Pick A Pasta And We'll Tell You Which Mobster You Are!


In a way, it's pretty weird that we have an obsession with people like mobsters, as they're some of the worst criminals in the world, and yet we're totally into learning about their story or becoming knowledgeable on the way their world works. We're always going to be intrigued and attracted to the other side of life, the side that we don't get to see personally, but there's a real cultural obsession with mobsters that seems to transcend all of that if we're being totally honest. All you have to do is look at the success of films by people like Scorsese to know that people really like to learn about this sort of stuff.

Well, seeing as we all like to think of mobsters, we decided we'd throw together a quiz that will let you see which exact mobster you would be. We'll figure this out by getting you to pick different types of pasta, a food commonly associated with the mafia. Then, we'll be able to tell you which mobster you're most like based on that!

So, are you ready to find out which mobsters you are? Want to know exactly which sort of mobster you are based on what food you'd eat as one? Well, then it's time to pick your types of pasta and we'll tell you exactly what sort of mobster you are.

Question 1

Lasagna Or Spaghetti?

If you're anything like us, then you consider lasagna to be one of the greatest meals of all time, and quite possibly the best thing to make at home. That being said, spaghetti is a lot easier to make and is pretty much the only thing we lived on when we were in college. Although, if we had the money and the effort, we would’ve made the lasagna every night instead of the spaghetti, but that’s just one of those things isn’t it.

Question 2

Macaroni Or Ravioli?

If you've never tried it, then we need to tell you it's about time that you got out there and bought a macaroni cheese pie. If you're the kind of person who doesn't like carbs, then it probably won't be your sort of meal, but we think everybody should try it anyway. Honestly, it's one of the greatest meals we've ever had. It’s one of those things that you’ve probably never heard of, but definitely, want to try now that you have.

Question 3

Cannelloni Or Tagliatelle?

We're not sure why, but this sort of thing really makes us feel comfortable inside. There's something about a controlled mess like this, a pile of curled pasta that is unable to spread out across the table you leave it on, that makes you see how nice things can be. Is that just us? Honestly, we wouldn't be surprised if it was just us, but we really hope that it isn't so that people can understand where we’re coming from on this one.

Question 4

Tortellini Or Linguine?

Isn't it weird to look at food before it has been properly prepared? Sometimes it doesn't look that different, but often times you will find that some food looks pretty hideous before the chef puts their finishing touches on the meal and makes it look special. We’re not sure if this is a purely psychological thing or the rest of you are looking at this image right now and nodding, agreeing that this stuff looks objectively unpleasant before it has been served up.

Question 5

Fettuccine Or Rigatoni?

We had somebody explain to us where the concept of a cultural cuisine comes from recently, and we actually found it pretty fascinating. It's one of those things where it seems obvious once you've been told about it, but to figure it out on your own, you'd have to look at the situation from a different perspective. So, a cultural cuisine essentially comes from a culture attempting to use up their surplus food. If a traditional culture had a lot of a crop, that is what they would mostly use. It’s that simple.

Question 6

Penne Or Orzo?

We only discovered Orzo for the first time within this past year and we have to admit that we've fallen pretty hard for it after judging it badly at first sight. You'd think by this point that we would've learned that you can't truly judge how good a type of food is until you've actually tasted it, and yet our childish mentality towards food continue to prevail most of the time. We honestly recommend giving Orzo a try if you ever get the chance.

Question 7

Spatzle Or Pappardelle?

As native English speakers, we honestly feel like pretty much every other language on this planet sounds more interesting than ours does, even when you're just reading the words written down in front of you. Does every native speaker feel this way about their own language or is it just that English has a boring drawl to it? Maybe it’s the fact that native English speakers have just become so bored by their own language that this is how it sounds now.

Question 8

Vermicelli Or Fusilli?

Maybe it's just us, but there is something genuinely satisfying about a type of pasta that you can spear with a fork, rather than having to spin it around a fork with the aid of a spoon, before slowly slurping it up with the suction of our lips. It’s pretty undignified and there's something much better about being able to pop a fork full into your mouth instead. Is this just us guys? Maybe we’re just generally disgusting human beings.

Question 9

Pelmeni Or Bucatini?

Of all the countries in the world that we've yet to visit, we really wish that we could go to Italy as soon as possible. There is so much about the food and the culture that we really want to experience first-hand. Sure, they’ve got a lot of problems that need sorting out, but there is pretty much no country out there that doesn’t have a lot of problems that need sorting out as well. This way you get to see Italy as well.

Question 10

Orecchiette Or Farfalle?

For anybody in the know, this image will bring back memories of one of the best comedies out there. If you've never seen any of the Alan Partridge shows, we suggest you give it a go as soon as possible. It doesn't have the same vibe or sensibilities as many other comedies unless you're a big fan of comedies from the UK, so we suggest giving it as much time as possible. Seriously, you’ve got to give this one a look.

Question 11

Capellini Or Manicotti?

It's weird how places that make food for you always try to make the food look as fancy as physically possible while people who make you food at home don't put a lot of effort into how it looks at all. If someone you love makes you food, you're happy if it tastes nice. It's one of the nicest things you can do for another human being so you're just in awe of them doing it anyway. We are anyway.

