People are obsessed, even today, with television. People are obsessed, even today, with horoscopes and what their signs are. What better way to spend your day than combining the two in an online quiz?
Today, you'll pick which TV shows match with one of four possible horoscopes: Aquarius; Gemini; Libra; or Pisces. For transparency purposes, I am a Gemini both in actuality and with the shows in this quiz. Will you join me in being a Gemini? It won't be your birthday that decides that, but the TV shows you find yourself enjoying.
There's not many ground rules for this one, but we will lay some out:
Every question will ask you to pick a show. There will be nothing like trivia, favorite networks, or so on. However, questions involving networks (i.e. your favorite show on AMC) would be fair game.
With that being the case, there are no spoilers for shows. If you're interested in starting The Sopranos, for example, a question with that as a possible choice wouldn't spoil the ending...an ending which still bothers us.
Both current and retired shows are eligible for this quiz.
With that said, join me in discussing TV and seeing which horoscope it matches up with.
Pick one of these 90's cartoons
Do 90s cartoons still hold up today? Batman: The Animated Series is certainly on its own level, but what about shows like Recess or Rugrats? Can someone who grew up with those shows or watched them on VHS in the early 2000s still get satisfaction from them? If the content matter is mature and has some jokes you may not have noticed as a kid, I certainly think so. Pick one of the following shows!
Pick a Disney Channel show
I feel old writing about these old Disney Channel shows, but time goes on. Hannah Montana has become a weird Miley Cyrus, Raven-Symoné found work on Empire, the Sprouse twins are still only 25 and I don't even want to think about what they're doing...and really, does anyone care about the people from Wizards of Waverly Place if you're not a Belieber? Pick!
Pick a "modern" Fox show
"Modern" should probably come with a caveat because, technically, the majority of these shows are fairly modern. However, all of these shows have premiered in the past three or four years, so that's more modern than, say, Family Guy. Like I said earlier, FOX's Sunday night slot isn't quite what it once was, though part of that comes from these other shows dominating on other nights. Which are you choosing?
Which HBO show do you prefer?
This may be hard to believe given HBO's recent successes with Game of Thrones and Westworld - and, given David Simon's involvement, likely The Deuce - but the Home Box Office was more than just the Sopranos at one point. Nearly a decade after The Wire ended their story with a -30-, the adventures of Jimmy McNulty, Omar Little, and others still stand, especially with their conversations about police brutality and failing school systems. Which is your favorite HBO show?
Which FOX show are you?
Once upon a time, FOX's Sunday night TV slot actually meant something AND actually drew in a lot of viewers. This was well before Seth MacFarlane went into outer space or *checks the current Fox Sunday night lineup* there were live-action shows in that slot. Seriously, this is far from a myth. If you don't believe me, pick one of the following shows.
Pick a comedy show
As you'll quickly learn when surfing the TV guide, there are a lot of comedies out there. Which of these do you enjoy the most? Well, if you've yet to watch Veep, I strongly suggest checking it out ASAP. As for Modern Family? I'm still waiting on that Modern Family-All in the Family crossover that Family Guy suggested. Can we get it in 2018?
Pick one of the following AMC shows
And in the same way that FOX's Sunday night time slot actually meant something, AMC was once little more than a movie channel. Mad Men began the change in 2007 and Breaking Bad followed the next year, quickly turning AMC into a cable powerhouse that has released hit after hit...and, you know, Halt and Catch Fire. Which of the following post-Mad Men's release shows do you like most?
Pick a movie-inspired show
For the uninitiated, let's do this the easy way. The current Lethal Weapon series on FOX is an adaption of the movie series, while The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius followed the Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius movie. The Dukes of Hazzard is based on the movie Moonrunners and M*A*S*H is an adaption of a movie with the same name. Which was your favorite show?
Pick one of the following spin-offs
Today's age of reboots and unnecessary spin-offs - Young Sheldon, much? - have unfortunately overshadowed times where spin-offs were not only fantastic, but arguably better than the original show. I get the feeling that doesn't quite apply to The Cleveland Show, but fans of The Jeffersons (All in the Family), Fraiser (Cheers), and Private Practice (JAG) will all make their case. Of these four spin-offs, which do you like most?
Pick a sports show
Sports shows and movies often all have the same cliches - a player or coach who is old, down on his luck, or hated; a top prospect or best player on the team that is in need of guidance or is arrogant; a love interest who is either a groupie, ex-flame, or diehard fan - but these four shows, while sometimes having those cliches, all did a fine job. Which of these was your favorite show?
