Can You Name These NHL Goalies Of The 00s?
- by Jacob Ormrod
- – on
- in Sports
It seems to us, whether we like it or not, there will always be some positions that we never take as seriously as others, one of those positions being the goalie. We're not sure why this is, but we know that it's something that we want to rectify as soon as possible.
Sure, the goalie might not provide too much action when compared to some of the other players, but that doesn't mean they aren't an integral part of the team that makes sure the rest of the players can keep their eye on the prize while they look after the goal. This isn't truer in any sport more than it is in hockey, where the goalie is the last, if not only line, of defense between victory and defeat. You might need to score to make sure you win, but you've got to keep the other team from scoring as well.
So, in the hope of spreading some love for the goalies out there, we decided we'd put together a quiz about who they are in hockey. Remember, we're looking purely at Ice Hockey here and we're looking for goalies from the 2000s. Even if you think of yourself as a huge hockey fan, we bet you won't be able to get 100% on this one!
Which Goalie Is This?
If you're anything like us, you might be surprised to find out that professional hockey pucks are made out of vulcanized rubber, whereas we thought they always looked like they were made out of something harder. It makes sense that they wouldn't want to have the players smashing something harder around the rink, especially when it's the goalie's job to stop the puck anyway they can with whatever part of their body is closest. We can only imagine how much that hurts.
Which Goalie Is This?
One thing we've always liked about sports and their audiences is their ability to come up with great nicknames for the people playing, either that or making up chants that in some way incorporate the athlete's actual name. Sure, this can go a bit sour sometimes, especially when the fans decide to be terrible sports about the whole thing, but we like to think that most people into sports aren't really like this and it's just the select few who engage in it.
Which Goalie Is This?
It takes some serious bravery in our eyes to put on all of this gear and throw yourself into a rink with a bunch of men who want to smash you up against walls if they can. That sort of thing really makes us take a step back from wanting to be involved if we want. That's why we've never gone in for boxing or any other form of contact sport. We would rather keep ourselves as intact as physically possible.
Which Goalie Is This?
You can see by the sweat on this man's face that hockey clearly takes a lot out of the human body and this is something you can say is true for all sports. If you're going to play sports professionally and make a lot of money from it, you've got to really push your body to its limits. For some, this is where the enjoyment comes from. They look at sports as a solo endeavor, rather than a team thing.
Which Goalie Is This?
Having never been to Canada, we've never known how true it is that they love Hockey and all play it as much as possible. Seriously, we've met people from Canada and they seem to think that it's just not that big a deal in the way people say it is. Apparently, curling is the game that everybody goes insane for, which we really can't understand.
Which Goalie Is This?
We know nothing about this guy, but just based on this image, we can already tell that we would hate him. How are we supposed to cheer on a team of human beings when we know that most of them are exactly the sort of people that we think are making this world a worse place to live? We just can't shut that part of our brain off when we're looking at the sort of sports that we want to watch for entertainment.
Which Goalie Is This?
See, looking at this image we feel a little bit bad for what we said before about awarding anybody in this world for their passion. Looking at the smile on this guy's face, we know that there has to be some feeling within this guy that is worth giving him the opportunity to win something. However, we still stand by what we said. We think it's time that everyone on this planet did what they wanted because they were passionate, not because of awards.
Which Goalie Is This?
We hope that if this guy ever finds this quiz that he doesn't take this the wrong way, but while the other guy was somebody we could never get on board with, this is the sort of hockey player that would get us interested in watching. He just looks like such a normal guy, somebody who could walk past you in the street. He doesn't look like he has let money and fame go to his head, even if it has.
Which Goalie Is This?
We know that this clearly takes quite a lot of dexterity and there's pretty much no chance that we'll be able to do anything close to this within our lifetime, but the image still made us laugh out loud when we first saw it. In fact, it continues to make us laugh. How could anybody look at this picture and not think it looks silly? Even people who consider hockey to be the noblest sport in the universe can't defend this.
Which Goalie Is This?
We know that we're throwing you some images in which the goalies have their masks on, but we think that this will really separate the men from the boys on this one. We want to make sure that the people out there who consider themselves true hockey fans are able to prove it at a moment's notice. Seriously, if you manage to get all of these, you can definitely call yourself a real fan. Anybody would be impressed by that.
Which Goalie Is This?
We're not sure if this guy always squints like this, but if he does, then you've got another little hint to help you figure out what goalie is hiding behind that mask. If it's not something he does all the time, then you got a free laugh at a guy whose body is clearly cracking under the pressure that comes with being a professional athlete engaging in a sport that essentially requires you to break a bone at some point in your career.
Which Goalie Is This?
