Can You Finish These Quotes From The Office?
- by Lucas Wesley
- – on
- in Movies and TV
No matter how long its been since fans of The Office have heard Michael Scott speak, they’ll never forget the hilarious things he said. The same is true for Dwight Schrute, Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly, and all of the many characters who supported their journey over the nine years they were on the air—especially Creed Bratton. More so than most shows on TV, the Dunder Mifflin faithful have long obsessed over their favorite quotes and scenes, able to recite them with fellow super fans whenever the conversation deems it appropriate. Sometimes, all it takes is a lull in the conversation, or a poorly chosen sentence, and a person might drop a little Michael Scott knowledge to liven the party like only he can.
Of course, with the amount of content The Office produced, it’s pretty hard for any one person to actually remember every single sentence spoken on the show. Not even Steve Carell or Rainn Wilson still know their lines, as it would take some serious studying to do so. Then again, since that “studying” could just as well be accomplished by a couple weekends worth of binge watching on Netflix, so plenty of people with the spare time have been happy to do the research. If you want to prove that’s you, keep reading to test your Dunder Mifflin knowledge and see if you can complete these quotes from The Office.
Michael Scott: “That’s what _____ said.”
All right, let’s start with an easy one. We’re giving credit to Michael for what could arguably considered the entire show’s catchphrase, but true fans are well aware almost everyone he met also picked up on his favorite joke at least once or twice. The set-up didn’t really matter—it just had to be sexual in the vaguest way possible. Sometimes, when Michael was the one saying it, that wasn’t even much of a concern, as it just had to break the tension and help people relax.
Pam Beesly: “I don’t think it’s many little girls’ dream to be a _____.”
Poor, poor Pam Beesly. Before she and Jim finally admitted their mutual feelings, the woman’s life was pretty terrible. Not only was she in a loveless and depressing relationship with her fiancé Roy, but she also hated her job. Granted, that second condition was a familiar one in Dunder Mifflin, yet Pam nonetheless had a good point when she pointed out her job specifically was hardly the sort of thing people dream about. Then again, her fairytale romance with Jim gave it a happy ending, so it’s not exactly a nightmare, either.
Jim Halpert: “My job is to speak to clients on the phone about quantities and type of copier paper. Y’know. Whether we can supply it to them, whether they can pay for it, and…I’m _____ myself just talking about this.”
Well, for as bad as Pam has it introducing people to Michael Scott’s world, no one else living in it has things that much better. This becomes apparent from the very beginning, when Jim offers the above monologue to explain his job to the documentarians. Of course, so uninteresting is Jim’s life that he can barely get halfway through the thing before stopping himself short and giving up. It was a bold move, as The Office was basically telling fans the premise of their show was lame, but somehow things worked out just fine.
Dwight Schrute: “He put my stuff in _____ again!”
Perhaps more memorable than anything Dwight Schrute ever said or did himself were his epic reactions to the way Jim Halpert messed with him. For the most part, Jim’s pranks were master classes in visual humor, and it would be hard to have fans fill in the blanks on what he did. That said, the very first prank Jim pulled was absolutely unforgettable, and Dwight perfectly summed up why with his one sentence explanation of his complaint. Naturally, Jim totally denied involvement, despite all signs pointing to him as the culprit.
Michael Scott: “As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had _____.”
Okay, so Michael Scott isn’t the best Regional Manager a local paper company could possibly have. However, it could be much, much worse. Imagine the potential for disaster if Michael had somehow entered a more serious profession, like being a doctor. All one needs to know how badly that would go is this quote, which Michael uttered when explaining why he didn’t want to tell his staff about the potential for upcoming downsizing. Obviously, they eventually found out anyway, and they were about as happy as a patient who found out they were intentionally misdiagnosed.
Kevin Malone: “In high school, my nickname was _____ Man.”
