Pokemon Battles: Pick The Winner And We'll Guess Your Favorite Pokemon
- by Ricky Bambuto
- – on
- in Movies and TV
Welcome to our Pokemon Gym! This is the best gym of all the gyms, you can take our word for it. Because in this gym, we have access to all the Pokemon in the world, and we can pit each of them against each other to see who's best.
What's that? This looks a lot like caged dog fighting? Hey, get out of our gym! We don't tolerate that kind of speech here.
Don't you know that it's in a Pokemon's blood to battle with one another? Have you ever wondered why Pokemon were gifted with all these magical abilities? Why do you think Machamp has two extra sets of arms? So he can serve you and your partner breakfast in bed without having to go back to the kitchen to get the second tray?
No, that's not why Machamp has two sets of arms; he has them to fight other Pokemon with. That's what Pokemon do: they fight, and they love it more than life itself. Keep those blasphemous thoughts to yourself, and we'll allow you to stay in our gym and watch the show.
We're taking bets, by the way. Do you want to make a little extra and raise your Pokemon street cred? Then pick the winner in the following Pokemon matches.
Rapidash vs Arcanine
It's a battle of the fiery beasts from the first generation of Pokemon, and it's unclear who's going to come out on top. Rapidash definitely has the edge in Speed, but will its strength be enough to take on Arcanine's bulk? It's about to get hot in here real quick.
Xatu vs Dugtrio
Xatu attacks from the sky while Dugtrio stands his ground over the land. The tension builds as Xatu prepares his attack. There are countless ways for their fateful clash to play out. Which of these majestic beasts do you think will win?
Tauros vs Kangaskhan
Both of these Pokemon are balanced powerhouses; Normal-type icons of the original 151. Kangaskhan might be able to take a Frustration attack from Tauros, but can it take two? Meanwhile, Kangaskhan has a Close Combat strike waiting for its opponent.
Charizard vs Dragonite
It's a flying, fire-breathing menace versus a bona fide dragon. We've seen this stand-off play out in the anime, do you remember how that went? Dragonite definitely has the advantage going into this match - the question is, where's that Mega Stone?
Chikorita vs Bulbasaur
It's a floral battle of the Pokemon generations, with Bulbasaur facing off against its version 2. Both these sprouts have access to a wide range of Grass-attacks that they're each resistant to. That means we'll have a long battle here. Grab a seat.
Regirock vs Zangoose
Regirock looks like it can take any strike without falling down. But Zangoose looks like it's ready to move any force that calls itself unmovable. In this epic clash of brutes, which monster will be paying a visit to the Pokemon Center?
Entei vs Raikou
You'll know both of these legendaries from being notoriously slippery in Pokemon Gold, Silver and Emerald. You'd run into them, get all excited and have to watch them leave if you couldn't catch them in one turn. They probably ran off to spar with each other.
Heatran vs Dusknoir
In competitive play, Heatran has been among the most busted Pokemon throughout several generations. The same can't be said for Dusknoir, but every trainer knows how good it is and not fainting. In this face off, which Pokemon emerges victorious?
Scyther vs Mr. Mime
Scyther is good at slashing through things, while Mr. Mime is good at... cooking and stuff. When he's done with dinner, though, Mr. Mime can throw off a mean Psychic attack. He just better hope it's a critical hit - Scyther's U-turn is a OHKO.
Aegislash vs Snorlax
Snorlax is, to put it in a nice way: bulky. Very bulky. So bulky that he laughs at any non-physical move. Hit him too hard, though, and you'll start seeing his nasty sad. That's interesting, because Aegislash likes to hit hard.
Lugia vs Ho-Oh
There's been an ungodly storm for hours, and it's probably because these two legends are battling it out. They're always going at it, aren't they? When you're Lugia and Ho-oh, sparring with each other is probably the most fun you could have.
Wailord vs Smeargle
Okay, this battle seems a little uneven, if only because Wailord is the size of Smeargle x 10,000. But, let's not forget that Smeargle can learn every move in the game. It's also way faster than Wailord. One Spore attack means goodnight for Wailord.
Articuno vs Zapdos
Here's another battle of the bird gods. Articuno's Ice Beam is enough to one-shot Zapdos, but the exact same thing can be said for Zapdos' Thunderbolt. Oh boy, the tension is high, and the storm's a-brewing. Who wins this one?
Steelix vs Golem
Ouf, here's another battle that looks way uneven. Steelix looks like it's tall enough to brush the clouds, but Golem does look pretty mean down there. It might be a question of speed, as the fastest Pokemon can unleash the first Earthquake.
Nidoking vs Nidoqueen
It's a battle between lovers: Nidoking vs Nidoqueen. These two usually get along, but Nidoking ate some of Nidoqueen's tall grass omelette, and now the heat is on. These Pokemon are super evenly matched, but one of them is going down.
Miltank vs Jynx
This is by far the weirdest battle on this list, but it'll definitely be fun to watch. Miltank is bulky and can dish out a hit; Jynx is super frail, but her attacks are deadly. Let's hope she keeps Miltank's Thick Fat ability in mind.
Groudon vs Kyogre
Here's another legendary battle, this time between the lords of earth and sea. The dynamic between Groudon and Kyogre always promises an epic confrontation. Their victory here depends largely on weather, and definitely speed. Which legendary Pokemon comes out on top?
Magmar vs Electabuzz
Magmar is just standing there, looking relaxed, ready for Electabuzz to make the first move. Electabuzz is thumping mad, charging up its electricity with every second. Once they go at it, you'll need to re-watch it in slo-mo to catch the action.
Wooper vs Poliwag
There's no real advantage one way or the other in this match-up; simply water versus water. It'll all boil down to which Pokemon has the technique and wit to best the other. Poliwag versus Wooper: which of these Pokemon will win?
Pidgeot vs Fearow
Pidgeot is coming down with a Hurricane attack, but Fearow's ready for it and waiting to respond with its Drill Peck. The gusts at ground level are gaining momentum as these two birds duke it out way overhead. Airplanes better steer clear.
Sudowoodo vs Aerodactyl
Sudowoodo is a bizarre looking little creature that Aerodactyl has no patience for. It's coming screeching down from the clouds, raging to split Sudowoodo right in half with one blow. Let's hope it knows that Sudowoodo has a big typing advantage.
Lapras vs Gyarados
Here's another battle of the seas, this time featuring two huge beasts from generation 1. Everyone knows and fears the wrath of Gyarados, including all other Water-type Pokemon. The thing is that Lapras is a versatile 'mon with access to Thunderbolt. If it hits Gyarados with that, we'll all be eating fish tonight.
Alakazam vs Machamp
Whoa, whose idea was this matchup? A Psychic-type versus a Fighting-type, really? Well, alright, let's see. Machamp just lifted up a huge rock! There's a chance for Machamp to win if it's wearing a Focus Sash... oh look, it wasn't wearing a Focus Sash. Rip.
Arceus vs Rayquaza
The god of all Pokemon, Arceus, has set its sights on Rayquaza, lord of all dragons. It seems like Rayquaza has been messing around with the weather again - after a third warning. No god should tolerate this type of insolence.
Mewtwo vs Mew
It's the battle of the cat gods! We saw this teased in the original Pokemon movie, but Mewtwo and Mew ended up simply getting along before they could really punch it out. If these two had an arena and all the time in the world to settle the question once and for all, who do you think would win?