Pick a cartoon reboot
This question is more or less the equivalent of me asking if you want to step on Legos, drink extremely spoiled milk, get stuck in the desert for a week without water, or have to sit through one of Amy Schumer's shows, but it has to be asked. Of the following abysmal cartoon reboots, which are you able to tolerate the most?
Pick a legendary sitcom
What is there to say about Seinfeld that hasn't been uttered once, especially on this site? We all know how great the adventures of Jerry, George, Kramer, Elaine, and New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner's calzones, but will you choose that as your favorite sitcom of these four? Well, my zodiac sign isn't one that agrees with Full House, so we'll see if yours does.
Pick a DCAU show
The DCAU, or the DC Animated Universe, is one we've covered multiple times for the briliance of Batman: The Animated Series/The New Batman Adventures and Justice League. While Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League: Unlimited both stand up years later, BTAS and the original Justice League remain on their own level. Of the four main DCAU shows (Batman Beyond notwithstanding), which of these was your favorite?
Pick a CBS show
"The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do, they'll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever." -- The Big Bang Theory. That should be enough to set this question up, right?
Pick a Star Wars show
For those confused by which show is which, Clone Wars refers to the 2003 miniseries from Genndy Tartakovsky and The Clone Wars is the more recent series in the same era. Rebels, obviously, is the current show on Disney XD and Forces of Destiny, while currently on YouTube but may see a move to Disney in the near-future, focuses on the series' female characters. Which do you like most?
Pick a news show you'd watch
It's not my business whatever your political beliefs are, though I do think this is an important question. There's so much going on in the world between a possible third World War, national anthem protests, and Puerto Rico in desperate shape, so who are you turning to for news? We promise we won't judge your answer, although it may affect your horoscope...
Which Netflix show are you?
As you can tell by the following choices, this applies only to Netlifx-original shows, meaning Breaking Bad, Friday Night Lights, and other shows which aired on a different network before coming to Netflix are ineligible...well, for this question, at least. It's hard to go wrong with these four choices, especially following the recent releases of Ozark and Bojack Horseman season four, so pick!
Which MCU show was your favorite?
Well, there's four horoscope options and there's four MCU shows on Netflix, so take your pick. Does the gritty, emotional Daredevil win over Jessica Jones and her own mental strength? What about Luke Cage and its fantastic freestyling from Method Man about bulletproof love? Or, are you one of the few people that would take Aquaman - sorry, Iron Fist - over the other heroes? Who are we to judge?
Pick an FX show
Fine, we're cheating because It's Always Sunny on Philadelphia has technically moved to sister network FXX, but it started as an FX show and is therefore eligible. Besides, how can you go wrong with the Gang's shenanigans? You know, unless you're Rickety Cricket, the McPoyles, the Lawyer, Luther Mac, an Israeli businessman, a Mexican family, a soldier coming home from the War in Iraq, homeless people, and the guy from the Cosby Show.
Pick an LGBT show
Is it wrong to put Oz on this list given that a fair number of the gay relationships are formed by simply men being in prison and committing prison rape? Given that it handled those situations fairly realistically and made the relationships worth being invested in, we're going to give it a pass and allow it to be on this list. As for the other shows? They're much more tame.
Pick a Cartoon Network show
Now, we're talking about some elite television. If this quiz hasn't made you nostalgic enough for the shows you watched as a kid, I suggest finding one of those websites which has every single episode and going on a serious bingewatch. Why not? I could go for some more scams from the Eds again. Pick wisely on this one - we're almost near the end!
Pick a Nickelodeon show
Given what's on Nickelodeon right now, you're not alone in wondering what happened to quality programming. Is it possible to beat Lex Luthor lending his talents to voicing a greedy business owner? Now, Clancy Brown's talents as Mr. Krabs have all but been forgotten with SpongeBob losing what made it great, but we don't need me to discuss something that's been beaten to death for years. I'm voting for Hey Arnold!
Pick a game show
"Here's the situation for the folks at home. If a contestant gives an incorrect response, I rule against them. And if we later found out that response was correct, any response than the other player had an incorrect response that follows that doesn't count." We're using that Alex Trebek disclaimer from Jeopardy! for this question. Make sure to get this one right!
Pick an Adult Swim show
Because most people are probably going to pick Rick & Morty on this one, we may as well insert one of the show's greatest quotes for this description. "I hate to break it to you, but what people calls "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage." Now, pick something!
Pick a non-The Walking Dead post-apocalyptic show
You can't pick the regular The Walking Dead because that would have been too obvious a choice. Fear The Walking Dead, which has had a strong third season plot-wise and is starting to bounce back in the ratings department, is instead a choice; as are The 100, Z Nation, and The Last Ship. Because the world would be an apocalypse without TV, this question is important.