Forget about how everyone in Dunder Mifflin has it bad by nature of where they work. No one there is happy, but Kevin Malone truly has it the worst, completely lacking the ability to ever be taken seriously by, well, anyone he ever meets. This is hardly a new trend in the guy’s life, as it turns out he’s been mocked and abused since high school, if not earlier. Case in point, his nickname, chosen for his resemblance to a certain pop culture mascot.
Michael Scott: “I want people to be afraid of how much they _____ me.”
By the time Michael Scott left Dunder Mifflin, he had basically everything he ever wanted. His employees finally respected him, and he had found the love of his life in Holly Flax. However, it could be argued he never quite achieved the lofty goal he stated early in the show, largely because the situation he describes is borderline impossible. Questioned with the eternal question of what kind of boss he wants people to view him as, he lets out this confusing gem that truly defines his management style.
Dwight Schrute: “I don’t believe you. _____.”
Just about everything Dwight K. Schrute has ever said is a bit of a mystery. No one will ever understand how the man’s mind works, as he defines the old Kris Kristofferson line about being a “mystery wrapped in a riddle.” Case in point, this emblematic phrase he uses at the onset of one of Jim’s many pranks. It begins when Jim tells Dwight he’s a master at the roulette table because of his telekinetic powers. Dwight doesn’t believe him, but he needs to know more, falling for Jim’s jokes yet again.
Bob Vance: “Bob Vance, Vance _____.”
Like many shows that last nine whole seasons, there are many side characters on The Office that it can be easy to forget exactly what it is they all do. Not so for Bob Vance, who eventually becomes Phyllis Lapin’s husband after an intense whirlwind relationship. Well before they tied the knot, though, Bob Vance repeatedly introduced himself to every single person his bride to be worked with, followed by telling each one of them the name of a business he owns and operates. After the wedding, Phyllis proudly adopts the catchphrase, always telling people where her husband works.
Prison Mike: “The worst thing about prison was the _____!”
The hardest thing about improv comedy is picking a subject the performer actually knows something about, so they have knowledge to base their characters on. Unfortunately, despite all the Whose Line Is It Anyway? he’s seen, Michael Scott isn’t all that great at the genre, and no one character better exemplifies this than Prison Mike. After initially taking the joke way too far by nearly threatening Ryan with making him “the belle of the ball,” he reveals just how little it is he knows about incarceration when revealing what he believes “the worst thing about” it is.
Dwight Schrute: “I don’t have a lot of experience with _____, but I have hunted werewolves.”
Dwight K. Schrute hardly lets reality get in the way of his areas of expertise. No story makes this clearer than the time he shot a werewolf on a moonlit night, only for the wild beast to revert into his neighbor’s dog by the time he could check it out. Despite this, Dwight doesn’t quite know everything there is to know about the supernatural, a fact he sadly comes face to face with when another animal gets loose in the office. Not only does Jim use this to prank him, but the ordeal inadvertently leads to Meredith getting rabies.
Jim Halpert: “Bears. _____. Battlestar Galactica.”
To tell the truth, we’re not sure whether to call this a Jim quote or a Dwight joke. Technically speaking, it’s Jim, but the words are simply used as the capper for the single greatest Dwight cosplay the world will ever see. Collectively, the ensemble cost Jim less than $20, which led to one of his most unforgettable catchphrases when mocking his rival and friend. Later in the episode, Dwight tries to return the favor with an impression of Jim, but his attempts at flirting with Karen made things way more awkward than funny.
Darryl Philbin: “Dinkin’ _____.”
It’s hard to blame Darryl Philbin for treating his job, and especially his boss, like a total joke. Even when Mike does stuff that makes Darryl almost sorta like the guy, he’s such a clueless goofball that it’s hard not to mess with him a little bit. Never is this practice more destructive than right before Michael attempts getting a raise, and Darryl teaches him a few “black man phrases” so he’ll sound cool. The most important one is “bippity boppity, gimme the zoppity,” which Mike plans to use specifically to boost his paycheck, but the others were equally unforgettable.
