Even English Nerds Won't Be Able To Able To Pass This Quiz
- by Danielle Lasher
- – on
- in Mind Twisters
Face it—English is a difficult language. People trying to learn it struggle with what comes naturally to native speakers, like tag questions (don't they?). There are so many rules that make no sense, so many of them! How is a person supposed to keep track of all of them? The answer, of course, is that no one can, really—all we can do is internalize those rules with constant usage. Whoever heard of trying to speak by constantly referring to a list of the correct order for adjectives? The best way to get comfortable is through total immersion. Studying English, even majoring in it, is no guarantee that someone will see enough examples to know from context what's an intentionally broken rule for effect, and what's just plain wrong.
We weren't all English majors in school, but some of us have read widely, and know how to write. We know our participles from our adverbials. We know our way around a dictionary too. Nothing drives us crazier than reading something published (in public!) and finding typos or grammatical errors in it. That's why some of us travel with a Sharpie—to correct these things whenever possible. It's a lonely burden, but oddly satisfying. Let's celebrate this hard-won knowledge. Consider this an opportunity to put right all those mistakes that appear in subway ads, online newspapers, marketing emails, and books. It'll be such a relief that some may want to take it twice. Up for the challenge? Go!
She picked up some fresh green _______ vegetables for dinner at the farmer's market.
Here's another question about adjective word order—try not to flinch at the wrong answers listed. Also, try to remember to exhale after reading the wrong answers, even if it's difficult. The right answer will sound natural and correct, and the wrong one will be like nails on a chalkboard. Pay no attention to what the dinner might be—focus on the word order that makes sense. What goes in the blank here? She picked up some fresh green _______ vegetables for dinner at the farmer's market.
The cat knocked over a fragile old vase she had purchased in ______.
It's worth practicing how to correctly fill in blanks with adjectives, just to get more clarity on why some things sound right while others sound so very wrong. It's tricky, and emphasis will shift what's correct in normal usage. This sentence is designed for no unusual emphasis. Try to keep breathing, and unclench those teeth. Don't worry about the cat, or whether anything here gets broken. What goes in the blank here? The cat knocked over a fragile old vase she had purchased in ______.
Find the correct word to fill in the following sentence: _____ easy to use the correct word.
People get hopelessly muddled about the difference between contractions and possessives—maybe the apostrophes are what mix everyone up. Just sticking an apostrophe into a sentence where a possessive is called for might not be correct, though. Similarly, some of us find contractions absolutely clear. It will be clear here, too, if one knows the simple rule for checking what's right and what's wrong. Find the correct word to fill in the following sentence: _____ easy to use the correct word.
The lion licked _____ paw.
Elementary and middle school teachers start teaching the difference, but once some students learn that the possessive means using an apostrophe, they never look back. They'll use apostrophes—incorrectly—for years, everywhere, until someone stops them. Those of us who know the correct usage have an obligation to the world to make correct usage obvious to everyone else as it is to us. So let's try and stop some of the madness—fill in the blank with the correct word here: The lion licked _____ paw.
When I go to the beach, _____ always a long drive.
This is an ongoing struggle, and we need to be confident in the real, iron-clad difference between "its" and "it's." Try to remember that "it's" is always a contraction, and the correct choice will always spring out like one of those toy snakes that's made of a giant spring and stuck inside a fake cookie container. Don't let the apostrophe be deceptive! Fill in the blank: When I go to the beach, _____ always a long drive.
What a day _____ been—unending drama.
One more time for those in the back: "it's" is always a contraction, and it is always short for "it" plus a verb. The verb is either "is" or "has." No exceptions, no discussion. This is why the possessive for "it" looks strange, although this is not so very strange in the context of other possessive pronouns like "his" and "hers”. Use those English skills, and think carefully—what's the right choice here? What a day _____ been—unending drama.
It hasn't bothered me before, and ______a problem at all.
The people who know the right answer in their bones are really driven crazy by the ones who don't, so let's try and make sure to get it right. When a sentence uses a contraction of either "it is" or "it has," it can't get more complicated and keep the contraction as is. The words have to change to stay correct. Read carefully, and decide which goes in this blank: It hasn't bothered me before, and ______a problem at all.
I would have been home earlier if I hadn't had _____out late.
