Only Dudes Can Pass This Quiz. Can You?
- by Ricky Bambuto
- – on
- in Lifestyle
This quiz is full of manliness, with testosterone levels far too high for the average dude. If you're looking to pass this quiz - let alone ace it - then you'll have to possess the skills and know-how inherent in any male.
This is not the time to back down. Because real men face challenges head on, even if - no, especially if - they have little to no chance of succeeding. Or you can man up and teach us a lesson for talking all this smack. We would love to see you try.
Do you have hair under your arms? What about on your back? Do you never ask anyone (ever) for directions when you're lost? Are your orbs made of steel? That's a good start - not nearly enough to guarantee victory, but a good start nonetheless.
Well then, let's get this show on the road. If you can pass this knowledge quiz, maybe you're not a complete beta after all.
Who's this legendary athlete?
You'd have to be living under a rock if you can't recognize this legendary athlete. It's a good thing you've found your way to this quiz, otherwise you may very well have gone on continuing to be a beta without having yourself checked. When an athlete breaks as many records as this one did in his sport, he demands universal respect from all men everywhere, or at least the alphas. Do you know his name?
What's this tool called?
A man needs to know his basics when it comes to tools, even if he doesn't really use them. You just can't imagine an alpha ever being in a situation where he needs to ask someone what a basic tool is called. The tool pictured here is certainly basic - fundamental even - so if you're scratching your head at this question, the chances of you being an alpha aren't so great. Let's see if you can give us this tool's name.
And this one?
This next tool is a tad more obscure than the last, but still quite basic. When you need to perform a fast cut using a hand held power tool, this is one of your best bets. If you've never performed any sort of cut at all, how can you call yourself an alpha, really? If you want a chance at boasting such a title, you'll have to at least know what this tool is called. Otherwise we fear the worst.
How do you cook spaghetti?
Historically, alpha males have always been too busy hunting wildebeest and fighting among each other to really cook anything. However, since we no longer live in history, even alphas have to figure out a way to provide their own sustenance these days. Thankfully, for those that really don't know how to cook, spaghetti lines the shelves of a store near you in all its calorific glory. If you haven't learned how to cook pasta by now, how much of a man can you possibly be?
Fill in the blanks: What happens in _____ stays in _____
There's a certain place in the world, one where all dreams come true. Well, only a limited of dreams, but still - they come true. The best part about this place is that anything that happens within its borders will stay within its borders. So if, for some reason, you had a wish granted in this magical land, and didn't want your loved ones in the real world knowing about it, you wouldn't have to worry at all! Fill in the blanks: What happens in _____ stays in _____.
Who's this legendary movie character?
If you're a complete beta, then the mere glow coming from this alpha's trapezoids is too much for you to look at without a pair of heavy sunglasses. After all, he is the man's man of time and space, having worked as a secret agent for the better part of a century now. Not only that, but he makes a point of getting the job wrapped up each and every time. If you're a real man, you'll know his name for sure.
What about this one?
We're hitting you with a two punch combo of legendary on-screen alphas, because we're not here to take it easy on you. Only a true alpha can rise to the occasion - betas will fall to the side and peter out gradually. With that in mind, don't give up if you're having trouble naming this other iconic movie character. Be tenacious, just like he is, and push yourself beyond your extremes. That's the only way to get to the treasure of this quiz: a grade of 90% or higher.
What sport is being played here?
Leave it to a beta to allow themselves to go around the world without fundamental knowledge of basic international sports. Like this one for instance - depending on where in the world you are, the sport pictured here might not be the most popular one, it might not even be in the top 5. However, it's one hell of a manly sport, requiring incredible reserves of physical and mental fortitude from its players. Let's see if you know what it's called.
Which of these items is essential on a camping trip?
If you've never gone camping before, that doesn't necessarily make you an instant beta. Maybe you live in a super urban area, and all camping grounds are too far for you to travel to conveniently. Even at that, though, what a real alpha does in that situation is pick a skyscraper up from the ground and use it to clear all other buildings of the city, freeing up the overhead room for some nice stargazing. In traditional camping, which of these items is not absolutely essential?
What do you do if a black bear attacks?
If you're out in the grove and happen upon a grizzly standing 8 feet tall on its hind legs and staring you right down, you definitely need to have a game plan prepared. Real alphas consider this situation beforehand, and know exactly how they'll react when the time comes. Betas take the wrong option out of fear and ignorance, getting themselves taken out in the process. Let's see if you have the knowledge to get this one right: what do you do if a black bear attacks?
Who's this superhero?