Creed Bratton: “_____’s the office bitch. You’ll get used to her.”
Everyone working for Dunder Mifflin is a little bit, well, off, but none of them are quite as absolutely insane as senior staff member Creed Bratton. Back in the 1960s, Creed was a member of pop music’s Grass Roots, and through this association, the hippie movement pretty much friend his brain into nothingness. Nowadays, Creed can’t even tell his co-workers apart, and he doesn’t even know the names of the ones he does recognize. In one instance, he makes both mistakes at once, introducing himself to Meredith after explaining a non-existent person’s attitude.
Dwight Schrute: “Before I do anything, I ask myself, ‘Would an _____ do that?’ and if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.”
From season one onward, Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute have one of the most complicated relationships on television. It’s clear Dwight absolutely adores his boss, basically begging for the opportunity to be his real number two. Michael never quite gives him the honor, but he does at least humor Dwight a little bit and give the guy some advice on his career now and again. One of his best lessons was that Dwight should never be a certain thing, which he later turns into this life credo.
Kelly Kapoor: “I don’t talk trash. I talk _____. They’re totally different.”
In the words of Kelly Kapoor, “trash talk is all hypothetical like your mama’s so fat, she could eat the Internet.” It’s also, well, trashy, which is a bit uncouth for a dignified lady like her. That said, when her boyfriend gets into a ping pong rivalry with Pam’s boyfriend, it’s on like Donkey Kong. Instead of acting like trash, Kelly relies on a different style of boast which she explains is based on things, “happening, like, right now.” For example, “You’re ugly and I know it for a fact ‘cause I got the evidence right here.”
Meredith Palmer: “In five years, I’d like to be five years _____.”
Everybody has different goals in life. For most employees of Dunder Mifflin, all they want is to make enough money that they won’t ever have to work for Dunder Mifflin again. Others aren’t so lofty, simply hoping to make the best of what they can, making small improvements to their lives in realistic fashion. One of the most accepting employees in the office, Meredith Palmer really doesn’t care what she’s doing in a couple years so long as she meets this theoretically simple goal. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like she’ll do it.
Pam Beesly: “You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The _____ are like a car wreck that you want to look away from, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.”
Of all the parties Michael Scott forces his employees to endure, the most memorable is certainly the annual award ceremony where he thanks them for their unique qualities. Sometimes, it’s genuinely heartwarming, like when he calls Jim Halpert the Best Dad or gives Stanley the Fine Work Award. Other times it’s creepy, offensive, or both, like when he calls Ryan the Hottest Guy in the Office, or acknowledges Kevin’s ability to stink up a bathroom. Throughout it all, Pam’s quote best sums up what it is that makes the event so fascinating, whether they like it or not.
Creed Bratton: When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only _____ to go.”
Certain things about Creed Bratton are probably better left to the imagination. We don’t want to know how the guy lost a couple toes, nor what led to him becoming slightly homeless and living in Dunder Mifflin. Another mystery best left up in the air is why exactly he needs far more chairs than the average human, but the way he talks about the idea, it’s clear it means a whole lot to him. The fantasy nearly comes true when Michael purchases a new seat and musical chairs lands the old one in Creed’s lap.
Dwight Schrute: “There are too many people on this Earth. We need a new _____.”
For as much as the people around Dwight can’t stand him, the office oddball returns the favor by throwing the same shade at virtually all of humanity. Sure, Dwight likes a few of his paintball buddies, and a couple of the women in the office are okay to be around once in a while. By and large, though, he thinks there are way too many people, such to the extent he wouldn’t be opposed to millions of humans disappearing all at once.
Jim Halpert: “Lord, beer me _____.”
