Take This Quiz to Reveal If It's The Right Time to Have Kids
- by Dylan Jacob
- – on
- in Entertainment
Spring is the time of new life and, as we're just a couple of weeks after Valentine's Day, you may be finding out sooner rather than later that you're bringing new life into this world. If so, congrats on your new child!
If you're a bit uncertain as to if you and your partner are ready for children, maybe this quiz can help you. We'll ask you some questions about your relationship, you tell us what applies, and we'll tell you if you should have children.
There are a couple of ground rules/things to note, so let's go over them:
There's really no trigger warnings for this other than a question or two discussing pressure to do things. There's nothing graphic in any of these questions or their descriptions, but the thought of being forced or pressured to do something for a relationship may be triggering to someone, so there's that.
This is just a little bit of fun. Don't worry about the results, still have kids whenever you're ready, all this quiz will tell you is if now is too soon, or if you're more than ready to start thinking of having a family with (or without) your loved ones.
Do you feel that the other person in this relationship understands you?
Understanding is important in any relationship, whether it's understanding why you need to cook more or why she gets upset that you leave the seat up. If a relationship doesn't have understanding, then it also doesn't have good standing. Do you think that your partner does a good job of understanding you?
Are you able to speak freely to your partner about things that bother you?
If there's a problem, you have to address it, regardless of what you feel the outcome is going to be. Maybe you're angry that he's not cooking as much as he should or she's being too cold when you try talking to her. Do you feel you can bring up things that bother you?
Do you take a genuine interest in each other’s lives?
This is one of those questions where you'd automatically want to answer yes because it's the right thing, but really think about this one. Maybe he has some weird show he's into that you don't care about for whatever reason. Be honest here and pick what you feel is true.
Do both of you pursue individual interests?
It could be something as simple as video games or it could be something like a book club. But individual interests are so important because it means you two aren't always intertwined at the hip and doing things against your will. Can you really say this about your relationship?
Is this relationship the only important relationship in your life?
You can include relationships with your family here, but what about your friends? Co-workers? Classmates? Are you only having a meaningful relationship in terms of caring and compassion with your partner? Because if so, that can be good and that can be bad, but we'll let you decide.
Do you believe that you are a worthwhile person outside of this relationship?
I know all of these questions are important, but really take the time to think about this one. Do you truly believe that you are a worthwhile person outside of this relationship? If not, that's not much of a problem because it can be fixed, but answer this one honestly.
Do you expect this person to meet all of your emotional or physical needs?
Yes, this includes sex, intimacy, and everything that comes along with that. But as The Wire pointed out, intimacy can even be something as tickling your partner. Then, there's the emotional aspect, which is pretty self-explanatory. Do you think that your current partner is able of meeting those needs?
Is your relationship often threatened by others?
Look at these people. They're so happy. In fact, part of why they're so happy is because they know that no one else is going to try interfering with their relationship, not exes or family or friends. Can you really say the same about your own relationship?
Can you be yourself in this relationship?
This is the million dollar question, isn't it? You need to be able to be yourself in any relationship, regardless of what the context is. If you're not yourself, then who are you? Just who your partner wants? If that's the case for you, maybe you need to find a new relationship entirely.
Are you uncomfortable sharing your feelings with this person?
I mean, if the answer to this is yes, I think you know that's not how a relationship should really work. Hasn't the point of this quiz so far been about how important communication is? You need to communicate with your partner and let them know what's wrong, alright?
Do you both work to improve the relationship when things are wrong?
Not every relationship is going to be perfect for 365 days a year. In fact, no relationship will ever be perfect. So when things do go wrong, both sides have to work together to address the problems and work on fixing them. Are both of you each trying to fix things?
Do you feel good about yourself?
The difference between this and other questions we've asked - and will ask - is that you can feel comfortable or happy in a relationship, but not so happy with yourself for one reason or another. At this very moment, do you really feel happy with who you are as a person?
Do you feel you have become a better person because of this relationship?
If you and your partner aren't' becoming better people from your relationship, then you're either angels sent down by God Himself or things aren't what they seem. You will learn things from the person you love and they will learn things from you, both good and bad. Is this how you'd describe your relationship?
