How Well Do You Know Stewie Griffin?


Family Guy is a cultural phenomenon. The critics might not agree with the show’s legions of fans as they find the plots unfocused and the humor juvenile, but it’s hard to argue with the ratings. The show is huge – you’d be hard-pressed to find a TV viewer who can’t rattle off a bunch of quotes from the show. And if you asked them, those quotes would probably be Stewie Griffin quotes. Stewie, the Griffins’ angry, camp, foul-mouthed, matricidal baby, is seen by many as being Family Guy’s breakout character (the character who becomes the most talked-about or prominent as a show becomes more popular).

In 1999, Seth MacFarlane won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Voice-Over Performance for his David Hyde Pierce-esque portrayal of Stewie. He’s frequently featured on lists of the best characters. IGN named him the best Family Guy character, Wizard magazine placed him on their greatest villains of all time list, called him the 15th gayest character on television, and he took the 45th spot in Entertainment Weekly’s “Top 100 Characters of the Past Twenty Years.” An Orlando Sentinel critic called him “a brilliant creation.” Stewie is everyone’s favorite character. But how well do you know him?

Question 1

What food does Stewie hate?

A lot of Stewie’s characteristics from the early seasons of the show have been either changed or petered out over the years. For example, he isn’t as hell-bent on killing Lois as he used to be. In fact, he doesn’t mention it at all anymore. One might wonder if he even still wants to do it. He also used to use fancier words and be a lot more diabolical. One trait from early seasons was his hatred of a particular food. What food was it?

Question 2

What is Stewie’s middle name?

Seth MacFarlane hasn’t given all of the Griffin children middle names. Peter doesn’t have a middle name and Lois’ is Patrice, although she isn’t really a Griffin. Brian doesn’t have a middle name, but he has taken the last name Griffin. However, two out of the three Griffin kids do have middle names. Meg doesn’t have a middle name, and even her first name is disputed sometimes (it’s either Megan or Megatron, depending on which parent you’re asking). But Chris has been given the middle name Cross (i.e. Christopher Cross), and Stewie has been given one. What is it?

Question 3

What does Stewie think sex is?

In the episode “Chick Cancer,” a game of house that Stewie plays with his sort-of girlfriend gets all too real as he experiences the stress of work and supporting a household and the pitfalls of marriage. Eventually, he walks in on his ‘wife’ having an ‘affair’ and he burns the house down. During one of the conversations with his ‘wife,’ Stewie reveals that he doesn’t know what sexual intercourse is. Rather than what it really is, he thinks it is what?

Question 4

Who does Stewie play in the Blue Harvest specials?

Family Guy parodied the original Star Wars trilogy in three brilliant specials, dubbed “Laugh It Up, Fuzzball: The Family Guy Trilogy” when grouped together. With George Lucas’ blessing, the Family Guy staff pretty much remade A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi as Family Guy episodes, with the residents of Quahog filling the Star Wars roles. Peter is Han Solo, Chris is Luke Skywalker, Lois is Princess Leia, and Brian is Chewbacca. But who is Stewie?

Question 5

What is Stewie’s favorite TV show?

In the episode “Road to Europe,” Stewie is shown to be infatuated with a BBC children’s show in which a lovely woman named Mother Maggie presides over some children and storytelling barnyard animals. Stewie loves the show so much that he travels to England with Brian in order to visit the set, only to find that it’s not at all what he was expecting, the sets are cheap, and the actors are horrible people. What’s the name of that show?

Question 6

What is the name of Stewie’s teddy bear?

Stewie takes his teddy bear everywhere. He even stopped hating Lois when she saved the bear from a savage dog at the park. He claims to play choking games with the bear and fantasizes about the bear’s head on a ripped man’s body. They’ve taken trips to the beach and spend every waking moment together. Every kid loves their teddy bear when they’re little, but Stewie is basically in love with his teddy bear. What is the name of his teddy?

Question 7

Which iconic Stephen King character did Stewie play?

Family Guy did an episode called “Three Kings,” which was basically three short adaptations of Stephen King books populated with the Family Guy characters in place of King’s characters and crammed into a thirty-minute comedy slot. The King books that the episode covered were Stand by Me, Misery, and The Shawshank Redemption. Now, technically only Misery is a book, and the other two are short stories and they were published under different titles (only coming to be known by those titles thanks to their movie adaptations). Anyway, which iconic King character did Stewie play?

Question 8

How old is Stewie?