While it’s Jim who used the phrase best, the Dunder Mifflin “beer me” phenomenon actually begins with the “Nard Dog” himself, Andy Bernard. One day the two are en route to a meeting with a client when Andy asks Jim to “beer” him a CD, with the explanation he always asks people to give him things in that way because it gets a laugh, like, a quarter of the time. The research actually checks out, as it’s never quite funny when Andy says it, but Jim’s one shot actually gets a huge laugh.
Kevin Malone: “I just want to lie on the beach and eat _____. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Just about everyone would be head over heels at the news their employer was taking them on a companywide field trip to the beach. Of course, everyone also has their own way to enjoy such an opportunity. Some might sunbathe, others would toss around a beach ball, and Michael Scott might even come up with a bizarre tournament to decide his replacement. However, Kevin Malone has a much simpler goal, which one of Michael’s games coincidentally allows him to do. Unfortunately, the others games prevent him from enjoying it to the fullest extent possible.
Dwight Schrute: “_____ alone moves the wheels of history!”
Technically speaking, this next quote isn’t from The Office at all, but rather the pages of an average high school history textbook. Luckily for Jim, Dwight doesn’t know this, which is how he’s able to pepper it in to a speech he writes for Dunder Mifflin’s “Salesman of the Year.” Turns out that for all Dwight’s confidence, he’s not the best public speaker, and just takes Jim’s words at face value as he shouts them to a shockingly receptive crowd. Except Michael, that is, as he’s so sour about Dwight getting all the attention he sulks in the bar.
Michael Scott: “Well, happy birthday, _____. Sorry your party’s so lame.”
Despite the best efforts of Dunder Mifflin Scranton’s tireless Party Planning Committee, almost none of Michael Scott’s parties go quite as planned. Try as they might to make everyone’s birthday, promotion, or other type of celebration feel special and unique to their own desires, not everyone gets the party they deserve. In one case, things vastly spiral out of control when Michael spends way too much money on a gift and makes everyone else in the office, in his words, freak out. For what it’s worth, the party guest probably would have forgiven him.
Michael Scott: “I am _____. Always.”
One of the greater difficulties Michael Scott suffers in life is an inability to understand metaphors. This happens on several occasions, first when Oscar tries to explain the concept of a surplus “like he was a five year old,” leaving Michael more concerned about his sixth birthday than the actual information at hand. Another instance happens when Andy tries using the movie Obsessed to explain that Michael is being a jerk in his current love triangle with a married woman. Unable to hear the actual point, Michael is just mad he was called Ali Larter instead of the star.
Andy Bernard: “Sorry I annoyed you with my _____.”
Like so many other people in Dunder Mifflin, Andy Bernard has trouble adapting to Michael Scott’s management style when he joins the fold. Uniquely, however, Andy decides to absolutely murder Michael with kindness to somehow win his favor no matter how strange the man may be. Initially, Michael loves being sucked up to, until he realizes it’s mere sycophancy and not actual love or admiration. Refusing to acknowledge his ruse when Michael calls him out, Andy gives a backhanded apology for daring try and be nice.
Dwight Schrute: “I’m like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like _____. You try and hurt _____, you’re gonna get a bullet in the head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.”
In the same way Michael Scott doesn’t understand metaphors, Dwight Schrute has no idea how to write them. Case in point, this bizarre monologue about how he’ll always protect his beloved boss no matter what the situation. Beneath the mixed references and absurd situation, Dwight is trying to say that anyone who messes with Michael messes with him. For whatever reason, though, he does this by combining two historical figures that have absolutely nothing to do with one another, leading to a statement that makes no sense.
Creed Bratton: “The Taliban is the worst. Great ____, though.”
Pay close enough attention to The Office, and you’ll find a good deal of moments where Creed Bratton does things that could easily be called questionable, if not outright immoral. That said, even the completely heartless former guitarist knows there are limits to who he can and can’t trust. Granted, just because he recognizes certain organizations are extremely bad dudes, this won’t stop him from doing business with them if the prices are right. It doesn’t even matter what the product is, as Creed’s lack of moral fiber means he’s always looking for any sort of deal.
