Pick Your Favorite Male Actors And We'll Guess Who'd Marry You
- by Chris Flynn
- – on
- in Entertainment
Go watch any major motion picture released at any point over the past 100 years and you will see that Hollywood is full of beautiful women. Seriously, Hollywood is full of stunning actresses. In fact, it almost has as many beautiful women as it does sleazy studio execs to objectify and harass them. Hollywood is also full of beautiful male actors. Granted, there aren’t quite as many of them as there are of their female counterparts, but they are there, as has been proven by movies like Twilight and Magic Mike.
The beautiful women of Hollywood and the handsome men of Hollywood tend to keep their relationships within their star-studded circles, with celebrities mating with other celebrities (albeit, not for life). If you are an average, everyday woman, there's about as much chance of you getting together with Justin Bieber as there is the average, everyday man getting together with Rihanna. But that doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen.
In today’s quiz, you will be asked to choose between a variety of male actor pairings and, based on your choices, we will present you with the Hollywood star most likely to say yes to you. Let’s begin!
Sacha Baron Cohen, Mark Wahlberg, Sylvester Stallone, or Rupert Grint?
Does Sacha Baron Cohen’s lack of regard for authority mean a lack of regard for you? You could play it safe and choose on-screen tough guy Mark Wahlberg or real-life tough guy Sylvester Stallone. If you want a man you can boss around, you might prefer perpetual sidekick Rupert Grint.
Dwayne Johnson, Jeff Goldblum, John Lithgow, or Jon Lajoie?
Massive both literally and figuratively, Dwayne Johnson is everything Jeff Goldblum isn’t, but Golblum’s old-world hospitality is difficult to rival. As a gentleman, Jeff Goldblum is overshadowed only by John Lithgow. If you’d rather have a guy who speaks his mind, comedian Jon Lajoie may be right up your alley.
Will Ferrell, Channing Tatum, Shia LaBeouf, or Anthony Hopkins?
Will Ferrell has established himself as one of the top comedic actors in the industry, while Tatum has become Hollywood’s go-to hunk and LaBeouf its former go-to attractive nerd. Appearing in The Silence of the Lambs as Hannibal Lecter, Hopkins became Hollywood’s go-to anti-hero, but would you go to him?
Michael Caine, Christian Bale, Benedict Cumberbatch, or Martin Freeman?
To many, Michael Caine will never be anything more than the Alfred to Christian Bale’s Batman. For those old enough to remember, however, Michael Caine is the womanizing Alfie. Bruce Wayne and Alfie will both love you and leave you, but who would you rather have your heart broken by?
John Cleese, Kevin Hart, John C. Reilly, or Craig Ferguson?
John Cleese is a veritable comedy legend and while he may be getting on in years, he has enjoyed a string of increasingly younger wives. Kevin Hart’s comedy isn't anywhere near as groundbreaking as Cleese’s, but he has the looks to carry him to the very top of show business.
Liam Hemsworth, Marc Maron, Justin Bieber, or Hugh Laurie?
Liam Hemsworth rose to fame playing the most attractive of characters while Marc Maron rose to fame playing himself on Maron. Justin Bieber rose to fame simply by being an attractive person, while Hugh Laurie rose to fame playing an idiot king on the UK sitcom Blackadder. Who would you rather?
Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise, Evan Peters, or Tom Hanks?
Adam Sandler and Tom Cruise both have enough money to keep you very happy for a very long time. Sandler is not a bad looking guy, but Cruise’s beauty is legendary. Of course, those who choose Sandler won’t have to worry about incurring the wrath of the Church of Scientology. Or would you go for Evan Peters or Tom Hanks?
Richard Gere, Daniel Radcliffe, Timothée Chalamet, or Andrew Dice Clay?
At the height of his career, Richard Gere was one of those frustratingly handsome actors and, 30 years on, not much has changed. While Richard Gere started out handsome and remained handsome, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe had to grow into his looks, but boy do they fit him now! Or would you go for Timothée Chalamet, or Andrew Dice Clay?
Aaron Paul, Bryan Cranston, RJ Mitte, or Matt Jones?
Aaron Paul, Bryan Cranston, RJ Mitte, and Matt Jones all had the honor of appearing in Breaking Bad. Paul played meth chef Jesse Pinkman, Cranston portrayed Walter White, the main character, Mitte played White’s son, and Jones appeared as Pinkman’s idiotic buddy and henchman Badger. Which actor would you rather?
Jimmy Fallon, Owen Wilson, Colin Firth, or Jude Law?
Before finding his calling hosting late night talk shows, comedian Jimmy Fallon appeared in Woody Allen’s Anything Else. Owen Wilson appeared in a Woody Allen movie when he was cast in Midnight in Paris. Colin Firth and Jude Law have also worked with Allen. Whose movie would you rather see?
John Cena, Jack Black, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Hugh Grant ?