This is one of the original superheroes of our time, a force of nature so strong he can only be conceived within the pages of a comic book. His influence is powerful and widespread - indeed, despite his legion of competition, he's still almost synonymous with the term "superhero". You'd have to live under a rock if you aren't able to recognize him, or you'd have to be a complete beta. Let's hope neither of those cases apply - who's this superhero?
Who's this Saiyan?
While almost ever man can recognize the superhero above, only those who truly cherish their manhood will be able to put a name to the face of this Saiyan. Of course, Saiyans are an alien race descending from Planet Vegeta, and are super duper strong. If you've seen Dragon Ball Z, you'll know exactly what you're talking about. But even if you haven't, this Saiyan's name has been written in the cosmos regardless. Let's see if you can read it in the stars.
What's this guy doing?
This guy looks like he's immersed in some physical activity, and what an interesting position this is. Of course, alphas need to maintain their physical ferocity, and exercise is the best way to do that. If you're a real alpha - one who lifts, bro - then you should know exactly what this guy right here is doing. If not, maybe you spend more time playing video games in your mother's basement than you do working out. What's he doing?
What's the proper way to throw a punch?
Although (hopefully) you'd rather never use it, knowledge on how to throw a punch is necessary for every man, especially if you consider yourself an alphas. The alpha type of male is prone to butting heads with another, so always being ready for a fight is super important. We can't test you out in person, so let's see if you can pick the description for a proper punch technique down below. If you can't, you might not be an alpha after all.
What type of alcohol is Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is a must try for anyone going around town shouting about how they're all alpha and stuff. If you're an actual alpha male, then you should definitely know what this stuff tastes like, whether you like it or not. You should also know what type of alcohol it is, since that's just a prerequisite bit of manliness trivia. Without knowledge in this field, you'll never be a full fledged alpha - just another beta male riding the wave.
What movie is this scene from?
If you haven't seen this classic 90's movie, then you're no alpha at all - just a little fledgling with no regard for the business of real men. Because of course, real men enjoy a good fight, and they often don't mind if you throw in a good share of anarchy, too. The movie pictured here is all about fighting and anarchy, which is something you should definitely know by now. Hopefully you remember this scene, otherwise you might not be able to place the movie.
What's this car called?
Anyone who considers himself a well rounded, almost professional alpha male should definitely have an at least intermediate level of knowledge about cars. Without that, you should've known by now that it'll be impossible to ace this quiz. You didn't think an alpha male quiz would have pulled its punches, did you? At any rate, take a look at this heckuva vehicle right here - quite a beauty, isn't she? If you're an alpha male, you should definitely know what she's called.
What about this one?
This next car is another hot item that's been on alpha males' wish lists for a long time. If you've never even seen it before - whether on the street, car mag or old Top Gear episode - then why have you even come here in the first place? Maybe you enjoy getting low scores on quizzes like these. Let's not get into that, though - this next car has drifted into the parking lot to challenge you. What's her name?
What are jumper cables used for?
Maybe the placement of this question within our quiz gives you a hint as to its answer - maybe it doesn't. It's hard to say for sure if you have no idea what jumper cables are. If that's the case, though, it might be time to buy an alpha male encyclopedia and skim through it before continuing. Because, if you're stuck on this one, then the last half of our quiz will be no joke. How do you use jumper cables?
What's this muscle called?
This is among the manliest of all muscles in the human body. It's what you point to when you're looking to show somebody the artillery you carry with you on your body. This is the muscle being developed by all the countless curls upon curls that you perform at the gym. If you've only ever flexed once before, this is probably the muscle you were trying to make bulge. Regardless of how developed this muscle is on your body, you should at least know what it's called.
What's the highest rank in the military?
The military is one organization that every alpha male thinks about from time to time, however rarely. Whether you like it or not, war is a logical end to a man's biological tendencies; men will scrap verbally until they butt heads, then will butt heads till it's time to draw swords. Maybe you're a beta who doesn't know a thing about war, in which case you'd find yourself at a loss if combat ever happens upon your doorstep. Let's see if you know the military's highest rank.
How can you tell when the meat you're cooking is done?
While eating meat is a big part of being a man, knowing how to cook it is also essential. What, are you just going to depend on your mommy or girlfriend to cook your stakes for you all the time? No - a real alpha wants a steak exactly when he wants a steak, and will cook it himself if need be. Furthermore, the steak should be done to the alpha's preferences, and one of the following is a classic trick for checking how cooked it is.
Who's this legendary man?
This legendary man is noteworthy for a number of reasons - far too many to name here, make no mistake of that. You can just pick three out of his incredible accomplishments - world class bodybuilder, legendary actor and Governor of California - and that would give you a picture of his godlike status. Any man's man, or rather, any well functioning human being at all, should definitely know who he is. If you don't, you might be a beta.
