If Social Networks Were People, Which One Would You Be?


We live in the era of social networks. From morning until dusk, our favorite social networks follow us around like a beloved new puppy dog -- or maybe like a disease, depending on who you ask. Facebook, Instagram, and all of the others hang out in our pockets or linger at our desks, always begging for us to take another peek, and sending us those beeping little alarms anytime they want our attention again. Each social network comes with its own demands, its own needs, its own unique little joys, however fleeting those joys may be.

But what if instead of having social networks... we actually were social networks?

Social networks are already so much like people, anyway. Every social network has its own personality, its own vibe, its own unique identity. Some social networks are gregarious social butterflies, flitting about and spreading good cheer to everyone. Other social networks have a more introverted vibe, where like-minded individuals share drinks in a more intimate setting. In this way, social networks are just like human beings: each one is an entity unto itself, with its own strengths, weaknesses, insecurities, and preferences. So in a world much like ours, if Social Networks Were People, Which One Would You Be? 

Question 1

Preferred Social Setting

Humans are inherently social creatures: we're pack animals, and a "lone" wolf is a "lonely" wolf. But when it comes to preferred social settings, everyone has their own comfort level. What about you? Do you like big and loud parties, or are you more into intimate, candlelit conversations with old friends? Or maybe you like both, but what would you prefer on a weekend night?

Question 2

Relationship Status

Everyone is always thinking about relationships. Either you have a partner, or partners, or you want one, or maybe you like to keep things casual, but there's something going on in your life... or maybe there isn't, and that's okay too. Either way, let us know. Do you have a special someone?

Question 3

Reason to See a Bad Movie

Okay, picture this situation: let's say your friends all want to go see a new movie. You've watched the trailers, and you think the movie looks terrible in every way, and you really don't want to see it at all. What could convince you to go see it with your friends, despite your apprehensions?

Question 4

Conversation Topics

So tell us, our fellow Social Network people, what do you like to talk about? Obviously you probably can chat it up with the best of them (or not), but we all have our favorite topics. If you could steer the conversation into any direction you wanted, what would be your preference?

Question 5

Weird New Experiences

How open-minded are you about trying bizarre and strange new experiences? Would you love to take a flight into a weird new country where everyone speaks a different language, or go skydiving, or maybe try eating chocolate-covered cockroaches? Or are you a more conventional person at heart, maybe more of a homebody? Let's hear it!

Question 6

Political Stance

Now listen, no judgment here. As far as we're concerned, your political opinions belong to you, and part of what makes democracy great is your freedom to express those opinions in any manner that you see fit. However, we do want to know WHAT your political stance is, in order to assess your personality, so give us the details!

Question 7

Talkaholic, Or Person of Few Words?

Some people never stop talking, and they go on and on about everything that pops into their heads. Other people are like clams, sealed shut, never opening their lips unless they're pried open by force. Most of us, of course, are somewhere between the two extremes. But what about you? How big of a talker are you?

Question 8

Cleaning and organization

We all take care of our own space in our own special way. Some of us are super detailed oriented perfectionists, maintaining their home, kitchen, and office with a fastidiousness that seems alien (or maybe psychopathic). Meanwhile, others among us are sloppy, lazy, or maybe just too busy to take the time. What about you?

Question 9


While we're speaking about household chores, how are you in the kitchen? Is cleaning something that you really enjoy doing, a fun hobby? Are you able to whip up some killer dishes that would make all your friends and relatives jealous? Or are you a dunce in the kitchen, who has no idea what you're doing?

Question 10

Preferred Vacation Spot

Good job, you've done it. Your PTO was approved, you've saved up a whole boatload of money, and you've got two weeks to do whatever you dream of. Now, with total freedom and funds to support your imagination, where do you want to spend your dream vacation? Seriously, anywhere you like!

Question 11

Current Events and Gossip

The world is buzzing with breaking headlines every day, both good and terrible. In your personal life, your friends are getting married, or breaking up, or having kids, or getting a crazy new job. Are you up to date on everything? Or do you always seem to get way behind on the news?

Question 12

Social Connections

In this new globalized world, we all weave our own long, complicated webs of socialization. Some of us have lots and lots of friends all over the world, while some others seem to exist in a bubble. What about you? How many social connections do you have, and how close are they?

Question 13

What kind of fan are you?

Okay, so let's say you have a favorite TV show, and that the rest of the world is crazy about this show as well. Assuming that you're a fan of this TV show, and you love expressing it somehow, what would be your preferred way to share that fandom with others? What kind of fan are you?

Question 14

Favorite Movie Genre

Okay, it's time to pick our your favorite movie genre. Now do understand, we realize that your actual favorite movie genre might not be on this list, but pick the one that you like the best. There are lots of great movies out there, but if you had to sit down and watch one, which type of film would you prefer?

Question 15

Favorite Food

Okay, so what's your favorite food? In all fairness, we're aware that your ACTUAL favorite food might not be any of the four options listed below, but for the sake of getting some sense about your personality, just let us know which out of the foods below you would love the most -- or which one best suits your lifestyle.

Question 16

Work/Family Balance

Everyone has to find some way to maintain the dreaded balance between work and family, in order to ensure both a good family life and also be able to afford basic accommodations. In the meantime, those of us with vibrant creative passions have to somehow fit in a powerful third element into this already tricky seesaw. How do you find that balance? Or do you even try?

Question 17

Fashion Sense

Everyone likes looking in the mirror and being impressed with what they see, and like it or not, fashion has a lot to do with that. Some people are constantly changing styles like the seasons, while others maintain a good fashion sense through doing a good timeless look. What about you?

Question 18

Preferred Career

Now, we're not saying that this the career you DO work in. But if you had these four options to choose from, and you didn't have to worry about going to school or anything like that, which of these jobs do you think would be the most fulfilling for you? Let us know!

Question 19

Driving Style

If you're going to get around the world, there are few things as useful as having your driver's license. But once people hit the road, they have a tendency to transform into different people entirely. Some people morph so dramatically that they become unrecognizable. What kind of driver are you?

Question 20

Drug of Choice

No, no, no, we know that you don't ever do drugs (sure). But if you had to pick one, which would it be? Keep in mind, there are a lot of legal drugs that are deeply integrated into society, so you don't have to be a crazy rebel about this. But you CAN be a rebel, if you want to...

Question 21

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

God of Tits and Wine

If there's one thing that makes a person really show their true colors, it's having a couple drinks of alcohol. Drinking brings a lot out of people -- good and bad -- by lowering inhibitions, and making people feel free to speak out about their truest feelings, act out, and so on. What kind of drunk are you?

Question 22

Favorite Drink?

Okay, so while we're talking about getting inebriated, let's discuss HOW you like to drink. Are you picky about it? What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? After all, everyone has their preferences, and some will only take their alcohol in a certain way. Others, of course, can drink just about anything. What about you?

Question 23

Your Greatest Fear

Everyone is afraid of something, no matter how brave they might be. Whether it's the goblin under the bed, the ghost in the cabinet, or the landlord beating on your door demanding last month's rest, there's something that gives you the willies. Tell us which of these things seems the scariest to you.

Question 24

Your Musical Taste

Guitar TV

Everyone listens to music. And why not? Music is great: it's an art form that vividly captures human emotion, connecting with people across all divides. But with so many musical genres out there, from bluegrass to rap to classical, everyone has to have a certain taste and preference. What is yours?

Question 25

Your Ideal Saturday Night

Go you, you've finally made it to the end of the work week! Or maybe you work Saturdays, but for the sake of this question, let's assume that it's up to you. If you could spend your big Saturday night in any way that you pleased, how would you like to spend it?

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