If You Pass This WWE Test, You're Definitely A McMahon

Professional wrestling has been around for well over a century at this point. Many promoters have come and gone, risen and fallen, and succeeded and failed. For the last few decades, one name has stood above the rest of the field: McMahon. Say what you will about the family's personal style and theories when it comes to professional wrestling - sure, there have been plenty of dumb decisions - but they have, without a doubt, established themselves as the best promoters over the course of history. Starting with Vince Sr., moving on to Vince Jr., and now with Stephanie, Shane, and Triple H, the McMahons will always be intimately linked to pro grappling.

So, you say you're a wrestling fan? You grew up with Rock N Wrestling and watched every Monday during the Attitude era? You stuck around through the PG era and witnessed Ruthless Aggression? You devoured everything during the Reality Era, and you're up to date on whatever era we're currently in? You think you know everything there is to know when it comes to the McMahon family? Well, this quiz right here is about to prove you wrong. Only the most extreme wrestling fan can come anywhere close to acing this. Let's see how well you can do.

Question 1

At the 2005 Royal Rumble, what injury befell Mr. McMahon?

Remember the 1994 Royal Rumble that had the stupid ending of Bret Hart and Lex Luger being eliminated at the same time? Well WWE has never met an idea so dumb that they couldn't try and do it twice! At the 2005 Royal Rumble, the final two participants came down to John Cena and "Guy From Guardians" Dave Batista, with the winner being a toss-up. Mr. McMahon stormed to the ring to set things straight and pulled a Kevin Nash. What was his injury?

Question 2

Which Royal Rumble did Vince McMahon win?

So.... yeah. Vince McMahon won a Royal Rumble. Seriously. Arguably the second most popular WWE PPV of the year after Wrestlemania, the Royal Rumble has been host to numerous memorable moments in WWE history, including Ric Flair winning his first WWF title, Shawn Michaels entering at number one and winning, and Vince embarrassing his entire roster by winning the whole damn thing. This was during the red-hot McMahon-versus-Austin feud, and Vince won the title to flaunt it in Austin's face. It worked.

Question 3

What does the "K" in "Vincent K. McMahon" stand for?

Vincent K. McMahon. It just sounds imposing, right? VKM - those initials are all you need to visualize that wrestling history and hyperbole. The big man with the big name has always carried himself as an almost larger-than-life character who, at the end of the day, just wants to be considered one of the boys. When he’s hanging out and being friendly, he’s simply "Vince." But the second business enters the picture, out comes big Mr. VKM.

Question 4

What's Vince's favorite term of endearment?

Vince has to make a lot of deals. After all, he’s the most successful promoter in all of wrestling history. And when you make a deal with a smile and a handshake, you need to grease the wheels just a bit. Vince has a way of disarming others with his chummy demeanor. He lets people think they’re in the good with him, that they’re his "buddyfriendpal" and that he would never screw them over. And that’s when he screws them over.

Question 5

Whom did Vince McMahon defeat to become ECW champion?

So, not only does Vince McMahon win the Royal Rumble, making him WWE Champion, but years later, he becomes ECW Champion. Granted, this wasn't the blood, sweat, and more blood version of ECW from mid-’90s Philly. This was the sanitized WWE friendly version that sported some old ECW classics plus Big Show. During a feud with this person, Mr. McMahon faced off with this champion in a handicap match alongside his son, Shane, and Umaga. So yeah... that happened.

Question 6

What’s the name of the exclusive club that Vince McMahon runs?

Vince is one petty a-hole. If someone does him wrong, he doesn't just want to beat that person in his own game, and he doesn't just want to destroy that person. He wants to humiliate that person, which is why Vinny Mac decided to chair this very (thank god) exclusive club. Membership is by invitation only, and trust me, you don’t want to be invited. But if you are, Vince will make sure your initiation is something that you’ll never forget.

Question 7

What classic McMahonism did Vince exclaim as a commentator when he did play-by-play?

Fans who grew up during the Attitude era think of The King and Good Ol' JR when they picture the announce booth. Newer fans have come to accept Michael Cole, despite all of his flaws and idiosyncrasies, as the voice of WWE. But before all of that, in the early days of the Monday Night RAW era and earlier, we were treated to Vince McMahon in the commentary booth. He was okay, except he didn't know the names of moves and said this instead.

Question 8

On an episode of RAW, Vince was revealed as the "Higher Power" and leader of what faction?

