Date Or Dump These 25 Celebs And We'll Tell You Which Hollywood Player You Are

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We're bringing you the joy of speed dating, minus the hassle of all that talking to women stuff and pretending to be interested in what their little brother does for a living and whatever lame hobbies they may have. Yes, it's time for speed dating, TheQuiz-style! We've gathered a collection of some sexy and some not-really-so-sexy ladies together and given you the enviable task of choosing which ones to date and which ones to dump.

How you judge which ladies to date or dump is up to you. You can base it on their looks (of course), the amount of money they make (wish I could find me a sugar mama so I didn't have to write quizzes for a living), or even whether they have a nice personality (haha, yeah right). When you've dated and dumped your way through our selection of women, you'll be rewarded with a random STD (they can be transmitted online now, blame Tinder) and the knowledge of which famous player your tastes are most closely aligned with. Just don't choose to date everyone or our servers explode trying to figure how to answer.

Now then, quit being a reader and start being a dater or dumper. At the end, you can return to being a reader, as we'll tell you which famous player you are (if you didn't blow up our servers). Enjoy.

Question 1

Would You Date or Dump Taylor Swift?

Swift is unstoppable on the music charts partly thanks to her many relationship successes and failures, which have fueled her songcraft. Relationships with Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Calvin Harris have given way to her current beau Joe Alwin. The ETA on that breakup is plus-or-minus 6 months (take the under).

Question 2

Would You Date or Dump Paris Hilton?

Hilton is almost more famous now for something other than being famous, and that's her incredible promiscuity. Hilton has had dozens of relationships over the years, beginning with the likes of Edward Furlong of Terminator 2 fame and advancing to the likes of River Viiperi and Chris Zylka of no-one-freaking-knows fame. A member of the ridic wealthy Hilton family of hotels fame, which was mentioned only to see if we could break the record for using fame/famous in one paragraph, so we could become famous too.

Question 3

Would You Date or Dump Jessica Biel?

Biel has been married to Justin Timberlake for nigh on 5 years now. Biel previously had relationships with #2, Derek Jeter, and Chris Evans. Biel is currently embroiled in a deliciously naughty scandal involving her restaurant Au Fudge, as she's been accused in a lawsuit of failing to pass event gratuities that were meant for servers into their rightful hands, amounting to as much as $430,000 in tips not being paid out.

Question 4

Would You Date or Dump Jennifer Aniston?

Aniston was famously ditched by Brad Pitt a dozen years ago for his Mr. and Mrs. Smith co-star Angelina Jolie, for which he recently apologized (better late than never...?). Aniston has been in several relationships since, culminating in her marriage to Justin Theroux two years ago. The 48-year-old still looks tremendous and is still one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, Pitt be damned.

Question 5

Would You Date or Dump Cameron Diaz?

Diaz has enjoyed the embraces of an eclectic group of men over the years, which has included baseball player and cheat Alex Rodriguez, Tesla and SpaceX founder Elon Musk, and actors Jude Law, Keanu Reeves, and Jared Leto, the latter of whom she was engaged to. She's currently married to a 38-year-old dude who likes to wear his baseball cap sideways (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Question 6

Would You Date or Dump Lindsay Lohan?

Lohan is a cautionary tale of the excesses of drinking, drugs, Hollywood, a pretty face, or all of the above. The former child star became the poster child for reckless behavior, as she flushed her once-promising movie career down the drain with partying, DUIs, and failed trips to rehab. During all that chaos she dated dozens of men, including Aaron Carter, Robbie Williams, and Wilmer Valderrama.

Question 7

Would You Date or Dump Minka Kelly?

The adorable Minka Kelly appears to be dating Jesse Williams, who's embroiled in a nasty custody battle with ex Aryn Drake-Lee, who claims their 2 children are suffering emotional trauma from seeing their daddy hook up with so many different women. Ouch. Of course, given that the children are 2 and 3 years old and likely suffering nothing of the sort, the claim comes off as petty at best, and not a good petty, like Tom, just a petty petty.

Question 8

Would You Date or Dump Blake Lively?

Lively's relationship history has been rather unlively (zing), at least compared to many of the other ladies featured on this quiz. She's been happily married to Ryan Reynolds for five years, with whom she has two kids (boring). The former Gossip Girl is currently working on a movie called A Simple Favor, about a blogger who tries to uncover the mystery of her friend's disappearance (boring).

Question 9

Would You Date or Dump Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Jennifer Love Hewitt has been married to actor Brian Hallisay, with whom she has two kids, for nearly 4 years. The couple hooked up after working together on The Client List. Prior to that Hewitt had numerous relationships, including ones with Enrique Iglesias and Carson Daly, and was engaged to Ross McCall. Hewitt's best known for her roles on Party of Five and I Know What You Did Last Summer.

Question 10

Would You Date or Dump Jessica Simpson?

Simpson is currently married to Eric Johnson. Her first marriage, to fellow singer Nick Lachey, was chronicled in the reality show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, during which she famously questioned whether the tuna she was eating was actually chicken because of confusion over the tuna's brand name. Simpson is currently working on a new album, which will be her first in 7 years.

Question 11

Would You Date or Dump Emilia Clarke?

Emilia Clarke is either really good at keeping relationships on the down-low, or she's serious about that tripe she's been spewing about wanting an old-fashioned kind of love and being too busy for relationships. The Game of Thrones star has apparently been single for over two years, since splitting with Terminator Genisys co-star Jai Courtney.

Question 12

Would You Date or Dump Amanda Seyfried?

