Only A True Fan Can Name Every Single Pokemon On This List
- by Edward Cambro
- – on
- in Movies and TV
Our nostalgia-based culture meant that the 90s was bound for a rebirth at some point, and you can’t go on a 90s kick without flannel shirts, unwashed hair and Pokemon. The release of the admittedly brilliant Pokemon Go only magnified the nostalgia’s power. For fans who lapsed as time went on, we have something unsettling to tell you: we’re long gone from the original 151.
Creators have introduced a total of seven generations leading to hundreds of more incredibly dangerous, barely sentient monsters. The exact number is up for debate; the official Pokemon website Pokedex claims a total number of 720. Others say 721, while some sources claim that there are 802 Pokémon in total, not including Mega Evolutions and Alola Forms (don’t ask).
For the lapsed fans desiring a walk down memory lane and a look into what’s changed, you’ll be in for a treat with this quiz. For the stalwart fans who never left, know that we haven’t forgotten about you either. While the quiz isn’t comprehensive, it is cumulative; all six generations of Pokemon are well represented here. Of course, just to add some flavor, we’ve also added in trivia and commentary on the Pokemon world.
So, let’s see if you’re a true Pokemon Master.
The living appetizer
Funny story. My niece has a plush of this Pokemon that she walks around with and refers to as her baby. When she does call him by name, she pronounces it with a strange southern twang. Personally, I think he’d make for a good Cobb salad, but I don’t think she’d approve. He certainly wouldn’t. He’s one of the first Pokemon we’re introduced to, so we thought we’d start this quiz the same way. But, let's be honest, did you ever actually pick him in the Gameboy games?
A water mouse. Really.
Some Pokémon are created just to be adorable, since adorable will sell merchandise. While this Pokémon is not as iconic as Pikachu, he certainly is meant to be as adorable and was pushed to move merch. Well, he certainly is adorable. Then again, you’re hard-pressed to find a fairy-type that isn’t. We'd go so far as to say he's cuter than Pikachu despite them both technically being vermin. Considering their respective types--water and electric--they probably don't get along well anyway.
No one knows who they were or what they were doing, but their legacy remains hewn into the living rock of Stonehenge
That was a reference to Spinal Tap. Just wanted to point out how great I am. Anyway, back to the point: imagine actually living in the Pokémon world. It’s worse than living in a world where superheroes exist. At least the super-powered bunch can actually be reasoned with sometimes. Pokémon are essentially animals with very little reasoning. This one, particularly, travels underground and causes dangerous tremors while also pitching a terrible roar. If it makes you feel better, he looks like petrified balls of cat feces.
Its name sounds like a noise you make when you’re drunk
And he looks like he’s constantly having a nervous breakdown. Oddly, his pokedex entry mentions his breed are known for being calm and collected. Are those Rare Candies actually muscle relaxers? If so, I wouldn’t mind getting a prescription or two. Oh, wait, Pokémon Go said Rare Candies are made from unwanted Pokémon . God, that’s dark. We wouldn't suggest keeping this thing around as a pet for fairly obvious reasons; not only are Pokémon a danger to themselves and others, but the sound this thing makes is irritating.
This little guy fought ISIS
The story goes that a US Marine in Mosul on the frontline of the fight against ISIS took a break to play some Pokémon Go (as one does). Ironically, he found this water-type in the middle of the desert. Knowing a powerful ally when he sees one, Louis Park took a screenshot and sent it out online, challenging the terror organization to a fight. “Daesh, come challenge me to a Pokémon battle.” Yes, Louis Park is a king.
He is what we all want to be
We all could probably afford to sleep a little better. This lucky son of a bitch is living the life. He looks well fed and can fall asleep anywhere at any time. Granted, this isn’t very convenient for the people who have to navigate around the big lummox and we can’t help but think this is the last Pokémon who should ever have a driver’s license, but still, he sure does look peaceful. Like John Belushi in Animal House...or real life.
