Pick Some Hogwarts Guys And Get Matched To A Wizarding World Dream Job
- by Steve_D
- – on
- in Movies and TV
It's hard to believe that it's been over a decade since the last Harry Potter book was released in bookstores worldwide, because we still think about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry on a daily basis. We'd do pretty much anything for the chance to play Quidditch, hang out with Harry, Ron and Hermione in Hogsmeade, compete in the Triwizard Tournament or even just sit in Potions class with Professor Snape!
As embarrassing as it may be to admit, we all still check our mail and search the sky for owls every day in the hopes of finally getting our Hogwarts acceptance letters. While all of our friends are off trying to find jobs in the real world, us Harry Potter fans are busy trying to figure out what we'd do for work if we entered J.K. Rowling's wizarding world! Deciding whether we'd want to apply for a job within the Ministry, interview for a teaching position at Hogwarts or try out for a professional Quidditch team is nearly impossible, because all of those jobs seem like so much fun. By choosing whether to marry or divorce these iconic former Hogwarts students, however, we can determine which career we'd be best suited for!
Bill Weasley
Bill was both a prefect and a Head Boy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry before graduating and working as a Curse-Breaker for Gringotts Wizarding Bank. He was clearly a catch, because he managed to win the heart of Fleur Delacour—and she loved Bill enough to marry him even after a battle with Fenrir Greyback left him severely scarred!
Oliver Wood
Let's be honest, we all either wanted to be or be with Oliver Wood. He was ridiculously handsome, a great captain and an even better Quidditch player. The star Keeper went on to play for Puddlemere United after graduation, but he returned to Hogwarts to fight alongside several of his old teammates in the war against Voldemort and his minions.
Draco Malfoy
Draco Malfoy was arrogant, spoiled and often needlessly cruel... but that didn't stop countless Harry Potter fans from crushing on him! Draco went out of his way to bully Harry and his friends, but karma definitely came back for him when he ended up having to serve Voldemort and give the Dark Lord the most awkward hug ever in front of all of his peers and professors.
Harry Potter
Alright, time to decide whether to marry or divorce The Boy Who Lived himself! Harry Potter may be the Chosen One (and a fantastic Seeker), but he definitely has his fair share of flaws. He can be incredibly whiny and jealous, and he occasionally fails to think before he acts. There's also the fact that someone seems to try to eliminate him every year! Tie the knot with Harry at your own risk.
Cormac McLaggen
We love Ron Weasley, but we can't deny that he totally stole Cormac's spot on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He was obnoxiously arrogant, but he did actually have the skills to back it up... until Hermione cheated and used magic to make him look bad during try-outs! Ron ended up doing a good job as Keeper, but Cormac likely would have done even better.
Percy Weasley
Percy was an extremely by-the-book prefect and Head Boy while at Hogwarts. Immediately after graduation, he rose up the corporate ladder of the Ministry of Magic to become the Junior Assistant to the Minister for Magic! We admired his drive and ambition, but we didn't like that he couldn't take a joke and frequently chose his work over his family.
Albus Dumbledore
With age comes wisdom, so at the age of 115, it's no wonder Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore was so wise. Professor Dumbledore was considered to be one of the most powerful and influential wizards of all time, and was the only person Lord Voldemort was afraid to face in combat. He went through a lot of tough stuff over the course of his long life, but all that adversity and heartbreak helped him become an incredibly kind man and beloved teacher.
Colin Creevey
The only person we can say was more obsessed with Harry Potter than we were as kids is Colin Creevey. The Muggle-born Gryffindor student was basically the Chosen One's personal paparazzi and biggest fanboy, and even though he was an incredibly minor character, we seriously mourned his passing after the Battle of Hogwarts.
Dean Thomas
Dean Thomas was sorted into Gryffindor the same year as Harry, and was a loyal friend to the Boy-Who-Lived throughout his time at Hogwarts. Dean played as Chaser on the Quidditch team for a while, was a member of Dumbledore's Army and helped fight alongside his classmates in the war against Voldemort.
Seamus Finnigan
Seamus and Dean were practically as inseparable as Harry and Ron, and we can't help wishing they'd get a book of their own! Seamus was a great friend, but he wasn't exactly the best wizard—he had a bad tendency to accidentally blow stuff up in class. That didn't stop him from fighting alongside Dumbledore's Army in the Second Wizarding War, though!
Cedric Diggory
Prefect and Quidditch captain Cedric Diggory was the quintessential Hufflepuff. He was incredibly friendly, well-respected and honorable, so it's no big surprise that fans are still heartbroken that his life was cut short... even though we only really knew him for a short time. It also didn't hurt that he was ridiculously attractive!
Ron Weasley
Ron may not have been as intelligent as Hermione or as brave as Harry, but if it wasn't for his friendship and unwavering loyalty, we're pretty sure The Boy Who Lived would have gone down an entirely different path at Hogwarts and may not have been capable of defeating Voldemort. Ron's sense of humor made him a fan-favorite, and we love that he's as obsessed with food as we are!
Quirinus Quirrell
When Dumbledore refused to give Tom Riddle a job as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts, young Voldemort put a curse on the position... and poor stuttering Professor Quirrell became one of its many casualties. For an entire year, the back of Quirrell's turbaned head acted as the Dark Lord's temporary home! Talk about being two-faced.
Tom Riddle
Let's be honest—before he used magic to give himself some seriously disturbing facial features, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was an absolute stud! Tom Riddle was handsome, charismatic, talented and incredibly ambitious. We don't love Voldemort, but we definitely understand why so many minions flocked to him and were willing to serve the young Heir of Slytherin.