What about this guy?
This next legendary man is much better known for his brains rather than his brawn. But don't roll your eyes at that - real alphas know that mental capacity is greater than physical strength, and this becomes even more true as the years go by. It's been a while since the world has been graced with this legend's presence, but all self-respecting people should be able to pull out a name from this picture. Let's see if you can do it.
When camping, what must you do in order to protect your food (and yourself) from bears?
Depending on where you're camping, the appearance of bears might be an inevitability. If you know that a beast is liable to come rummaging through your site at night, it's best to minimize the possibility at all costs. Bears tend to be hungry more often that they're not, and if they seem to be looking for you, they might actually be more interested in your food. Knowing that, let's see if you can figure out the answer to this one.
What video game is this picture from?
Pictured here is arguably one of the manliest games of all time, and it's really not hard to see why it's regarded as such. Essentially, while playing this game, you're free to roam around a virtual environment relatively undisturbed, stealing cars, punching strangers and getting into confrontations with the cops whenever you feel like it. What kind of an alpha male wouldn't enjoy that experience? If you were among the huge population of gamers who played this title in its heyday, you should know what it's called.
What's the other name commonly used for the card game Blackjack?
Alphas tend to enjoy a good gamble or two once in a while, and they make a point of disallowing themselves to fall for the trap of gambling degeneracy. Games like Blackjack (pictured here) are fun, classic and harmless if one can maintain a grip on themselves. If you've been through the gambling circuit a few times, you know that there's another name for Blackjack that's as commonly used. Not all betas know what the name is, but all alphas should.
Which of these is a proper way to start a campfire?
When you're out in nature, learning how to build a campfire is an absolute necessity. In fact, it's been that way for thousands of years ever since the very first alpha built the very first fire. Since you've made it this far, we have faith in your chances of getting this one right, though we've been wrong in similar regards before. At any rate, if you're not a total beta, you should know how to get a campfire started without using any tech.
What's this lizard called?
This animal happens to be the mightiest of all lizards who walk on land, which is saying something considering the general ferocity of certain lizards. Its stats happen to be off the charts - it runs incredibly fast, is super duper strong and can release a paralyzing stream of venom in its opponents with a single bite, meaning it doesn't even need to use its strength and speed. All of the above make it a super manly animal, one that all alphas should know about.
What's this shark called?
When imagining the archetypal alpha male, you might picture yourself - or someone else, maybe - wrestling a crocodile, shark or other powerful underwater animal. Well, before you can dive out into the middle of the ocean in the middle of the night to show these animals what for, you should at least pay them the respect of learning the name of their species. Not all sharks are the same, of course - by the gods, just look at this one's head!
What exercise is being shown here?
If you even want a chance at not being a total beta, then you need to lift, bro. Specifically, you need to do powerful exercises like the one pictured here. Already you can tell - if the weightlifter being shown has ever been a beta, then he sheds that status with ever repetition of this famous movement. It's one of the primary bodybuilding exercises, and it's an essential tidbit of knowledge in studies of manliness. Let's see if you can name it.
What about here?
While this next exercise isn't quite as famous to the non gymgoer as the last one, it's still a fundamental bodybuilding exercise that you should definitely know about. Really though, if you're hoping to be a true alpha (or be recognized as such), then you should be able to perform this exercise at an intermediate level at least. Proper form is key, since messing around might leave you with a broken back. Thankfully, venturing a guess here comes with little risk.
In Greek mythology, who is the god of war?
There are plenty of gods in Greek mythology that might strike an alpha male's interest, though perhaps the most suitable god in this regard is the god of war. If you've played the video game God of War, you'll be able to get this one right with one hand tied behind your back (like a true alpha) - in any other case, let's hope you've read a book or two in the past. Because alphas can read too, you know.
Who's this legendary British Prime Minister?
While knowledge of multiple British Prime Ministers isn't absolutely essential when it comes to the art of manliness - unless you happen to live in the U.K., in which case you'd owe yourself the basic historical knowledge all alphas must carry with them - the absolute legend pictured here is one of the greatest men of all time, and thus demands respect from all budding alphas everywhere. He's famous for his involvement in World War II, which should tell you everything you need to know.
Match this explosion to the Michael Bay movie
We'll let you go with a bang, since this is a manliness quiz after all. Men should be able to walk away from explosions without turning back to look at them. If you can't manage that, then you should at least be able to match this explosion to the Michael Bay movie. Bay invented the art of the movie explosion, and this is arguably his greatest work. Take a careful look at your options below, and let's see if you can end this quiz on the right note.