Michael Scott: “If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with _____, bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”
Some facts about Dunder Mifflin are extremely simple, and most likely will never change. For one thing, Michael Scott despises his original HR representative, Toby Flenderson. Part of the problem is that Toby is genuinely funny, charming, and likable, qualities that make Michael more jealous than he can possibly bear. He also doesn’t appreciate that Toby always ruins his parades when he to make work a little too fun with alcohol or other questionable substances. In Mike’s own words, he just “hates so much about the things Toby chooses to be.”
Toby Flenderson: “Every Halloween, I tell him the same thing. You can’t bring _____ into the office.”
Speaking of Toby’s penchant to ruin Michael’s day, Dunder Mifflin Scranton’s HR representative has a tendency to do that to pretty much everyone else he works with, as well. To certain employees, this becomes a major issue on days they’re allowed to dress up. For example, Meredith often dresses too provocatively, and Dwight always goes way too far with his Halloween costumes, causing a frighteningly high potential for danger. Every year, Dwight tells Toby the same thing afterwards: Dwight will kill Toby after he returns what gets taken away.
Michael Scott: “_____. Roasted.”
As soon as Michael Scott announces he wants his employees to “Roast” him to help everyone relieve some stress, smart minds should have known things would go wrong. The living epitome of being able to give it out, but not take it, Michael goes to pieces the instant people start making fun of him, even though he knew full well that this was the entire purpose of the event. After some crying and soul searching, Michael eventually decides to get back at the office, calling them out one by one and coming up with “Roasts” of his own.
Andy Bernard: “Come to parking lot. Crazy _____ action.”
This is yet another a quote that could technically belong to another character, as it’s Darryl who says it out loud. However, Darryl is only reading a text that had just been sent to him seconds earlier by the Nard Dog. It was a pretty important text, too, since throughout the episode, Darryl decided Andy’s texting was getting absolutely out of control. After Andy texted him something irrelevant while they were standing right next to one another, Darryl gave Andy an ultimate that his next text better be great, or he would lose the privilege to send more.
Creed Bratton: “If I can’t _____, what’s this all been about?”
Look, we’re not going to pretend to have any idea what Creed Bratton gets up to in his spare time. Frankly, it’s a little surprising the perpetual grifter and hustler has any free time, but apparently he has a very in-depth hobby that he dedicates his entire life towards perfecting. Not only that, but it’s apparently direly important no one ever come under the impression he has asthma, because he doesn’t, and having the disease may make his favorite activity impossible. Unfortunately, someone told Stanley he did.
Michael Scott: “Holly, you and I are soup _____.”
After decades of looking for love in all the wrong places and only managing to find heartbreak and sorrow, Michael Scott finally found the perfect woman for him in new HR representative Holly Flax. Sadly, the story of their love took a few years to truly take off, with Holly transferred to Nashua shortly after their initially whirlwind romance began. Eventually, Holly came back to Scranton and it wasn’t long before the flame rekindled. Until that could happen, all Michael had were errant moments at company picnics, where he could try and convince Holly to come back to him.
Robert California: “There is only _____. Everything is _____. Do you understand that what I’m telling you is a universal truth?”
After Michael Scott left The Office, there was significant fan discussion about how the show could possibly go on. While season eight was indeed filled with ups and downs, one constant highlight was the new CEO of Sabre and by extension Dunder Mifflin, Robert California. Indefinable and indescribable in every way, Robert was often too intimidating for his staff to approach him in any way, shape, or form. That status began during his very first interview, where he described his scandalous philosophy towards the world, getting Jim to call him both creepy and a genius.
Scott’s Tots: “Hey, Mr. Scott! Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Make our _____ come true!”