Is it a cat? An alien? Jesus, he flies too?
If Pokémon has a specific mythology, this little guy is at the center of it. He didn’t evolve from anything and doesn’t evolve to another form from this one. Is he the first Pokemon? Is he a god? It’s hard to say. He’s definitely one of the rarest and considered to be one of Legendary Pokemon. Fan theories--since the canon doesn't go into much detail about anything--is that Mew was the first Pokemon and seeded the world (eww) with the rest of the types. Still, his baby brother is much cooler.
When your powers are based on having a migraine
Look at this unfortunate, miserable creature. This poor, put-upon bastard. What an unhappy life this must be. Sure, you’re incredibly powerful, but until you evolve you’re in a constant state of pain and crippling neurosis. He should become a writer. Just open your beak and drink some whiskey, little buddy. Actually, this might be the first Pokémon to actually use puberty as a metaphor. He sure does grow into himself upon evolving past those horrible growing pains. See? It’s like puberty.
One of the Legendary Pokemon
And Mike Pence’s personal favorite! You have to love the way the bird Pokémon designs have evolved over the years. From straight-forward adaptations of sparrows to the sci-fi and fantasy-embracing badassery worthy of god-powerful entities who can fly. But he still actually speak to communicate. Really, you're lucky if you don't catch this guy in a bad mood. Nothing's more dangerous than an animal that's angry or afraid. This is a strange world where where humans and Pokémon are constantly killing and enslaving each other.
Mike Pence’s second favorite Pokemon
It actually took me a while to remember who this Pokémon was. Sometimes you just don’t leave a big impression. I honestly don’t remember fighting him in the games or even the episode he was featured in. Sorry, pal. You seem nice enough. Bit of a heavy brow, though. Five bucks says this guy can't handle a candle to Black Lightning or Static Shock. Look at him. He doesn't even have good conditioning. Do a sit up once in a way, you lazy animal.
UFC Pokémon
Considering that Pokémon battles are legalized dog-fighting, you might as well have an MMA-styled cage fights with the more bipedal Pokemon, or maybe some underground deathmatches. Zack Snyder would love directing a colorless, spotty-CGI-riddled, gritty bloodbath of a Pokémon remake. If anything, Vince McMahon would try to create a real version of this Pokémon and put him in the main event despite the fans preferring anybody else in the role. Well, at least he doesn't call himself "The Big Dog."
This Pokémon has a Jack Kirby-esque name
Cool name, not the coolest design. This poor bastard looks like tattered clothing of a witch just flapping in the breeze. He’s one of the Generation IV mythic Pokemon, which has become kinda like the NWO of Pokémon at this point. At first is was cool because it was exclusive. Then Virgil joined, and you knew it wasn’t going to last. God, this conversation just hit new levels of geek.
We’re giving this one away
Or are we? You know what family he belongs to. God knows they all have about the same name and they all look nearly identical. Actually, reading that back made me sound kinda racist. That also doesn’t change the fact I’m right. There are plenty of Pokémon who look and are even named somewhat differently as they evolve, but not this one. That whole icon/name-recognition thing probably. Strange though that the evolutionary tract of this Pokémon type has it go from small to large to very, very small. Oh, right, cute toys.
Team Rocket’s mascot
He's so corrupt, he like the Ferengi of Pokemon. And he can talk! Too bad so few Pokemon actually speak. It would save them from being eaten. However, it really does say something about how smart a character he is. It took Pikachu 20 years to come up with a sentence. As the brains of Team Rocket (admittedly not saying much), this streetwise character has managed to keep his humans alive. Unfortunately, he’s still not smart enough to know when to quit.
You don’t make friends with salad! You don’t make friends with salad! You don’t make friends with salad!
Vegans must have it even worse in the Pokémon world than we do here. In the Pokémon world, even the vegetables have faces. We’d say that they’d be left with just drinking water, but never even that seems to be a safe option now either. I guess, in that way, the Pokémon world has solved its vegan problem. As for this character, I don't know what to tell you. I wouldn't bring one into a fight. Maybe put some on the table at a wedding.