Oh, those variations on the verb "to be." Conjugations of this one infinitive verb get strung together in chains that can feel endless when one is lost in thought mid-sentence. Let's try to find a roadmap out of the confusion and into clarity. Think carefully, and make a choice wisely—but the correct answer will probably leap out from the list without too much effort. Fill in the blank: I would have been home earlier if I hadn't had _____out late.
It's easy to be _____.
"To be, or not to be" is a famous phrase, but pretty unusual. Hamlet's talking about existence itself, which is not a normal construction or topic in everyday speech. It's pretty common to use something like this construction with additional words inserted, however. See if with reflection, the right choice presents itself, to be obvious, or not to be too difficult, at least. To be correct is the desired objective! Try to fill in this sentence: It's easy to be _____.
I might have been there if I _____.
Correct conjugation of helping verbs can be very tricky, and doing it correctly partly depends on what a person is trying to say. There are tons of ways of putting things—this is one of the joys of language. "I am not uninterested" means something different from "I would be interested," and "I was interested" might mean something else entirely. Some of the words aren't open to interpretation, though. Which word fills the blank best here? I might have been there if I _____.
I went to the store, and _____ no way I would leave empty-handed.
Possessive and contraction confusion is not limited to "its" and "it's," though those are pretty high up on the list of common mistakes. Some words are spelled differently, but sound the same—this is called a homophone. In the case of "theirs" and "there's," the confusion is both between which of two homophones to use, and the old possessive/contraction problem from "its" and "it's." Which one is correct in this sentence: I went to the store, and _____ no way I would leave empty-handed.
The house was _____ after the closing.
Sometimes a contraction can be in some sense correct, but incorrect for the place where it is being used. Yes, it's possible to be partly correct but also really, really wrong. Consider what it sounds like when the wrong tense shows up, as in "We have were home all day." Horrible, isn't it? Yet "we were" is correct, and so is "we have." It's just wrong to put them together. Which is correct here: The house was _____ after the closing.
They went out, and now ____ back.
Keep the subject of the sentence in mind, and what the subject is doing, and it's hard to go too far wrong. The trick is to know what one's weak spots and common mistakes are, and to keep the right things mentally matched up with each other. The contraction of "they are" is "they're," so if that stays clear, it's impossible to mistakenly use "there" instead, or even "their." Keep this in mind, and fill in the blank here: They went out, and now ____ back.
I left theirs_____.
What happens when the sentence combines things that are easily confused? There are still rules for sorting this situation out. This can happen, for example, if a person is trying to shorten an idea. Think about how to get across the idea that "a bunch of people had ownership of some things that I left for them in an indeterminate place." Think it through, and choose the word that makes the most sense to communicate that idea: I left theirs_____.
There's a wall_______.
Even the best grammarian can get tripped up if it's late at night, or there's been too much work on too little sleep on too many different topics. Exhaustion can make a fool of anyone. The idea is that these choices should be second nature, but until they are, it may be helpful to keep looking things up. Unless there isn't time to do that; in that case, an educated guess will have to do. Guess here, with confidence: There's a wall_______.
Which word goes in the blank here: _____ ready for their appointment.
Doing a switcheroo might help make the right choice clearer. Then again, it might not. Plugging in the wrong word enough times can make that wrong word look right. So try to make the right choice the first time, and let the right words look right every time. Putting the wrong thing into a sentence just makes it look more familiar on some level, and then it starts to look right. Which word goes in the blank here: _____ ready for their appointment. Their If they are ready, then "they're" ready.
All ten _____ feet were muddy.
Apostrophes can go wrong without getting a contraction involved, of course. Plain old correct possessive with a singular or plural gets plenty of people into hot water. A word processing program won’t always catch that kind of mistake, either, especially if the sentence is really long and complicated. Try and spot the right usage for a plural possessive—that's when something belongs to a bunch of people or critters or things. Fill in the blank: All ten _____ feet were muddy.
Fill in the blank here: _____ feet spread germs.
A plural noun sometimes means the subject is a generalization—think of when someone says, "Lawyers always say this," or "Cats are adorable." Ignore for a moment whether or not cats really are adorable. This kind of plural still has to be treated as plural when a possessive comes into play, even though it feels like a singular might be correct because the sentence is about a single, unified type of item. Fill in the blank here: _____ feet spread germs.
A ____wingspan is small, unless the bug is huge.