Model and Mean Girls star Seyfried started dating Micah Alberti when she was just 16, before moving on to Emile Hirsch, Ryan Philippe, Josh Hartnett, and others. Seyfried is now married to Thomas Sadoski, with whom she has a baby and a basket of kittens (awww) saved from potential slaughter. Only a cruel, vile person could dump a woman who saved a bunch of kittens. Are you cruel and vile?

Question 13

Would You Date or Dump Rosario Dawson?

The sultry Dawson has been dating Eric Andre since mid-2016, her first boyfriend since she adopted a 12-year-old girl in 2014. That surely confirms that there's no better way to scare off men than to have a child, which philosophers have been needlessly debating since sandals were fashionable. Dawson herself was adopted at the age of 1, which lead to her admirable and bed-emptying act.

Question 14

Would You Date or Dump Vanessa Carlton?

Carlton's only been in three confirmed relationships since her career took off in 2002, which happens when you waste your time walking a thousand miles just to see every guy you have a crush on. She walked around after Stephan Jenkins for five years and has been married to John Joseph McCauley III for nearly four years. Thankfully, their first child was a girl, so they couldn't name it John McCauley IV and make it the unfortunate successor to an unbroken line of pretentiousness.

Question 15

Would You Date or Dump Naomi Campbell?

Supermodels generally get around, and Naomi Campbell is no exception. She's been involved with everyone from Mike Tyson and Eric Clapton to Usher and Terrence Howard. She's also been engaged twice, once to some dirty old Italian who was 20 years older than her and has somehow dated half the world's models, most even younger than Naomi. Oh wait, he has money, forget the somehow part. Dirty old men and gold digging models go together like peanut butter and chocolate.

Question 16

Would You Date or Dump Kirsten Dunst?

Dunst is currently engaged to Jesse Plemons, which only further confirms that he sold his soul to some nefarious demon of the underworld at some point around 2012. Sadly, her relationship to Spider-Man co-star Tobey Maguire didn't last, because they were way cuter together than Dunst and the soulless husk of Jesse Plemons' body.

Question 17

Would You Date or Dump Denise Richards?

There hasn't been much relationship news on the Denise Richards front since she separated from Nikki Sixx in 2010. The mother of 3 is apparently content to be single, which is a shame, as anyone who listened to her legendary interviews on Howard Stern can attest. During them, Richards freely talked about her sex life and her willingness to do just about anything to please her partner (cue the "date" votes).

Question 18

Would You Date or Dump Stephanie Seymour?

Model Stephanie Seymour has been married to wealthy industrialist Peter Brant for 22 years, which probably means they signed a prenup. Seymour had a much briefer marriage to Tommy Andrews (a whole year), as well as short couplings with Axl Rose and legendary lothario Warren Beatty. She has 7 children, 6 with Brant.

Question 19

Would You Date or Dump Brandi Glanville?

Model Brandi Glanville is rumored to have gone through two of Friends' leading men, David Schwimmer and Matt Leblanc; she was unable to complete the trifecta by hooking up with Matthew Perry. She settled instead for Ben Stiller, who could probably pass for Perry in the right light. She appears to now be dating 25-year-old Celebrity Big Brother co-star Jordan Davies, who's two decades her junior. Mrroowwww!

Question 20

Would You Date or Dump Sienna Miller?

Sienna Miller was rumored to have landed one of the biggest bachelor prizes in Hollywood, Brad Pitt, earlier this summer, before reportedly calling it quits with him shortly after. Of course, one does not simply break up with Brad Pitt, oh no. There is a special place reserved in the darkest pit of Hell for those who do. Hope you enjoy spending eternity with Jesse Plemons.

Question 21

Would You Date or Dump Winona Ryder?

When Winona Ryder's not busy shoplifting, she's been busy stealing the hearts of various men, including current love Scott Mackinlay Hahn. The couple have been together since 2011, though they're likely never to marry, as Ryder appears to have a bit of a phobia about being one of those people; those people being divorcees. Ryder previously had lengthy relationships with Matt Damon and Johnny Depp.

Question 22

Would You Date or Dump Kate Moss?

Model Kate Moss has been a busy girl on the dating scene. She's been married, she's dated dozens of guys, and she's had dozens of other rumored relationships or trysts. It's not surprising that everyone from Johnny Depp to Russell Brand to Daniel Craig have pursued her, as she's smoking hot to this day, even at the ripe old age of 43.

Question 23

Would You Date or Dump Robin Wright?

Wright's been married twice, including an 18-year marriage to Sean Penn that ended in 2009. She dated Ben Foster, 15 years her junior, for a few years and was engaged to him before the relationship ended in 2015. Wright currently stars alongside Kevin Spacey on the hit Netflix show House of Cards. She was recently applauded and criticized equally for demanding equal pay with her male co-star, despite Spacey also being a producer on the show and the bigger draw. Yeah Kevin, I got your back bro.

Question 24

Would You Date or Dump Lana Del Rey?

Del Rey recently dated G-Eazy, which ended in an awkward split, as the rapper dumped her for Halsey. Not only that, the vocals he had intended for Lana to sing on the song Now or Never, were also given to Halsey. Salt, meet wound. The song was released in the middle of September.

Question 25

Would You Date or Dump Kelly Preston?

The 54-year-old Preston still looks good, but has some additional baggage aside from her age: she's a Scientologist. Yep, Preston and hubby John Travolta, whom she's been married to since 1991, are both members of the Church of Strange. Some of that strangeness was on display when she gave birth to the couple's son Benjamin in 2010, during a "silent birth", where no one is allowed to speak unless vitally necessary, which is one of the Church's practices. Someone should've yelled: "You're a Scientologist, what on earth is wrong with you!!!" Totally needed to be said. Preston and Travolta are currently working together on Gotti.

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