You versus the guy she tells you not to worry about
An entire species of Pokémon perfect for licking stamps…and other things. It’s unclear if they all have a peanut allergy, or the Pokémon god was drunk when he made these unfortunate creatures, but here they are, the affront to Darwin that they are. Those tongues must be petri dishes of dirt and disease, just dragging around everywhere. Either that or the tongue is always dry and smelly from always being out of this thing's mouth. Either way it's really quite disgusting.
The "Before" picture of a California Roll
Something about this species makes you think that if they were a human being they’d be curmudgeonly. Crabby, even. Look, if you don’t like the puns, blame the people who name most of these creatures. I really don't understand the purpose of having this type battle. It's literally just a larger version of an already established sea creature that we continually eat. Jesus, just pretend they're a delicacy and overcharge for them like any good seafood restaurant would!
From the mind of Stephen King...
We’re not sure if this is an example of the creative valleys Pokémon developers had in making new characters. Sure, he’s not as outwardly scary as The Joker or as powerful as It and God knows Machamp would decimate him in the underground deathmatches we mentioned earlier, but…but…what was our point? Look, just keep him away from the children. Maybe we could have him rile up the bulls at rodeos and let nature take its course. Little creeps.
People used to pay hundreds of dollars for a piece of paper with him on it
Yeah, the 90s was a weird time for everyone. Parents just didn’t say no. And look where it’s gotten the millennial generation. Sure, this guy is a symptom not a cause, but you can see the problem. Anyway, look, we all know this guy could wipe the floor with Daenerys’ dragons any day of the week. Anyway, the character is cool in and of itself, but was never that big on the show. He only mattered in the card game, which was an absolute waste of money.
Literally every single joke we came up with for this one is offensive
We’re not entirely sure if this Pokémon was meant to be controversial or even if it is worth being controversial. Also, we’re not really sure what the point of this Pokemon’s existence is. It’s been suggested that the true design origins for this Pokémon can be found in or horrifying Japanese Ganguro trend or the Nordic god Hel. As for this Pokémon's actual importance and capability, we can't tell you much. She just hasn't been used very often, if at all after her first appearance.
In the words of Tattoo: “The Plane! The Plane!”
The Mega version of this Pokémon has a what looks like a witch’s hat on his fin. We don’t know why. It’s not even relevant here, but, Jesus. This franchise is really strange. He’s yet another Legendary bird type and needs a marble to evolve into the witch hat Pokémon thing. Again. Strange franchise. I know I've been harping on the fact that the world looks like hell and that Pokémon should be used as food. However, cloning also exists in this world. That means we can clone Legendaries like this and eat them. Problem solved.
Bruce Wayne’s favorite Pokémon
Because he’s a bat, get it? Of the several bat-like Pokémon in this franchise, this one looks the most like a Haunter. What else can we really say? It wouldn't be the first time a lazy creative team reused designed and animations just to save on time and money. Dragon Ball has been doing it for decades and you people still consume it by the truckload. You know who is a character with untapped potential? Well, Vegeta and Piccolo (Gohan's real dad). Bardok. Do some alternate universe story or something like that. At least he has common sense. Goku sucks.
This Pokemon’s name sounds like a medieval insult
Hey, it’s cousin It! Okay, an Addams Family reference in 2018 isn’t exactly timely, but I’ve made references to the Rifleman in some articles, so this one is practically modern by comparison. Oh, wait. This creature also looks like a Targ from Star Trek. Sure, it's only a marginally more timely reference, and certainly a nerdier one, but, well, you'll have to deal with it. Anyway, this warthog/camel monstrosity is actually pretty effective against Zapdos of all creatures. Evolution is funny that way.