John Cena is a real-life professional wrestler, while Jack Black played one in Nacho Libre. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a member of the WWE Hall of Fame. Hugh Grant has never stepped foot in the squared circle, but he’s seen his fair share of brawls. Who’d you rather defend your honor?
Bob Odenkirk, Zac Efron, Zach Braff, or Colin Farrell?
Bob Odenkirk spent years as a starving artist before being cast as Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad. Zac Efron, however, was thrust into the spotlight while still in his teens. Zach Braff’s star has faded with time, but that of Colin Farrell remains shining. Do you prefer success or youth?
Tony Shalhoub, George Clooney, Joseph Gordon Levitt, or Joaquin Phoenix?
We haven’t heard much from actor Tony Shalhoub over the past ten years or so. George Clooney, however, has been in the public eye constantly. Joseph Gordon Levitt has successfully separated himself from his career as a child star, while Joaquin Phoenix continues to confuse audiences. Who would you rather?
Mickey Rourke, Adam Copeland, Jon Hamm, or Mike Myers?
Mickey Rourke stunned audiences with his role in The Wrestler. Adam Copeland stunned audiences when he left WWE for acting and proved himself to be a natural. Jon Hamm stunned audiences with his role in Mad Men. Mike Myers was in The Cat in the Hat… Who would you rather?
Jesse Eisenberg, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Rogen, or Lucas Till?
Jesse Eisenberg is young and awkward. Ashton Kutcher is old and attractive. Seth Rogen is old and big. Lucas Till is young and attractive. Eisenberg, Kutcher, and Rogen have every right to hate Till for his youth and good looks, but millions of women adore him. Are you among them?
Drake Bell, Josh Peck, Bret McKenzie, or Jemaine Clement?
Together, Drake Bell and Josh Peck were a hit in an age where double acts were largely considered unpalatable. Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement saw similar success with Flight of the Conchords. All four actors are doing their own thing today, but who would you most like to succeed alone?
Bill Burr, Dennis Leary, Jerry Seinfeld, or Nick Kroll?
Comedian Bill Burr’s acting career hasn’t been quite as successful as that of fellow comedian Dennis Leary, but the argument can be made that Burr has remained true to his art while Leary has become a sell-out. Of course, selling out pays well and Leary is today worth $25 million. Or would you rather Jerry Seinfeld, or Nick Kroll?
Jim Carrey, Scott Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, or Ed Westwick?
Jim Carrey has dropped off the radar, but when he pops up in public he does so sporting a grey beard and similarly colored hair. The beard suits Carrey pretty well and puts him in hot dad territory, but would you choose him over the hot son of Clint Eastwood? Or would you go in a totally opposite direction with Charlie Sheen, or Ed Westwick?
Neil Patrick Harris, Tom Hardy, Matt Lucas, or Holden Ford?
Neil Patrick Harris, Matt Lucas, and Holden Ford have been praised for inspiring LGBTQ teenagers through their work in Hollywood. If you could spend one night with one of those actors, who would you choose? Or are you going to be slightly more realistic and choose the heterosexual Tom Hardy?
Robert Downey Jr., Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Depp, or Gary Busey?
Robert Downey Jr. is a cornerstone of the superhero motion picture industry. As Iron Man, he has reinvented both the genre and himself. As Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds has also put a unique spin on the movie heroes, but would you rather spend a night with Wade Wilson or Tony Stark? Or will you steer clear with Johnny Depp, or Gary Busey?
Robert Pattinson, Dylan O’Brien, Edward Furlong, or Leonardo DiCaprio?
Robert Pattinson and Dylan O’Brien have used their attractiveness to get to the top of Hollywood. Not too long ago, Edward Furlong could have joined them there. Leonardo DiCaprio isn’t as young as Pattison or O’Brien, but he rivals them both when it comes to hotness. Who would you rather?
Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake, or Pauly Shore?
Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt, and Justin Timberlake are certifiable hunks and each has used his good looks to score roles, even when at the center of a potentially career-ending controversy. Pauly Shore was never a heartthrob, but he is by no means an unattractive man. Who appeals to you more?
Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Jonah Hill, or Taron Egerton?
Not too long ago, Jonah Hill was never mentioned in the same breath as guys like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, but since shedding his excess weight, Hill has become something of a hunk. Would you choose Hill over Affleck and Damon? Or would you prefer somebody like Taron Egerton?
Hugh Jackman, Ryan Gosling, Ezra Miller, or Paul Giamatti?
One of these things is not like the others. Hugh Jackman, Ryan Gosling, and Ezra Miller are among the most attractive men Hollywood, with half a century of setting hearts aflutter between them. Paul Giamatti is an outcast on the red carpet, but would you walk it with him anyway?
Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Danny DeVito, or Rob McElhenney?
Who is your favorite character in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia? Is it Charlie? Dennis? Frank? Perhaps the recently outed Mac? Never mind that. We're far more interested in your favorite actor on the show. Do you tune in to see Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Danny DeVito, or Rob McElhenney?