Without enough sleep, it can be easy to start making mistakes that have never happened before. Tired eyes can go right over mistakes and miss them. Don't get tripped up by imagining plurals that aren't there. It can happen! Sometimes, tired eyes can also see mistakes where there aren't any. If completely normal words start to look wrong, it's probably a signal that it's time to stop for a while. Fill in the blank: A ____wingspan is small, unless the bug is huge.
_____ for sale.
Signs in stores can be especially annoying when they have mistakes on them, directing shoppers incorrectly all day long. It's so grating, like a dull headache that just won't quit. This is where a handy pen can make a world of difference. These mistakes are hard to stomach, and look like perfect targets for self-appointed grammar police, armed with a pen and an iron will. Try not to get it wrong if these show up this week: _____ for sale.
_____is the best marriage I've ever seen.
Here's one more question on the correct use of an apostrophe, with either a contraction or a possessive or both. Careful—after enough of these, even the right answer looks wrong for a second. So here's a nice thought to step off with into the rest of the questions. Try to think about something nice. Got it? Hang onto that. Take a deep breath. Remember to exhale, then read—and fill in what goes in the blank: _____is the best marriage I've ever seen.
We would ____ liked that.
Lots and lots of other things go wrong when people try to write correctly, and word processing programs only catch so much. Spell check misses words that are spelled correctly but the wrong word for the sentence—just now, for example, "cat" could slip in for "catch" by mistake, and the word processor would still think it was right. Grammar check is similar—be careful with the program's suggestions on a piece of writing. Fill in the blank: We would ____ liked that.
You and I ___ going home.
Getting the right number to match up between the noun (or nouns) and the verb (or verbs) is where lots of people mess up. There are some tricks to make the right answer look more obvious, but sometimes, it just has to be memorized. Unless the internet has the answer. Hey, the internet might have the answer. Hooray! Whoops—maybe not. Think about what the sentence is saying, and look at it again after a few minutes. Fill in the blank: You and I ___ going home.
I know there ____only one of you.
English has a word that is sometimes plural and sometimes singular: "you." It can be either one, which is confusing in some situations and in others is an advantage. The verb will make clear which it is—singular or plural. If the verb is wrong, though, what's a person to do? Try and figure it out from the rest of the sentence, and if the intended meaning is clear, then so is the answer. Fill this in: I know there ____only one of you.
Cancun is a _______ small tropical island.
Let's start with that pesky adjective word order problem then. Who could have guessed that there was a rule? Anyone trying to learn how to speak English correctly as a non-native, that's who. Assume that there isn't an unusual emphasis being placed on any of the words in this sentence, and fill in the blank with what would go correctly in the blank according to the normal rules of the order of adjectives: Cancun is a _______ small tropical island.
The ones who were there were you and ____.
Sometimes the correct way to put something looks wrong, and in that case, most of the time the speaker will find some other way to put the sentence so that it's both correct and doesn't sound awkward. This is where we run into a subtle difference between "correct" and "right." Suppress the urge to edit, here, and just find the word that is correct, not necessarily the most elegant. Fill in the blank: The ones who were there were you and ____.
I want us to go out, just ___ and you.
That pesky "you" is not just plural or singular—it can also act as a subject or object in a sentence. Loads of trouble can spring from this flexibility. So as a clue to which words are correct in the rest of a given sentence, the word "you" hanging around doesn't help, and sometimes it is actively deceptive if the sentence has a clause in it. Fill in this one: I want us to go out, just ___ and you.
I'm mad at you and _____.
It's vexing when one would normally say something by putting it into a sentence as an object of a verb or preposition, and one suddenly decides to put those words into the subject of a sentence instead. It's common to say "you go there with her" or "you guys go there" rather than "you and she go there." The "you and she" is correct, but it sounds wrong; changing the verb doesn't help, either: "you and she goes there" sounds terrible (as it should). Fill in: I'm mad at you and _____.
Her sunburn was an _____of the sunny day.
Two different words, affect and effect, are switched around constantly. People use one when they really mean the other, and vice versa, all the time. Maybe someday the accepted dictionary meanings will change to reflect the actual usage (or misusage) in the living language, but until then, there's work to do, wordsmiths! Learn these, learn what each one means, and go forth in greater wisdom. Fill in with the correct word: Her sunburn was an _____of the sunny day.