The basics of wrestling are simple: there are two people, and they want to beat each other up. Everything else is just set dressing. But somewhere along the way, some genius thought, "What if there were two people who wanted to beat another two people up?" And tag teams were born. Then, years later, someone thought, "What if there were a bunch of people who wanted to beat a bunch of people up?" That's how factions were invented. There hasn't been a good idea in wrestling since.

Question 9

In 2002, whom did Vince say he was bringing back "to kill his creation"?

2002 was a weird time for wrestling. Well, to be completely honest, all the time is kind of a weird time for wrestling. I mean, it's wrestling. After WWE bought WCW and took on the wrestlers that didn't have fat contracts to ride out, they pretty much wiped away any value that brand once had. But when 2002 came around, some of those big 'stars' saw that their contracts were up and looked to come in. Whom did Vince bring in to "kill his creation"?

Question 10

What’s the name of Vince McMahon's theme song?

Theme songs are important. The right theme song sets the mood for the wrestler who’s about to appear. It builds that anticipation. It’s immediately recognizable so that the crowd pops at that first note. It’s synonymous with the wrestler who enters to it. Vince McMahon has a very good theme song. When it starts to blast through the arena, everyone knows a crazy 70-year-old man is about to duck-strut down that aisle and ramble on about something.

Question 11

What’s the name of Shane McMahon's theme song?

Shane McMahon has been a pudgy jerk, naturally inserting himself into every storyline to get himself moreover almost as much as Vince has. Vince isn't pudgy, though. Sure, Shane-O-Mac looks like he recently discovered HGH and has been pumping himself up to try and look as manly as one of Triple H's side pieces, but it looks unnatural. His body just wants to be a bit tubby. Shane is best known for throwing himself off of stuff and having the worst-looking punches in the history of wrestling.

Question 12

What’s the name of Stephanie McMahon's theme song?

Stephanie McMahon has been stinking up Monday Night Raw for well over a decade now. Anytime something happens in the women's division, you can bet Steph is about to make her way down to the ring to take 20 minutes to get to a simple point and make everyone look terrible so that she can look good. Steph has put on lots of muscle recently because that’s what Hunter demands of his women, and his fantasy has always been to have Vince make love to him while saying, "You're the best, pal."

Question 13

What championship did Shane retire after winning it?

It’s bad enough that the big man, Vinny Mac, has been a multiple-time champion. I mean, it was at least part of one of the hottest angles in history. But this lumpy turd, Shane-O-Mac, is a multiple title holder as well. Yes, the little dude with the absolute worst working punches in the business has beaten actual WWE superstars. For titles. Well, he does do that little dumb dance before he throws his pansy slaps, so I guess the other guy is stunned - I stand corrected.

Question 14

At what PPV did Vince McMahon lose the ECW championship?

When you think of hardcore wrestling, you automatically think of Vincent K. McMahon. Oh boy... that’s right. We’re going into the ECW title reign. When WWE ran an ECW-only pay-per-view, it was so successful that they decided to reboot the brand. It wound up on Syfy Network, and they had a wrestling vampire. The brand became somewhat of a joke, although it did have some young up-and-coming talent, as well as Vince McMahon wearing a doo rag.

Question 15

What broadcaster did Vince fire when an illness made them "not pleasant to look at"?

Vince McMahon isn’t described as a ruthless businessman for nothing. This is the dude who coined the term "Ruthless Aggression." Being ruthless evidently amounts to being a heartless prick. When one of his commentary team, a member who was already constantly picked on and belittled by McMahon, was struck with a serious affliction that left his face partially paralyzed, Vince fired him. Vice thought he was doing his viewing audience a solid by not making them look at the dude. Ruthless prick.

Question 16

Who lost the Hardcore Championship to Shane McMahon?

Seriously, brah? The pudgy pompadoured prick Shane-O-Mac has won multiple titles? Well, if you watched WWE in the late ’90s to the early 2000s, you would know that the sad answer to that question is "yes." It takes some major-league cajoles to step into the squared circle with less than zero athletic ability and ask one of your dedicated superstars to lay down for you. Shane has had a few entertaining matches with Kurt Angle, but honestly, Kurt would’ve had a better match with an inflatable doll.

Question 17

What’s Vince McMahon's estimated net worth?