Question 12

Taglierini Or Cavatappi?

If you can't tell just by the image, this person has clearly made some pasta pesto, which means that this person is quite possibly meant to be our soulmate. We know it's not the greatest meal in the world and it's not exactly hard to make either, but there is something about pesto that speaks to something within us. We don't know what it is, but it's there, and we're not going to deny that it's there. Making us pesto is like the way to our heart.

Question 13

Cavatelli Or Fregula?

Now we're back to uncooked food looking absolutely rank. Rather than a type of pasta, this image looks like some sort of groupings of nuts or Bombay mix. Don't get us wrong, we love Bombay mix, but we don't want to it to look anything like uncooked pasta if we’re going to be putting it into our mouths. We also do not trust people who decided to put raisins in Bombay mix. Seriously, keep your fruit away from my snacks.

Question 14

Agnolotti Or Paccheri?

Oh my god! Are we wrong or are we currently looking at giant pasta? Did one of you invent giant pasta while we weren't looking and decided not to tell us? We don't know if we'll be able to accept this sort of betrayal. You have no idea how excited this image has got us right now. For those of you who knew about this before us, we probably look like idiots, but we really don’t care about it in the long run.

Question 15

Maultasche Or Strozzapreti?

If this pasta was different colors, this would look completely like a form of candy rather than a form of pasta. You know what we're talking about? Seriously, if you can't see it, then we clearly have a completely different brain to you. We might actually be referring to a specific brand of candy that actually does look like this but with various colors. We’ve enjoyed quite a few sweet things in the past so we’re not so sure about it.

Question 16

Cappelletti Or Conchiglie?

It's crazy to think that there is a food out in the world that is named after the fact that it looks like a type of shell. We really do like to make connections between inanimate objects in this world. Human beings seem to use their brains to come up with ways to make derivative examples of what can be achieved of the human mind. We have unlimited and infinite names at our disposal and yet we decide to stay with the usual.

Question 17

Ptitim Or Trofie?

See, Ptitim is more like it! That's the sort of thing we're talking about when we think that people should be coming up with some really weird names for things. Who would’ve thought about throwing those sorts of letters together in the hope of making a name for something? If you follow a letter p with a letter t, you know that you’re coming up with something rarely seen in a western language. That’s just a fact of life if you ask us.

Question 18

Garganelli Or Rotini?

What is going on here? We know that there is a lot of food out there that we really don't understand, or know about the level of preparation that goes into the food we enjoy, but we didn't realize that this sort of thing happened. Is that a piece of wood? Do people still use wood to help make different types of pasta or is that just something that the real fanatics waste their time doing? There’s no way of knowing…

Question 19

Pici Or Tortelloni?

We don't know if it's because of how well the food has been made or how great the photography is when it comes to this image, but we are suddenly very hungry for whatever type of pasta this is. If any of you can get in touch with us, or even just turn up to cook us up a huge pot of this stuff, then we would be hugely grateful. Like, more grateful than you can even imagine right now.

Question 20

Malloreddus Or Tortelli?

So, because we're the sort of people who make major connections within our brains without meaning to, we don't think we could ever enjoy pasta called Malloreddus as it is way too close to a word for smelly. Just in case you don’t know what word we’re talking about, we’re not going to tell you so we don’t ruin the pasta for you as well. Seriously, you just don’t want to have that sort of thing ruining food for you.

Question 21

Mezzelune Or Calamarata?

It's about time that you knew that there is no food out there that is better than a food wrapped up in another type of food. Seriously, this sort of ravioli style food is pretty much the best thing we can imagine, just like a pie or a fajita. Those are the sorts of food that will literally never get boring to us, especially when you can actually mix and match what you fill them with, as long as you know what you’re doing.

Question 22

Bigoli Or Bavette?

We can't tell whether the pasta in this image has actually been prepared yet or not because this sort of thing messes with what we think pasta is. Pasta is always soft once you cook it, right? We're not sure. It even looks like the sort of thing that would be served alongside a nice pint of beer, like a pub snack that has been fried to give it that sort of wrinkled but crispy look that you can see here.

Question 23

Pizzoccheri Or Scialatielli?

There was once a time when we hated fruit, vegetables, and water, but now we can't get enough of the stuff. It's weird how, as you get older, it's almost as if your subconscious is teaching you how to look after yourself. Sure, you always knew you had to eat fruits and vegetables, but it isn't until you got older that you really committed to doing that and enjoying them as well. Is there anyone out there who liked vegetables when they were younger?

Question 24

Gemelli Or Casarecce?

Why is it that the people who came up with pasta decided that one of the best ways to get people interested in eating the food they were making was by twisting it around itself? Seriously, the amounts of variations out there and yet most of them seem to just try and get people in with a simple twisting of the food. Honestly, does anybody really feel like twisted food looks better than untwisted food? Is that like a part of the human brain?

Question 25

Campanelle Or Spaghetti Alla Chitarra?

Who knew that there were actually two different types of spaghetti? To be honest, we're sure that a lot of you knew that there was more than one type of spaghetti, but we have no Italian heritage whatsoever, so it has just gone straight over our heads. We're sure that if our family was Italian, we'd know all about every type of pasta. Part of us wishes we had some sort of interesting family past because it makes life a lot better.

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