Having a crush on someone can be a nearly unbearable feeling, which we’re all bound to experience at some point in our lives.
These crushes usually begin to develop during our younger teenage years, when we don’t have any idea of how to flirt or date without being overcome with embarrassment, leaving you pining over someone who you have little to no chance of ever being with.
And while the intensity of having a crush usually tends to die off with age, we’re all prone to suddenly falling for someone that we work with or someone who we run into on a daily basis at the coffee shop or the gym. Maybe you even have a best friend who you’re starting to slowly develop feelings for. Or maybe you had a Tinder date that didn’t turn out to be half bad.
But how do you know if this is just another passing crush, or if it’s actually something worth exploring?
While every situation is different, there are certainly some signs you shouldn't ignore. And maybe what's even more important, is to know when you actually should ignore your feelings -- especially if you have a tendency to get attached too soon.
So let's find out if it's really love or just a crush!
Do you believe in love at first sight?
If you already believe in love at first sight, then you no doubt have a harder time than most people deciding if someone is just easy on the eyes or your next possible suitor. And it may also mean that you have a tendency to get easily carried away.
How long have you known them?
An easy way to know if someone is just a fleeting crush is if you’ve only known them for a few days or a few weeks. Surely this isn’t enough time to know if you’re truly in love with someone, right?
How did you two meet?
If you’ve already been friends with this person for years, then you already know that you’re fairly compatible. However, if you only recently came across them on Tinder or one night at the bar, you might be two totally different people.
How often do you find yourself looking through photos of them on social media?
Everybody turns into a bit of a Facebook stalker when you develop a new crush. But there’s a big difference between only hunting out attractive photos at 2 AM, and just wanting to learn as much about them as you can.
Are they currently dating someone else?
Maybe you want to try to take things to the next level, but the fact that they’re dating someone else is terribly impeding on your game. If this is the case, you have to decide whether to still go for it, or wait things out and hope for the best.
What do you usually do when you hang out?
The easiest way to find out how you really feel about someone is simply to hang out with them. Maybe you’ve been hanging out for years and your feelings run deep. Or maybe you have never really had some one-on-one time with them, and you’re simply grasping at straws.
Do you two have a lot of inside jokes?
Are you constantly cracking jokes around other people who have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? Any couple who's been together for more than a few years will no doubt have an arsenal of inside jokes, which may mean you’ve already found the love of your life.
Have you ever told them how you really feel?
Sometimes, instead of wasting weeks or years of your time playing a slow game, it’s better to just come right out and tell the person how you really feel. Of course, this tactic can be a double-edged sword and it might result in things horribly backfiring and leaving you embarrassed.
Are you still seeing other people?
Being in a relationship and finding yourself pining over someone else can be a heart-wrenching experience. But before you do something that can’t be undone, you need to decide if you’re truly over your current relationship, or if you just need to get better control over your lust.
Are you on the same attractiveness level as them?
If you’re spending all your time pining after someone who is way better looking than you, we’re sorry to say, but you may be wasting your time. On the other hand, if you think you’re more attractive, then your odds of winning them over are looking slightly better.
What do you like about them most?
If you find yourself fawning over the other person's good looks and perfect body, then there’s a good chance that this is nothing more than a crush. Conversely, if you can’t get enough of their glowing personality and witty sense of humor, it may be love after all.
Do you share the same religious/ political beliefs?
Politics and religion aren’t something you necessarily want to bring up upon first meeting them. But if you’re entertaining the idea of seriously dating someone, you’ll probably want to suss out where their beliefs lie to know you’re on the same page with the big issues.
How often do you two text?
Do you wake up every day and text them good morning? Do they send you a good night before they fall asleep? This may mean that you both have a steady investment in each other's lives. Just beware of texting conversations that always seem one-sided.
Are you ready to settle down?
Before you start even entertaining the idea that you may have found your one true love, you really need to ask yourself if you’re ready for a serious relationship. Even if you want to be with them, it doesn’t always mean you’re willing to sacrifice your personal goals in exchange.
How big is the age difference?
The older you get, the less an age difference seems to matter. But someone who is 25 has a very different view of life than someone who is only 18. So if this is your current situation, it might be best to just look elsewhere.
Have you two ever done the deed?
Introducing intimacy into any relationship too soon could result in a serious breakdown of communication. While one person could end up thinking this means the beginning of something serious, the other person could think they’ve entered into a “friends with benefits” scenario.
How often do you see them?
If your crush is someone who you work or go to school with, then it sounds like you have a daily opportunity to find out more about them. But if it’s someone you only see at the gym in passing, it will be much harder to figure out your feelings.
When you’re lying in bed at night, what do you think about the most?
Throughout the day, there can be so many distractions between work, school, friends, family and, of course, the Internet. But when you’re in bed at night with nothing but your thoughts, what do you more often end up fantasizing about?
Have you ever exchanged flirtatious text messages?