His cousin owns a burger shop in Bikini Bottom
It was always fun finding this guy in Pokemon Snap. Oh, and as an extra clue, you can catch this guy if you have sex with dirty people. I had this guy (and his other form) on my main team at different points in Pokémon Red. Sure, he’s not the most powerful but I always found his “coo-kee coo-kee” from the show is somehow rather endearing.
Kirby’s going through some things right now…
This Pokémon evolves from having fingers to not having fingers in its final form. Evolution doesn’t work that way. Evolution made it so that bipeds would have digits and opposable thumbs! This is an aberration, so I asked evolutionary biologist Dr. Lemmy Kilmister about this aberration, and he shrugged. “Evolution is a mystery,” he said. So I said to Hank Williams, “How lonely does it get?” Hank Williams hasn’t answered me yet, but I hear him coughing all night long.
Colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss
Sometimes Pokémon are just adorable. Look at this little guy. Or girl. The bangs make it hard to tell. Anyway, sure, this Pokémon can freeze his fur into icy spikes and turn the area into a Siberian tundra in the middle of January, but…oh, honestly, who would ever want to live in this world? Everything wants to kill you and everything can do it easily. At least in the case of this Pokemon, as dangerous as they are, they’re mostly domesticated.
Wings or fingers?
It would be pretty neat to have this Pokémon fight it out with a Charizard in a deathmatch. Debuting in Generation II, this flying fish dragon is one of the first Legendary Pokémon to be introduced into the canon. It blasts extremely destructive energy beams from its mouth, perhaps stemming from an overwhelming ingestion of Tequila.
You know you’re going to end up with this pain in the ass at some point
The fields were infested with this worthless Pokémon in the Gameboy games, and they were still sick with them in Pokémon Go. It makes sense considering this vermin’s evolutionary roots. Also not a surprise that you could catch these Pokémon in any building in Manhattan. Who’d have thought Pokémon could be so realistic? In this case, we'd have to admit, we probably wouldn't kill and eat these Pokémon. Or any of the other vermin-types. Sure, vermin isn't a type of Pokémon but you catch our drift.
As seen in The Brave and the Bold #28 (March 1960)
Just for a second, pretend Pokémon exist in real life. Tell me he (and his evolutionary other) wouldn’t be hunted to extinction just to collect that big ol’ jewel on its central core and the gold surrounding it. They could also be strung up in a line and used as lighting at beach parties. See, we didn't even bring up the fact that they can be easily cooked and eaten. We're real saints. Can you even eat starfish? Is that a thing?
We’re giving another one away
This iconic rabbit—Rat? Muskrat? Whatever. He’s really popular—was featured in every episode of the original anime. I have to admit to never really caring for him or his specific evolutionary group. Except for Puka, the surfing vermin that showed up in one of the anime episodes. He’d be fun to hang out with. Listening to Beach Slang, watching Endless Summer, Big Wednesday or even Point Break. You know how some girls just love to see a guy with a dog? Imagine that but with a living weapon of mass destruction.
It’s probably safe to say that these Pokémon are swimming with disease
In a world of different species of ghosts, talking cats and psychic entities that can kill you with an errant thought, the idea of a Pokémon that is really just an ordinary bird sounds…disappointing. And also kind of a relief. Sure, they can be a pain, but if you can get a decent Pokemon for self defense, you'll be fine. It’s also disappointing that this Pokemon's attacks don’t have anything to do with spreading disease, smelling terrible or defecating on your car window. Would’ve been perfect.
A bunny dog?
Whatever this Pokémon is, it’s probably the cutest of the lot—from any generation. It’s a particularly unique Pokémon in that it has multiple evolutionary possibilities. You can choose between eight different evolutions along the seven generations of the Pokémon surge to steal your money, ranging from the Pokémon specialty types. It was only three when I was growing up. You kids have it easy. That said, none of the evolutions are as adorable as this original one, though they are definitely more badass.