Whether he can afford it or not, Michael Scott tries exceptionally hard to be a very generous man. No one moment in his life better elaborates how this is both a good and very, very bad thing than the debacle of Scott’s Tots. We can’t list all the kids who sing this song, because few of them are named, but we can tell their story. Some 10 years ago, Michael apparently promised an entire second-grade class he’d pay for their college tuition if they graduated. Of course, this was absolutely impossible for a man of his salary.
Dwight Schrute: “In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all. It’s _____.”
In most cases, when Jim plays a prank on Dwight, the results are typically funny. On the contrary, in the episodes where Dwight in turn pranked Jim, a better word for the situation might be horrifying. The scariest incident of all is probably when Jim challenges Dwight to a snowball fight. Furious that Jim jumped the gun, on the first “real” snowfall of the year, Dwight retaliates by hiding in a snowman and attacking Jim with a barrage of frozen orbs. Not done, Dwight later filled the parking lot with additional snowmen to prove the nightmare will never end.
Michael Scott: “Andy Bernard. Pros: he’s classy. He gets me. He went to Cornell. I _____ him. Cons: I don’t really _____ him.”
Ignorant and oblivious as Michael Scott can often act, the power Dunder Mifflin invested in him means the guy needs some level of ability at understanding his staff. Even if he lacks this skill, Mike is nonetheless tasked with using the information he should have to make major decisions, like who should or could replace him if he gets promoted. When thinking about the positives and negatives of the obsessed suck-up Andy Bernard, Michael reveals just how bad he is at making these sort of decisions by putting contrary facts in each category.
Kelly Kapoor: “Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how _____ you?”
With an attitude problem like no other, Ryan Howard instantly becomes the most hated man in Dunder Mifflin the second he’s promoted to corporate. While everyone thinks the guy immediately became a stuck up elitist, Kelly Kapoor in particular has reason to hate Ryan considering he broke off their relationship the second he got the news he was moving to New York. Once Ryan started returning to conduct various company business, Kelly was quick to call him out in the middle of a public meeting.
Dwight Schrute: “R is the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it murder and not _____.”
If anyone in Dunder Mifflin knows a thing or two about being menacing, it’s Sensei Billy’s longest lasting student, Dwight “Danger” Schrute. This is why he’s such an expert on which sounds are the scariest and most powerful, explaining his theory on the etymology of murder. For once, Dwight actually has a valid reason for talking about death and taking lives, in that Michael is terrified a salesman named John Grotti may be John Gotti in disguise, and he thinks “r” is the best letter a mobster could add to their name for it’s vicious connotation.
Michael Scott: “What’s missing…the _____. Where are the _____? Where are the _____? WHERE ARE THE _____? WHERE ARE THEY?”
Out of context, this is probably one of the more difficult moments on the quiz to remember. However, when Michael Scott was actually shouting this sentence out at the top of his lungs in one of his most epic freak outs ever, it was forever getting etched into the minds of those who saw it. To recap what he was yelling about, Michael and Dwight were trying to win back old clients with gift baskets. When one client showed no interest in returning, Michael demanded the chocolate treats back, and was furious some of them were missing.
Jo Bennett: “You can’t give me gravy and tell me it’s _____, because gravy ain’t sweet!”
Plenty of the women in Dunder Mifflin could be described as positive female role models, yet none are quite as proud of where they came from as Jo Bennett. The CEO of Sabre and thus owner of Dunder Mifflin in season seven, Jo is Southern, sassy, and always in control of the situation at hand. Clearly a fan of strange expressions, she always has a fun, folksy way to get her point across. Trying his hardest to keep up and fail, Michael eventually continues the folksy fun with a completely random “Y’all come back now.”
Dwight Schrute: “I don’t care what Jim says. That is not the real _____. I am 99% sure.”
Fun as it is to watch Jim prank Dwight, his best mind games are played on the entire Dunder Mifflin staff. In this instance, he was tasked with hiring a male stripper for the women while Michael and Dwight found female topless dancer to entertainment Bob Vance on the eve of his wedding with Phyllis. Instead of actually doing that, Jim sought out a celebrity impersonator, who gave the ladies a history lesson based on his personal experience. Then, proving certain historical figures are creepier than strippers, he awkwardly flirted with Pam.
