Take This 60-Second Test And We'll Reveal If You're A Man-Child
- by Michael Winter
- – on
- in Lifestyle
It may shock you to learn that God’s mistake was in creating Man first. He made someone who had no parents, no friends, and no proper life skills. In fact, for someone forced to live by himself, Adam was pretty incapable in just about every way.
In the end, God saw what He had made and realized He’d goofed. Thus, He tried again and created Woman. Alas, by the time He came back with Eve it was too late. Adam had grown into what we would now call a man-child: an adult guy who in his mind still has the traits of a child: incapable, unrestrained, impulsive, and walking around paradise in the buff because he doesn’t know where his clothes are kept.
Meeting Eve changed Adam in some ways but not in others. In spite of his warning about The Tree of Knowledge and of good and evil being out of bounds, when she brought him some of its fruit he ate it gleefully.
Unfortunately, the man-child needed a stronger hand to guide him to safety. Eve wasn’t the answer, and it was too late to do anything about it.
Read on to find out whether you share some of Adam’s man-child characteristics.
How do you feel when you mess something up?
Forgot her birthday? Forgot the shopping? Dinked the car? Killed the hamster? Or worse still, your own wedding anniversary? When you foul up with something that you know is important to your beau, how does it make you feel? Answer this one truthfully…
What was your last dream about?
Man-children may be in a perpetual state of daydreaming, but we’re only talking about your night time excursions to the fairy land inside your head. We all know that the things we dream about portend to real-life events, which is why we’d be very interested to know what went on in your head last night.
How do you attract the attention of someone in the street?
Some of us are obsessed with keeping in contact with our friends; others among us have a more casual approach and only chat to friends when we next find ourselves with free time. If you saw someone you knew walking along the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street how would you react?
How do you greet your lover?
Are you a committed half of a relationship? Do you take seriously the ups and downs of life? Never mind all of that for now; the way you greet your other half, either in the morning when you wake up or after a day’s work marks you as having a certain awareness of her place in your life.
How much of the bill do you split at breakfast?
Let’s assume that both of you head off to a diner for breakfast after being up all night playing scrabble (and considering the state of your place, that is the better option). One of the biggest giveaways of a man-child is his lack of savings. Harsh but true. What percentage of the bill will you pay?
When you make a promise how likely are you to keep it?
A promise is a way to insure that you will do something in the future; that is its true meaning. But for many men and women, promises are more like theoretical finish lines that may or may not be reached. Regardless of what your promise is it is usually a good idea to keep it, or better yet not make one.
Which superhero are you most like?
It is often hard to gauge a person’s true character until we are several months into a relationship. How someone portrays themselves is determined by their situation, how they feel on that day and what they want you to see. Your answer to this will help.
How often do you cry?
Don’t be afraid to answer this one. Remember, all of your answers are collated in strictest confidence, and there isn’t anything at the end of the quiz that will broadcast your tendency for uncontrolled weeping. So, come on… how often do you cry?
What’s your occupation?
You don’t just see poor man-children. There are rich ones too. It doesn’t follow that your financial status begets your man-childlike qualities. But a typical man-child will do whatever he can not to work, or will choose some occupation for a month to then leave because the work was “too hard”.
How do you show your affection?
Some of us shy away from affection but there is always something we do that allows us to express what we feel. It may not be by coming out with words of love or writing poetry, it may be by buying flowers or jewelry. Others of the male species decide to do things differently. These are the man-children. So, what do you do?
How often do you play video games?
The stereotype of the man-child is someone who also plays video games or indulges in activities children may enjoy. And he plays them a lot, in fact more than he should. In fact, he may also be playing them at the expense of going about the business of being a grown-up. What about you?
What kind of car do you drive?
The car is a modern day status symbol. Yes, it is a way to get backwards and forwards some place but the type of car – even the cheapest – is chosen for what it looks like. Back in the day, people would do exactly the same when it came to buy a horse. And the poorer country folk were lumbered with donkeys. Do you drive a donkey?
Give an example of being spontaneous.
When we talk about being spontaneous, we’re especially talking about doing so within the safety of your relationship. Making a snap decision to go on vacation is spontaneous. Painting a room is spontaneous. Some of us have a different impression of what it means though…
Who buys the first drink on a date?
Gestures are important when it comes to impressing someone. If you offer to buy something, or even walk someone home at night you have gone a long way to having your name written in their good book. So when you are out for a date and you walk up to the bar, what happens next?
What do you do when your boo is crying?
Being a man comes with certain responsibilities. Being a boyfriend comes with even more. Men are taught from an early age to deal with their strong emotions, and to be dependable and reliable. In spite of all the fuss made about sexism, there is no substitute for lending support to someone who is upset.
What do you find the funniest?
If we’re with a friend who spends most of his time checking his phone and chuckling to private texts, we may think of him as rude. In fact, he isn’t rude, he is a man-child, and this causes him to be oblivious to the importance of social interaction!
When was the last time you made fun of someone?
It is no secret that children make fun of other children and adults. But by the time we have reached adulthood we know that sometimes doing so can hurt the feelings of others. Most of us, when we realize this, stop immediately. Others, however, carry on regardless.
Would you stand up and fight for someone?
Its high time we admitted that the world would be a far poorer (and not to say, messier) place to live without women. And one day one of those women may agree to spend their life with you if you're lucky. How does that make you feel? And would you do everything you could to keep her?
How drunk do you get at parties?
When you’re young you feel invincible and any talk about the effects of drinking and smoking on your health is boring and a killjoy to you. Anyway, this isn’t the time or the place to be warning of the damage such things can do to your body, but we’d like to know how drunk you do get, please…
What place would you like to visit?
There must be somewhere in the world you'd like to visit. We don’t mean locally, we mean the world. There are adventures to be had, oh, the places you’ll go! But what part of planet Earth tempts you the most?
What’s happening tomorrow?
Do you have plans for tomorrow? Is there something exciting happening? Most of the time, enjoying life is about planning and thinking ahead. But for many others it is about seeing what comes up or taking things one day at a time. On occasion, that’s not a bad way to be, but every day? Really?
How do people see you?
If you overheard someone talking about you, what do you think they would say? Would they be glowing about your effervescent appeal or would they think that you were a douchebag? Either way, it doesn’t really matter what others think of you (but it’s nice to know).
What was your last job interview for?
Bagging a job after leaving school is a big moment in a young man’s life. It marks him as someone who is “on his way” in life, and at the start of a career that will perhaps support him and his family until he retires. What was the last opportunity you interviewed for?
How long was your longest relationship?
Cast your mind back to the last relationship that seemed as though it would go the distance. Never mind how it ended or who was to blame or whether it was determined from the start that it would never work. How long were you together for?
How do you ask someone out?
We’re never taught how to ask someone out on a date and yet it is a moment fraught with danger. Each situation is different, but each answer the same: either yes, or no. One of the biggest giveaways of a man-child is the way they go about this…
