Whether we like it or not, we as a species have a soft spot for the eccentric and for people with larger than life personalities. While you may need some form of skill to get in on the ground floor and get yourself noticed, if you can prove that you're charismatic enough, then the world is your oyster. This is truer now more than ever, with the advent of television and celebrity culture showing that people like Gordon Ramsay can make a fortune by simply being able to swear in an entertaining way.
We're not trying to imply that this guy doesn't have skills in the kitchen or that he isn't a fantastic businessman, but the only reason any of us know this man is because of how he acts while a camera is pointed at him. If anything, his ability as a businessman that he built with his restaurants has helped him play the showbiz game and become the very rich man he is today.
All this being said, we'd be lying if weren't huge fans of some of the things he comes out with. Not only does he have a handle on swearing, he can also absolutely devastate people with a single sentence. Think you know Gordon Ramsay better than anyone? Now is the time to prove it!
I wouldn't trust you to run a bath, let alone a restaurant.
This is the sort of thing we're always on the look out for when we're watching Gordon Ramsay. This one is simple yet effective, like all of the best insults. The guy hasn't had to absolutely smash the poor chef over the head, just gently remind them how incompetent he thinks they are through a basic metaphor. If you can come up with this sort of gold off the top of your head, then there's no reason you shouldn't be on television.
My Gran could do better, and she's dead!
Gordon Ramsay is a lot of things, but something you could never accuse him of being is fragile. For whatever reason, pretty much all chefs in this world seem to have severe anger problems, which will often carry into their non-professional life as well. This means that Ramsay isn't above using a tragedy in his own life to bring down other people. Sure, his gran may be dead, but you are one of the worst cooks he has ever seen.
I wish you'd jump in the oven!
At first, we were going to say that this one is more of a mild jibe from Gordon, but then we realized that he is actually asking someone to go kill themselves, which we suppose isn't that mild at all. Sure, he isn't saying it directly, but what does he think would happen when the guy gets into the oven he wishes they'd jump in? Obviously, he doesn't really mean it, but that doesn't mean the insult is mild at all!
This lamb is so raw it's still baaing.
This sort of thing is one of Gordon Ramsay's favorites. He makes a reference to the type of animal that the food has come from when the food is undercooked. These, alongside his love of the pun and wordplay in general, are exactly why we love Gordon Ramsay quotes. That being said, it doesn't half put you off your food to hear a man constantly tell you that your food was once alive, but then that might just be us.
This lobster is going to give me PTSD.
This one may be a little bit offensive to some. Being this flippant about the concept of mental health when all you're doing is tasting food may make some people realize that what they're watching is of no real consequence and people like Gordon Ramsay shouldn't be given a platform to say this sort of thing. However, isn't that a tightrope that all celebrities walk when they've made their fortune from being as close to the bone as physically possible?
I'd rather eat the inside of my own underwear.
Isn't it funny how the simplest sentence can actually make us cringe more than the most graphic sentence? For whatever reason, even though he's not swearing or really getting into why he hates someone here, this quote really gets us right in the stomach. Why is that? He could be going into the most graphic detail about something and it wouldn't affect us in the same way that this quote does. Maybe we just imagine that Ramsay has gross underwear.
It's probably time you got out the kitchen!
Gordon Ramsay doesn't like to mince words, which means that he isn't afraid to tell you exactly how he's feeling. This goes double for when he's in the kitchen. If you watch an episode of his show where he's cooking in a kitchen with people he doesn't like, you can see the stress inside his head build until he just explodes and kicks them out of the kitchen. He seems despairing, but we imagine he's happy to have them gone.
I'm not here to babysit you!
One thing that we can't stand is people that come up with any excuse not to do their job properly, something that Gordon also seems to struggle with. Honestly, we actually can't blame him for this one. While we may not agree with his brutal methods when it comes to other forms of incompetence, this one is a real pet peeve of ours as well, so we say tell it like it is Gordon. if you don't, nobody else will.
Chimichanga? Chimi chuck it in the bin.
Here's that good old wordplay that we were talking about earlier! Say what you want about the guy, but he is able to come up with some great little bits of stuff like this. Not only does it put the chef down, it also makes the audience laugh, which is a perfect mix of what this guy has to offer if you ask us. This might not be his all time greatest quote, but we'd be lying if we didn't say it was definitely up there.
This jacket potato tastes like feet.
Okay, so this certainly isn't one of his best, but then everyone can't always be on fire, you know? We need to give people some time to recover from the absolute smackdown that they just laid down on some poor chef. That being said, it's good to have a basic one thrown out there from time to time. If he tried to always be over the top with his insults, it'd get to the point where they felt stale and forced.
Hey, panini head, are you listening to me?
So, we're not sure where this particular quote comes from, so something still confuses us about it. Is he saying it to someone who has hair that makes him look like a panini, was the guy unable to make a panini, or is Gordon Ramsay merely picking a random food off the top of his head to insult someone with because he's a chef? Seriously, we want to know what set of circumstances lead to this absolute banger of an insult.
You look like you're just about to lose your virginity.