How do you measure people? Are they the accumulation of the good deeds they've done? Are they the value of the positive memories they leave behind. No, they’re neither of those dumb things. People's worths are determined by how much wealth they accumulate. It’s a very simple concept: if someone has more money than you, then that person is better than you. The person with the most money is the best, and the person with the least sucks. Vince is doing pretty well.

Question 18

What was the name of Vince's failed bodybuilding promotion?

Vince McMahon loves muscles. The dude just cannot get enough of them. He likes them on him, and he likes them on his wrestlers. That's why, even at Vince's advanced age of 103 or however old he is, he still has an impressive physique. This interest - or sick obsession - with disgustingly huge physiques led Vince to try to start a league for bodybuilding. What person could pass up a chance to watch big oily dudes pose on PPV? Every person, it turned out.

Question 19

What was the name of Vince's failed football league?

You’ve got to give Vinny Mac credit - he’s persistent. After the failure of his bodybuilding league as well as never having the least bit of success in any of his ventures other than professional wrestling, Vince McMahon decided he wanted to create a football league. Oh, but not just any football league - an EXTREME football league! This would have harder hits, no fair catches, and an over-the-field camera (the only lasting contribution of the league). Word is, Vince is trying to resurrect the league to appeal to idiots offended by kneeling.

Question 20

What is Stephanie McMahon's official title within WWE?

Throughout the history of WWE, there have been many completely worthless performers. The Gobbledy Gooker comes to mind. But very few compare to the character that Stephanie McMahon plays on TV when it comes to absolutely terrible characters that hurt every good thing they touch. With how horrible her character is, let's focus on her as a person. She has a very high position within WWE's corporate ladder that she earned by being born to her parents and not dying.

Question 21

Whom was Stephanie going to marry before Triple H drugged her and married her in Vegas?

The Attitude era was an amazing time in WWE history. The Rock and Stone Cold were so entertaining that we, as an audience, were able to ignore how terrible many of the other characters were and the utter stupidity of the storylines. So, Stephanie McMahon was engaged to this dude, but before she could marry him, it was revealed that Triple H had drugged Stephanie and married her while she was unconscious in Las Vegas. But then, it turned out that Stephanie was in on it the whole time. Well, when it's laid out that way, I guess it makes sense.

Question 22

What did Stone Cold hit Vince over the head with when Vince was in the hospital?

It was a classic episode of Monday Night Raw. Vince McMahon was in the hospital and lo and behold, one of the doctors turned out to be Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin pulled a similar trick on Bret Hart once when he posed as an EMT in an ambulance attending to Hart. Wait, is Austin a doctor for real? He keeps popping up playing medical professionals. Curious... So, Austin showed up and hit Vince on the head with this thing.

Question 23

While Vince was in the hospital, what character did Mick Foley debut to cheer him up?

That hospital episode of Monday Night Raw really turned out to be a classic. Not only did Stone Cold Steve Austin show up in a surprising fashion, but good old Mick Foley also accompanied Vince and tended to his every need. Foley tried his darnedest to put a smile on Vince's face. He brought balloons, he had a clown, and I guess that's pretty much it. Oh, he also debuted one of his most beloved characters. But alas, nothing cheered the old sourpuss up.

Question 24

What charges were brought against Vince by the FBI?

In 1993, federal charges were brought against old Vincent K. McMahon, and it was a pretty serious situation. The wrestling sheets at the time were insinuating that Vince could go behind bars and that the WWF would be in Linda's hands. Jerry Jarrett was brought in, at one point, in case Vince wasn't around to be the head decision maker. But the FBI overshot their easier possible convictions and went for the whole shebang. In the end, they couldn't prove anything, and Vince remained a free man.

Question 25

Where does Vince live?

The life of a WWE superstar is a hectic, seemingly never-ending road trip all over the world. They get on a plane, land in a new city, check into the hotel, wrestle that night, then start the whole process over again. Vince likes to think of himself as one of the boys, and he hits the road for TV tapings alongside his crew. But where does he stay when he’s home? Where are his roots? Where is the McMansion?

Question 26

Vincent K. McMahon isn’t actually a junior because his father had a different middle name. What was his father's name?

We all know the story of how Vince McMahon Jr bought the company from his dad, Vince McMahon Sr. Wait, what? You don't know that story? Well you should. That's on you. Turns out that story has been a lie this whole time. The Vinces aren’t actually a junior and a senior! They have different middle names! The conspiracy theories are true! Everything you know is wrong! Also, they just used "junior" and "senior" as nicknames. So, I guess it's cool then.