Does anybody taking this quiz understand why we don't like the modern obsession with awards, cups, and medals being the thing that kept some people going back to tedium that they didn't actually enjoy during their youth? Awards seem so pointless to us, something that we know only bothers us, but they don't seem to serve much purpose in any walk of life other than to give people an inflated sense of importance. We think this should be stamped out of the world.
Which Goalie Is This?
Could somebody enlighten us on how it is that people end up becoming goalies if nobody wants to be in that position when they're a child? There must be something that throws them into this position and we know that it isn't glory, so what is it exactly? Does a coach have to take them to one side and explain that, while they may not enjoy it now, they'll come to learn that being in goal is the best place they can be for the team?
Which Goalie Is This?
Another bear of a dad here, and one that is also smiling with every tooth in his mouth. Why is that? Maybe with hockey being so violent, a lot of these men are actually incredibly calm once they get off the ice. They use their time while they play getting all of their aggression out, letting every bit of tension that was within their body drain away from them while they put their all into what they need to do.
Which Goalie Is This?
Does anybody know if there are statistics showing that using all of this protective gear ends up being a bad thing for the health of the hockey players? We know that this can be true of boxers and football players, but how about hockey players? These guys can really try and hurt each other sometimes so we know why they use this stuff. It definitely makes sense, we just wonder if there's a chance people would hit less if they had less protection.
Which Goalie Is This?
One of the crazy things that has happened over the past few decades is that athletes are becoming celebrities in their own right, ending up with various deals on the side and press appearances which help supplement their already huge wage. This is insane when you think about it, as these athletes are only interesting to watch in motion, so why would people want them just hanging around? We'll never understand this sort of idolizing of other human beings no matter how hard we try.
Which Goalie Is This?
Why is it that hockey players sometimes look like great dads? Is that a weird observation? It sort of seems like every other sport has these huge brutes, while hockey players look like friendly giants rather than intimidating monsters. If we saw this man heading towards us with his hulking frame and broad smile, we'd be opening ourselves up for a hug rather than running in the opposite direction, but then that might just be something that we think about...
Which Goalie Is This?
Now that we've been writing about it for so long, we kind of feel like we should've done something in our youth to get us into sports, or that our parents should've tried to force us into a sport. Not only would it provide us with entertainment into our old age, we'd also be able to take part in it ourselves. Maybe if we had been pressured, we could be the one on the ice stopping the puck from entering the goal.
Which Goalie Is This?
It's crazy to think there was a time when sports were so heavily policed by segregation and dividing lines. Now, we live in a time where sports teams will purposely buy or discover and then fly in the best players from all over the world. It is literally somebody's job to scout out players in different areas of the world so that their team can have a head start in the next season. This is crazy when you really think about it.
Which Goalie Is This?
Having a look at a lot of these images, we never realized that still images of hockey goalies looked so funny as if they're pulling some of the craziest dance moves that have ever been attempted by man. In our heads, this image is accompanied by a lot of rave or disco music, and the guy in the goal is pulling off some amazing stuff that you'd usually only see in a movie or at some sort of experimental club.
Which Goalie Is This?
Either that, or they look like they're mid-jump, unable to get onto their feet because they've had to go from their knees, which we suppose some of them are, but they still look like insane cartoon stereotypes. This guy looks like the whole cartoons leave in doors when they run through them, know what we mean? If you don't go look that up on Google and you will see exactly what we're getting at. We can't believe we didn't see it until now.
Which Goalie Is This?
Mate, some of these guys are insanely attractive and have got some great style about them as well. Who knew that God was handing out positive attributes to individuals rather than spreading it out among people in packs. It is unfair that a man this stereotypically attractive is also good enough at a sport to play it professionally. This man is never allowed to complain about anything in his life. Seriously, he has had everything handed to him at this point.
Which Goalie Is This?
Do you think that goalies end up with bad knees when they get older? They seem to spend so much time either blocking fast moving objects with their legs or crouching down on their knees to keep their tiny goal safe. That's actually something we're going to look up after this. See, we take sports and make them nerdy, which actually ruins them for all of the jocks out there as well so it works in our favor on so many levels...
Which Goalie Is This?
When you actually take a look at the goal in hockey, it's insane how much smaller it is than in every single other sport. Why did they decide on something so small that a human being can so easily block it? It's almost as if they knew the biggest problem would be human beings not wanting to have their body bruised by a solid object flying towards them. Whoever invented hockey was a sadistic human being and we're glad we'll never meet them.
Which Goalie Is This?
Whenever we see images like this, of athletes taking a drink while they're playing, we always think it's a little unfair that somebody snapped them while they were looking like this. They're taking part in something that is insanely difficult, pushing their bodies to the edge of what they can manage and we're laughing at them because they look a little goofy while they try to refill their body with what they've lost throughout the match. Just a little bit unfair.