She wanted to _____the world around her.
Affect and effect are nouns, but they are also verbs. As verbs, they also mean different things. It would be so much easier if the verb meaning mapped closely onto the noun meaning for each of these, but they don't, really. Or maybe they do a little bit. It's confusing. Effect as a verb does not take an object, and affect as a verb does. That sounds confusing, but it's possible to get used to it. Start here, and fill in the blank: She wanted to _____the world around her.
He was an ______worker—he got things done.
There are subtle differences in the meanings of words that come from affect and effect, too. Affective and effective, for example, are wildly different—one is an adjective having to do with how people appear, and one describes being good at getting things done. One is familiar from phrases like "seasonal affective disorder," which is a condition of people being affected by the lack of sunlight. With that in mind, try to fill in the correct word here: He was an ______worker—he got things done.
She _____ change.
The differences between "effect" and "affect" get strangest when looked at as verbs in the past tense, which can also be used as adjectives. They're formed regularly, just by adding an "-ed," but the meanings once that's done get weird. "Affected" means that something changed something else in some way, or as an adjective, it means something similar to fake or put-on; this can be as in "the heat affected me," or "she had a very affected voice, very fake." Fill in the blank: She _____ change.
The horseman decided to _____ his horses, knowing they would find their way home.
More word confusion to clear up, here: "loose" and "lose." If one "looses" something, it means that some previously tied thing became loose and the thing may or may not still be around, but it's now not tied any more. So if a person were to loose a balloon, the balloon could still be around and stuck in a tree; it just isn't tied to anything any more. Fill in the blank: The horseman decided to _____ his horses, knowing they would find their way home.
He is, ____he?
One of the toughest things to learn in English is forming tag questions. Normal tag questions confirm by contradicting the main sentence. To make the tag question the same as the main sentence throws the sentence into doubt. This will sound familiar—"he has done it, hasn't he?" asks if he really has done it. The reverse, "he has done it, has he?" expresses doubt about whether he's done the thing. Assume the speaker is not doubting, and fill in the blank: He is, ____he?
She jumped with a parachute, _____ she?
Tag questions are normally limited to helping verbs, like has, or is, or do, and variations on those. This adds a whole other level of complexity to using them correctly, something native speakers have no problem doing but which people learning English struggle with. If the main verb is something that isn't a helping verb, like jump or bake or drive, the tag question uses a helping verb. Fill in the blank: She jumped with a parachute, _____ she?
Mary wasn't skydiving alone, ____ she?
Sometimes a tag question comes from a negative question—the rule is the same, though: a tag will reverse the verb in the main sentence. There is a subtle change in meaning with a negative, which expresses a level of shock at the idea that the main sentence might not be true. So if the main sentence is about Mary and her skydiving, and the speaker is worried about it, how would it go? Try to fill in the blank: Mary wasn't skydiving alone, ____ she?
Fill in: ____did you ask?
We can include owl sound effects, too—who! who! The subject word is who; the object is whom. Here's the tricky part: they're both question words, as in the classic "who, what, where, when, how." Question words like that usually start a question, and subjects also start sentences. So what to do when the start of the question is about the object rather than the subject? That's when "whom" comes in. Fill in: ____did you ask?
_____ is she?
Keeping subject and object straight is tough with questions, so it's a good thing that the rest of the question words aren't different for subject or object. Let's look at another example, and try to keep owl noises to a minimum to reduce distraction. For this question, the person being asked about is the subject. Knowing that, it's easy to fill in the correct answer in the blank: _____ is she?
_____ sister was that we saw yesterday?
Possessives and contractions again, this time with the "who" family. No, not the Dr. Seuss characters; these are words. "Who's" is a contraction of "who is," so it's only correct to use that if the intent is to say a version of "who is." Sounding exactly like that, but meaning something else, is "whose," which is a possessive for "who." If something belongs to the "who," whether it's a backpack or a personality trait, "whose" is correct. So fill in the blank: _____ sister was that we saw yesterday?
The bullfighter wanted to attack the man ____stole his favorite sword.
This time, the intent in the sentence is to use a "who" word to help describe something or someone accurately. Yes, there are rules for that, and they're the same as the rules for simpler sentences. Except different. Make sense? The subject of a modifying phrase is still a subject, even if it comes in the later section of a sentence where an object would normally be. Fun, huh? Fill in the blank here: The bullfighter wanted to attack the man ____stole his favorite sword.