Michael Scott: “What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I once went _____ years without having sex. And then again for seven years.”
To some people, the idea of a weight loss contest with a prize involving a paid vacation could potentially be a win, win, win scenario. Not only do they get to look good for the beach or wherever else they choose to relax, but they’ll also get just a little bit healthier and live longer in the process. Of course, they have to sacrifice a few meals in order to do it, which is why the idea pretty much fails across all of Dunder Mifflin. Particularly peeved is Michael himself, who feels everyone needs a lesson in abstinence.
Erin Hannon: “My last job was at a _____ Express. But then it became a full-time _____ and, I don’t know. I couldn’t keep up.”
Very few people actually belong at Dunder Mifflin, but truth be told, it’s unlikely young and naïve Erin Hannon would ever be capable of finding work elsewhere. The perpetually confused young woman has trouble keeping up with the simplest tasks, though she nonetheless excels at becoming Michael’s friend and playmate, which is all that really mattered to him. It’s a wonder she even got the job, though, considering she clearly didn’t have the best resume given this simple story she tells Mike on their Secretary’s Day lunch.
Michael Scott: “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be _____.”
Admitting his occasionally peculiar speech patterns, Michael Scott once admitted that he sometimes starts sentences without really knowing how they’re going to end. He simply hopes he’ll find a logical conclusion by the time he’s done talking, which wasn’t quite the case with this circularly illogical quote. Of course, it’s hardly out of character for Michael to genuinely lack the ability to comprehend the two things he’s trying to describe are basically the same, not to mention the fact it’s outrageously selfish, regardless of the semantics.
Gabe Lewis: “I am the _____ of this office.”
Sure, Robert California was a creep, and Creed Bratton was terrifying in his ways. However, at least these two dudes were funny. Gabe Lewis’s awkwardness always painted his disturbing nature itself as the butt of the joke, from repeatedly forcing Erin to watch shockingly violent horror films to the time he questioned if he had ovaries. As if that weren’t enough, Gabe almost seemed to accept his status as the lowest human in Dunder Mifflin with this quote, wherein he explains to Dwight why he’s still around. Only to Dwight would this make him “an American classic.”
Darryl Philbin: “Seems like the better title I have, the _____ my job gets.”
As The Office went on and some of the show’s biggest names started leaving for movies and other outside opportunities, a few of the supporting characters got to step up and receive bigger and bigger roles. Unfortunately, as Darryl Philbin quickly becomes aware, bigger does not always mean better, because each promotion he receives comes with some ridiculous setbacks on a personal level. Initially thrilled that Jo saw something special in him, before long, Darryl wishes he could have just chilled in the warehouse until Jim told him about Athlead.
Dwight Schrute: “THIS EXPRESSES HOW _____ I LOVE YOU!”
In those rare instances, Dwight Schrute’s confidence can actually pay off in extravagant and romantic ways. For all his faults, one thing that’s always been clear about Dwight is that he loved his coworker Angela Martin. Appropriately, the two shared the weirdest relationship in all of Dunder Mifflin, dating for years until Dwight killed Angela’s cat. From there, they were unknowingly married, had it annulled, made a contract to produce a baby, and broke that off, only to somehow conceive a child anyway. All that remained was a second proposal, which Dwight performed via megaphone in typically absurd fashion.
Michael Scott: “I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every _____ dream.”
All good things must come to an end, and for The Office, everything wrapped up at Dwight and Angela’s wedding. Returning for the first time in two years to serve as Dwight’s bestest mensch was Michael Scott, who only needed to say two sentences to become the standout of the entire finally. After repeating his legendary catchphrase, Mike stepped in front of the camera one last time to give his final thoughts on the state of the show before it said goodbye to the fans.