Question 27

What diva did Vince instruct to "Bark like a dog"?

You know, we’re all aware that these people are playing characters. But it comes to a point, especially with Vince, that the characters are being put into these situations because the actors wish to be in them. Yeah, Vince is a megalomaniac egotistical character and should act like one to drive the point home, but also that can serve as an excuse for the man to act out his fetishes and personal oddities, like when he commanded a diva bark like a dog or be fired.

Question 28

What half-supernatural tag team did Vince and Shane defeat at Backlash 2006?

Let it never be said that the McMahons go for subtlety. If Vince discovers that a performer is into something and he gets an idea for it, he’ll rub it in the performer’s face non-stop on TV well past the point of ridiculousness. This was the case at Backlash 2006. Vince and Shane teamed up to take on one of their superstars and his supernatural entity partner. The only thing more insane than the match was the promos leading up to it.

Question 29

Who did Vince think the true identity of Mr. America was?

In 2003 a new, young, and exciting, masked superstar showed up on Smackdown and started to take the show by storm. Nobody knew where this masked man came from; all we knew was that he loved his country and called himself "Mr. America." But Vince McMahon swore up and down that Mr. America was a superstar that he had recently gotten rid of, despite not having any concrete evidence. McMahon challenged him to a lie-detector test, an arm wrestling contest, and more. To this day, no one knows the true identity of Mr. America.

Question 30

In 2008, what did Vince give away to random viewers on Raw?

Way back in the halcyon days of the late aughts, 2008 to be exact, Vincent K. McMahon decided that Monday Night Raw needed a little gimmick to get viewers to tune in. So, Vince made an announcement. First, he reminded everyone that he was a very, very wealthy man, which was something he liked to often do anyway. Then, he announced that some of his wealth would be used in an exciting new promotion. And that promotion produced some of the most boring segments in the history of RAW.

Question 31

What’s the name of the new business venture Vince recently created and funded?

Vince has a whole lot of money, and when folks with a whole lot of money start moving that money around, other folks start to take notice. McMahon recently sold 3.34 million shares of his personal WWE stock to the tune of roughly $100 million and put it into a brand new company he created that supposedly has nothing to do with wrestling. This company also filed several trademarks having to do with the failed XFL and other football-related names.

Question 32

What arena does Vince consider to be WWE's home field?

From way back in the day, this arena was home for the McMahon family. Even before WWE was WWE, before it was the WWF even, Vince Sr. and Vince Jr. saved the biggest and the best playground for their top stars. Before the days of weekly television, if a title change or a big angle was to take place, it took place there. And with WWE's stranglehold on the arena, if any other stars wanted to compete there, they had to work for the territory up north.

Question 33

Who kidnapped Stephanie McMahon, tied her to a crucifix-like symbol, and attempted to marry her in the ring?

Okay, so we already had a question pertaining to Stephanie McMahon being drugged, kidnapped, and forced to marry someone against her will. But this is the other time she was kidnapped. See, she wasn't drugged this time, and the marriage ended up not happening. At the last second, Stone Cold Steve Austin's music hit, and he came down and delivered stunners to everyone. You know... weddings would be a lot more entertaining if that happened more often. Make sure the theme music is going, though. It's all about the theme.

Question 34

In 2002, who ran over Stephanie McMahon's dog, Lucy?

WWE isn't about wrestling matches; it’s about stories, people! And back in 2002, we were treated to this stupid story involving Stephanie McMahon's hated dog, Lucy. You see, Steph won custody of the dumb dog in the separation she was going through with Triple H. Lucy was beloved by Triple H, but Stephanie didn’t give two craps about him. So, she had this guy walking her and feeding her and accidentally running her over. This set up Triple H's Wrestlemania match that year. In a completely unrelated note, Trips goes out of his way to make other wrestlers look dumb,

Question 35

What song did Vince perform at the 1987 Slammy Awards?

Okay, we’ve come to this point. If you’ve been a wrestling fan for any respectable amount of time, then you probably knew or were able to figure out most of the questions up to this point. Not this one, sucker! This is the one that separates the hobbyists form the die-hards. A lot of you may not have been born before the 1987 Slammy Awards! Well, tough luck! Just give up. Or take a lap, and come back to it.

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