Are You Headed For The Wedding Bells Or Divorce Lawyers?

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Awe. Who doesn’t love a good wedding? Truthfully, far too many people today are focused on their big white wedding, and not nearly enough of those couples who are saying I do are concentrating at all on what happens when the wedding day has passed. Why is the damn divorce rate so high? One explanation is that the people who are saying these vows don’t take them very seriously. Another is that they were searching for someone to have a wedding with — not necessarily someone to have a life with.

Moreover, there are far too many couples getting hitched today without any regard for what actually makes a solid, stable relationship. Got trust issues? Then you shouldn’t be applying for a marriage license. Unresolved issues with your ex? Figure that shit out before you trot down the aisle and sign up for a lifelong commitment to someone else.

Unfortunately, there’s no real screening process for getting married. Heck, in some places, you can marry your first cousin. No one is going to stop you and ask if you’re sure. If you have doubts, it’s best to speak up now before you are forced to forever hold your peace. Can you hear those wedding bells? Or maybe that’s an alarm bell. Not quite sure? Take the test!

Question 1

When is the last time you went through your partner’s phone?

A little paranoia is healthy, right? Wrong. Solid relationships don’t involve cheating, lying or distrust. If your relationship is on the rocks, and you’re having a hard time seeing it for what it is, ask yourself this: when is the last time you went through your partner’s phone? The answer can tell you a lot.

Question 2

How many of their exes is your partner still friends with?

Isn’t it amazing finding out that the person you’re dating still pals around with their exes? You don’t. You never saw the point in staying friends with someone that you were more than friends with. Wouldn’t they just want to keep banging you? Wait, don’t your partner’s exes want the same? How many of their exes are they friends with anyway?

Question 3

Who has had more sexual partners – you or your partner?

Hey, everybody’s got a past. You knew getting into this that you weren’t likely their first. Does anyone really want to be somebody’s first anyway? Will they have any idea what they’re doing? Sometimes, it can feel like we want to keep score with our partners, and past sexcapades aren’t off limits. Any idea whose had more sexual partners?

Question 4

How old are you?

Look, the truth is, age matters just as much as size does. Yes, size does matter. That being said, age is everything – especially where men are concerns, given that they tend to mature much later in life than women do. Thus, it kind of makes sense that most men couple up with women who are younger than them. Any older, and they might feel mothered more than they like – or worse, they could crash under the pressure to grow up.

Question 5

Who is older between the two of you?

Statistically, certain dynamics make for better and more long-lasting marriages. Hey, we didn't make the rules. So, don't shoot the messenger. In heterosexual marriages, the marriage appears to be more likely to last if the male partner is older than the female partner. When it comes to marriages where both partners are the same sex, the jury is still out. Which of you is older?

Question 6

Do you plan to have children with your partner?

Honestly, kids can make or break a relationship. In many cases, couples aren't prepared for an unintended pregnancy. The unplanned child that comes with it turns out to be too much for the couple to bear. Of course, plenty of couples plan their pregnancies, and still, their relationship falters. Do you plan to make babies with your partner in the future?

Question 7

How many times have you lied to your partner in the last month?

Look, everyone lies. We are all guilty of telling a fib now and then, especially if it's meant to spare someone else's feelings. Where we go wrong is when we lie to protect ourselves. Lying to your partner creates resentment and damages the bond of trust between the two of you. How many times have you lied to your partner in the last month?

Question 8

How many times do you think your partner has lied to you in the last thirty days?

If you're not looking for the signs of a lie being told, you might miss it altogether. Sometimes, it's those who are closest to us that hurt us the most, and because we are so deeply attached in an emotional way, we don't see it coming. Of course not! Who would want to? But everyone else can. Would you know if your SO was up to no good? How many times do you think they've lied to you in the last month?

Question 9

How many times do you two get it on each week?

Don't play coy. We all know what's up. While most couples are certainly not waiting for their jaunt down the aisle to jump in the sack, they might start slacking in this department before they ever get to the church. For some, the deed just becomes less interesting as the new wears off. For others, they're tired from work and need to nurse their headache instead. How manny times do you two get it on each week?

Question 10

Where is the last place you did the deed?

If you're one of those lucky couples that hasn't yet tired of getting lucky, then you might have a few salacious stories to tell, and we want to hear them. Knockin' the boots doesn't only have to happen in the bedroom, contrary to popular belief. Real-life couples can get it on just like they do in the movies - on the floor, on the counter top, in a tree house, or on a boat. Where is the last place you did the deed?

Question 11

What religion do the two of you ascribe to?

Hummmmmmmm.... sorry, just meditating.... Okay, all done. Religion isn't all its cracked up to be for some people. Not everyone is into it. Some were born into a family that worships, and they may grow up to embrace those ties or sever them. Others have no religious guidance at all throughout life, but they find their Jesus later on. Hey, whatever works! What religion do the two of you ascribe to?

Question 12

How do you feel about your mother-in-law?