The food was cooked very ____.
"Good" and "well" get confused regularly, so let's try to clear that up. "Good" is an adjective, and "well" is an adverb. As the names suggest, one is for verbs. Sometimes "well" means the opposite of "ill," though, so it's complicated. Common usage gets difficult when someone asks, "How are you?" The "correct" answer to this is controversial, so let's stick to less complicated cases. If the word is supposed to be about a noun, then "good" is correct. Fill in the blank: The food was cooked very ____.
He was a good dog, who hunted _____.
The same thing can be discussed using both "good" and "well" correctly—it just depends on the sense of the statement. If the singer is generally a talented singer, she's called a good singer; if she sang a particular song nicely, she sang well. One word is correct for the noun, and one word is correct for the verb. So simple, how could they possibly be mixed up? Or maybe not so simple. Fill in the blank here: He was a good dog, who hunted _____.
Fill in the correct word here: If he ____able to go, he would
There's a whole class of expressing shades of meaning and odd conditions with verbs, and it's called conditional and subjunctive mood. Most English speakers never hear about this stuff unless they learn another language! It may be useful to think of it this way: There is doubt in "could" or "would" that isn't there in "can" and "will." Those doubts are what people really mean, sometimes. Those words have rules, too. Fill in the correct word here: If he ____able to go, he would.
You stubbed ____ toe.
Who hasn't made a weird mistake when working late? Another big one that trips people up is getting the right "your" or "you're." One is a contraction, and one is a possessive, just like with "its/it's" mix-ups. "You're" is a shortened version of "you are." If "you are" makes sense in the place it's going, then great—it's correct. If what the sentence really means is "a thing that belongs to you" instead, though, the correct word is "your." Fill in the blank: You stubbed ____ toe.
Fill in the blank: _____kidding!
No kidding—people use "you're" when they really mean "your" way too often. Who knows why; maybe it's some holdover from dimly remembered rules about how to use apostrophe "s." The right way to write a possessive does not always have to include an apostrophe. It does sometimes, sure, but not every single time. Let's try and make that a new rule that everyone somehow knows already—maybe this groaner will finally go away. Go, team "your/you're"? It has potential, right? Fill in the blank: _____kidding!
Fill in the blank: You and ______ are friends.
English has a correct word order for pronouns, not just for adjectives. Since there aren't quite so many pronouns, though, it's easier to learn the order—just put the "I/me/my" last, and it will be correct. It sounds terrible when the words come in the wrong order—doesn't it sound like there is something wrong with "I and you should go now"? There is! Fill in the blank: You and ______ are friends.
He ____happy to see her and him.
The right number for the verb really matters. That means whether the verb is in the form for one person (or creature) doing the action, or for lots of people doing whatever it is. This is pretty simple when there aren't multiple pronouns in a row, but when there are, things can get hairy. "You and I am walking" is wrong; "you and I are walking" is right. The "I" might make it look like the word should be "am," but look again. Fill in the blank: He ____happy to see her and him.
The team ____ the game every time it rains.
Making the right choice of verb number gets easier with practice. No matter how many things there are in the subject or object of a sentence, the writer (or speaker) must know which word makes sense. A plural noun that looks singular can be hard to get right, though, like "team." Usually the team works as a single unit, so treat it as singular and give it a singular verb. Fill in the blank: The team ____ the game every time it rains.
The silver pickle was the _____ of the pair.
Special cases come up when a sentence says something that compares two things, rather than more than two things. When that happens, and there are only two things, one can be better than the other, or more, but it can't be best or most. It can only be best if there are more than two. Of course, individuals might argue that they're the best no matter how many they're compared with, but they should see reason eventually. Fill in the blank: The silver pickle was the _____ of the pair.
Of the fifty hamsters I have met, this one was______.
"Best" and "worst" are both superlatives. Even though "superlative" sounds like it can only mean good things, it really means a word taken as far as it can go in any direction. So "lowest" means that nothing can go any lower than that, and "worst" means the thing is so terrible nothing could get worse than it. They're still superlatives, even if they're superlatives of awfulness. Fill in the blank: Of the fifty hamsters I have met, this one was______.