Gregory Goyle
Draco Malfoy may have been the brains and leader of his Slytherin clique, but his right-hand man Goyle was the muscle that everyone feared. He was a fairly mindless bully, and just as his Death Eater father was a loyal servant to Voldemort, Goyle had no problem doing anything and everything that Draco told him to do.
Remus Lupin
Long before he served as a one-year professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Remus Lupin was one of Harry's father's closest friends. He became a werewolf during his teenage years, and his fellow Marauders loved him so much, they became Animagi so they could help him during his transformations. Remus was probably Harry's best teacher during his brief time at Hogwarts, and acted as a father figure to the Boy Who Lived until he lost his life during the Second Wizarding War.
Lee Jordan
Lee Jordan's enthusiasm towards Quidditch is almost identical to our enthusiasm whenever we watch a Harry Potter film. He was the ultimate fanboy, which made him the perfect Quidditch commentator. Lee went on to utilize his fantastic voice and extreme optimism as the host of Potterwatch, a radio show which helped encourage the wizarding world and advised people on how they could stay safe during Voldemort's return to power.
Lucius Malfoy
Just when we thought Draco Malfoy HAD to be the worst member of his family, we were introduced to his incredibly evil father. It's no wonder Draco was such an entitled, spoiled brat at Hogwarts—his father was the same way! Lucius felt his wealth and pureblood heritage made him better than everyone else, and he loved to rub his status in everyone else's faces.
Neville Longbottom
Even though he seemed like a complete nobody during his first year at Hogwarts, Neville Longbottom was SO close to being the Chosen One destined to take down Voldemort. As time went on, we realized just how much potential he truly had to be a great wizard—Neville got braver with every year at the school, and his willingness to stand against Voldemort in his final year was instrumental in helping Harry take the Dark Lord down.
Severus Snape
Fans of the Harry Potter series will probably never stop arguing about whether we should love or hate Severus Snape. On one hand, he treated Harry and his friends horribly, was incredibly biased in his role as head of Slytherin House, and served as a minions when Voldemort first rose to power. On the other hand, he switched sides as soon as he found out the Dark Lord was targeting his childhood crush Lily, spent years secretly protecting her son and acted as a double-agent for Dumbledore. Was his eventual heroism enough to excuse some of his more questionable actions earlier in life?
Newt Scamander
We don't know too much about Newt Scamander's time at Hogwarts outside of the fact that he was expelled before graduation, but he was still clearly a great wizard. His book 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' was a best-seller, and helped Newt become recognized as an expert in the field of Magizoology.
Blaise Zabini
Slytherin student Blaise Zabini was the son of a famously beautiful witch who had been widowed seven times—each husband's passing occurred under suspicious circumstances and left Blaise and his mom with more money. He refused to associate with any Muggle-borns, and didn't even seem to love hanging out with Draco and his group within his own House!
Horace Slughorn
Horace Slughorn loved surrounding himself with powerful and influential wizards, because it helped him feel like HE was similarly noteworthy. The prospect of adding Harry Potter to his "collection" is basically the only reason he came out of hiding to teach at Hogwarts, and it's a good thing he did—Harry needed Slughorn's knowledge of Voldemort's Horcruxes to defeat the Dark Lord!
Sirius Black
Harry spent the majority of his third year at Hogwarts either terrified of Sirius Black or desperately hoping for a chance to take him down, because he wrongly believed Sirius was the man who betrayed his parents to Voldemort. He eventually found out, however, that Sirius was his godfather and never would have done anything to hurt his best friend James, Harry's father. Sirius became one of Harry's closest friends and confidants, and his shocking fall in the Ministry of Magic came as a huge blow to the Chosen One and readers alike.
Fred or George Weasley
We almost feel bad grouping these two together, but honestly, the Weasley twins were one and the same. They were both huge jokesters, they loved playing Quidditch and they had a tendency to rebel against authority. Over a decade later, we still cry over the fact that Fred passed during the Seconding Wizarding War and that George named his first son after his fallen brother.
Peter Pettigrew
Peter Pettigrew was once a valued friend of James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin... until he double-crossed all of them and became one of Lord Voldemort's minions! Peter was somehow sorted into Gryffindor House, despite being a huge coward. When the Dark Lord first fell, he secretly lived as the Weasley's pet Scabbers for several years before returning to Voldemort's side and helping him come back into power.
Gilderoy Lockhart
We experienced a lot of bizarre Defense Against the Dark Arts professors in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter novels, but none of them quite compared to Gilderoy Lockhart. He was his own biggest fan, even though he fabricated or stole all of the stories of his great adventures and wasn't half as smart or skilled as he pretended to be!
Rubeus Hagrid
Rubeus Hagrid was unjustly suspended from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry after Tom Riddle framed him for his actions as the Heir of Slytherin, but that didn't make Hagrid any less loyal to the school that he called home. He went on to serve as Hogwarts' gamekeeper, and his love of fairly terrifying beasts eventually helped him earn the position of Care of Magical Creatures professor!
Filius Flitwick
The Harry Potter books and films didn't allow us to get to know Professor Flitwick as well as we would have liked, but we were still fans of Hogwarts' Charms professor. When he wasn't teaching students important wand skills, he was busy directing the school's choir or protecting Hogwarts from the Dark forces that threatened it.
Viktor Krum
Viktor Krum wasn't exactly a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, but during the year of the infamous Triwizard Tournament, he and his fellow Durmstrang students called Hogwarts home. Ron Weasley was one of Krum's biggest fans due to his skill as a world-renowned Seeker on Bulgaria's Quidditch team, but that changed when Viktor developed a crush on Hermione and asked her to the Yule Ball!