Ah, mother-in-laws. They drive us mad on the best of days. They are the reason that we have our partners, and the reason our partners are who they are. Still, we can't help but sneer at her every time she suggests we rethink our parenting tactics or the way we talk to their child — who is a grown ass adult that can handle themselves. Why is she always butting in anyway? Come on, how do you reeeeally feel about your MIL?

Question 13

Who is your best friend?

When we're growing up, we all tend to assume that one day, we'll marry our best friends. No, not our best friend at that time. Rather, we will meet someone who becomes our best friend above all others, and that's the person we'll marry. It sounds sweet. It sounds ideal. Too bad it's not always true. Tell us, who is your best friend?

Question 14

Do you believe in soulmates?

What the hell is a soulmate anyway? Are we really supposed to believe that there's this one and only person out there we're supposed to share our lives with? Come on... what if we never find them? Does that mean all the other relationships we end up in are just a waste of time? Has anyone taken the time to compute the odds of actually meeting a soulmate in this big old world? Do you believe in them?

Question 15

Which of the following songs best describes your relationship with your partner?

Alright, music lovers. This is your chance to really show us what you're made of. We all have those songs that come on the radio and take us back a certain place of memory. That's the magic of music. It can transform us and we attach memories to the way it makes us feel. Which of the following songs best describes your relationship with your partner?

Question 16

Which TV couple are you two most like?

While we certainly aren't advising that anyone should base their relationship goals of those of celebrities, we do wonder just how much TV life aligns with real life. Would Mary Tyler Moore really have been single with all she had going for her? Was Nene actually all that justified in divorcing Gregg? What about you? Which TV couple are the two of you most like?

Question 17

How many times have you broken up and then reunited?

Ah, there's a serious problem in relationships today. It's the habitual break-up. Sadly, rom-coms have led an entire generation of women to believe that relationships which are fueled with drama and on-again-off-again Facebook status changes are all the rage. Not that it's all their fault. Who are we kidding? The men are always to blame, right? Just how many times have you and your SO broken up?

Question 18

How long did you know one another before deciding on marriage?

Walking down the aisle and professing one's love to someone is a big commitment. Just a forewarning, when you get to the end, they're going to expect you to recite a few very hardy promises in the name of religious affiliations and the law. It's pretty intense and not at all the way Kim Kardashian makes it seem. Before you jump in head first, it's best to make sure you really know the person you're marrying. How long did you know one another before deciding to get hitched?

Question 19

How long did you wait before you ‘did the deed’?

Yeah, we're jumping back on that bandwagon. Everywhere we look, there is temptation. Men are drawn to pretty young things on billboards, magazine covers and cinema. Women are fed endless lines of romance and heart-fluttering lies from the same sources. Somehow, we all meet in the middle and hope the other person won't have expectations from us that are closer to fantasy than reality. The bedroom is no exception. How long was it before you two rolled in the hay?

Question 20

Ever have a threeway?

No, we're not referring to a phone call. In this day and age, couples are making threesomes of themselves more and more. Some are down for it as everyday life. Polyamory is not as taboo as it once was. Others just like to dabble in that world once or twice and that's enough for a lifetime. Have you and your partner ever brought another party (or more) into the bedroom?

Question 21

What’s the best way to your partner’s heart?

Not every couple is created equal. How could they be? We are all so varied as individuals. People couple up all the time that no one ever expected would hit it off. Polar opposites unite and live the most amazing lives together. Meanwhile, there are couples that couldn't be any more compatible that call it quits after only a few years. It's likely that these people didn't really know one another at all. What's the best way to your partner's heart?

Question 22

If you were to break up, would you ever go back and date one of your exes again?

No one wants to think of themselves as our plan B, or C, or D - you get the drift, but we all have had them at one point in time or another. We all look back and wonder 'what if?' We all have weak moments in which we question whether an old flame still thinks about us, too. But given the opportunity, we'd like to think that we are committed enough to our current partners not to stray. What if it wasn't an issue, though? If you two called it quits, would you go back and date an ex again?

Question 23

How long does a romp in the sack take?

Because we can never talk about this topic enough, we want to know how much time you're investing in one another. Sure, a good woman might cook dinner most nights. A good man might open the door for her when they go somewhere. Ahem, a great man would vacuum and do the laundry, too. Just saying. But he wants something in return. Time. Affection. Attention - your full attention. Are you two giving it your all when you've got alone time? Just how long does a romp in the sack take?

Question 24

How old was your partner when they lost their virginity?

A real, honest relationship that is going to stand the test of time is one in which both parties have been up front about their pasts. No, you don't need to disclose every encounter you've ever had, or the names of each ex as you remove them from your Facebook friend's list. However, it's pretty important that you share milestones in your life with one another. So, how old was your partner when they lost their virginity?

Question 25

Where did you first meet your partner?

Don't worry, there doesn't seem to be too much correlation between where you first meet your partner and how your relationship turns out. That is, of course, as long as you don't meet them while you're both completely intoxicated and lacking all forms of goof judgement. Sometimes, it seems like you've met your perfect match, but really, you've just met the wrong person in dim lighting with a strong buzz brewing. Where did you first meet your partner?

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