Yes, physically, he is and always has been one year old. But strictly speaking, thanks to the events of “The Big Bang Theory” (the Family Guy episode, not the CBS sitcom it often rips on), that trippy episode where Stewie and Brian ended up in the Renaissance times, Stewie is actually much older than that. He may look like a baby, but Stewie is technically the oldest character on the show – even older than Herbert or Carter. Taking into account the years he spent cryogenically frozen, how many years old is Stewie?

Question 9

What name does Stewie go by in the future?

In the Family Guy movie “Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story,” baby Stewie travels to the future to find that his future self is totally lame. He hasn’t achieved world domination, he hasn’t murdered Lois – he hasn’t even had sex. The movie isn’t really a movie at all; it’s actually just comprised of three episodes, including “Stewie B. Goode” and “Bango Was His Name-O,” stuck together in a continuous 88-minute feature-length runtime. In the future, Stewie no longer goes by Stewie, but instead by a new moniker. What is it?

Question 10

Who does Stewie mistake Quagmire for?

In the episode “Baby Not on Board,” Stewie is accidentally left at home alone while the rest of the family go on vacation, leaving him to fend for himself for a few days. It’s far more grim than the Macauley Culkin movie Home Alone, mind you, because this is Family Guy after all. During the episode, he sees Cleveland and Quagmire and says, “Oh, no, it’s Cleveland and...” but instead of Quagmire’s name, he says the name of a celebrity upon whom Quagmire’s facial features are based. Who is it?

Question 11

What soda commercial does Stewie parody?

In “The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou,” Stewie gets a tan and becomes obsessed with it, tanning as much as he possibly can. He has people over for a Tony Lacey-style Annie Hall party. Later, he has a cancer scare and Brian helps him cross off all the items on his bucket list (“Olive juice you, too”) before it’s too late. There’s a scene where Stewie drinks a soda can and parodies its commercial. Which popular 90's soda was it?

Question 12

Where does 35-year-old Stewie work?

In the episode, “Stu & Stewie’s Excellent Adventure,” one of the three episodes that make up the closest thing we’ve ever had to a Family Guy movie (“Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story”), baby Stewie visits a future version of himself at the age of 35. Now, this version might not still be the adult that Stewie becomes, since he intervened and we all know how time travel works. But the version we saw was a loser. He was a virgin, he hadn’t succeeded in killing Lois or dominating the world, and he had a boring 9 to 5 job. Where was that job?

Question 13

What show’s cast did Stewie teleport into his bedroom?

In the episode, “Not All Dogs Go to Heaven,” Meg becomes a born again Christian and attempts to convert a staunchly atheist Brian to Christianity. Meanwhile, Stewie attends a TV convention and attends a panel for a show he likes and finds that he can’t get any of his questions to the cast. So, he builds a transporter and beams the cast of the show into his bedroom so he can spend the day with them. However, he becomes so infuriated with them that they ruin the show for him. What show was it?

Question 14

Which actor does Stewie despise?

There’s one Hollywood actor in particular who Stewie Griffin hates. In the episode “You May Now Kiss the...Uh...Guy Who Receives,” Stewie poses as an air traffic controller and sends his private jet into the ocean. Then, when he arrives at the house looking for Stewie, Stewie shoots him in the head with a crossbow. At another time, Stewie is talking to him and trying to insult him, but the actor responds positively and Stewie can’t get through to him. Seth Green does the impression of this actor on the show. Who is he?

Question 15

How did Stewie’s head get its football-like shape?

In the episode “Stuck Together, Torn Apart,” in which Peter and Lois attempt a trial separation to see other people (where Lois reluctantly goes on a date with Quagmire and Peter goes on a date with Mort’s friend who happens to be Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Brian and Stewie’s hands get stuck together by a super-strong glue, a cutaway flashback scene shows how Stewie went from having a normal-shaped head to having the football-like shape we see on his iconic character design today. What happened?

Question 16

Who replaced Stewie in The Real Live Griffins?

In the episode “Fifteen Minutes of Shame,” the Griffins were given their own reality TV series, The Real Live Griffins. By way of satirizing the business of so-called ‘reality’ television, the show skews reality so much that it no longer represents ‘the real live Griffins.’ First, Meg is replaced by a hot blonde. Later, as the Griffins bring demands to the network heads, they are all replaced by actors. Tom Arnold plays Peter, Fran Drescher plays Lois, and Philip Seymour Hoffman plays Chris. Who plays Stewie?