Easily the hardest part about having a crush is wondering whether or not they’re into you too. Of course, if you two have already exchanging sexts, you know that they at least find you physically attractive. Now you just need to find out if their feelings run deeper.
What do you like about them the least?
If you can’t stand their sense of humor or you find their personality as a whole grating, then you shouldn’t need us to tell you that it looks like you're into them for nothing other than their looks. Then again, maybe you find them absolutely flawless.
How old are you?
It’s totally normal for young teenagers to be overcome with one extreme crush after another. It’s just another part of growing up. But if you’re in your mid-20s, there’s a good chance that you’ve learned to separate these fleeting feelings from the serious ones.
Do you feel like your trapped in the friendzone?
Being stuck in the friendzone can only serve to confuse your feelings more since it will likely make you feel like you’re doomed no matter what. But while breaking out of the friendzone can be a challenge, it’s far from impossible.
How do you try and get them to notice you more?
If you have a heavy crush on someone, there’s no doubt that you go out of your way to put your best foot forward every time you know you’re going to see them. But for you, does that mean getting all dressed up? Or simply trying to make them laugh?
If you could be doing one thing with them right now, what would it be?
Are your fantasies about hanging out with your crush always of the carnal nature? Or would you be more than happy to just be in the presence of their company, whether that means enjoying a movie together or going for a long walk?
What do your friends say about the situation?
Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in your own emotions, that you become the worst judge of how to proceed. This is where your friends could come in handy with some sage advice about whether you need to go for it or focus your attention elsewhere.
Have they ever rejected your advances in the past?
If they’ve ever shot you down in the past, it should actually be irrelevant whether or not you have a crush on them or are full blown in love. The fact of the matter is that they’re not interested, and it may be hard, but you need to move one.
When’s the last time you were in a serious relationship?
If you’ve just got out of a serious relationship, it may be more important to worry about yourself rather than immediately jumping to the next person you find attractive. Also, if you've never been in a serious relationship, you may have a harder time separating simple crushes from legitimate suitors.
Do you two share secrets with each other?
If you two confide in each other things you wouldn’t even tell to your closest friends, then it’s clear that you have a bond that runs deeper than a simple fling. Or maybe you just haven’t gotten to that point in your relationship yet.
Do you like the same kind of music/ movies/ TV shows?
Nothing brings two people together faster than a shared love over the latest Netflix show or an all-time favorite film. After all, nobody wants to fire up a relationship with someone who can’t kick back and binge-watch TV with on the weekends.
Have you two ever been in a fight with each other?
If you haven’t even started officially dating and you’ve already been in a fight, that may be a sure sign that you’re not good for one another. Sure, they may be cute, but when it comes to a serious relationship, it doesn’t look like it’s meant to be.
How often do you find yourself reading old texts from them?
If you’ve locked a number of old text messages from your crush it may be because you’re feelings go deeper for them than just a simple fling. You’ve either been hit hard by Cupid’s arrow, or you’re just a full-blown obsessive person. Hopefully, it’s the former.
Have you ever gone on a trip together?
Even the most stable couples will experience their share of turmoil when they embark on a trip together. After all, traveling can quickly become stressful for anyone. But are you two already close enough to have made such a big commitment?
Have you ever spent the night at each other’s houses?
Have you ever been comfortable enough to crash on each other's couches? Or possibly take things a step further and share a bed? This might be a sure sign that they’re into you, but does it say anything about your level of interest in them?
Do you ever talk about your futures together?
If you’ve ever sat around with your crush and talked about where you see yourself in five to ten years, then there’s a good chance that you’ve both entertained the idea of being a big part of each other’s lives in the future, whether it be romantically or otherwise.
Do you ever send flirtatious snaps to each other?
Have you two ever exchanged flirtatious photos of each other? If so, then it’s clear you’re both interested in each other on at least a physical level. But that far from means that they may also be the love of your life.
Do you stay up late at night texting each other?
Do you stay up into the wee hours of the night texting each other? If so, then it’s clear you two have at least some kind of a connection. After all, you wouldn’t want to lose sleep over someone who you simply have a passing crush on.
Do you ever fantasize about marrying them?
If you’re already fantasizing about marriage, then that’s a sure sign that you already think of them as more than a passing fling. However, if you’re not even dating, it may also mean that you need to seriously temper your expectations.
Do you ever doodle their name in your notebook/ diary?
It may be a cliche, but that doesn’t mean some people still don’t do it. Especially if you’re still in school or college and happen to drift off into a fantasy in the middle of class, only to snap back to reality to find your notebook filled with lovey-dovey doodles.
Do you have a tendency to become overly obsessed with someone too soon?
Answering this question will require a little self-awareness, but if you’re the type of person who starts fantasizing about marriage and starting a family with someone before you’ve even held a serious conversation, then you should know full-well that you’re the obsessive type.
If you were to ask them out on a date right now, how do you think they would respond?
Some people prefer to keep their crushes simply as crushes because they know deep down that they would be rejected if their true feelings ever came out. So be totally honest with yourself — what are your odds of going on a date?