Somebody melted my modern art
This is considered a “normal-type” Pokemon. Personally, I think it looks like someone was nodding off while drawing a horse that was on fire. What makes this Pokémon special is that it’s the only Pokémon to be able to learn the signature move “Judgement.” This, as it turns out, is not a move that passive-aggressively comments on your life choices or compares you to your much more successful and happy sister. God, this makes me want to take some muscle relaxers and draw things that look just like this Pokémon.
TFW the Dilaudid kicks in
This Pokémon is clearly based on the Sloth, which are not only slothful, but not nearly as cute as the internet would have you believe. There. I said it. Naturally, leveling one up of these Pokémon is slow, though why you would bother leveling one in the first place is a much larger question. Your best bet would be to cut out the middle-man and try to find its evolved form, which is substantially more active and looks like the Mugato from Star Trek.
This Pokémon dreams of one day overthrowing Megatron
The hard-plated skin of this Pokémon makes him tough. Clearly, from his ornate design, he’s a Legendary Pokemon, so he’s powerful on top of durable. The design and color scheme is reminiscent of Frieza from Dragon Ball Z. One would assume Freiza would win a fight between the two, but considering he’s been repeatedly defeated by the absurdly stupid Goku, one can never be too sure. As much as I make fun of DBZ, Pokémon is certainly stuck up its own trope, but now's not the time.
DURRRRRRRRRRRR
God, look at that dumb face. Look, if there was ever a Pokémon that would be patient zero for my campaign to have them all turned into food, it would be this one. Look at him! He's a surprised fish! That's it. Sure, he's bigger than normal ones, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't get caught on a hook, in a net or in any of our stomachs. Also, he evolves into a monster, so best to stem the tide while you can.
Meme-able and adorable
He’s the first stop on the Badass Express. That is unless you get a bizarre and poorly done tattoo of him and it goes viral. Look it up. It’s the funniest type of cringe. Of course, you’d have to guess his name correctly, but if you don’t know who this is, you probably shouldn’t be playing this quiz in the first place. But, by all means, complete it anyway. If I don't start paying back my bookie, he's going to take my thumbs.
Pokémon loves witch hats
So, you’re walking down the street one day. You’re a kid. For some reason, most of society is gone, your mom doesn’t pay much attention to you, and most of the men have disappeared. This is the Pokémon world. As you’re walking, a roaming herd of Rattata eats your only pair of shoes. Your life stinks. Then a bunch of these ghosts starts chasing you in broad daylight. Once again, the Pokémon world is a secret dystopia. Wake up, America!
Even Pokémon had dreams of becoming a popstar…
Again, it was the 90s. There were popstars coming out every four minutes. This Pokémon only had one song and the lyrics, naturally, consisted of him repeating his name. Admittedly, it’s still better than “Chicken Noodle Soup,” “What does the Fox Say,” or anything by the Black-Eyed Peas or LMFAO. His Pokémon song would lull others into a peaceful sleep allowing this otherwise weak creature to escape or gain a tactical advantage. Look, you shouldn't be using him for battles anyway.
From the pond outside the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant...
But at least he only has two eyes and is crazy powerful. As the Pokémon franchise evolved (tee-hee) and created larger mythology centered around god-like characters, the original powerhouses like this guy became small potatoes. As he glares like a disapproving father watching his daughter going out with a loser, remember that at one point, he was actually scary. However, like all disapproving fathers, they are quickly forgotten once they're out of sight and his daughter is getting into your Stingray wearing your letterman jacket.
Wait, wasn’t that the name of a Power Rangers villain?
God, and he looks like one too. Clearly a reference to Godzilla, this sorta Legendary Pokémon has his own built-in armor, making him difficult to defeat. Of course, he isn’t a slouch in the offense department either. Tick him off, and he’ll set off earthquakes that are powerful enough to destroy mountains. How is this world still thriving?