Question 17

What color were Stewie’s clothes originally?

Of course, Stewie’s clothes as we know them now are a yellow shirt with red overalls, which he can proudly snap up all by himself. But it wasn’t always like that. When Seth MacFarlane was pitching the show to various networks (and likely trying desperately to paint it as anything other than a total rip-off of The Simpsons), Stewie’s clothes were completely different colors. It was still the same outfit, with the shirt and overalls, but they were very different colors. What colors were they?

Question 18

What is Stewie’s favorite song?

Stewie has a long, well-documented history with music. He breaks out into spontaneous musical numbers all the time, especially in the “Road to...” episodes with Brian. They sung a song in Saudi Arabia, they used a song to rent a helicopter, and they were about to sing to Hitler before Mort Goldman cut them off. He even made a music video to woo Joe’s daughter. In one episode, Stewie revealed to the audience what his favorite song is. What was it?

Question 19

What random noun did Stewie call Lois’ hair color?

Originally, when Seth MacFarlane was first developing the character designs for Family Guy that would eventually become the iconic looks we know and love today, he gave Lois blonde hair. After much deliberation, he decided to change it to red. In the episode “Stewie Loves Lois,” Stewie has a change of heart about Lois and becomes obsessed with his mother. He compliments her hair, telling her, “We should make up a name for your hair color. We could call it like strawberry sunset or ginger maiden, or one of those hair color names that’s a random noun like...” what?

Question 20

What does Stewie call Lois’ womb?

Stewie has come up with his own special name for Lois’ womb. Back in the early days of the show, when he used much fancier words and references that many viewers didn’t get and he used to call Lois “vile woman” and fantasize about killing her, he would remember when he “escaped” from Lois’ wretched womb. (The writers have progressively dumbed him down and camped him up over the years.) He had a term of 'endearment' he created for it, referencing a famous prison. What was it?

Question 21

Which former US President has Stewie seen naked?

In the episode “Internal Affairs,” Joe cheats on Bonnie with one of his colleagues at the police station (although his disability renders him physically unable to have sex with her). This episode was a follow-up to “Foreign Affairs,” in which Bonnie went to Paris with Lois so that she could cheat on Joe. It’s not a perfect marriage. During “Internal Affairs,” Peter fights Ernie the Giant Chicken yet again and Stewie can be seen on the return pad from his time machine claiming to have seen which former US President naked?

Question 22

What porno was Stewie’s potential biological father featured in?

It’s possible that Peter is not Stewie’s biological father. In the episode “And I’m Joyce Kinney,” Lois has a porno she made when she was younger exposed by Diane Simmons’ replacement, leading her to be ostracized by the town. Lois later screens the porno in the church to win everybody back and let them know that she's not ashamed of it. The whole situation leads Stewie to worry that he might be “a porn baby.” His fears are later backed up by a pizza delivery guy who shows up in the movie who looks exactly like Stewie. Name that porno.

Question 23

What show did Stewie laugh hysterically at?

In the Family Guy episode “Brian Sings and Swings,” there’s a cutaway gag where Stewie is watching an episode of a TV show and laughs at it with ridiculous levels of hysteria. Funnily enough, as it was revealed in the DVD commentary for the episode, Stewie’s weird, uncharacteristic laugh in this joke is the first and only time Stewie was voiced by someone other than Seth MacFarlane. The voice was instead Family Guy writer Ricky Blitt. What show was Stewie watching?

Question 24

Who is Stewie an evil version of?

The characterization of Stewie has changed a lot over the fifteen seasons of Family Guy we’ve had so far (it’s been quietly renewed for a sixteenth recently by Fox), but he’s always pretty much been a fancy, upper-class, intelligent, diabolical Englishman in the body of a middle-class, American baby. Exactly how this is expressed has changed over the years, but he’s always been very fruity and he’s always been very evil. His creator, Seth MacFarlane, once summed this up when he described him as “an evil version” of which actor?

Question 25

What was the original name of “Stewie B. Goode?”

According to the DVD commentary, the story idea that would eventually become “Stewie B. Goode,” the first part of the movie “Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story,” was originally conceived way back in 2002, right before the show was canceled by Fox. The episode would see Stewie have a near death experience and his life change. When they brought it back to become “Stewie B. Goode,” the story was thought to be too long for a half-hour episode, so they changed it to be a movie instead. What was the episode originally called back in 2002?

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