Make A Pizza And We'll Totally Guess Your Favorite Actor
- by Ricky Bambuto
- – on
- in Movies and TV
We have some free time ahead of us, and tons of ideas on how to use it. The thing is, we're hungry - so hungry, in fact, the echoes of our stomach grumbles can be heard from across the land. What's more, our stomachs seem to be groaning a single, clear word: pizza! Yes, that must be it - we have a hankering for some pizza, and we won't be able to move on with our lives until it's satisfied.
We're so hungry, the average pizza simply won't do. This one will have to be a truly legendary, epic, ultimate pizza - the pizza to end all pizzas, in other words. It looks like our free time has been accounted for - we'll be making our own pizza from scratch.
Aside from being one of the most popular fast foods in the world, pizza is also the most versatile. Although the conventions are set firmly in place, pretty much anything can be put on top of a pizza. In that spirit, we've listed a number of ingredients below. Let's build the ultimate pizza, and by the end of this adventure, we'll guess everyone's favorite actor!
How are the two connected? There's no time for such philosophizing here - it's pizza time!
What shape will our pizza have?
A pizza is only an idea until we start making it. Before we put some ingredients together, we'll need to figure out what shape our delicious pie will have. We can go the conventional route, or we can try something more experimental...
How big do we make it?
How much pizza are we talking here? Is this intended to be a light supper for one, or will it be feeding a bunch of good people? Even if it's a pizza for one, that doesn't limit its potential size. How big do we make this legendary pizza?
What sort of crust will it have?
To some pizza lovers, the crust is but one of the many details that go into the dish - to others, the crust is absolutely paramount. Since we have the option of customizing our crust here, let's take some time and get it right.
How much cheese are we talking here?
To cheese it up, or not to cheese it up - that is the question. Some pizza aficionados know no limit when it comes to adding cheese to their pizza, others think that the key to good cheesing is mindful quantities. How much cheese are we talking?
Which secondary cheese do we add?
Is this pizza destined to have one type of cheese, or do we dare cheese things up even more and add another type to the mix? There are a variety of secondary cheeses that can pair well with a good pizza - if they're used correctly.
What sauce do we use?
Classically speaking, tomato sauce is always the way to go when it comes to pizza. However, as the artform of pizza has expanded in the present day, we've seen new implementations to the craft. What sort of sauce will we be using here?
Do we add pepperoni?
When it comes to traditional meat toppings on pizza, nothing can hold a candle to pepperoni. We're not sure what it all boils down to, but pepperoni and pizza seem to go hand in hand. Is pepperoni in the cards for this pizza?
What about bacon?
Bacon is a glorious meat, applicable to a variety of dishes. Of course, there's always a spot on a pizza for this lovely addition, though some prefer to keep things simple by omitting bacon from the equation. Do we dare add bacon here?
Do we throw some ham on there?
Will we be meat lovers today, or is there already enough meat on this pizza? We have a lovely, perfectly smoked slab of ham here, just waiting to be sliced up and layered over this pizza. This just might take things to a whole new level.
Are mushrooms destined to be on this pizza?
Mushrooms are always a controversial addition when it comes to pizza - while some consider it a staple, others think that this topping can throw the formula off somewhat. Maybe this pizza can use a sprinkling of sliced shrooms on it.
What about olives?
These freshly marinated olives are ready to be dropped down like rain from the heavens onto this pizza - that is, if that's what we're in the mood for. Like mushrooms, olives are a subjective veggie topping - will we be adding some today?
Should we add green peppers?
This green, delightful veggie topping is a staple for all dressed pizzas, though it might also be the perfect mix for today's custom recipe. If we're feeling up to it, this could really activate the hidden potential of our pizza.
Why not put some spinach, too?
Should we add some spinach to today's pie, or is that way too healthy for us? Sure, spinach might pack a ton of nutrients that are great for the body, but that doesn't mean it'll taste bad on the pizza - in fact, it might add some nice crunch.
Do we dare add some steak to this pizza?
Are we fancy enough to add some beautiful, perfectly cooked slices of steak on our pizza? We might already be working with a ton of meat, but if we're true meat lovers, there's always some room for more. What do we do here?
What about chicken?
Does chicken have a place on this pizza, or should all forms of poultry be kept far, far away? If we pair it with the right ingredients, this meat topping might be just what the doctor ordered. What should we do?
Chorizo! Yes or no?