His final form is a psychiatrist
Sure, they’re cute, but with inscrutable features, so like a cat, you can’t really tell if they’re happy and sad. Of course, a cat could only scratch you and passively aggressively run in between your legs in the hope you fall and break your neck. This Pokémon can make create illusions, make you hallucinate, read your mind and destroy you from the inside. However, also like a cat, they tend to sleep 18 hours a day. So, yeah, there's that.
‘Shrooms, man
This Pokémon has a particularly sad history. Once a bug-type, its mind, and body end up being overtaken and overwritten by a parasitic tochukaso mushroom that grows on its back. They’re usually doused with the mushroom spores at birth, and it grows alongside this Pokémon until it can take over. Human trainers often allow for the spores to fester on the Pokémon so they can use the mushroom for medicine. Or, you know, some "medicine" that makes you more appreciative of soft furniture and mediocre music.
♬Love is a fire, burning/And I want to burn ♪
I kept one of these Pokémon in my main loadout back in the old Red Gameboy game, so I have a soft spot for the cuddly firebreather. They’d be real handy in getting rid of the snow in your yard unless you’re that guy in Wisconsin who used a flamethrower on it. Admittedly, that’s cooler. And with a flamethrower, you won’t have to worry about an incredibly powerful animal accidentally adding to deforestation when it sneezes. Anyway, the song I was referencing is called "A Season in Hell" by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band (aka Eddie and the Cruisers). FYI.
Only he can prevent forest fires
These guys could have two great potential uses. First, you can train them as firefighters. Their hard shells will protect them against flames (which they already have a certain resistance to) and keep the already apparently decimated number of humans from further decline. Second, well, how many cows do you see in the Pokémon world? God knows there are plenty of starving people in third world countries who could use the meat. You know what Spock said: "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." So grab a plate.
Float like a Butterfree, sting like a Beedrill
Getting back to our nascent illegal deathmatches, how great would it be to have a bunch of these guys fights each other. Train a bunch and take your best ones and have them fight the best of the Machamps. Now, that would worth betting your kid’s college tuition on. Or you can just have him going around from town to town delivering street justice like in those old vigilante movies from the 70s. Maybe give him a beaten up denim jacket and a theme song.
Sometimes the remake is actually better than the original
You can’t have a Pokémon quiz without the true OG. Sure, in the card game he was pretty much a zilch. However, in the old Gameboy games and in the anime, this character was given a mythic presentation and was eminently powerful when he finally made his presence felt. As a kid seeing this, it was enough to melt your face. Mind you, this is a sentient, speaking Pokemon who resents humanity for his creation and enslavement. Now, is this tragic irony or poetic justice?
The Big Salad from Seinfeld
This Pokémon becomes less cute and cuddly as time goes on. Just like kids. At the evolution this one has reached, he’s essentially a rhino with a garden apartment on his back. That would make anyone a bit moody, especially when you have people using flamethrowers and Flareons to deal with snow. See how I tied that all together in the end? Yeah, that's why they pay me the big bucks. Anyway, did you appreciate that Seinfeld reference? You should. It's a damn classic.
Like Kickboxer without Jean-Claude Van Damme…which is substantially less cool
A tater tot with legs. Look at it. It has no mouth. How does it eat? How does it grow and stay strong and survive long enough to evolve? Does he feed off of the ass-kickings it delivers? Well, whatever the explanation, if I were you, I’d train this guy to be your personal assassin. God knows he won’t be able to rat on you. I've long suggested cooking and eating Pokemon, but if you can't turn this guy into your private thug, just kill him. I wouldn't want to eat this bizarre thing.
When you’re in a coma, but you’re still depressed
Its drool can be fertilizer for plants. If it hurt it, it will scream. I know I’ve said this a lot, but the Pokémon world is one of constant and ever-growing horror. I’m betting that there was some kind of nuclear holocaust that could explain away at least half of these monsters. The rest were created by the government to fight fire with fire only to for the fed to completely screw it up because incompetence and government are inescapable no matter what reality we're in.