soft spot for this stuff, even if it does get stuck in our molars.
Kashi Go-Lean tastes like a deconstructed granola bar. Like, Kashi hired somebody to make an actual granola bar, but the person they hired lied on their resume because they needed a job so they could put a down payment on a condo and finally get out of their parents' house, but they weren't even a little bit qualified to be mass producing granola bars, so they didn't succeed, but then Kashi wasn't even mad they were just like, "Whatever, dude, we'll just take these bits, bag 'em up and sell 'em as cereal." And then they did. But, hey, it worked. We love it.
Was there anything better than pouring a bowl full of these bad boys before snuggling into our bean bag chair in our bedroom to watch Reading Rainbow every afternoon after school? We don't think so. Crunchy even in milk, Kix cereal occupies a special place in our heart. Tastes like sugar-coated nostalgia.
Fiber One. Hm. We were going to try to say something nice about this stuff—not that we're going to knock it. We've got no problems with Fiber One, it's just that...well, when you're eating Fiber One it's not because it tastes good. It's because of *other reasons*, ya dig? We like you, Fiber One, but you're more a medicine than a delightful breakfast cereal option.
Quaker Oatmeal Squares
Quaker does one thing and they do it well. That thing? Oatmeal. And we're big believers in the whole "don't mess with it if it ain't broke" thing, but when all you have to offer is oatmeal, why *not* try to spice things up a little bit? This Oatmeal Squares cereal may just be oatmeal in Mini Wheats' clothing, but we enjoy them. Good job, Quaker.
We are all about the cereals that are really just desserts for breakfasts, even though they try to play it down. Like S'morz cereal, for instance. It's got the marshmallows, it's got the bits of chocolate, it's got the graham cracker pieces. It's a campfire dessert that substitutes the campfire for a heaping helping of moo juice. Count us in.