Descending from the mystical land of Portugal is this gorgeous meat cylinder we call chorizo. It's an exotic topping for a pizza, rarely offered as an option. We have the choice to add it here, and something tells us that we should.
Anchovies! Why not?
Anchovies might just be the most controversial topic when it comes to dressing a pizza. Some believe that these tiny fish can ruin an otherwise perfect dish, while others think that they're the only option that can lift the dish to perfection.
This pizza looks like it can use an egg - or does it?
Who puts an egg on their pizza? Only the brave and daring, that's who - only someone who really thinks outside of the box would consider this as a potential pizza topping. Should we crack an egg over this pizza or not?
Are we brave enough to drop some jalapeno peppers on here?
Courage consumes us like a fire from within, and the only way we can express it to the world right now is with a generous sprinkling of sliced jalapeno peppers over this pizza. This will make the meal more painful, for sure, but pain can be a good thing.
What about some atomic ghost peppers?
If we're really feeling nutty, we might just throw all caution to the wind and add some super, crazy hot ghost peppers to this pizza. These peppers are so hot, we might be exhaling flames for the next few hours - but they might still be worth adding.
Are onions the way to go?
This pizza might already be looking a little crowded, but something tells us there's still a bit of room for some sliced onions on this thing. Some nice, red onions might provide the sort of contrast we need to really kick things up a notch here.
A wild pineapple appeared! Do we put some on the pizza?
Look at that - a wild pineapple has just appeared out of the blue, and if this thing had eyes, they'd be pointed directly at the center of that pizza right now. This pineapple wants to join the crew, but will we be allowing that today.
Psst - here are a few items from our secret menu...
Hey, come in the back of our store for a minute - we can tell that we're speaking with a true pizza connoisseur, so maybe a couple ingredients from our secret menu might be of interest. These selections are risque, to say the least.
Take another look at our secret menu...
Wait - there's even more secret items in our hidden menu. By all means, continue perusing and see if there's a special ingredient that might help tie this whole thing together. After this question, the secret menu disappears forever.
Whoa - prosciutto! Let's add some
We can't believe it - a slab of prosciutto has just shown up out of the blue, and it looks like this one's perfectly cured. A butcher is on standby to slice this baby up fine - the question is, can this pizza use some prosciutto or what?
Are we fancy enough to top this off with truffles?
The fanciest among us won't see a reason not to add a lovely sprinkling of truffles over this pizza. The added taste will be subtle, but just knowing about the increased value of the pizza will help make the experience all the more sweet.
Why not sprinkle this with some fresh basil?
We're almost done building the perfect pizza - next up are our selection of herbs, starting with some fresh basil. Basil and pizza tend to go hand in hand, but maybe a certain quiz taker is looking to build a more modern pie by omitting this herb.
How about some parsley?
The taste of parsley isn't for everyone, for sure, but for a certain quiz taker, this might be the perfect herb to help tie everything together. We have some fresh parsley right here - should it stay at its place, or be shredded atop the pizza?
Is cilantro the way to go?
There are huge Facebook groups out there for people who hate cilantro, but guess what - there's an equal amount for those who swear by the herb no matter what. Those two camps will be evenly split once we answer this question.
How do we like it cooked?
Now that we've decided on all the ingredients, it's time to figure out how we'll be cooking this pizza. Do we blaze it up to the max, maximizing the crunch, or do we undercook it ever so slightly, ensuring maximum doughiness?
How do we slice it?
Most pizzas are sliced in triangular form - this is the traditional way to divide a pizza. However, other options also present themselves at this turn - for instance, we can always slice the pizza into squares, though we're not sure if that would affect the taste.
How many slices do we cut?
Depending on how many people we're serving, we might want to maximize the amount of slices we can get from this pizza. Even if it's a meal for one, who's to say that that one person won't enjoy sixteen slices or more to themselves?
Something to drink with that?
We don't know much, but we do know one thing - this is a salty pizza, and it's sure to brew up a mean thirst within us as we get through it. Thankfully, there's a number of beverages we can choose to wash this beauty down with.
How about a side?
As filling as this pizza will surely be, something tells us that there's still room for a side, but what side will that be? Fries are always a safe bet in these situations, but we can take other routes as well. Let's choose the perfect side for the perfect pizza.
A little dessert never hurt anybody
Even with a record breaking pizza like this one, there's always room for a little dessert at the end - something sweet to cleanse the savory palate. After we gobble it all down, we'll be ready for a good Netflix and nap session.