Can you both accept changes in roles and feelings within the relationship?
Things are going to change and there may be times where you doubt the decisions your partner is making. But are you able to accept those changes and maybe even help them? It could be a change like losing a job or it could be something as simple as a diet.
Are your relationships with their family and friends - and vice versa - healthy?
Maybe her best friend is racist or his dad is critical of you staying at home to potentially raise a child. Friends and family aren't always the best people involved in relationships, but getting along with them in at least a polite way can be make-or-break sometimes. How would you describe those relationships?
Do you both have equal decision-making power in your relationship?
I mean, this is something that really should be a given in any relationship, but we should clarify something. If someone is better at something (i.e. cooking) and they do the bulk of it, that is not bad. But ya'll need to make close to equal decisions for this to work, you know?
Do you always feel safe with each other?
Again, this should be a given, and we're not just talking about if the person is a domestic abuser. We're talking about feeling safe in general when you're worried about something. Being and feeling safe is important, but you know that already. Just answer this one as honestly as you can.
Do you both apologize when you're wrong?
People are going to fight over stupid stuff, that much is a given. But is it only one of you that is apologizing, or are both of you stepping up, acknowledging what went wrong, and trying to figure out where to go from here? Be honest here, you know which one it is.
Do you support each other's individual goals in life?
Individual interests and individual goals are two different things. If your wife wanted to go vegan or your husband wanted to leave his job and try to start his own business, would you support them in what they want? Or, are you going to prevent them from pursuing those dreams?
Do you allow each other space?
You can't always be super clingy, especially not as you grow older in life. You have to be able to give your partner space if that's what they want - and if you two are fighting over something, giving one another space is so important to preventing a problem. What's your answer?
Do you feel pressured to have sex?
Sex is a wonderful thing, as you most likely know, but you should never feel pressured to have it. That extends to just your partner wanting to always have sex, your partner abusing you into having sex, and all of the worse situations you can get into. What's your answer?
Do you each control your own money?
Now at times, this can be both good and bad because if you leave someone with their own money, they can waste it on things like drugs or alcohol. At this time, and this could obviously change later, but do you currently have your own money and your partner theirs?
Do you trust your partner with their money?
Whether it's your money, their money, money that's loaned to you, whatever. Do you trust your partner with money, or do you have to watch over everything they do like a child? There is not really a wrong answer here, but we're curious to see where you stand.
Do you respect each other's opinions?
If you didn't believe that people would ever have differing opinions, just look at today's political climate where partners are fighting about gun control, our politicians, social media, etc. Are you able to respect whatever your partner believes without there being a fight, or are you going to battle them?
Do you think you could go on without this person?
I know you don't want to think about this relationship ending, whether it be a breakup or even death, but those types of things happen and you need to ask yourself just what would happen if you and your partner were no more. Could you actually go on?
Does my partner ever act jealous of my friends/family? Or you with theirs?
Jealously is a natural human emotion and we'd be lying if we said we didn't feel it at least once we were jealous of the people around those we care about. Maybe it's an old ex that's now her best friend or something like that. How do you feel?
Does your partner, or you, treat the other like a child?
Whatever the reason, maybe there's times where you do treat your partner like a child, like not letting them go out with their friends or telling them they can't eat something for dinner. People do that kind of stuff in relationships, you know. Are you or your partner like that?
Have you, to this point, been faithful to each other?
You may want to answer this question discreetly if the answer is no - and this is the only question on this quiz without a sometimes answer because it's either you've been faithful or you haven't. Start playing the Rihanna music already and go answer this question!
Do you think you and your partner each would have answered the same ways as you?
So let's say you and your partner each took this quiz and you decide to compare your answers, one by one. Do you really think you two each would have answered all of the questions the same as the other? For this one, sometimes refers to sometimes thinking that'd be true, but you're not 100 percent certain.
Do you think about having children?
Well obviously, you're thinking about having children if you're taking this quiz. But I want you to really think about this: have you truly thought about having children and what all of that would entail? Or do you just want to have one and roll with the punches?