What does this one even mean? Does it mean that the guy looks inexperienced or nervous? Either way, we're not sure this one flies as well as the other insults. We've decided to keep this one on the list as a warning to anybody who thinks that they're incapable of failure. You aren't. If even the great Gordon Ramsay can end up putting this sort of stuff out into the world, you can certainly end up dropping a proper clanger as well.
Calm down! It's a kitchen, not a war!
Does anybody else think it's insane that Gordon Ramsay is telling anyone else to calm down? He is literally the man who has made it cool to get as riled up as physically possible while a camera is pointed at you. It's because of him that reality television shows around the world feel they need their Ramsay character to get people tuning in, somebody who will absolutely rip into everyone else. You know the type, the one the audience loves to hate.
It's like being in Danny DeVito's house.
Look, Mr. Ramsay, we've stood by you through a lot, and will continue to stand by you as well, but you better make sure that you don't go about saying anything about Mr. DeVito. That man is a treasure. Not only has he proven himself an accomplished actor and director, he's also on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, a better television show than anything you've ever done! Sorry... Got a little bit heated there. Just heed our warning Gordon Ramsay!
Get away from me you donkey head.
Sometimes when we're angry, we come out with some absolutely terrible insults, which is what has happened to Gordon here. Seriously, have you ever said something in the middle of an argument with a loved one, only for you both to burst into laughter and end the argument there? We honestly can't imagine being able to keep a straight face if Gordon Ramsay looked us in the face and referred to us as a donkey head, which would likely make him angrier.
Escargot away from my table.
Do you see how well this man can marry food with insults? Seriously, this guy has a gift. Back in the day, he would've been considered some sort of word witch. He would've been raking it in coming up with insults for Shakespeare's plays or something. You know exactly what I'm talking about, the sort of insults you didn't really understand when you were forced to study them in English class because they sounded so ridiculously out of date for modern times.
For what we are about to eat, may the lord make us truly not vomit.
While you may be British, you've got to be careful saying this sort of stuff in the states mate. They go crazy for the lord over there and if you're perceived to be insulting their god, they are not going to be very happy about it! You can make these sorts of comments if you're still in the UK, but otherwise, you'll be struggling. Honestly, I'm surprised that Ramsay has never been in trouble with the religious in America the way he goes about things.
Sure, it's a simple one, but we all have to admit that it's effective as well. If you ever want to come up with something catchy that will stick in somebody's mind, all you have to do is get it to rhyme. Then, even once the insult has left your mind, it will continue to ring in their ears for days to come. That is some really deep psychological stuff that can mess with people's minds, and Gordon Ramsay knows it.
Long live the power of women.
It's nice to see someone in the public eye put out a message like this, whether or not it was meant in jest. Despite what some people will tell you, we still don't have true equality anywhere in this world, and it's time that people started to recognize that because it certainly won't get better on its own. All you have to do is take a look at how the internet reacted to Dr. Who to see that there's something wrong here...
Forecast for tomorrow? 100% chance of tears.
This one doesn't really work for us. It makes the guy sound like a villain on a bad children's television show. You can just imagine him saying it while sitting upon a throne made of skulls before cackling loudly and having his men take the heroes away. To be fair, Gordon Ramsay's leathery face would actually work pretty well as a cartoonish villain. Maybe this is something he should do once he's finished with all of the cooking stuff he's got going on.
Chow Mein? I won't be chowing this.
Having spent a hell of a long time in America, it would seem that Gordon is picking up some of the slang from there as well. Believe it or not but chowing down is not a commonly used phrase in the UK, so it's weird to see it come out of his mouth. He also regularly uses the word gnarly on his television shows, which is certainly an Americanism. He's also nowhere near young enough to be using a word like that either.
I hope you fail.
Wow. Does anyone else think this one might be going just a little bit too far? We think even Gordon would have to admit that he regrets this one later down the line. It's one thing to point out someone's flaws and potentially help them with those, but it's entirely another thing to wish failure upon another human being. We might all think it from time to time, but to go onto television and actually say it makes you a bad person.
Go and sit in the fridge you idiot.
This one is surprisingly derivative of his oven comment earlier in the quiz. It just goes to show that when you're pumping out so much gold, you're going to end up having to work off old successes to make sure that you're keeping things fresh. Still, it's a shame to have to see a genius debase himself like this just to keep the fans happy if you ask us. He shouldn't be putting anything out there that isn't his absolute best.
Some can handle it, and some can't. I'm not interested in the ones who can't.
This is Ramsay getting right down to why it is that he treats people how he does. Personally, we have a lot more sympathy for people, but that doesn't change the fact that a lot of people think and feel the same way as this man. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. It's a phrase that Ramsay seems to take literally, which means he has been successful and is taken very seriously in this world. Perhaps he's right...
I could get better vegetables from my mum's back garden!
Believe it or not, but Gordon Ramsay is a big believer in cultivating your own crops and animals before you cook them, thinking that all chefs should know exactly what goes into the food they then cook. It's not just their job to be at the end of the process. They've got to try and be involved throughout the entire thing. It seems that this might be a mentality that was passed onto his mother if this quote is to be believed.